Ah here ....

An' ah aware ....

Cuz altho I eh goin' nowhere ....

Ah still tryin tuh read papers ....

An' ah seein EVERYTING ....

Ting dat makin meh STEUPS real hard .... an' ting dat makin meh want tuh cuss real bad ....

Like what kinda DEMON would beat a 6 year old tuh death .... fuh not payin attention wit he homework .... WTF .... ah 6 year old's homework ain't dat serious!!!!!

And what kinda @#$%&-UP BITCH TEACHER would put her 8 year old student's head in ah STINK-ASS SCHOOL TOILET and flush de toilet on de chile!!!!!!!!????????? ..... and den ..... make de chile stan-up fuh 3 hours in front de class!!!!!!!???????

And what ah 80 YEAR OLD PRICK doin interfering wit ah 13 year old chile????!!!! .... heck shit .... I didn't even know dat ah 80 year old prick could stan-up .... worse again be used tuh rape .... 61 times!!!

Anyway ..... I eh have nuttin tuh say about nuttin ....

So ....

Ellen turned 50-sumtin today .... and she celebrated by giving gifts tuh everybody on her show ....

Den earlier this month (de 15th tuh be exact) .... little sweetie turned de big ONE OHHHH .... and told her mother .... that she wanted tuh celebrate wit ah small lime .... of just about 5 of her fave girlfriends .... cuz 10 was too old tuh have a kiddie party ....

Three days later (de 18th) .... I turned 100 .... lol .... and all I wanted tuh do is veg out .... which lucky fuh me .... was very adequately facilitated ....

Den just five days later (de 23rd) .... fren turn 31 .... and gasp .... now he tink he OLD!

Hmmmmmm ....

So 10 year old tink she OLD
I KNOW I OLD
And 31 year old tink he OLD

But what de heck really is OLD??

Cuz when yuh really check it .... OLD is not ah number yuh know .... OLD is in yuh mind ...

Cuz honestly .... when I was in my twenties .... I used tuh balk at de thought of turning my current age .... but .... now that I have fortunately made it (tuh 100 ) .... I realise I doh feel ah day older dan when I was in dem same twenties ....

Anyway .... I ain't gettin any younger .... so leh meh wrap up dis post ....

Ah really an' truly logon tonight tuh send big HAPPY BIRTHDAY shoutouts tuh:

Danos (Zee's daddy)
Coffeedude
Shells
JP
De trini
Candi

.... and tuh all meh odda January peeps who ain't gettin any younger either 

After heaps of procrastination .... and loads of biziness ....  it dawned on me today ..... dat I STILL doh have ah workin scanner!!! .... fuh ah whole three months now!!!

So ..... this morning .... further tuh dat disturbing realisation ..... ah pull out all de pull-outs dat ah had save from de newspapers .... wit all de Christmas sales .... an' ah comb tru dem .... wit ah fine toot comb .... hopin tuh find ah cheap All-in-One .... and .... thankfully .... I found one ..... right down de road in Woodbrook .... at ah place called PRW .... where .... take note ..... JESUS IS LORD!

Yeah .... is no way I coulda go wrong .... cheap .... AND .... dey on Jesus!

Anyway ..... ah only now finish de setup .... so ah say leh meh bless-up de scene one time .... wit some crap dat ah see in de papers today ....

So all de bess fuh 2012! .... and NO eh .... de world not goin an' end!




Whatever GOOD SUCCESS is .... may God bless Trinidad and Tobago with good success fuh real!




Ah hopin dat de weight loss product is called SIMPLY MAGIC .... and is not dat they mean .... lose weight with magic!!!




I eh tink dey should be teachin ENGLISH nah!




First tings first .... how a FERTILITY ad .... end up under BEAUTY .... and secondly .... Grrrrrrrrrrr????? ..... dah liquid cause TWO sets of twins??!! .... da'is ting tuh make yuh turn de page .... not dail de number!!! .... who de hell want tuh go from 'cyah have no chirren' .... tuh possibly TWO sets of twins???!!!!




LAWD .... LMAO .... ah love dis ad .... ah savin dat number fuh sure ....




Wheeeeyyyyy .... dat tarot readin could make yuh .... SECRETE love charms!!??




