Hmmm .... not only Jacko was Wacko!?
OK ..... so Michael Jackson had fans all over de world ..... and I guess ...... everybody feelin like dey have tuh do SOMETING ...... tuh pay tribute tuh de man .....
Cuz even right here in Trini ....... ah hear dat Brooklyn Bar in Woodbrook ...... had ah lil wake fuh him ..... and man was moonwalkin on de pavement an' ting ..... drunk! ..... den jus now ..... I on Facebook checkin out de scene fuh Rizon in Woodford Cafe tonite ...... when dat below ketch meh eye ....... so of course ....... all I had tuh see was Michael Jackson face ..... and his name ..... an' ah click on it ......
When de page open up now ..... Grrrrrr???? ....... ah discover dat is fuh a Michael Jackson Memorial ...... yes ...... rite here in Trini ...... and in two convenient locations too ..... Sando and Trincity ...... de event done have ah whole 16 confirmed guests ...... and dey gonna have ah Memorial Book ..... dat yuh could sign ...... dat dey gonna send tuh de Jackson family after?!
LOL ..... gotta love Trinis yes!
Police on bicycles?!
So ...... the Police Service Commission ...... direct de Acting Commissioner of Police ...... tuh submit ah special report ....... on what he intend tuh do ...... about de crazy ass crime situation in Trinidad and Tobago .....
And DAT below is what he come up wit ...... Cops on Bikes .....
Talk about confused! ...... cuz all I was seein while readin dat article ..... is dem jokey E-Bikes dat Ian Atherly (former Sando Mayor) try tuh chain up Trinis wit some time ago .....
Cuz really an' truly ...... what kinda bikes it is ....... dey goin an' give big hard-back Policeman and Policewoman tuh ride around on? ...... ah ten-speed fuh de road? ....... an' ah mountain bike fuh when de bandits run up in de Diego hills?? ...... I'm sorry ..... I jus not visualising Police being any more effective ...... ridin bike in packs or pairs or whatever ...... and on top ah dat ...... which machoman Trini Police ...... dey goin an' get tuh ride bike round de country ...... and worse again ..... while wearin ah short pants?! ..... and den wuz de sense of puttin some ah dem in civilian clothes ..... cuz first tuh begin ..... nobody does ride bike in Trinbago ...... so it go be obvious ..... dat if yuh in town or around ..... an' yuh see two man riding bike (even if dey in plain clothes) ...... dat is POHLICE!!!
Anyway ...... de article say ..... dat dey was suppose tuh be on de road from today ...... and I reach as far as Ariapita Avenue ..... and me eh see none!!
Ahhhhhh ...... I long to be cured ..... I long for this lingering cynicism bug tuh go away ...... it have any tablet ah could take?
Trinis really like SALT yes!!!
Other than the 24/7 news coverage ....... and the many stories splashed across all de newspapers and de internet ...... my sister was also texting me updates (from NY eh!) ...... all kyna jokey ting like ...... "Dey showin MJ videos on VH1 now" ..... and ...... "Do we still have the MJ jackets?" (remember dem jokey outta space lookin red jackets?) ..... but ..... with all that was going on wit me ...... I was way too busy (de past couple days) tuh get caught up in de Michael Mania .....
Today now ..... after all de dust settle ...... ah say leh meh pick up ah papers ...... and try tuh ketch up on dis whole Michael Jackson (and Farrah Fawcett) scene ...... when Grrrrrrr???? ...... ah couldn't believe what ah was seein on de front page ..... how de arse ah TRINIDADIAN come tuh be Michael Jackson Doctor??
JAH! ..... now ah know ..... dat is ah known fact ...... dat TRINIS really like blasted salt eh ..... but oh gorm ...... why it is ..... dat de ONE man dat dey was lookin for ...... fuh questioning ..... in Michael Jackson's death ...... had tuh be ah Trini???
Ah Trini .... who apparently gave Michael Jackson some injection (Demerol) fuh pain ...... which one hour later ....... apparently caused him tuh go into cardiac arrest!!!
And why it is ..... if everyting was really legit wit de man (de Doctor) ...... dat he jus disappear after Michael Jackson died?
Den on de flip side ...... why it is ..... because Michael Jackson's death was kinda sudden ..... and in de presence of his doctor ..... dat it had tuh be because of sumtin fishy involvin his doctor ....... why?? ..... is it because Michael Jackson is Michael Jackson ...... and he not suppose tuh die ..... is it because he was the King of Pop ..... and he was only 50 ..... that is no way ...... that he coulda just die jus so ..... and that his death had tuh be because of de Trini Doctor?
LAWD! .... I real hope ...... dat Mr. Trini Doctor clean fuh tru yes ...... fuh he sake ....... and fuh Trinis sake ...... cuz geeeezan ..... de odda day was swine flu ..... now dis ...... I am so fed up of seein my nationality starrin in dotishness!!!
PS: .... and on a brighter note .... tank de Lord de West Indies win today!!!
WTF Next???
But staying in love ..... is getting harder and harder every day .....
As a female person ..... livin in Trini ..... at some point ...... yuh bound tuh get unsolicited advice ..... on keepin safe ..... wit family, friends and random people tellin yuh ...... what not tuh do ...... and when not tuh do it ..... etc etc ...... and I tink ...... I does get it in double doses ...... cuz besides being female ...... I does move solo plenty ..... yeah ...... cuz when I have tuh go out an' ting ..... me eh have no man pickin me up ..... I drivin mehself ...... so one of the safety tips that I'd always get is ...... if ever ah feel like somebody followin meh while ah drivin home ...... DOH DRIVE HOME ...... jus drive eeeeen de closest Police Station ...... which tuh me ...... seems like sensible advice ...... but wha de ass ...... now yuh cyah even do dat ...... cuz yuh gettin kill right dey in de Police Station too ......
JAH ..... criminals so boldface now ...... dat dey eh even care dat dey killin people ..... right in de Police Station!!!
Yet again .... ah at ah lorse fuh words ...... WTF next ...... when will it end??!
Two suspects dressed in uniforms resembling those worn by police of the
Crime Scene Unit are led into the West End Police Station yesterday.
PHOTO: SHIRLEY BAHADUR
Bread Pans an' all dey tiefin??!!
Anyway ...... gotta run ...... Peace Out!
Bread pans ‘released’ from custody
By SEAN DOUGLAS Wednesday, June 24 2009
AFTER reports of guns missing from police stations and rats eating cocaine held as court exhibits, yesterday came news of a police evidence room being liberated of the unlikely items of six bread pans.
This bizarre disappearance was revealed to the Senate by Minister of National Security Martin Joseph.
