WUZDESCENE! ... My take on life in T and T!
Highlighting a lot of nothing ..... about everything!!!
WUZDESCENE

What a difference ah S could make ....

Whether is tuh start off words like SHIT ....

Or tuh pluralise words like BREAKFASSES ....

I never really study before how important de letter S really is yuh know ....

Cuz look at how ah simple S coulda make us not look like ASSES!



That poor pig ....

So leh meh see if ah get dis right:


Thursday, October 10

That severed pig's head was found lying at the side of a roadway in Glencoe ...





De residents call de Carenage Police .... but dey refuse tuh touch it .... dey tell de residents dat de pig look like ah job fuh de TTSPCA (Trinidad and Tobago Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals) .....

Then .... totally ignoring de Police suggestion .... de residents called de Diego Martin Regional Corporation .... who say .... dat de pig on private property .... so it ain't their responsibility tuh move it ....

Then .... de residents decide .... dat de next bess ting tuh do .... was fuh ANYBODY tuh jus put de pig head in ah garbage bag .... and get de garbage collectors tuh 'collect' it ....

Well .... dat eh work eeeeeder .... cuz nobody wanted tuh touch de pig ....

De residents was convinced dat it was some kinda obeah scene .... and if dey had move it .... dey coulda be harmed spiritually .... dey tort it was some kinda satanic ritual to harm somebody in de area ..... or perhaps send a 'yuh life in danger' message .....


Friday, October 11

De pig head still lying at de side of a roadway in Glencoe ....

De residents call de Diego Martin Regional Corporation again .... yes .... de same people who say it on private property an' is not their responsibility blah, blah, blah .....

After de call .... Sanitation workers reach now ..... tuh pick up de pig head .... but get jumbie when dey see it .... and dey too
.... refuse tuh touch it ....

.... until a resident offer dem ah $40 tuh move it .... and then all was well!!!!

The residents then breathed a sigh of relief .... after which they were advised to sprinkle puncheon ..... and rum ..... and salt ..... on the spot (where the pig's head was resting) .... and then set said spot on fire ....

.... which they did!





Saturday, October 12

All's well that end's well wit ah lil puncheon and rum!

Happy World Post Day???!!!!

Note to self ..... I MUST stop logging on here only when I'm pissed!!!!


On September 27, 2012 .... I wrote a post entitled .... Why some Trinis do stupid things .... where I outlined a problem I was having with MAIL ....

Well ..... SIGH ......

One year later .... I AM STILL EXPERIENCING THE SAME PROBLEM!

Yesterday I get a call from my insurance company .... remindin me dat my car insurance due in two weeks ....

Now while I was grateful fuh de call .... I was also a lil confused .... cuz normally I would get a renewal notice in de mail .... which I didn't .... which I told the woman on de phone .... who then advised .... that the notice was mailed since AUGUST!

Now at first ah didn't really take it orn eh .... ah jus tell mehself .... dat is TT Post fuh yuh ....

But ...

Yuh know me ....

Tings does fester if ah doh deal wit dem ..... so de indifference didn't last too long .... ah call TT Post ....

.... and Mr. Jones (de Supervisor) answer ...

Now ah doh want tuh go into de convo too much .... cuz it was kinda long .... Mr. Jones went into all de challenges dey goin tru .... he explain all kinda ting tuh meh .... he apologise .... he tell meh dat altho it have mail fuh meh .... sittin down doin nuttin in TT Post .... ah cyah come an' get it .... but .... wit dah one .... he promised tuh have it delivered soon (as in today) ....

A ... A .... today now I readin papers .... and see some dotish scene .... with de Minister of Public Utilities .... and some World Post Day scene .... an' he an' he Ministry wishin people .... HAPPY WORLD POST DAY .....

Well yuh know wit dah one .... meh monkey glands raise!

Cuz WTF .... who de arse care about de WORLD and dey POST .... and if dey DAY .... HAPPY .... wha bout Trinidad Post .... and Tobago Post .... and makin we happy??!!!

STEUPS!!!!!!!!

Anyway .... de foolishness make meh remember dat Mr. Jones had promise tuh have meh mail delivered today ....

And boy did they deliver ....

Cuz guess what I find in my mailbox when I open it this morning ....

16 PIECES OF MAIL ....
NOT 6 EH!
16!

16 ENVELOPES (15 WHITE - 1 BROWN)





HAPPY WORLD POST DAY MY ARSE!!!!

LAWD .... only in Trinidad!

A woman goes to a show in NAPA .... with her husband and her baby .....

De baby start tuh fuss .... so de woman decide tuh breast-feed de baby ....

An observant Usher ..... see de scene .... and promptly set de woman straight .... telling her dat breast-feeding is not allowed in de auditorium .....

De woman looks at de Usher in amazement .... and he repeats .... 

De husband then jumps eeeeen at dis point and asks .....

WHY????? ..... as in .... why is breast-feeding not allowed in the auditorium???!!!

The Usher then replies .....

BEVERAGES NOT ALLOWED IN THE AUDITORIUM
RULES ARE RULES



Here we go again ....

It is so pathetic that dat is what de water company have tuh do .... tuh get Trinis tuh report leaks ....