..... and do you know what that is (I didn't) .... Jumbie sen it fuh meh quite from England!

Ah know ....

It was really ah real long pause ....

But watch meh ....

It was fuh ah real good cause ....

The past two months have been FANTABULOUS fuh me and my jewellery .....

So today .... ah jus wanna pause again .... tuh say ....


Thank You ...
Happy Christmas ... 
And all de bess fuh de New Year!


Oh .... and if yuh like me .... an' eh have shit tuh do tomorrow .... yuh could go check ah place called PLAYDIUM in South .... where ADMISSIONED is free .... all FOOODS are halal .... and you get to MAKE YOU CHOICE of all types of dishes including American and CHINEES??!!

So Michael Jackson Doctor GUILTY!

De CURFEW get trow out! 

And de biggest shocker of all ..... Crime Watch get suspend!

WOW ..... what a day!!!

But ..... doh HUT YUH HEAD .....

Cuz dey eh fire Ian Alleyne yuh know .... dey jus suspend de show fuh ah lil bit ..... 

Yeah .... bandits everywhere rejoicin!

I doh know what Trinis go do wit deyself now (at 6:30 pm Monday tuh Friday)!!!

An' de new no curfew ..... I doh know what Trinis goin an' do wit dat new available time slot dat dey wuzen doin' when it was unavailable!

Cuz look jus last nite .... muzbe about 10:00 pm ..... I rushin home from Barataria ...... an' ah setta people streamin out of 51 or Aura (or some one ah dem places on Cipriani Boulevard) .... yes ..... on ah Sunday night .... cuz apparently .... limin and parties never stopped fuh de curfew ..... Trinis simply implemented dey own daylight savings time ..... starting ting in de day ..... and wrappin up by nite!

Anyway .... remember dat it still have a State of Emergency eh ....

So watch yuhself ....

Cuz all dat really mean ..... is dat de Pohlice still have de power tuh act dotish!

By de way ..... anybody know what ONE IS ONE mean?!

YAY .... round of applause fuh TSTT .... my cell phone works!

But hear dis ....

Yuh need tuh reboot de phone .... tuh get it workin again ....

Yeah ....

I was jus here watchin de news .... and de phone was jus here starin meh in meh face (wit de dotish NO SERVICE) .... an' ah get vex all over again ..... an' ah turn it off ..... and den ah turn it back orn tuh check sumtin in meh calendar ....

And THAT IS how I discovered that it's back!

So yes peeps .... FYI .... if any of y'all experiencing de same crap .... apparently de phone eh go jus come back tuh life on its own .... yuh need tuh reboot it!

WOW .... I never thought a cell phone woulda sen me so crazy!!!

From hardly any posts at all .... tuh two in one day!

Anyway .... laterz yuh know ....

Gotta go delete that MY LIME crap!

Fuh those of you who not affected .... an' eh know .... I am about tuh clue you in ....

.... cuz right about now ..... TSTT goin tru ah lil state of emergency .... and as ah result ..... I goin @#*$%^& CRAZY!!!

I need tuh rant!

Now is ah long time I eh talk about TSTT eh .... and that is simply because ..... everyting was goin nice .... that is .... until yesterday ..... at about 12:49 pm ..... when my landline start tuh ring .... which was kinda strange .... cuz my landline doh really ring so ..... as a matter of fact ..... most times my landline does be unplugged!

So anyway ..... ah gorn tuh answer it .... which is also strange ..... cuz I doh answer my landline ..... only tuh discover on de caller ID ..... dat is fren callin (from he cell) .... so ah answer de call .... and de first ting he go ask is ..... YOUR CELL EH WORKIN OR WHAT? ..... so me now .... totally clueless .... blurt out .... YES - WHA YUH MEAN - MY PHONE EH RING YET!

Right .... so we talk we talk .... and after de convo ..... ah decide tuh call him back .... jus tuh tess de phone tuh make sure everyting copacetic!

Well HELLO .... everyting was not copacetic .... de call refuse tuh go tru .... so ah turn it off ..... cuz fuh those of you who have ah SMARTphone .... yuh would know dat sometimes dey does get lil DOTISH .... an' yuh does have tuh do ah reboot!