His disclosure came in reply to a question from Independent Senator Gail Merhair about what items went missing from police station evidence rooms in a two-year period from January 1, 2007 to March 31, 2009.
Starting to read his list of missing items, Joseph mouthed the first item in deadpan manner of a technocrat making out a shopping list, rather than the goods and tools of criminality.
He non-emotively read, “Twenty-two foil packets containing creamish, rock-like solid...”, then confirmed the gradually-forming picture in listeners’ minds, by adding, “...said to be cocaine”.
Having got listeners’ attention, his list started to get really serious. “One nine millimetre pistol and magazine. One Sig Sauer firearm and magazine. One 16 gauge shotgun. One air rifle...”.
Then it got ridiculous. Although he tried to keep a steady deportment, there was a dip in his own voice as if he himself couldn’t believe the words he next said. “Six bread pans.” Senators didn’t know what to make of that.
He continued, “One gold Almera motor vehicle.”
Joseph said what was being done to correct the situation.
“These matters have all undergone the procedure stipulated by the TT Police Service for dealing with missing items of evidence, and are all currently being investigated by the Anti Corruption Investigation Bureau. In addition, as a result of the disappearance of these items, officers have been transferred pending the outcome of the investigations by the Anti Corruption Investigation Bureau.”
At that, Senate President Danny Montano stepped in quickly to say all the question time was exhausted as it was 2.15 pm, thereby sparing Joseph from any supplemental queries from Opposition Senator Wade Mark about the case of the missing bread pans.
Ah real quick blog tweet ....
Cuz Friday ..... after Caribbean Airlines tie up meh head (in de middle of de West Indies gettin dey arse cut) ...... about 8 o'clock dat same nite ...... ah notice ah leak in meh bathroom ...... actually ...... ah tink it was comin from de toilet tank ..... so of course ..... at dat hour ..... I cyah call no Plumber ...... so first ting de nex mornin (Saturday) ..... ah call dem ..... well SALT eh ..... dey eh reach yet ...... so yuh know what dat mean ...... is attitude in dey tail tomorrow!!!
But ..... leak or no leak ...... Saturday nite ah had tuh go Meiling website launch party ...... which was held at the newly opened Carlton Savannah ..... and WOW ..... it was real hard tuh picture ...... that that is where good ole Pelican used tuh be ...... de place real nice ...... check out de Woman Express ..... fuh ah lil glimpse (Pages 26 and 27) ..... and de Newsday Good Living section (Pages 10 and 11) ..... and oh ...... after de party ..... we went and lime in dey bar on de first floor ..... which is called "INDABA" (pronounced 'in de bar') and which means 'meeting place' ...... clever eh!
Today now (well ... technically yesterday) ..... ah went Fete de la Musique in Boy Scouts ..... LAWD ...... what ah nite ...... what ah nite ..... what ah wonderful nite ..... ah tink ah will talk more about this ...... when ah not so tired ..... yes ...... ah tired ..... cuz ah real play mehself ..... an' ah leave when it done ...... which was about 11:00 pm ..... and look at de hour now ..... and I still up ...... typin!!!
Tomorrow ..... from 8:00 am - 2:00 pm ..... I will not have any electricity ..... yes ...... fuh de whole of Saturday ...... ah car wit loud speakers ...... was driving around de area ..... announcing same ...... and when I doh have current ...... I does doh have no water either ...... and a few days after meh internet went ...... meh UPS went too ...... so when ah say ...... ah eh go have no current ...... ah eh go have NONE! ...... not even de lil extra hour or so dat yuh does get wit de UPS ..... JAH! ...... but ...... while ah jibbin ...... waiting fuh current tuh come back ...... I'll be makin a couple calls ...... startin with meh Travel Agent ..... cuz I real need tuh find out about dat "Going to New York is as easy as 1-2-3-4" stupidness! ..... and de next one ...... is tuh get meh camera ...... yes people ....... my new camera is now in Trinidad ...... it fly eeeen today (well ... technically yesterday) ...... so yuh know ..... I eh lapsin on dat ...... arrangements hadda make ...... tuh collect it soonest ..... cuz yuh know me ..... places tuh go ..... shit tuh see ..... pictures tuh take of said shit!
So laters ..... I out til current come back tomorrow!
Caribbean Airlines .... stop bunnin meh eye!!!
Now it eh no secret dat meh camera mash up ...... cuz ah does talk about it all de time ..... den de odda day ...... de fan in meh laptop conk out ...... den ah need tuh get some supplies ..... fuh some projects dat ah kyna tinkin about embarkin on ...... so ...... some day earlier dis month ...... I dey readin papers ....... an' ah bounce up ah Caribbean Airlines ad ...... advertising NEW YORK fuh $999 ...... ah say WHA ...... da'is my kyna deal ...... ah goin!!
So of course now ...... in true Scene style ...... ah lapse fuh about another week before callin de travel agent ....... well ...... BIG MISTAKE ...... cuz apparently by de time I call ...... de 9 seats dat Caribbean Airlines had at $999 ....... did done lick up ...... Trinidadians like dey went an buy plane ticket jus fuh spite ....... yes ...... cuz my gyul now ....... when I call an' tell her ...... dat I lookin fuh one ah dem $999 ticket tuh NEW YORK ...... she start tuh laugh ..... and de following convo ensued ......
TA: Gyul dem ting sell out long time!
ME: OK .... but ah kyna done make up meh mind .... dat ah want tuh go NEW YORK
tho .... so jus give meh de cost tuh go on flight so-so-so on June 20 ..... and
tuh come back on flight so-so-so on June 29 ....
TA: Hold on eh ....
so while I holding on now ...... I hearing her clickin away on her keyboard .....
when seconds later she comes back on de phone and blurts out ....
7323
ME: not quite understandin the figure .... I now .... I blurt out
WHAT EXACTLY IS DAT????
TA: she now .... soundin lil irritated dat she have tuh repeat herself .....
repeats herself ....
7323!!!!!!!!
ME: Ah know ..... ah hear yuh .... but what exactly is 7323??? ..... is that like
73 US dollars ...... and 23 US cents!!???
cuz I remember ah time dey was advertising NY fuh US$79
TA: in her super irritated voice now ..... she replies
NO!! ..... that is SEVEN THOUSAND, THREE HUNDRED AND
TWENTY-THREE DOLLARS!
ME: well I now .... I want tuh dead .... ah say
Woman ...... you mad .... how it could be $7323 tuh go New York .... dat
not right ..... check again ..... cuz if dat right ..... is bess ah go England!!!
TA: Well .... yuh know .... June is ah real bad month ..... fares are always
higher around dis time ..... but yuh could get at cheaper rate of about three
thousand sumtin (nearly $4000) .... if yuh go so-an-so date ..... on so-an-so
flight ..... and come back so-an-so date ..... blah, blah, blah BS .....