It is pathetic too .... that we have so many leaks around the country .... that de water company could easily make up a competition tuh see who could find de most ....

It is pathetic again .... that Trinis won't even grasp ..... that this is a kinda preventin water wastage scene .... and not a WIN TING scene ....

And it is kinda scary .... dat de water company kinda now put new ideas in idle Trinis heads ....

Cuz HELLO .... fuh a $500 HILO voucher .... and a smart TV .... I could jus see smart Trinis getting creative ..... and bussin pipe .... jus tuh make leak .... tuh report!

Anyway I off tuh drive around my neighbourhood .... ah bong tuh find leak!






PS:  Vonda Jeffery win two weeks in a row .... Grrrrrrr .... how'd she do that?

Yet another ad I just don't get!

Alotta times I see stuff that I just don't get ....

Is it that the .... Door and Window Factory Outlet .... sellin TYRES too ....

.... and is it only if yuh buy a DOOR LOCK or a NEW TYRE .... dat yuh will get de prices listed????

.... and if that IS in fact de case .... what is de likelihood dat somebody who goes tuh de Door and Window Factory Outlet tuh buy a door .... will actually need a tyre too ....

Is de name of dis place even Door and Window Factory Outlet .... or is it just a Factory Outlet fuh anyting?!

So confused!


BOOM!!!

Thanks fuh wakin meh up Wizzy!

Hear what I notice happenin on dis blog ....

There are some peeps whose comments appearin as SPAM .... so .... what dat means is dat I eh gettin no email tuh say it have a comment waitin .... cuz I doh get no advice about SPAM ....

So is only today .... when Wizzy post a comment .... and I end up in de comments section on de blog itself .... dat I see two other comments waitin patiently .... and I say patiently .... cuz dey was written since last month ....

So I do apologise .... I didn't know ....

And of course I eh know how tuh fix dis problem either ....

So for now .... I will try my best tuh cut down on de lapsin .... and try tuh touch down on de comments section more often .... jus so I don't miss any of y'all two cents ...

Anyway .... I out .... busy busy busy .... tired tired tired ....

GYAZETTE ... de MUSIC ... not de papers!

It eh no secret ... dat I am ah Gyazette fan!!! .... so naturally .... when talk of an album started swirlin around some time last year .... I became a bigger groupie maco .... cuz what sweet music tuh my ears dat was ..... ah jus had tuh keep on top ah dat zeppo ....

Months later now .... turns out de talk .... wasn't jus talk .... Gyazette really have ah album .... BREAD .... and dey releasin it .... next week ....

Now ah doh know if ah ever mention here before ..... dat I am Gyazette's No. 1 fan (yeah I give myself dat title ) ..... so of course today ..... when de press release .... get release .... I ketch it in my inbox too ..... cuz not only am I their No. 1 fan ..... but ah jus have it like dat  .... so if next week Saturday .... yuh lookin fuh ah lil scene .... TTW is where it's at .... go pleasure yuh senses .... fall eeeeeen .... I go be dey .... yeah me .... Wuzdescene!





Gyazette debuts contemporary, edgy album 
 

There is an unarticulated, often unaknowledged angst and pain lurking amongst present day T&T youth. While most of us complain and wring our hands in despair, a new generation of musicians is reintrepreting and rechanneling these energies into new forms of expressive creativity.

Since 2007, Gyazette has been one of T&T music’s best kept secrets; but has been steadily gaining a reputation among the local music underground for poignant lyrics, a fat, rhythmic rocking sound and an intense live energy. In April, the band will debut its much anticipated first album, ‘Bread’ at the Trinidad Theatre Workshop.

Gyazette is a cosmopolitan unit of musicians of distinctively diverse styles jamming together for a single purpose - creating new approaches of storytelling through music. The band roots its sound in the rich musical heritage and history of this country while serving it up with a contemporary edge and aggressive awareness. Gyazette’s sound at its very core is an invigorating style of fusion music.  Through unlikely and unexpected cross genre experimentations with Calypso, Funk, Reggae, Hip Hop and Rock blended with Eastern influences, their music defies the simple traditional genre categorizations and is arguably a revolutionary genre of its own yet to be classified.

Nickolai Salcedo, Gyazette’s founder and lead vocalist/ guitarist describes their sound as Nu Kaiso, “It’s storytelling in song. The root of the rhythm is based on kaiso which is then fused into different styles or vice versa. It’s Kaiso of the modern age, reinventing the traditional and bringing it up to speed with contemporary music and social realities of our day.”

Salcedo who also writes the music and lyrics for the band explained that the ethos of Gyazette’s music is influenced by “struggles in love, personal experiences, food, money, survival… The music faces life’s struggles head on and helps to overcome these obstacles.”

The 6 track debut album, ‘Bread’ narrates the stories of this country’s underbelly. Unabashed, at times brutally honest, sometimes devilishly playful; the album re-views contemporary T&T through jaundiced but optimistic eyes. In the title song, a PH taxi driver on the verge of starvation and desperation makes a questionable ethical choice. ‘Jumbie’ encourages us to exorcise our inner jumbies by confronting them head on.  ‘Dance We Do’ advises that we can self exorcise these jumbies and get through the rough times by finding a way to dance or groove through life. In ‘Mango’, the storyteller playfully admits that after working long and hard, all he wants to do is pick mangoes to relieve his stress.