Right .... so ah turn it back orn now .... an' ah call again .... only tuh get ..... No Service ..... Call Failed ..... SALT .... AGAIN!



Now this is an extremely long story .... wit way too much nitty-gritty detail tuh go into ..... so fuh now ..... ah will try tuh just state de necessary .... on de state of dis obvious TSTT emergency ..... cuz needless tuh say .... after dem two call attempts  .... wit de phone only CHUPSIN .... I start tuh get real antsy .....

So this is what happen next:

• Ah put orn meh troubleshootin cap .... an' ah ask fren tuh sen meh ah text .... SALT .... I eh get it

• Ah take out de SIM card an' ah put it in meh ME TOO .... SALT .... it eh work .... SIM card registration failed!!
  
  

• Ah call 824-TSTT (from my landline of course) ..... and SALT ..... until a robot finally answers my 4th call ..... who confirms dat everyting OK wit meh account .... so she will sen meh problem tuh de Help Desk/Techicians .... and dey (i.e. de Help Desk or de Technicians) will get back tuh me in 24-48 hours ..... and in de interim ..... ah should take meh phone tuh de nearest TSTT and have dem check it out .....

RED FLAG:  How de arse dey go call meh in 24-48 hours if ah cyah get calls on de phone????!!!!!!

• Right .... so ah get up off de floor from meh jewellery makin .... hole ah fresh .... put orn clean clothes ..... AND deodorant .... AND comb meh hair ..... jump eeen meh car .... and head out tuh TSTT West Mall ....

• Reach TSTT West Mall .... get tru real quick tuh see ah Clerk .... she tell meh she go tess de SIM card and if it is ah need a new one .... ah will have tuh pay $25?!

• De Clerk next tuh her now .... who was kinda macoin my scene .... turns tuh de bote ah we and advises dat is not a problem with my SIM card .... is ah TSTT problem

• Den my gyul (i.e. de Clerk dealin with me) still proceeds tuh check my SIM card and confirms what her colleague advised

• I go back home .... with my SALT in my pocket .... PISSED!!!

• I gripe .... and I gripe .... and I gripe ..... and I do without my phone ..... for the rest of the day (which is something I did for many years before getting a cell phone in 1999)

• I go to bed .... uneasy .... cuz I'm wondering if anybody was trying to reach me .... I contemplate having a stiff drink tuh knock me out!

• I get up this morning ..... to ..... MORE SALT!  

• I call TSTT ..... and the robot again says ..... dat she cyah say ..... when 'de system' would be fixed

• I now buss a blood vessel ..... and ask tuh speak tuh someone who CAN SAY!!!

• The robot then informs me that that would be de Supervisor .... and she then puts me ON HOLD ....

• The Supervisor (or whoever) comes to the phone .... presses a button .... and click .... de call disconnect ..... SALT AGAIN!

• I call back ..... and I start to give my story for the 100th time .... when from de time ah say meh name ..... de robot stop meh .... "Ms. Scene please HOLD ON" .....

• The Manager comes to the phone .... apologises profusely and attempts to explain the situation (apparrently dey upgradin dey 'system') ..... advises that she too cyah say when tings will be back tuh normal .... and she promises tuh call me back later (on my landline) with an update .....

Now de long and short is .... de Manager come an' say de same shit dat de robot say .... but fuh some strange reason ..... she boil meh down like bahji .... yeah .... she manage tuh calm de donkey in me .... cuz she was so sweet ..... and so human (not like de bloody robots) .... and so apologetic .... and empathetic .... and even a lil sympathetic .... it just seemed like she really did care .... 


BUT AH STILL DOH HAVE NO BLASTED PHONE!!!!!

And now .... as I sit and gripe some more .... is real tings confufflin my brain .... cuz ....

• My cell phone is my business phone!
• My cell number is the only number MOST people have fuh me!
• When yuh call my number .... yuh eh even gettin tuh leave ah voice message .... cuz NUTTIN eh workin!
• And I don't have a Digicel cell phone (wish I'd gotten one now!)
• Is ah good ting ah have ah landline dat ah coulda use tuh report de non-workin cell
• Is TSTT going to refund me for the downtime
• Oh and talkin about refunds .... I found out too .... that MY LIME is ah tiefhead if yuh have a postpaid account .... yeah ..... so TAKE IT OFF! .... cuz yuh actually payin fuh it ...... yeah .... go check Page 2 of yuh Bill .... why didn't TSTT explain this when they launched it???!!!! .... ah want ah REFUND!!!