ME: Doh study it sistren ..... my arse go stay in Trini ..... cuz me eh payin none
ah dem rates tuh go New York .....
Anyway ...... so dat was dat ...... but yuh know me ..... dat $7000 was real buggin meh eh ...... so de next day ..... ah logon tuh Caribbean Airlines website ...... jus tuh check fuh mehself ..... fuh meh own peach of mind ...... well HELLO ..... when ah put eeeeen de info ..... de cheapest flight was $5000 sumtin ...... and the exact one I wanted WAS really $7000 sumtin ......
So ...... imagine my surprise ...... and disgust ...... when up tuh weekend gorn ..... dat stupid $999 tuh New York ad was still runnin in de newspapers ..... yes ...... it eh have no blasted seat ...... fuh no blasted $999 anymore ...... but Caribbean Airlines still runnin de ad in de papers ...... bamboozlin people head ..... JAH!!!
Anyway ..... today now ..... mere days after finally gettin over meh vexness (at de bogusness) ..... and resignin mehself tuh de fact ..... dat I eh flyin out no time soon ...... I here chillin ..... watchin ah lil Twenty/20 Cricket (which by de way goin real dismal fuh West Indies!) ..... and what I go see on de TV ..... but ah dotish Caribbean Airlines plane ..... flying across de screen (while man battin eh!) ...... sayin some shit like ..... GOING TO NEW YORK IS AS EASY AS 1234 ...... yes ...... you could believe dem ..... apparently dey runnin ah new special now ...... fuh $1,234 .......
STEUPS!!!
Yuh know ah goin an' call meh Travel Agent bright an' early Monday mornin!!!
PS: Happy Labour Day and say ah prayer fuh de West Indies cricket team!!!
Take care of our Children ....
Cipriani Boulevard, Port of Spain
I no longer read murder news ...... it's just too much ..... and I've also noticed ...... that the newspapers too ..... are no longer splashing the murder toll on their front pages ..... altho ..... if yuh really want tuh find out what it is ..... all yuh need tuh do ...... is watch any of de nightly TV news ..... cuz dey still seem tuh be keepin tabs ..... ah tink de last time ah watch de news ..... de toll was someting like ...... two hundred and sumtin .....
And tho the murder toll is over 200 to date ..... I'd sometimes see Crime Stoppers ads in the papers ..... seeking help on solving specific ones ..... like for the month of May ..... I saw about 4 ..... then this month I saw 2 ..... including one in yesterday's papers ...... which was a bit different ...... cuz it wasn't about a MURDER ...... it was about a 'DISAPPEARANCE' ..... the disappearance of Tecia Henry .....
Now unless yuh eh living here ....... you will no doubt have heard about Tecia Henry ..... the little 10 year old girl from John John ....... who went to a nearby shop ..... tuh buy bread ..... and never returned home ......
Well ...... while Crime Stoppers was puttin out ad in de papers yesterday ...... seeking assistance in solving her disappearance ...... and while de Express ...... and de Newsday ...... and de Guardian ..... was reportin in dey papers today ...... dat de Anti-Kidnappin Squad lookin fuh her ....... de radio was confirmin ....... dat little Tecia Henry was found ...... dead (allegedly strangled) ...... nude ...... and already in a state of decomposition ...... she would have celebrated her 11th birthday tomorrow ......
WHAT DE ASS IT IS REALLY GOIN ORN IN DIS COUNTRY ...... cuz oh gosh man ..... killin ah big hard back man is one ting (not dat ah condonin dat shit) ..... but how yuh could kill an innocent child!?? ..... and where is Leah Lammy???
Ahhhhh ..... from DISAPPEARANCE ...... to MURDER ...... I guess Crime Stoppers will be publishing a new ad soon .... cuz of course ..... this will probably be yet another unsolvable murder!
CRIME STOPPERS ADS FOR MAY AND JUNE 2009
Fake, unsafe SAFETY MATCHES!?
Anyway ..... wit no internet fuh ah whole 7 days ..... ah was able tuh indulge in other forms of nothingness ..... like readin papers ..... and of course ..... as usual ..... it had nuff ting dat ah wanted tuh jump orn here and crap on ...... like COUNTERFEIT MATCHES!!!
Now I know ..... dat somebody muzbe done deal wit dis issue ahready eh ..... but is since Saturday I waiting tuh spew ..... cuz there I was readin papers ...... when ah bounce up ah picture of two box ah 3 plumes matches ..... right next tuh ah whole article ..... about how it have fake matches in circulation ..... dat come out just over 3 months ago! ..... now meh first reaction ..... was a hearty laugh ..... cuz first tuh begin ..... witout even gettin up tuh go eeeen de kitchen ..... tuh check mine ...... I had done smell ah rat ..... cuz from jus lookin at de picture (below) ...... de counterfeit one is de one I recognised ..... it was very familiar ..... it was as tho I had seen it in my cupboard before ..... den de next ting I just couldn't understand ...... is why anybody would chose MATCHES of all things .... tuh COUNTERFEIT!!! ...... how much profit it really have in dat ...... why dey didn't jus counterfeit some money instead ...... if is fake ting dey into ...... cuz dey coulda easily use de red ink (dat dey use fuh de 3 plumes) ..... tuh make $1 bills .... and den who exactly discovered this travesty!!??
Dis pic is from de Guardian ..... de one wit de tick is de real shit ...... and
de one wit de X is de fake shit ..... altho I find dat de fake shit better
lookin dan de real shit ..... look how ugly de legit box is!
Anyway ..... so dat was Saturday ..... A A ...... de next day now (i.e. Sunday) ....... I gorn tuh make some scramble egg ...... and when ah turn de knob ..... tuh light de burner ...... SALT ....... no fire ..... but I eh dig nuttin ...... ah say muzbe de pilot light thingy gorn tru ...... so ah pull out meh matches ...... 3 plumes of course (cuz like it eh have no odda brand of matches in Trini) ..... and the horror ...... you know I was right ..... I was in fact in possession of said counterfeit matches ...... but how could that be I thought ...... cuz dem matches dey about 2 years now ...... and de newspaper report say dat dey jus come out only bout 3 months ago!