Gyazette’s inimitable sound is conditioned by the band’s unexpected formation and composition. In 2006, Salcedo was a Visual Arts Teacher in the Secondary School system who abhored the distance and formality of the syllabus and prescribed teaching style. Observing that his teenaged students “were listening to all sorts of negative themed music” he took on the challenge of teaching himself music as a more interactive, engaging teaching approach. In the process, he discovered that through music he could return to his artistic self. Salcedo comes from a musical family; but apart from a 10 minute music lesson from his father; and a course in Music Composition at UWI, he is a self taught musican and songwriter who has composed scores of songs yet to be unleashed. At one point, he was writing 14 songs a week- “The songs were just flying through me as a kind of soundtrack for my life around me”.

After a year of developing his own ecclectic style, Salcedo enlisted the support of a few fellow musicians to form his Gyazette. Following a few changes to the band’s membership over the years, Gyazette now consists of Nickolai Salcedo (Lead Vocalist and Guitarist), John Hussain (Guitarist), Jonathon Otway (Drummer), Tinika Davis (Percussionist), Corey Wallace (Bassist), Shirleena Zola Grandsoult (Vocalist) and Mandisa Granderson (Vocalist).  Together the seven with their passionate, energetic cohesive spirit; unique fusion of musical genres; and narrative content have been able to draw audiences of varying ages and backgrounds. Recent performances include LIV – The Concert, 3Canal Backyard Jam, Zeitgeist at The Little Carib Theatre, 50th Independence Anniversary Celebrations and Fête de La Musique.

Gyazette’s debut album Launch and Concert ‘Bread’ will be held on Saturday, April 13 from 7 pm at the Trinidad Theatre Workshop in Belmont. Admission is $80 and the band will give away 2 free CDs.  Limited copies of the CD Album will be on sale as well as individually customised Gyazette T-shirts. For more information, please contact gyazettett@gmail.com or find them on Facebook at www.facebook.com/gyazette and ReverbNation at www.reverbnation.com/gyazette.

National Patriotism Week??

Did you know that this week is NATIONAL PATRIOTISM WEEK????

And tomorrow is NATIONAL PATRIOTISM DAY????

I didn't ....

But den again .... I eh read ah papers since Wednesday March 6 .... so is only yesterday .... while ah was goin tru de huge pile (of papers) dat was collectin on de ground .... dat I discover dat we (Trinbago) observin some kinda patriotism scene dis week ....

Now I eh know about you .... but EVERY DAY is Patriotism Day fuh me ..... so tomorrow .... just as I do on any other day .... I WILL be representin in my Trinbago colours .....

Look de dramas ah see in de papers .....




.... Tomorrow is the first National Patriotism Day in Trinbago .... wear yuh red, white and black ....




Win a Flag tuh put on yuh house? .... a la what dey does do in America? .... 




Look .... one day after yuh wear YOUR paid for Trinbago Colours T-Shirt .... yuh could get a FREE one at de Heritage Walk ....




and look again .... yuh even have an opportunity tuh win ah whole 10 gran ..... off of dis outta-de-blue patriotism mumbo-jumbo scene ....


 

Oh how I love my country .... saw these on the internet ....

LIV - The Concert

This is not a review ....

Cuz honestly ..... I have no words ....

I just dropped by to say ....

.... that i LIV on one of the most beautiful rocks on the planet (Captain Walker dis is fuh you )!! .... and my people .... can sometimes be some of the most caring, giving human beings!

.... and I say this cuz ....

Yesterday I attended the LIV Concert at O2 Park in Chaguaramas .... and DAT is what took my words (and breath) away .....

Yeah ....

I don't know how to describe what I experienced yesterday .... cuz dat concert was so awesome .... and euphoric .... and pore raising .... I laughed .... I cried .... I smiled .... I danced .... I listened .... I absorbed ..... I felt proud .... proud to be Trini .... I felt happy ..... happy to see so many people come out to support ....

cuz yeah .... I swear de whole of Trinbago was dey  .... people like crazy .... and ....

I swear every local musician and artistes was in de dance too .... cuz was music and vibes like mad ....

Even artistes from other islands was representin too ....

.... and artistes sing ting yuh woulda never tort dey coulda sing ....

Machel play keyboard and piano .... I shock .... because I never knew he coulda play any instruments ....

De flow was sweet .... and de vibes was borse .... no stickin whatsoever ....

I still kinda high .... and I eh wanna come down at all ....

From today .... I could say ....

i LIV fuh more vibes and unity and supporting fellow Trinbagonians .... like what happen yesteday ....

BIG UP tuh de LIVE MOVEMENT!!! .... and best wishes to Cherise (who is having surgery on Saturday) .... Faith Ann (who has already left the country for treatment) .... and Stefan ....

Bless!


TSTT yuh win!!! .... KFC .... take note!

Oh gorm .... ah on ah roll .... is post ..... after post ..... after post!!!

An' ah was really tryin tuh give up meh bad ways fuh de Lent eh .... but is jus too much ting jumbie-in meh ....