Anyway .... de moral of dis story is .... TSTT is still TSTT .... AND .... be careful what yuh wish for .... cuz I always wishin fuh people tuh stop callin me .... especially if dey callin fuh shit ....

And now ..... I jus long tuh hear my phone ring!!!

But Aye ....

Is Friday .....

So Happy Friday .... go have a 'beverage' ..... I'm certainly gonna!

Yesterday I get ah email ..... wit ah link tuh a website called Global Voices ..... apparently dey call meh name in ah Anya post ....

And .... in de course of conductin ah lil maco ..... I somehow end up on Outlish Magazine .... on an article about life after Anya .... and what we go do wit weself now ....

And .... it got me thinking .....

Cuz FUH REAL .... what am I gonna do on a Thursday night now?!

Then .... I continued thinking some more .....

About how much I can't stand Halloween!!! ..... STEUPS!!!!

Night before .... some kids come 'trick or treatin' up by me .... now my door was open eh .... but de bandit-proof gate was lock ..... so they knew that somebody was obviously home .... but I so eh bizness .... that I totally didn't even get up .... I just holler tuh dem .... dat I clean forget was Halloween ..... so I eh have no treats ..... den ah hear dem shoo-shooin and shufflin tuh de next apartment .... lucky fuh me .... dey didn't have no tricks up dey silly little costume sleeve ....

STEUPS .... I doh know what it is .... but Trinis mix wit Halloween .... does jus peeve me!

And then there's Kim Kardashian .... what de hell??!!

Anyway .... ah didn't really plan on rantin (cuz it too late) .... ah really logon tuh post some pics .... so look dem ....




I cyah even remember when I take dis pic .... de only reason it now starrin .... is because of de pic below ....




Yep .... saw that yesterday .... round de Savannah .... and it wasn't even on de road-side wall eh ..... it was on ah lil side-wall .... like ah driveway wall .... and it was behind me tuh boot ...... yeah .... I was crawlin in traffic .... and only manage tuh see it .... cuz ah turn around tuh talk tuh fren ....




Oh gorm Fairways ..... come nah man ..... dat sign tarnishin allyuh porshness .... it so not befittin eh!




What is de purpose of Police on horses? ..... I saw this on Ariapita Avenue a few days ago .... and long before I got to them .... the horse shit all over de road signalled their presence .... but seriously .... what is de purpose of a Police on a horse?




LOL .... saw that outside Valley Harps Panyard in Petit Valley .... and boy was I baffled .... AND disappointed at de same time .... cuz de ting had all kyna ting in it .... food container .... bottle .... ah piece ah wood .... like didn't they see de sign?!




Nelson Street, Port of Spain ....

Hardware AND Church Goods??? .... what is church goods?




Why is the word ENERGY up there .... anyway .... all ah will say fuh dis one .... is Trevor Sayers .... Barataria!



PS:  .... Fuh those of you who still weanin yuhself off of Project Runway .... and still need yuh lil fix ..... it have ah Season 9 behind de scenes show tomorrow nite wit Tim Gunn!

What did I tell y'all at de end of my last post .....

Didn't I tell y'all .... dat ah was feelin' ah Anya win ..... so yuh need tuh go watch Project Runway .....

well ..... HELLO ....

Guess what .....

ANYA really @#$%^&*  WIN!!!!

My gyul runway wit de Project .... and she lick-up with de Fan Favourite .....

Lawd .... how proud are Trinis tonight ...... we likin weself .....

Anyway ..... ah really cyah lime too long .... cuz ah tryin tuh watch Project Accessory (which is my ting self) ..... and den ah trying tuh watch After de Runway ..... tuh ketch some of de after bitchin .....

So laterz .....

Congratulations Anya Ayoung Chee!

So dis morning .... ah ketch ah vaps .... and decide .... dat is high time .... dat ah touch down .... on dis here blog ....

cuz yeah .... it's been way too long ....