Suddenly I began to see the light ...... cuz over the years ..... I just knew that something was different with those boxes of matches ...... the box was just too yellow ...... the 3 plumes was just too red ...... even de sulphur head on de matches was also a lil too red (and not the dark brown I'd grown accustomed to) ...... then there was the scratchpad ...... which would never seem tuh wear down ..... and would often cause the match to ignite whenever I scratched it ..... and that pungent sulphur smell whenever I struck ah match ...... ewwwww ...... and the afterglow ..... ah yes ..... the afterglow of successfully lighting a match ..... ooops ..... ah mean de hazardous kinda afterglow ..... oh ..... and that menacing single border ...... and the address ...... I shoulda known that that 69 Independence Square was bogus ..... and that the real address is really 11 Maraval Road ...... cuz I do read the addresses on all the products I buy ...... so I'm supposed tuh know where shit is made in TnT! ..... and ..... in case yuh didn't pick up on my idiocy ...... what ah tryin tuh say is ...... who de arse woulda really know dat de matches fake ..... cuz dey workin jus like de real ting ...... I never had ah problem wit dem ......
Now ah know allyuh muzbe doh believe dat ah really have de fake ones eh ..... especially since de Express say dat dey went lookin fuh dem ..... and dey cyah find none! ...... so jus tuh prove dat dem ting around long time ...... ah pull out meh 4 remainin boxes (cuz yuh know dey does come in ah 10 pack - ah tink) ...... ah trow dem in meh handbag ..... an' ah jump in meh car ...... tuh head tuh meh fren house ...... tuh use her camera ..... tuh take pics ..... as evidence (fuh both you and de Express) ...... only tuh discover a bigger horror when ah reach her house ...... she had dem too ..... but de big-ass box ...... yes ..... and if I feel I have mine about 2 years ..... den she say she have hers about 4 years ...... yuh see ..... is years dem counterfeit matches lightin up people life in Trini ...... not no 3 months!!! ..... tuh tell yuh de trute ..... I doh tink I ever see de real ting!
De big maco box dat lookin like is more like 6 years old (and not 4)
is meh fren own ...... and de 4 small ones is mine .....
But ..... now that I been clued in ..... I will proceed with caution ..... cuz I eh trowin way mine ..... cuz as far as I see ...... nuttin eh wrong with dem ....... ANSA Mc Al jus vex dat dey get punked da'is all ....... and rightly so ..... altho I think they shoulda be happy dat somebody thought their matches was worthy of piratin ..... anyway kudos tuh Ansa Mc Al's Group Corporate Communications Manager ..... Mrs. Nicole Dyer-Griffith ..... fuh shedding the light so eloquently and expeditiously .... on this very risky and potentially dangerous situation ..... twas very characteristic of a former Miss Trinidad and Tobago ...... and of the spouse of an equally eloquent human ....... Captain Gary Griffith ..... yes ...... that humble man who put out an ad in the newspaper ..... to pat himself on the back ..... fuh gettin de security contract fuh de West Indies team in de current Twenty/20 Tournament ...... STEUPS ...... anyway ...... I gorn ..... leh meh save some shit fuh another day ......
PS: ...... an' talkin bout cricket ..... what a match dat was against England ..... poor England!
No Internet ....
De same day dat Shel Shok passed away
So altho ah woulda normally vent like ah idiot
Dat particular day was not de right time tuh do dat
(Besides ... ah didn't have no blasted internet tuh logon and rant anyway!!!)
Today however is bloody Friday
Ah whole 3 days later and still no !#$%@& TSTT
Cuz of course Raj from India couldn't solve jack shit
So he had tuh log de report fuh a Tech tuh come fix it
And yuh done know I like ah internet piper
So when ah hear dat .... ah bawl out ....
"Raj, dat could take ah whole year ....
call de slumdog millionaire, he go know de answer!"
Anyway 3 - 4 days Raj say it will take
And unfortunately dat period included ah holiday
So now I gripe and impatiently wait til Monday
and hope that that is de precious number 3 day
THE END
Another one gone .... too soon!
...... and tho we weren't close warm personal friends ..... it was the saddest news .......
Sheldon Benjamin
I met Shel Shok (which IS what I called him - I don't think I ever called him by his real name) in the early nineties ..... and over the years ..... we'd always hail out each other ..... and sometimes stop tuh chat ...... and sometimes even buss ah lil small wine in party (which was kinda jokey cuz he's twice my height) ..... so when ...... about a month ago ...... a friend mentioned to me that he was ill ...... and that they were planning a fund raiser for him ..... supporting it was a no-brainer ......
The fund raiser was held at Zen ..... just two days ago ...... an' yuh know ..... I was well plannin tuh write about it today ...... cuz ah say is such ah long time ah eh vibes de scene ...... and de show was so good ...... dat ah really wanted tuh big it up lil bit .......
But now ..... I real lorse fuh words ...... so ...... all I'll say ...... is dat Shok was one seriously talented producer ..... cuz if is one ting dat he will be remembered for ...... is all dem bad-ass songs dat he produce over de years ....... cuz watch meh ...... his music ..... and his music alone ..... mash up de dance in Zen Sunday nite .....
Anyway ...... meh internet eh workin ...... AGAIN ..... is meh fren own ah usin ....... so ah gorn ......
Shok boy ..... Rest in Peace brother ......
Crap on Cars ... Part 1
...... anyway ...... in de course of de cleanin up ..... ah bounce up ah whole folder wit ah setta pictures of cars ...... yes ..... I clean forget dat I was collectin pictures of cars ...... pics of cars on crap (i.e. people doin foolishness on de road) ..... and pics of crap on cars (i.e. cars wit real shit stick up dem) .....
Now I doh know about you ...... but I cyah fuh de life of me understand ...... how yuh could spend thousand of dollars on ah car ..... and den go and deface it ...... wit shit like stickers and misspelt words and nonsensical quotes ...... I remember ah time ..... I went tuh tint de windows on my car ...... and when dey done ...... de dotish people put dey blasted company sticker on my windscreen ...... WHY ..... Iz not no driving advertisement fuh you ..... I was blue! ...... another time too ...... I take my car tuh gas de AC ..... and de same shit happen ...... de company put dey company sticker on my car ...... again ..... without askin ...... WHY ...... I doh know ..... I muzbe really too anal yes ..... cuz dat is one trend dat I will never comprehend!
Now is way too many pics tuh post in ah one ..... so ah had tuh ration dem ...... half today ..... half ah nex day (starrin Maxis) ...... and trust me ...... de second half is just as bad eh ...... but you tell me ...... look at some ah dem tings ...... an' tell me what de arse it is some ah dem really mean?!
NO. 1 - Dis is ah blast from de past ....... but ah just had tuh bring it back .....
fuh obvious reasons ......
NO. 2 - Is that the famous 'this is your brain on drugs' egg ...... cuz what else
could a splattered sunny-side up egg on de back glass of yuh car symbolise?
NO. 3 - As far as I see ...... Things NOT looking up ..... wud up wit de word
'Things' ..... like it eatin away ..... and WTF dat really mean?