Now you may remember ..... two days ago (Wednesday) .... ah had logon tuh gripe about ah lil situation ah was havin wit TSTT and one of dey Dealers .... an' de situation had kinda raise meh monkey glands .... and cause meh tuh call dem up and behave like a donkey .... after which dey put de Supervisor tuh call meh back tuh say .... Whoa Donkey yuh ting ready!

Right ....

Yesterday now .... I here .... minding my biz .... when my cell phone start tuh ring .... at 4:13 pm .... and de number dat callin .... was none other .... than ..... 824-TSTT .....



So ah let it ring a few times .... an' den ah answer .... in de gruffest tone ah coulda find .... cuz what de heck dey was callin me for again?!

Dis was de convo:



ME:   HELLO!!!

TSTT:   Hello ..... Good Afternoon .... may I speak with Wuzdescene ....

ME:   Speaking ....
(while thinking Grrrrrr - yuh call meh on meh cell an' askin tuh speak wit ME - who else does answer a cell phone but de owner of de cell phone?!)

TSTT:   Hi Wuzdescene ..... my name is Mr. TSTT .... and I am calling to let you know that your number was selected for FREE 4G data blah, blah, blah ..... for one month ....

ME:   R-e-a-l-l-y????
(while thinking Grrrrr - cuz what is 4G?! - data?! - is dat de internet?!)

TSTT:   Yes .... what kind of phone do you have ....

ME:   An iPhone .... but de real ole one .... like maybe a 3G?

TSTT:   Hold on please .... let me check on that model ....

TSTT:   Yes .... it will work on your phone .... so for one month .... til April 7 ..... you will have access to the internet for all your social networking needs etc etc etc.

ME:   (Laughing) .... Allyuh givin dat tuh de worse person .....

TSTT:   Why do you say that Wuzdescene ....

ME:   Cuz I goes nowhere .... and if I need internet on my mobile .... I use de wireless in my house .... or any free wireless I pick-up anywhere .... cuz I not on nuttin .... ah not on Facebook .... ah not on Twitter .... ah doh Instagram .... ah doh have no My Space .... ah doh have nuttin .... all ah have is email .... an ah cyah do dat on ah small ass device like ah cell phone .... I am basically a HERMIT still living in the 20th century!

TSTT:   (Laughing now too) .... Ok then .... well you don't have tuh take it then ....

ME:   Yeah .... I eh go use dat .... is bess yuh give it tuh somebody else ....



Now I eh know if was COINCIDENCE .... but right tru dat conversation .... I was jus lappin up de illusion of dem gentle kisses on my ass! ..... cuz please .... jus so .... one day later .... my number get SELECT!

Whatever TSTT .... YUH WIN!

KFC .... take note now .... ah want nuttin less dan ah MONTH OF FREE CHICKEN????!!!

Corbeaux muzbe shit on me yes!!!

KFC still have meh fiery .... and bmobile jus fannin de fire!!!

So some time in January 2013 .... while readin papers ..... ah bounce up ah TSTT ad about dey new rewards program .... called bRewards .... where dey gonna give yuh points fuh spendin yuh money by dem .... and den yuh could redeem said points at various merchants blah, blah, blah ....

   

So .... as a stupidly loyal TSTT customer ..... and as an avid always lookin fuh freeness or perceived fressness Trini .... I jump on de scene .... PRONTO .....

Days later (surprisingly) .... January 21, 2013 .... I get a phone call AND a text message from TSTT .... advising me that my card is ready  .... and that my username is so-an-so and my password is so-an-so .... sweeeeet!
 


But .... ah didn't go an' get it right away ..... ah went about a week later while conductin some errands ....

So I go to Cell Master at Starlite Plaza ..... (which is where I indicated I would like to collect my card) .... to collect my card .... and pay a bill .... and bless-up de card one time .... wit some points .....

I am told that the card is not there ..... and they don't know when they will be getting them ....

About a week after dat .... I go again .... tuh collect my card .... and I am told that dey eh get de cards yet .....

About a week after dat .... I go again .... tuh collect my card .... and I am told that dey get de cards .... but dey cyah 'activate' dem yet .... because dey eh get de whatever from TSTT yet .... and dat hopefully dey will have tings sorted out by next week .....

About a week after dat .... I go again .... tuh collect my card .... and to pay another bill .... and to again try an' bless-up de card wit some points from this next bill payment .....

I am told dey eh get de whatever from TSTT yet .... and dat hopefully dey will have tings sorted out by Monday ....

About a week after dat .... I am in Starlite Plaza .... and I decide tuh jus pop by .... jus tuh see if 'tings sorted out yet' .... and I am curtly dismissed with .... I DOH KNOW WHEN YUH COULD GET YUH CARD!!! .... because ..... of course .... by now .... dem jus fed-up seein an' hearin me!!!

But ....

Yuh know what I fed-up wit ....

@#$*%& PISS POOR SERVICE!!!

So .... yesterday .... while readin papers .... de same stupid bRewards ad (above) jump out at meh .... and instead of waitin til meh next Starlite run (tuh check up on tings) .... ah decide tuh call Cell Master instead .... cuz TSTT say call first right ....

Ah giving yuh ONE guess what de update was ....