However .... since my last post .... not ah shit has happened wit me .... so I eh really have nuttin tuh say ....

Den .... on top ah dat .... ah still doh have no scanner .... so ah cyah scan nuttin from de newspapers .... and .... wit all de SoE and curfew crap .... I doh be nowhere .... so I eh seeing nuttin tuh take pictures of .... and ..... I been crazy busy .... making crazy ting .... while trying tuh complete ah crazy order too .... involving close tuh 300 paper beads .... and if yuh ever make a bead outta paper .... yuh will appreciate how crazy it is .... tuh try tuh make nearly 300 of dem ..... especially when yuh have tuh colour-out yuh design on each piece ah paper!!!

Anyway .... as ah say .... a jus logon tuh holler .... tuh say dat ah still here .... oh ..... and tuh say .... BIG UP tuh Cropperino (one of my readers who I recently met) .... de lime in UpMarket was nice

But wait .... as ah mention UpMarket ....

Ah tink yuh know by now ..... dat I make jewellery .... and every month .... I tote my jewellery to a sale called UpMarket (check it out on Facebook) ....

So last month .... I dey on meh chair .... chillin .... while de jewellery displayin .... fuh people passin .... when up trots dis lady .... who exclaims .... "Oh my Gosh - look at these earrings - they're so in style now" .... so me now .... not one tuh follow fads or 'in style' shit .... I ask her exactly what it is dat ..... in style .... and ..... wit ah kinda puzzled look on her face ..... as if tuh say EH? ..... she say ..... these earrings .... these long dangling earrings .... haven't you been watching Project Runway .... Anya Ayoung Chee wears earrings like these ....

Well shiver me timbers!!! 

Apparently .... because of Anya Ayoung Chee .... my jewellery became IN STYLE!

Cuz guess what .... other customers said de same ting too ....

Made me realise how many people was watchin dat show .... and what an impact Anya was having .....

So BIG UP yuh know .... big up tuh Anya .... cuz HELLO .... when people start associatin yuh name .... wit ah trend ..... YUH REACH ..... and when people start associatin ah hot designer like Anya Ayoung Chee wit yuh product ..... YUH REACH

Right .... so da'is dat .... bote ah we reach ....

Now on tuh some pics dat ah take last week .... while journeying through Couva .... it was my second time tuh Couva .... so of course ah was lil never-see-come-see .... and had tuh pull out de camera ..... altho ..... there was one missed photo op ..... yeah ..... de boat building ..... yep ..... there's a building in Couva that looks like a big-ass ship ....




Now I struggled over whether tuh post dis pic eh .... cuz after all .... it is somebody's house .... but then I thought to myself .... what da heck .... wit ah design like dat ..... these people clearly want this house tuh be seen .... so NO .... is not Mickey Mouse house ..... is not Magic Kingdom in Disney .... this palatialness is really in Couva .... and it actually belongs to an always impeccably dressed .... always well coifed .... very vocal ..... almost pretty ..... kinda prominent ..... Trini man of God .... ah givin yuh one guess!




Hmmmm .... a dog hotel .... nice .... but is there really a market for this type of service in Central .... and whoa ..... is that the actual Dog Hotel .... cuz it look lil 'ruff' ....




There I was .... trying my best tuh order some food at the Double Dragon Restaurant .... when dat hit meh .... yep .... ah chinese food restaurant .... sellin pens .... erasers .... AND liquid paper .... oh .... and tuh bring everything into perspective .... yuh could also get chopsticks ....

But why 2 pens .... why 3 erasers .... why not ah pen .... or ... ah eraser?

Wait a minute ... what am I saying .... the real question is .... WHAT ABOUT PENCILS?

If it nice .... do it twice .... ah likin de colour combos .... and de letterin .... and de nut of coco ....


PS: Remember tuh watch Project Runway Thursday night ..... ah feelin' ah Anya win!

Ah jus come from de 3 Canal show .... and lawd ..... ah cyah say it enough ..... GOD TAKE HE TIME WIT WENDELL MANWARREN!!!

Right ....

So let's see ....

What have I been up to lately ....

Well ....