NO. 4 - Why in heaven's name would you want to drive around in a car
with fake bullet holes on it ...... when yuh could easily get de real ting?
NO. 5 - Okey Dokey!
NO. 6 - Why Bad Vibes ..... why not Good Vibes ..... and why on de windscreen .....
cuz every time he jump eeeeen he car ..... he go hadda drive wit ah back-tuh-front
'Bad Vibes' facin him ..... this one is just beyond analysis!
NO. 7 - Awwww ..... look at dat ...... Truly Blessed and Bless ..... drivin alongside
each other ...... too cute .... dey muzbe brothers!
NO. 8 - Yuh tink dey ran out of letters ..... cuz what does God + Faith + Courage = ???
...... Nothing? ...... Blackness? ..... what?
NO. 9 - Lawd ...... Mr. PBP ...... is GRATEFUL ...... ah eh able nah ...... dis
one took meh straight back tuh 'hooked on phonics' .....
NO. 10 - Completely unnecessary ..... and not tuh mention ..... completely
unattractive too .....
NO. 11 - LOL ..... jus plain ole Progress yes ..... dis one had tuh be ah tribute tuh
dat bad ass song by King Austin .....
NO. 12 - Ultimate??? .... (Note de ultimate in idiocy on de shoulder)
NO. 13 - Yes we know ..... and thanks for giving us a gentle reminder every time
we're stuck in traffic behind you!
NO. 14 - I not even gonna try tuh understand this one ...... I lorse!
NO. 15 - Wicked People ...... they're everywhere now ..... so why put dat shit
on yuh car too?
NO. 16 - Black ..... AND ..... Gifted ..... you go brutha!
NO. 17 - These ones does get meh ..... cuz I feel ....... dat people does feel .....
dat if dey put God ting on dey car ..... dat God go like dem ..... an' he go protect
dem from harm on de road ..... yes ..... dese does be tryin tuh tief God head!
NO. 18 - After God? ...... too bad de car wasn't 'After God' too ......
NO. 19 - This is precisely the point I've been trying to make throughout this
entire post ..... WHAT?
NO. 20 - An' oh gorm ...... last and best ...... look at patriotism nah ..... dis is my
favourite 'crap on cars' pic ...... cuz dis ah could understand ...... it like ah driving
flag ...... an' yuh know ah like meh red, black and white ..... but dat said ...... I still
wasn't doin DAT shit tuh MY car tho!
PS: ..... ah cyah wait fuh de Eminem backlash ..... from last night's MTV Movie Awards ..... I real laugh ..... oh ..... and checkout Afro Chic fuh yuh 'I am Legend II' review .... ah so mad ah didn't go eh!
In de newspapers today ....
...... buh wait ..... talkin about camera ...... I forget tuh give allyuh de joke ..... some day last week ..... I went wit my farse self ...... tuh see if by chance ..... meh camera could fix (while ah waitin on ah new one) ..... well who sen me ...... from de time dey see de camera ..... ah get brace ..... de gyul say ...... 'hold on, leh meh call de fix-it man tuh see if it make sense tuh submit dis fuh repairs" ..... so I eh dig nuttin ...... ah say cool ..... cuz really an' truly is jus ah estimate ah wanted (tuh determine de feasibility) ...... so ah stan up dere ...... watchin de gyul on de phone ....... keenly observin her body language ..... tuh try an' predict de verdict ...... when click ..... she hang up ...... an' she slowly start tuh walk over tuh meh ..... wit de most solemn look on her face ..... well yuh know what dat meant ...... she say ...... 'Miss, he say he eh have no parts fuh dis model' ...... in other words ...... trow dat shit way! ...... but ...... to date ...... de sentimental, dotish me ...... still have said camera in meh handbag ..... like as tho it could serve any useful purpose still ...... ah jus cyah bring mehself tuh dump it ..... too many wonderful things were captured wit dat camera ..... like that lovely(ish) hen below .....
Oh how I long to be able to capture beauty like that again ......
Anyway ....... sniff, sniff, wipe, wipe ....... since ah eh have no camera tuh take no pics tuh post ...... ah hadda resort tuh de nex best ting ..... i.e. scannin ting from de papers (and crappin on it) ......
WARNING: The following is some seriously idle shit eh!
ARTICLES WORTHY OF MENTION
I swear Nikita Braxton must thoroughly enjoy her job ...... cuz de kinda wack shit she does have tuh report on (remember de stolen dog shampoo?) .... and why did dey have tuh destroy de biscuits? ..... dey couldn't give it tuh a vagrant or sumtin?
Cheese again??!!!! ..... what it is so wit cheese ..... dat have people tryin tuh tief it from everywhere ..... first was from ah grocery ..... now ah whole Container!!! ...... and de nex ting ..... let's say dey had get tru ..... what it is dey was plannin tuh do wit ONE MILLION DOLLARS worth in cheese ..... eat it ..... open ah Pizzeria ..... sell it ..... wha???? ..... cuz who go really buy cheese on de street ..... and it was obvious dat de thieves woulda get away from de Police (da'is standard) ..... so why was dat even included in de article ..... but seriously tho ..... ah wonder what gonna happen tuh de cheese dat dey recover .... yuh tink it will be destroyed (like de biscuits) ..... or will it end up in HILO ..... and den in my grocery cart?
I am always intrigued by people's explanations ..... for their crazy actions ..... when dey have tuh face ah Magistrate ...... his is ...... the reason he jus pick up a stone and pelt it at a glass door (at de Sando General Hospital) .... is cuz he's a diabetic ..... and when a seizure take him .... he does doh know what goin orn ..... alrighty then!
CLASSIFIEDS (DE TYPO AND WACKO SECTION)
..... are they trying to say 'CHARLIEVILLE'?
Yuh know dat club eh legit right ...... da'is pirate shit .....
WHAT???
EH???
Grrrrrrrr???
..... and how exactly does one prove that one is a VEGETARIAN (in order to secure the above executive home) ..... does one provide an executive shit sample ......
OTHER NOTEWORTHY ADS
EighteenTH!! ...... ParentS!! ....... BrotherS!! ....... oh gosh man ..... if yuh gonna put ah birthday greetin in de papers fuh de whole world tuh see ..... at least make sure it correck nah!!!!
I love balloons ....... so I was immediately attracted to this pic ..... only to discover that the child passed away two years ago ..... and he would have been 18 this year ..... why do people do this ...... am I missing something here?
Whheeeyyy ...... de Ministry of Health real gettin orn boy ..... dey have ah WEBSITE ...... dey on ..... YOUTUBE ..... FACEBOOK ...... TWITTER ...... AND ...... dey have EMAIL ...... AND ...... a HOTLINE ...... WOW ...... jus goes tuh show dat sometimes ...... technology doh improve jack shit eh (or rather 'jerry' shit) .....