Yep .... in a nutshell .... this is what I was told .... "we eh get de ting or de PIN or whatever from TSTT yet ... tuh activate de card and I can't say when we will get it .... and we talk tuh TSTT just yesterday and they couldn't confirm either" .....

So .... today now .... while readin papers ..... another stupid bRewards ad jump out at meh .... an' ah get blue vex .... cuz it jus bring back bad memories of de phone call ah had make  yesterday .... so ah call de number in de ad ..... 800-4400 ....



Well dis call was ah next joke ....

My gyul tell me ..... dat dey eh know nuttin bout dat .... as in .... dey eh know bout any problem wit de cards at Cell Master .... and then proceeds tuh ask me .... why I choose dey tuh collect my card and not TSTT Westmall .... so ah had was tuh tell her .... dat Cell Master is more convenient and .... I DON'T LIKE TSTT WESTMALL!!!!

Anyway .... she take meh name and meh number and tell meh dat de Supervisor will call meh ....

The Supervisor then calls .... apologises .... and tells me I can go collect my card cuz she just put tru de info etc ....

So I tell her dat she tellin me de same ting I hear on January 21, 2013 when I got de first phone call .... so ah ask her what it is make her advice tuh me now .... DIFFERENT or REAL???? .... she then tells me that she sent me the info in a text .... as if tuh say ... DAT IS WHAT makes this new advice REAL!

I eh get de text yet!!!!!!!!!

Anyway .... extremely long story short .... she has arranged for me to go collect my card at TSTT Westmall .....

.... so the saga continues .....

Cuz ah waitin tuh see if dey will credit meh points .... fuh de 3 bills ah done pay over the last few weeks ....

Cuz remember .... my card was supposedly ready since January eh .... so technically .... I suppose tuh get points fuh bills I pay after dat date!!!

And .... hear de nex one .... while I impatiently awaiting my card .... some of dey merchants closin down .... yes .... Catwalk is now no more!! .... so all I studyin is .... who next .... who next go have time close down .... before I get my card??!!



Trinidad and Tobago ....

Is jus too much BS in de land man ....

Yes .... too much BULLSHIT .... AND ..... too much BAD SERVICE!!!!

Doh be telling me fuh ah whole @#$%& month and more .... I DOH KNOW ....

@#$%& FIND OUT!!! .... AND GET TUH KNOW!!!

KFC ... you disgust me!!!

I .... AM .... STILL .... ANGRY!!!

This morning .... while reading papers ..... ah bounce up ah Crime Stoppers ad .... offering ah $50,000 reward .... fuh information regarding de recent firebombing .... of de NP Chairman house .... and .... although the ad is about a very gross act .... I eh shame tuh say .... dat it put some sinister ideas in meh head ....

Now .... as I ALWAYS say on dis here blog .... I don't condone violence .... BUT .... I swear .... life in Trinidad .... can make one think about it .... VERY OFTEN!!

Friday nite .... ah end up in ah lil rehearsals scene by ah fren house .... and as ah reach .... one of de crew start tuh feel lil peckish .... so .... being the only person who wasn't really takin part in de scene .... and the only free/available/eh-doin-nuttin person there .... I willingly volunteered tuh go get fren sumtin tuh eat ....

Fren now .... not wanting tuh put meh too much out of meh way .... decide he will take KFC ..... cuz it was like 1 minute away from where we were ....

So at 8:42 pm .... on Friday, March 1, 2013 .... I left to head to KFC .... and arrived at exactly 8:43 pm .....
 
On driving in tuh de yard .... I noticed a long-ass snake-like line inside .... so I decided tuh go tru de drive-tru instead ....

Well LAWD ..... who sen me .... dat was de biggest mistake I make dat nite!!!

Now de 8 cars ahead of me ..... should have clued me in eh .....  cuz on a 'normal' day in KFC .... it could have ONE customer ahead of you ..... and yuh will still probably take about 20 minutes tuh get what yuh want .... so imagine what happened dat nite .... wit dem 8 cars in front of me .....

45 minutes later ..... I finally reach up tuh de speaker/intercom thingy .... and not a sound ..... no HELLO ..... no good nite KFC wha yuh want .... no nuttin ..... SALT!!!

So right ..... as ah had say before ....

De 8 cars was clue number one .... and .....

De nobody takin yuh order was clue number two ....

But no .... stupid me .... ah refuse tuh inhale de smell of de shit .... and instead of just dashin outta de line .... and cuttin meh losses (as in 45 MINUTES OF MY LIFE that I will NEVER GET BACK!) .... ah decide tuh stay .... cuz ah tell mehself .... ah done ahready jibbin fuh so long .... is bess ah jus wait it out an' get de ting fuh fren .... 

Now ah know yuh might be askin .... so why de arse yuh didn't get outta de line sooner?? .... well ..... in dat KFC .... yuh stuck in de line til yuh reach de speaker/intercom thingy .... yeah .... is only from dat point yuh could take ah left and drive out .... before dat point .... it eh have NOWHERE tuh escape!!!!!

Anyway .... so 5 more minutes after de 45 minutes ..... ah finally get pass de speaker/intercom thingy .... an' ah rounds de corner .... where de actual window is ....