I been making ting like crazy .... wacking out my hands .... and my arms!

Then .... my scanner crashed a few weeks ago .... so all my dotish newspaper findings are pretty much still in de newspapers where ah find dem ....

I just got spectacles .... which blew my mind .... and my eyes .... cuz I knew I couldn't see .... I just didn't realise dat is so much I couldn't see!

Anyway .... on tuh today's topic .... TOCO .... a place I wish I could be right now .... after takin eeeeen 5 days too many .... of dat insane, unbelievable CLICO commission of enquiry!

Now allyuh know dat I eh jus sit down one day and say .... AYE - AH FEELIN TUH GO TOCO!

No sirree ..... it was ah chain-up .... as per usual!

You see .... I have dis fren ..... who new scene ..... is goin tuh Toco on weekends .... 'tuh get away' and regroup ....

So last week .... when he call meh tuh make de turn .... I wasn't surprised .... but I was surprised ..... cuz he know dat I not on bush .... he know dat Iz ah city gyul!

So .... after tinkin it over fuh a couple days .... and findin out dat de trip was shortened by a day .... I decided tuh go ..... fuh de 'experience' ....

Now .... being someone who hates long drives .... my one condition fuh makin de trip .... was that I not be a passenger ..... yes .... I wanted tuh drive .... and oh what a drive it was .... cuz counting all de times we stopped .... tuh get groceries .... tuh take pictures .... tuh get ah beverage .... tuh get hassle by de Police (YES - Roadblock!) .... tuh find gas (in de lone little gas station in Cumana) .... it took us nearly 3 hours tuh reach dis place in de bush dat was tuh be our home away from home ....

And WOW .... an experience an' ah half it was!

On reaching the house .... which is pearched on a hill in the middle of a huge estate ..... we were immediately greeted by animals .... yes .... animals .... no humans .... just a big open-up house .... with ducks and chickens and goats and sheep roaming .....

Now it have real ting I could talk about eh .... and I mean REAL TING ..... but is too much .... so ....

Let's just say ..... that our first day ..... which was Saturday ..... was spent sitting on de porch .... vibesin .... talkin shit .... drinkin .... cookin .... takin pics ..... and listening tuh dancehall music .... yep ..... dancehall music which massaged our ears ..... minutes after arriving .... when the caretaker who is Indo-Trini .... appeared out of nowhere .... with his three pothounds .... and two breadfruit .... and turned it on (LOUD!) .... needless tuh say .... I was a lil weirded out .... cuz ah doh mean tuh stereotype .... but dude didn't fit de profile of ah dancehall jammer at all .... by 9:00 pm .... every man jack was in bed .... and dude was still jammin his dancehall .... LOUD!

Then Sunday morning .... as if tuh not be outdone by de dancehall .... dem cock an' dem start tuh crow muzbe about 4 o'clock .... I could not sleep .... I roll and roll and toss and turn .... until eventually ah roll out de bed at about 6!!! ..... tuh more dancehall!!! ..... which then mellowed down tuh tabanca songs on Radio Toco 106.7!? ..... by the time I awoke .... some of de crew had already left tuh head back tuh civilisation .... the rest of us jibbed fuh a while .... had some breakfast (Thanks R and A ) .... and finally made our way out at about 10:30 .... and I say finally .... cuz like dem wanted tuh stay de day .... Grrrrrrr???!!!

In Toco ..... I completely forgot that I was in Trinidad ..... I completely forgot about the State of Emergency ..... I completely forgot about the curfew .....

I know I totally cannot live in Toco! .... but I can totally go again .... if only tuh get away and forget!




Saturday morning .... headin tuh Toco .... that car was in front of me on de Audrey Jeffers Highway ..... hmmmm ...... is that suppose tuh be cute?




Saw this in Tru Valu - Trincity Mall .... yeah ..... we stopped off fuh groceries on de way up de road .... and while cashing .... I see ah doubles vendor conductin brisk business in de corner of de grocery .... so of course .... I went back tuh de car .... got my camera .... ran back tuh de grocery .... and took several pictures .... cuz DAT was just too weird .... nobody woulda believe me if I had tell dem dat ..... now mind you .... Tru Valu in Trincity Mall is one bourgeois grocery .... it like dem grocery yuh does see away .... so yeah .... dat down-tuh-earth doubles vibes was ah real tief head ....