PS: ..... fuh real tho ...... remember tuh cover yuh coughs and sneezes ...... and not wit yuh hand eh ..... but wit de inside of yuh elbow .....
Ah Trini .... Driving Her Majesty?!
Everybody know by now ...... dat de price of newspapers went up right ...... yep ...... from $1.00 ...... tuh ah whole $2.00!!
Now when ah had first hear dat ...... ah real bawl eh ...... ah was in ah lil quandary ...... cuz I cyah afford 3 papers ..... every day ...... fuh 12 months ...... at $2.00 each (and $3.00 on de weekends) ...... and I need my papers ...... I (wuzdescene) cyah survive without papers!! ....... anyway ....... at de time ...... lucky fuh me ...... none ah meh subscriptions was due fuh renewal yet ..... but that was then ...... and now de first renewal fast approachin (in about two months time) ..... so of course ..... in de back ah meh mind ..... all now so ...... I was done startin tuh study ...... which one tuh drop (cuz at $2.00 one ah dem go hadda go) ......
UNTIL .....
De Newsday went and put God out dey thoughts (like ah Atheist) ...... and fire Kevin Baldeosingh (who is ah well known Atheist) ....... fuh outin ah Roman Catholic Priest (a man who is no Atheist) ....... yes ...... you could believe dat?! ...... anyway ...... da'is ah whole odda more complex story ...... de point ah was tryin tuh make is ...... dat de Newsday ...... wit dat one dotish action ...... suddenly made my decision real easy ...... come renewal time ...... was tuh arse wit dem ..... an' ah woulda jus keep de Express and de Guardian full time .....
UNTIL ......
Ah open up meh Newsday dis mornin ..... and discover ...... dat de Queen ...... yes The Queen of England ..... have ah Trini Chauffeur ...... Eh??? 
Well yuh know ah start tuh tink it over one time (meh Newsday decision that is) ...... cuz seriously ..... I cyah blank de Newsday again ..... wit important news stories like dat ...... is no way I could say nay! ..... cuz no other newspaper cover this story yuh know ..... so let's say ah had done brace dem ...... how would I have known that Trickidadians are still thriving around the world ...... how would I have known that the Queen have six Chauffeurs ..... of which ...... de Trini one had tuh be de idiot ..... how would I have known dat sometimes she does tell dem tuh take ah hike .... and she does drive sheself ...... how would I have known ...... that even if you live in England ...... and you work for the Queen ..... and you're spoken to in the Queen's English ..... that that does not in any way influence how YOU speak ..... de man tell de reporters "These is" ....... LOL ...... he tell dem dat de pay eh too good ...... and if dey want ...... he doh mind moonlightin fuh dem under ah kinda PH vibes ...... Lawd! ..... why it is dis man went tuh England wit he Trini quick money mentality and embarrass we ...... why it is he went and put all de Queen business out on de street ...... why? ....... instead of de man ..... pickin up ah lil english book ..... and tryin tuh learn tuh speak properly ...... so he could work he way up tuh Head Chauffeur ...... so he could make more money ...... he lookin tuh sellout de Queen fuh small money ...... and den wastin said small money ..... hookin-up wit Hookers and callin dem he gyul ..... like if he's flickin Richard Gere in Pretty Woman!
Ahhhh ...... to quote a friend of mine ...... "he's ah ass or ah marble?" ...... was it really worth the 1,000 pounds?! ..... and are we going to need Visas tuh go England now?
But ...... on another note ...... the dilemma persists ....... which newspaper(s) do I really keep ...... cuz at de end of de day ....... all ah dem does do and say some shit at some point anyway!
PS: ...... ah hope de President vacation was good yes ..... cuz yuh know what dey say ..... after joy is sorrow!
The sweetness of sound ....
I hear things .....
I hear birds singing ...... I hear insects chirping ...... I hear dogs barking ...... I sometimes hear horses neighing ...... I hear the wind blowing ..... I hear trees swaying ..... I hear rain falling ..... I hear the Blimp buzzing (steups) ..... I hear Helicopters hovering (steups) ..... I hear my neighbour hawking (still!!) ..... I hear music playing ...... I hear doors slamming ....... I hear cars passing ...... I hear horns tooting ...... I hear sirens screaming ...... I hear alarms bellowing ...... I hear lawnmowers mowing ...... and weed wacker wacking ...... I hear workmen (next door) pounding and drilling and sawing (steups) ...... I hear TVs running ...... I hear phones ringing ..... I hear people talking ...... I hear some quarreling ...... I hear the church choir praising ...... and I heard Adam Lambert (my American Idol) sing his heart out three nights ago ......
I hear things ......
because I can hear ......
That fateful year ..... when I freed myself (from my 8-4) ...... to become a 'free spirit' ..... little did I know ...... that I would become so irritated ....... by the sounds of life!!! ...... I realised ..... that I had grown so accustomed tuh the relative quiet ...... of office life ..... that living with noise ...... was unbearable ...... but today ..... the day before my friend ...... goes in for surgery ...... to hopefully finally restore her hearing (cuz she's tried other things) ...... I am grateful ...... grateful that I am able to hear ...... the same things ...... that once peeved me so ......
My friend ...... a beautiful young soul (in her 30s) ...... lost hearing in one ear (some time last year) ..... then sadly ..... she lost hearing in the other ear (earlier this year) ...... she's been hanging in there ..... and has even learned to read lips ..... she now resorts to email and text messages to communicate ..... and everyday things ..... that we take for granted (like driving) ..... are not on her agenda anymore!
She was one of the friends I had to pick up for Brian Lara's 40th Birthday Bash ..... and tho she was excited tuh buss de lime ..... she was still ah lil apprehensive ..... cuz believe it or not ..... altho she's well known ...... in dis here land of many macos ...... it have real people who still doh know ...... so going out for her ...... can sometimes be very awkward ...... as people would come up to her ...... and start talking to her like normal ...... but if she's not looking directly at them ..... she doesn't even know that they're talking to her ..... then sometimes when she responds ..... it's either too loud or too soft! ...... while we were driving to the function ..... 'Neva Believe U' (by Mavado) started tuh play on de radio ..... an' I start tuh 'back it up' ..... so she could have seen that SOMETHING was groovin me ..... and she reached out to me ..... and asked what song I was dancing to ...... and only then it dawned on me ..... that that too was gorn from her life ..... music ...... a thing I absolutely love!!! ..... I was touched ...... I really can't imagine what it must be like ..... to hear ...... all your life ..... and then one day ...... to not!
Tomorrow is the Surgery ..... and Sunday is her birthday ...... I wish her all the best on both ...... and will most definitely say a prayer for her too.