Right .... so there are two cars ahead of me .... ah gold SUV .... an' ah black Sedan .... so phew .... at last .... there seemed tuh be some light at de end of de dark, annoying, painful, frustraing KFC tunnel ......

So gold SUV .... spends about 10 minutes by the window (I kid you not) .... and I'm seeing an exchange of food and condiments and money and receipts etc .... so cool .... one more car tuh go ....

Black Sedan then drives up tuh de window .... and I'm anxiously awaiting my turn .... cuz I'm next ....

But Grrrrrr .... Black Sedan .... waits .... and waits .... and waits .... and waits .... and there's no activity .... no hand wit food stretching out de window .... no hand wit money stretchin towards de window .... nobody talkin tuh nobody ....

Eventually Black Sedan drives away .... and drives out of KFC ....

So stupid me again .... still refusin tuh inhale de smell of de shit .... and instead steps right in it .... I drive up tuh de window and *GASP* ..... there's nobody there .... as a matter of fact .... it eh have NO HUMANS in sight!!!!!!!!!!

So I sit in my car looking through the window like an idiot .... hoping tuh see someone .... and voila .... minutes later (which seemed like hours!) .... joy .... a girl appears .... but *GASP* ..... she not on me .... or de window!!! .... then ..... seconds later .... joy again .... another girl appears .... but *WTF* .... she ignores the window too ..... and disappears .....

Now not believing what is actually happening .... which is .... I am being @#$%& ignored ..... I begin tuh knock on the window tuh get SOMEBODY'S attention .... and the same two girls are passing back and forth .... filling bags and boxes and going along their merry KFC way .... consciously and conscienctiously making an effort tuh not respond tuh my knocking ....

So at this point now .... I AM LIVID ..... I AM BLUE .....

I AM @#$%& STINK!!!

So I drive away from the window .... and instead of just doing the common sense thing .... i.e. tuh just drive tuh @#$%^& out (like Black Sedan) ..... I rounds de corner tuh go an' park instead .... and there I spot a Security Guard standing guard ..... so I ask him wuz de scene ..... and he jus look at me .... wit de most insipid vacant expression .... an' eh say boooooo yet!!!

So I park .... and I call fren .... who by now tort I went tuh ketch and pluck de chicken!

Fren is empathetic ..... he apologises .... and tells me 'doh worry' .... come back .... ah will eat when ah reach home .....

DOH WORRY???!!! .... I STILL STINK!!!!

I immediately start tuh have thoughts of violence .... cuz HELLO .... WTF ..... did Window Cashier get a bout of shittings .... and get stuck in de toilet .... cuz where de flick did he suddenly disappear to .... and WTF .... you want tuh tell me dat one ah dem drive-by bitches couldn't just 'drive-by' de window and say sumtin .... or de Manager .... or de Supervisor ..... where de @#$%^& were they??!! ..... I doh know if KFC staff know this ..... but ..... TIME IS @#$%^& PRECIOUS!!! .... de gross insensitivity .... and inconvenience ..... and stupidity .... dat played off dat nite ..... coulda easily been rectified by some kinda advice .... or notice .... or warning ..... like ah @#$%^& sign or sumtin .... so people woulda know not tuh go in de @#$%^& line in de first place!!!!

FIRE BUN!!!

I done yuh know .... I DONE .... KFC could kiss my finger-lickin-good ass from now on ....

Cuz dat was episode number two yuh know (literally and figuratively) .... yeah .... last week Sunday was episode number one .... in a similar session .... i.e. me goin tuh buy ting fuh people again .... in dat same stinkin KFC!!!

FIRE BUN!!!

KFC .... you disgust me!!!

hAPPy VaLEnTiNe'S dAy!

LOL .... only in Trinidad!


Ah nex DRESS CODE scene ....

So Christmas time .... my parents came tuh Trini .... and one of de items on dey agenda .... was tuh organise dey machine readable passports ..... but ..... yuh know da'is ah ting yuh doh get one time .... so dey had time fly back out ..... and de ting was still processin!

Anyway .... knowing dat .... arrangements were made for ME to collect said passports on their behalf ....

So on day 18 .... that is .... 18 days after de appointment ..... I call Immigration tuh find out if de passports was ready .... and as expected .... they weren't .... turns out it does take 21 days ..... like literally!

So on day 21 .... ah call again .... an' dey tell meh .... ah safe .... de ting ready .... come down tuh dey office on Frederick Street blah, blah, blah ....

So ah call up ah fren .... an' ah tell him come go wit meh .... cuz ah didn't feel fuh no town parkin scenes .... he woulda stay in de car .... while I jus jump out quick ....

So we pull up near Immigration .... I jump out de car .... cross de road .... walk a few feet .... enter de building .... join de line .... make small talk wit ah lady who tell meh she like meh earrings (dat I made ) .... reach up tuh de 'issuing' counter .... ask fuh Mr. Boy (who ah was dealin wit over de phone) .... get sen tuh de next line tuh wait fuh him .... bounce up ah ole colleague .... make some more small talk fuh ah five .... den Mr. Boy come out .... check meh 'authorisation tuh collect' documents .... tell meh ah need tuh give him ah nex copy of meh ID .... an' direct meh tuh some place across de street .... tuh make de nex copy .....