Saw dat on de Churchill Roosevelt Highway .... what de heck is dat gaudy monstrosity?!




LOL .... yes ..... de new Jerusalem City comin tuh come ..... I saw it




If only there was a sign fuh real .... tuh tell us when DEPRESSION's ahead!




ROADBLOCK in Valencia .... if yuh look good yuh will see de Pohlice .... oh and check out de sign sayin Radio Toco .... cuz that's a very important sign .... yeah .... cuz in Toco yuh cyah get no radio stations .... except Radio Toco .... and Radio Tambrin .....




We stopped off at this bar tuh get a beverage .....




My one and only sea pic ....... cuz I didn't want tuh have crew stoppin every mintue fuh me tuh take pics!




Hmmmm ..... PrOPPerty ..... takes me back tuh dat long-time Naughty by Nature rap song .... OPP!




One of the animals encountered on de estate .....




More of the animals encountered .....




The lamb and the pothound .... and no ..... dat is not de title of a kiddie storybook .... dat is real life ..... in Toco!




You know how long I eh see ah guava tree .... I have come tuh realise ..... that there are some fruits ..... dat I grow up wit ..... dat I jus doh see anymore ..... like cherries .... where all de cherry trees gorn?!




The sky .... enhanced by leaves ....




Warmin up some bread .....




De outhouse .... which I totally stayed away from ....




Coconuts fresh off de tree .... yeah .... my boy (de caretaker) ketch ah vaps Sunday morning .... while we was outside jibbin .... and went and pick coconuts fuh us .... it was delish .... I had the jelly! ..... you know how long I eh eat some good coconut jelly!




Loved this coconut tree dat look like it want tuh take ah dip!




Some river .....




Headin back tuh Diego .... dat sign has been on ah post on de Audrey Jeffers Highway fuh de longest while .... I thought it was very nice of the person who found de tyre tuh put up such a sign ....


PS:   Happy Republic Day Trinbago!

Since de 29th of July I tryin tuh write dis post!!!


One day .... in July self .... my sister (who livin in NY) sen me ah text .... tuh tell me .... dat Anya Ayoung Chee gonna be on Project Runway ....

Well yuh know I had tuh reply ..... an' tell her dat she late .... cuz HELLO .... we in Trinbago had done know dat ahready!!!

Now I doh know Anya personally eh .... but I did meet her once .... yeah ..... yuh could say we had a meeting in de ladies room ..... last year ..... at YUMA band launch .... uh huh ..... me and Ticketmaster ..... like two groupie ..... jumbie de gyul in de ladies room ..... tuh pose fuh pics .... and .... surprisingly ..... she very willingly obliged ..... she was so sweet about it ..... my gyul jus flashed dat Miss Trinidad and Tobago winning smile .... and totally vogued out wit de two of us .... in de toilet!!! .... she even told me that she liked my outfit (which btw was a ratch outfit that I made wit two scarf) .... which was awesome ..... cuz how cool was that!! .... a hott young Designer telling me that she liked MY 'design' ....

Needless tuh say ..... at that point .... I instantly became her No. 1 fan!

So fast forward a year now .... and our girl on Project Runway! ..... wow ..... what pride ..... and happiness ..... fuh Anya .... and fuh Trinbago ..... cuz yuh know us ..... we like tuh see weself on TV ..... especially if is in America!

The show premiered on July 28 ..... and THAT is why .... since July 29th I tryin tuh write dis post!!!

Cuz did you see it ..... did you see her .... did you see her designs ..... did you see what she had orn ..... did you see her funky hairstyle .... did you see how well she handled Tim Gunn .... did you hear her very Trini accent ..... did you? ..... cuz OMG .... by de time dat show was done dat night .... I was gorn ..... Anya was already my favourite .... and not in no bias way yuh know .... I was just really genuinely impressed .... cuz hear what happen eh .....