Crime ... Comedy ... and the thin line ...
Whhheeeeyyyy ...... you see de price ah dat cheese ...... and dat dog shampoo??!!
Now story number 1 say dat ...... ah man of no fixed address (ah vagrant?) ...... make ah jail ...... after he was charged wit attemptin tuh steal 4 blocks of cheese from his employer ..... because said employer refuse tuh pay him he pay ......
Now I doh know what tuh make of dis story .... cuz if you put down ah hard day's work ...... why it is yuh employer would jus refuse tuh pay yuh jus so (cuz yuh's ah vagrant?) ..... den ...... wuz up wit de cheese ..... why ...... outta everyting in Savers Choice Supermarket ..... he choose cheese tuh tief ...... hmmmm ..... unless ...... maybe Mr. Cheese Man is ah lil 'hip-hop'..... cuz yuh know in de hip-hop world dey does call money 'cheddar' ..... so I doh know ...... maybe Mr. Man ...... tell heself ...... dat inasmuch as dey eh want tuh give him he "cheddar" ...... he go jus improvise with some real Cheddar ..... den ..... de next jumbie in de story ..... de ANCHOR ..... de man eh look tuh tief no regular cheddar cheese yuh know ...... de man went straight tuh de top ..... Anchor Cheddar Cheese ..... ah yes ..... ah guess if yuh gonna tief ..... it make sense tuh raff de expensive stuff ..... LOL!
Den story number 2 say dat ...... ah man get fined ...... ah whole $1000 ..... fuh tiefin ah bottle of dog shampoo (Magic Coat Fresh Essence Shampoo) ..... dat cost ah whopping $58.79 ...... apparently de man went tuh de grocery ...... and upon entering ...... didn't bother tuh take no grocery cart or basket ...... so he end up holdin ah setta ting in he hand ...... and when he couldn't hold no more ..... he decide tuh put ting in he pocket ...... like de bottle of shampoo ...... den ...... in de hecticness of de grocery shoppin ...... he clean forget dat he put de shampoo in he pocket ..... and BAM ...... he geh hole ..... jus so!
Oh lawd ..... LMAO ...... de Judge slap de man wit ah 60 days hard labour ...... an' tell him that that should 'jog his memory' ......
Now my fascination wit dis story ...... is not de obvious eh ...... is de fact that that dog shampoo ...... more expensive dan de shampoo I does use ...... wuz dah scene ...... what it have in dat dog shampoo so dat could make it cost ah whole nearly $60 ...... is it dat is ah shampoo and conditioner in one ...... wha??? ...... den de nex ting ...... fuh my boy tuh try tuh tief someting in de first place ...... means he was lil low on funds right ...... so da'is what you go tief ...... dog shampoo ...... not even ah lil food ...... like ah lil block ah cheese or sumtin ....... dog shampoo??!! ...... but den again ...... ah guess wit dat wack price tag (jus like de cheese) ...... it was more feasible tuh tief that ...... than say ah bread!!!
..... so now ..... is ah whole $1000 ..... da he outta pocket ..... fuh gettin ketch ...... fuh puttin ting in he pocket ..... an' as fuh de dog ..... well ..... so much fuh he magic coat and fresh essence!!!
PS: ...... after months of searching the length and breadth of Trinidad ..... I finally found my cute little Lasko Breeze Machine ..... tank de Lord ...... no more mosquito battles fuh me ...... ah sleep like a baby!
What is de point? ... Part 2
Over de past year ...... Trinis was real talkin about de new Interchange ..... of course in anticipation of good tings tuh come ..... I an' all even talk about it ..... cuz in de earlies ..... ah was jus lovin dat 'HELLO TRINIDAD' ......
So ..... now it done (well kinda) ...... and de discussions ragin orn still ....... cuz now de big questions are ....... was it worth it ..... is there less stress ..... has the traffic situation improved ..... IS IT WUKIN??
Now I livin in de West ...... and I seldom have reason tuh go South or Central ..... so I personally cyah say if it workin ...... but ..... outta macociousness ..... de odda day ..... ah start tuh conduct meh own lil small survey ...... only tuh discover ..... that it was totally not necessary ...... cuz ...... NIDCO done do it ahready ...... yes ...... according to the 8 real people ...... in the NIDCO ads below ...... the answer is a resounding YES ...... apparently de stress ...... is less ...... and I say 'real people' ...... cuz they really are who they say they are ..... and I know this ..... cuz I know one of them ..... so is not like NIDCO went an' hire models (or actors) tuh jus say shit!
PS: .... but on another note ..... no wonder people pullin aside on de shoulder and limin and usin it as ah lookout ..... and more recently ..... as a lovers' lane ..... de ting nearly de same width as de road itself ..... and what's up wit my flag ...... is that a permanent fixture?
So let's see what we have here ..... so far we've heard from ...... a Mother-to-be ....... an Equipment Rentals ....... a Driver ...... a Trucker ...... a whole Family ...... another Driver ...... a Motorcyclist ...... and a Maxi Taxi Driver ...... but ...... WHAT IS DE POINT of the ads really ...... cuz even as real people ..... who does really travel on de Interchange ..... are they credible ..... cuz at de end of day ...... if I gettin paid tuh say shit ..... an' is nuff paper NIDCO offerin ...... I WILL say de shit (and get paid) ...... or ...... even if I weren't getting paid ..... and was just invited to do an ad (as a real person who does really use de Interchange) ...... still ....... WHAT IS DE POINT of de ad ...... who dey for ..... cuz yes people want tuh know if it workin ..... but dey eh want tuh find out from ah biased ad put out by the company dat was overseein de project ...... as far as I see ..... dis is ah simple case of more money wastin (like de texting of SEA results) ...... or is it ah kinda 'pat yuhself on de back' scene ..... ah kyna big-up tuh de Gov't ..... or maybe is tuh convince us (de public) dat money was well spent ..... or is it tuh make people like me feel more comfortable about goin' South or Central ...... I jus doh get it ..... and de ads runnin fuh about two weeks now eh ..... dey even in de papers today ..... all ah dem ...... in all de papers ...... in ah kyna full-page consolidated ad ...... WHAT IS DE POINT?!
PS: .... look jus last nite ah bounce up ah crew from Chaguanas ..... so of course in de course of 'small talk ' ...... ah had tuh ask about de Interchange ..... an' all ah dem say ...... dat not one ass change! 
..... and where are de testimonials from other real people like ..... de Bobo Shanti Nutsmen ...... and de steering wheel covers Vendor ...... and de Hot Peppers Vendor ...... and de Kite Vendor ..... and de Drinks men!?