So I say cool .... ah comin back ....

A A .... as I exit de place .... readyin mehself tuh cross de street .... all I hear is ..... EXCUSE ME .... EXCUSE ME .... in ah deep male voice .... so I turn around tuh see if was ME he wanted tuh EXCUSE .... only tuh discover dat it WAS ME he was talkin to .... and dat de HE .... was ah POHLICE!

So ah walk back over tuh him .... wit meh most meek face ah coulda put orn .... and this is how it went:


POHLICE:   You jus come out from there (Immigration Office)?

ME:   Yeah

POHLICE:   Yuh know yuh not allowed in there in what yuh have orn, there's a dress code!

ME:   Oh no, fuh real, I didn't know that, so sorry

POHLICE:   You seein about yuh passport?

ME:   No, I'm just collecting 2 passports and actually Mr. Boy already have all de documents, ah jus need tuh go an' make ah next copy of meh ID fuh him

POHLICE:   Ok then


Phew ..... so ah cross de street .... in haste .... tuh go an' make de copy ..... cuz ah jus want tuh collect dem ting quick an' go home .... when ah suddenly remember dat ah leave meh bag/wallet in de car .... so ah turn around now .... an' ah start tuh head back tuh de car .... when the deep male voice bellows again .... HELLO .... HELLO .....


POHLICE:   Where yuh goin, yuh not goin an' make de copy?

ME:   Yes, I need to go get money in my car

POHLICE:   Ok


Phew ..... so ah get de money .... walk back tuh de photocopy place .... make de copy .... an' cross back de street quick .... tuh handle meh biz quick .... cuz dude .... dah POHLICE an' dress code scene was makin me real antsy .....

But ..... as ah step up on de pavement .... tuh make meh way back inside de Immigration Office .... ah get jumbie again!


POHLICE:   Excuse, come ah minute .... hear what .... tuh make tings easier (on you an' me) .... when yuh go back inside .... yuh see dat chair in de corner .... put orn de jacket on it fuh meh ....

ME:   Ok


Phew ..... so ah gorn back eeeeen de place .... an' ah put orn de jacket as instructed .... kinda under duress .... an' all I studyin is ..... EWWWWWWWW .... cuz who fleckin jacket dat was .... was it de official 'dress code' jacket ..... and how many odda peeps had tuh put it orn too .... and how long it hangin on de back of dat chair .... when last did it get wash??!! .... and EWWWWWW ..... navy blue!!! .... it soooo ruined my outfit!!! .... but .... ah had tuh humble mehself fuh de greater cause ..... which was .... tuh leave dey .... wit dem two passports!

So .... anyway .... after malfunctioning my wardrobe further .... wit de big heavy navy blue jacket .... ah gorn back by de counter .... tuh give Mr. Boy de copy .... and Mr. Boy was now .... Mr. Sour Boy .... cuz apparently while I was across de road makin de copy .... de POHLICE went inside ..... an' fog up de place .... fuh dem allowin me to conduct business in my dress .... yes .... that's what I was wearing .... a long tuh-de-ground black jersey fabric tube dress .... with slippers on meh foot .... two ting dat not allowed!

But .... all's well that end's well .... I got the passports .... and upon leaving .... thanked the "Fashion" POHLICE fuh his "assistance" (an' fuh not ackin ah fool) .... cuz he coulda authoritatively brace my ass .... or ..... make meh go an' buy ah blouse an' ah shoes ..... or .... tell meh come back ah next day!

So peeps .... ah know is Carnival .... and Carnival eh really have no dress code .... but bear in mind that .... some people do!




HOT PANTS?? ..... MUSCLE SHIRTS?? ..... MICRO SKIRTS?? ..... lol ..... dat sign is hilarious!!!!




PS:  Happy Birthday tuh WUZDESCENE .... five years old today!!!! ..... oh and Happy Belated tuh all my fellow January Birthday peeps too

Party people in da house (including Pohlice an Tief)

So I'm thinking ..... what an awesome idea it is .... tuh get bandits and POHLICE ..... tuh party in harmony ..... once an' fuh all ..... at none other than the ...... world famous ZEN nightclub ...... right before the WORLD ENDS on December 21 .....

Cuz GRRRRRRRRR ...... what other @#$%^&* time .... in time .... would such ah dotish concept be considered .... a good idea?????!!!!!

And who de @#$%^& gets tuh go in de VIP section ..... de Pohlice .... or bandits could go dey too????

And who is de special guest artistes .... newly convicted .... Machel Montano (an' frens)?!?

And how does one dress like ah POHLICE unless yuh IS AH POHLICE .....

And where dey come up with dat bandit dress code of ..... ah hoodie .... ah baseball cap .... an' ah bandana ..... in all black??? ..... oh gorm ..... is Christmas .... at least incorporate ah lil green an' red nah!!!

JAH ....

What will they think of next??!!!



New BLOG on da block ....

So while I here .... ketchin my arse wit dis bloggin ting .... it have people now jumpin into de melee ....

And one such person .... is meh boy .... FENSIC .....

Now I doh know who Fensic is .... but I know who he is .... cuz since starting this blog in 2008 .... Fensis is ah man .... who would always touch down .... and put eeeeen he two cents ....