Anyway ..... tho I see absolutely no point in those ads ...... I still glad fuh anyting dat suppose tuh improve people life in sweet TnT ..... an' ah real glad ..... dat at least some people tink it workin ..... and appreciatin it ..... and actually benefittin from it ..... so ah lookin forward tuh de completion ..... of de rest ...... cuz dat could only bring further improvement. 
What is de point? ... Part 1
What is de real point of texting SEA results tuh students?? ..... who it is ..... pass dey Common Entrance ..... went tuh school fuh many more years ..... get dey degree .... and come up wit dat dotish harebrain idea?! ...... what parent goin an' sit down til 2:00 pm ..... waitin on ah text message ..... about dey chile future ..... ah text message dat we all know ...... may either never reach ..... or reach 2:00 am instead ...... cuz we all know dat bMobile does @#$%&-up when de system overloaded (doh know bout Digicel) ...... WHAT IS DE POINT??? .... who benefits from dis??!! ...... as far as I see ...... is only TSTT or Digicel go benefit ..... wit da $70,000 dey lookin tuh put out ......
STEUPS ..... I real couldn't believe dis one yuh know ..... instead of dem makin sure dat de fees paid ...... fuh de chirren an' dem tuh do dey GCE ..... dey studyin tuh send useless text messages ..... STEUPS!!!!
Ah wasn't goin tuh say nuttin eh ..... den after ah read today's Newsday Editorial ...... ah realise dat ah really didn't have tuh say nuttin ..... cuz dey hit de nail on de head! ...... I couldn't have said it any better!!
Two Things ....
Happy Belated Mother's Day ..... tuh all de mummies who read me
...... and as ah on de topic of Mother's Day ..... look one dat eh 'Bye Pass' meh (oooooops ah mean 'bypass') ...... cuz first tuh begin ..... what is ah Bye Pass ...... is dat like ah Bus Pass dat yuh does use tuh say BYE ...... and what de rass is de name of dat restaurant ...... Rising Star Restaurant Grill & Lounge Authentic Chinese?! ....... and what de heck is Alacat Dining???? ...... is that Alacat ..... as opposed tuh authentic chinese Aladog?!
Next ting .....
Why pray tell ...... would the powers dat be ..... put the most cruicial do-or-die World Cup Qualifier ..... tuh play in TOBAGO?! ..... and doh get meh wrong eh .... is not dat ah have anyting against Tobago ...... is jus dat ..... logic would dictate ..... dat such ah big match .... would be held in ah BIG venue ..... and not ah venue dat could only hold about 7500 people ......dis match woulda been ah sure money-maker ..... cuz obviously EVERYBODY want tuh go ..... I hear it sell out ahready (duh - surprise - cuz is ah small-ass venue!) ..... and how come dem covered is only $400 ...... and when it in Trinidad is bout $600 ..... and what's up wit de NO LIVE TV BROADCAST .... wham tuh we in Trini??????
Anyway ..... ah hear it playin in Tobago ..... cuz dey plannin some tribute tuh Dwight Yorke ..... huh? ..... couldn't dey 'tribute' him some odda time?!
Where NO AD has gone before ....
De odda day I readin papers ..... so of course yuh know ..... yuh mus see ah bMobile ad ...... an' ah Digicel ad right next tuh it?!
Now I am ah bMobile tuh de bone (altho meh calls always blasted droppin) ....... ah never went an' get ah Digicel phone (even when dey was sellin dem fuh $25) ...... so doh ask meh why ah does read Digicel ads ...... I just do ..... and tho over the years ...... Digicel ads never impressed me ..... cuz somehow dey always used tuh come across as de red version of bMobile ads ...... ah have tuh say ...... dey latest one ....... blow meh away!
So there I was ...... reading de ad ...... and from de text at de top ..... it look like it was supposed tuh play off like ah kinda 'play' ...... a play called '$1000 Free Talk' ...... so wit such ah WOW title ...... ah continue readin (cuz bMobile eh have nuttin like dat) ...... so ah see it have ah boy name BRAD ..... who is the star of the play ..... and who is EVERYONE'S #1 pick (fuh de 'free talk' scene) ...... wit Conchita on de left callin him ...... tuh tell him dat HE is her #1 pick ..... then right below ...... Brittney call him too .... tuh say that she chose HIM fuh her free talk ...... then tuh de right ...... what I go see ...... but de most left comment ...... comin from de mout of de most ital cast member ..... yes ..... Rasta Man call Brad too ..... tuh tell him dat HE is his 'little #1' too ....... Grrrrrrrrr?????
Now at first ..... ah tort ah was readin it chupid eh ..... cuz yuh know me ..... I always readin ting dotish ...... ah say maybe Brad is Rasta Man 'brother' ...... cuz he COULD really pass fuh Rasta Man lil brother ...... but den ah make out de pink, blue and green 'OMG' ...... and de 'BBRAD' ...... an' ah say NAH ..... dat eh no brother or bredren scene ....... dat is ah plain as day ...... homosexual scene!
Days later now ...... after still not believin dat is really ah homosexual scene ...... ah bounce up de ad on TV ...... and HELLO ....... all doubt was immediately erased ...... Rasta Man WAS really on Brad ...... Rasta Man WAS really gay!
Shock ...... was my initial reaction at dat confirmation ...... cuz dat Digicel ad have tuh be de first outright gay local ad dat we have!!! ...... then genius was my subsequent feeling ...... cuz do you realise ....... is ah whole new market go want tuh go an buy ah Digicel phone now ..... ah whole new market who will now see themselves as part of de mix ...... finally ..... Digicel was thinking on their own ....... 'out of de box' too ..... and not just copying bMobile ads and colourin dem red!
But on ah nex note ...... ah couldn't help but notice de irony ...... of Brad being de 'straight' dude ...... and de Rasta Man being de 'gay' dude ..... what ah switch on stereotypes I tort ...... then there's the question of Rasta Man real life status ...... he had tuh be gay fuh real ...... cuz I cyah see no heterosexual TRINI man playin dat character in ah ad (if he not really gay) ...... Trini men too egotistic and macho ..... dem eh even doin' dat fuh de money!
Then ..... even tho it came across like ah good idea ...... dah whole scene kinda distract meh eh ...... cuz up tuh now ...... me eh know what de arse de ad is about ..... but ..... whatever ...... I eh have tuh know ...... cuz I eh have no Digicel phone ..... what I lookin for now ...... is de bMobile 'answer' ....... cuz yuh know de two ah dem always on ah tit-fuh-tat scene ...... and we all know ..... dat bMobile eh comin out wit no ad like dat!!!
PS: ..... dat Integrity Commission farse dat playin off ..... you realise is only two women left ..... all de man gorn ....... hmmmmm