And what a dollar's worth his two cents always is ....

So ..... when he holla tuh tell meh dat he bloggin now .... it was no surprise tuh me .... cuz I knew all along .... dat it was just a matter of time ....

So Fensic boy .... BIG UP ..... and welcome tuh de blogosphere ....

Oh .... an' try yuh bess tuh not be lapsin like me eh .... or else


http://www.trinispeak.com/


Leh we talk DRESS CODE ....

This weekend I encountered some dress code issues .... which got me ah lil stink!!!

Back in de day .... when ah was ah slave in de corporate world .... ah used tuh have ah strict dress code .... ah had tuh comb meh hair .... ah couldn't put no hat on it .... an' ah couldn't dreadlocks it .... ah had tuh wear ah uniform .... ah couldn't wear meh kurta ..... ah had tuh watch meh accessories .... ah couldn't wear nuttin lookin like de jewellery I does make (too outlandish) ..... ah had tuh wear 'proper' shoes .... ah couldn't wear meh comfy sandals .... an' on top ah dat .... ah had tuh speak de Queen's English! .... and altho it was really a work dress code .... it somehow filtered into my personal scene too ....


But ..... from de time I became FREE .... I was like @#$%^&* dat dress code shit!!! .... cuz oh gorm .... fuh heaven's sake .... we livin in de blasted tropics .... on ah bloody island .... in de warm caribbean!

Now I know when yuh dealin with Trinbagonians .... yuh have tuh be very detailed and very specific eh .... or else ..... we is ah people ..... we go just do what we want ..... we go turn up everywhere in ah carnival costume!

But where de heck do we get our DRESS CODE code from though .... cuz ....

Why it is .... once yuh have ah penis .... yuh cyah put yuh hair in hat???? .... de place hottt!!!!!

An' why it is .... once yuh have ah penis ..... yuh cyah wear sleeveless???? .... de place hottt!!!!!

An' why it is .... once yuh have ah penis .... yuh cyah wear slippers in a blasted PAVEMENT BAR??? ..... de place hottt!!!!!

..... and what de heck is OILY CLOTHES ..... who does go out in Oily Clothes???






And WHAT DRESS CODE you could possibly have in effect .... when de poster fuh yuh party lookin like dat????!!!!




Steups .... I does jus wish sometimes .... dat we could have our own ideas .... and our own rules .... tuh suit us .... and not just adopt shit wholesale .... 

Cuz dat hat scene .... does real piss me off bwoy .... every time ah read about ah Republic Bank 'take off yuh hat' episode (today's Newsday) .... or ah see it play off fuh mehself .... or ah go somewhere wit somebody wit ah hat orn .... and dey tell HIM take it off .... it does jus make meh blood boil ....

Anyway .... ah ramblin because ah vex .... ah gorn ....

Go an' eat yuh callaloo and macaroni pie

VAT Free Foolery!

I eh know about you ..... but since de budget ..... I been waitin impatiently fuh tomorrow .... cuz from tomorrow ..... real ting in de grocery suppose tuh be VAT FREE ..... and from what I been seein in de papers .... said real ting is exactly what I does buy ..... down tuh 'fowl' an' all ....

But .... yuh know how de ting does go in Trini .... nuttin does cyah go tru .... without some kinda jumbie or foolishness .... cuz imagine ..... I readin papers dis mornin ..... 
and dem grocery an' dem sayin dat dey eh ready .... cuz dey eh get de 'list' blah, blah, blah .... Grrrrrrrrr???? ..... how long dis ting announce .... how come de list in de papers every day (fuh de past few days) .... an' de groceries cyah get it yet?! .... an' how come de groceries dat apparently get de list (like HILO) .... could understand it and WILL 'for sure' be implementing new prices from tomorrow ...... but other groceries dat get it too .... not understanding it .... different groceries does speak different languages!? ..... den ..... apparently .... list or no list .... some groceries say dat dey have tuh sell off dey ole stock first before re-pricin .....





Ahhhhhhhh ..... so yuh see what goin an' happen from tomorrow .... dependin on where yuh does shop .... yuh will either have a much improved experience .... or ..... will have an experience where much still need tuh improve!

Anyway .... to whom it may concern .... look de lists:











PS:  .... ah know ah late .... but better late dan never .... HAPPY DIVALI to my Hindu peeps!

Things I see ....



I know I know how tuh read and understand .... but tryin tuh read dis shit makes me feel really duh!

What does it mean?




Hmmmmm .... no problems here .....




Tank de Lord ..... dat according tuh HILO .... we will not be celebrating Halloween dis year .... cuz just like grocery shoppin (in HILO) .... I cannot stand Halloween!!!!





Is it an ILLUSION .... or MAGIC .... dat ..... Admission - FREE FREE FREE .... was TWISTED four lines down .... tuh ..... A collection of not less than $25 per person will be collected for Charity at the door???





..... and lawd .... dis ad ..... where do I start ..... is jus too much ..... too much .....

"Please apply only if serious and available"
..... Grrrrrrrrrr???? ..... people does apply fuh jobs fuh kicks????

I cannot believe dat somebody paid tuh put dat shit in de papers!