Apparently my gyul .... see some tweet .... about how de deadline approachin fuh Project Runway applications ..... and decide tuh apply on ah whim .... A  A ..... lo and behold .... she make de first cut .... and end up as one of de initial 20 designers ..... so all ah dem struttin dey stuff fuh de judges ..... displayin dey designs an' ting .... when GASP ..... Anya turn reach .... and she reveal dat she now learn how tuh sew ..... as in .... about 4 months ago ..... well ..... wit dah one ..... Mr. Tim Gunn get up off he seat tuh inspect de scene ..... cuz brotha didn't believe dat is ah novice sew dem clothes dat Anya was paradin ..... de man say NAH! .... you tellin me dat you sew dis ..... and you only learn tuh sew de odda day?! .... yep .... Gunn was ready tuh SHOOT down we gyul yes .... especially after she admit too ..... dat she had get help!

So BRAPS ..... Episode 1 ..... de ting now start ..... and Anya causin lil drama .... cuz Gunn didn't want nuttin of it ..... as far as he was concern ..... it was a wrap fuh Anya before she even start .... tank de Lord fuh Heidi Klum who had obviously ketch Anya vibe ..... and who eventually convinced him and de others tuh take ah chance on her .... or else it woulda be crapaud smoke Anya pipe!! ..... she end up as one of de remaining 16 .... and the rest as they say ..... is history!

Which is exactly what I'm hoping for fuh Anya .....

Cuz altho some tink dat she playin dead tuh ketch corbeaux alive ..... wit de whole not being able tuh sew too good scene ..... there's no doubt dat Miss Thang have talent .... cuz she real lick-up dat first challenge when she opted tuh sew ah pants .... which ain't an easy ting tuh sew ..... and she keeps impressing me every week .... and yeah .... I said every week ..... cuz she still dey ..... ya huh ..... six weeks later ..... she still dey ..... an' hear nah .... if you see my gyul outfits tuh go tuh work ..... and her jewellery ..... and her hair ..... and makeup ..... and her general disposition ..... she never in no confusion ..... she just cool ..... everybody like her (well except Viktor who find dat she shoulda confess dat Laura help her sew ah collar) .... she articulate ...... when she hadda talk .... she talkin sense .... and she talkin it in Trini (Amen!) ..... again ..... she real talented ..... and focussed .... and wit all dat ..... she comin across real sweetie too ....

Serioulsy ..... I had no idea that this chick could do all dat she doin on dat show .....

Now it have real ting I could write about eh ..... ah whole 6 Episodes of ting ..... but ah cyah make ..... is too much .... so fuh now ..... leh meh leave yuh wit what I thought was de biggest ting tuh happen fuh Anya so far .... which is ..... her Episode 5 Maxi Dress ..... being selected by Heidi Klum as part of her New Balance line .... to be sold on Amazon .... now how HUGE is that!!!



Grrrrrrr ..... look at de price of dat dress!!!


So .... watch meh ..... if yuh eh maco de show yet ..... yuh need to ..... it on Lifetime ..... on Thursdays (that's today) ..... at 9:00 .... an' doh tell meh dat yuh eh go be home ..... cuz at 9:00 ..... everywhere done close fuh curfew at 11:00!! ..... you WILL be home!

Oh .... and if yuh on Twitter .... go vote fuh her .... cuz guess who in de lead fuh Fan Favourite .....






PS:  ..... Pssssst .... Anya .... ah see yuh say dat earrings is a fashion must .... well girlfren ..... you're in luck .... cuz not only do I make ratch clothes .... but I also make fab earrings (wit your name on some)

I have been driving on fumes fuh de past three days ....





So this afternoon .... when fren call meh tuh pick him up in Starlite .... ah tell mehself .... Scene .... go get some gas one time .... show yuh car some love ....

Well LAWD .... I eh playin I does have wrong timin sometimes nah ..... cuz why I choose today of all days tuh go get gas?!

Apparently .... text messages and mauvais langue was flying around de place today .... about how Petrotrin workers gorn on strike ..... or de gas finish .... or some shit ..... so if you see de confusion I bounce up on de Diego Martin Main Road .... as I exit Starlite tuh head tuh Four Roads Gas Station .... it was so bad .... dat ah Pohlice had tuh come and direct traffic .... an' ah doh mean traffic in general eh .... ah mean he had tuh direct traffic fuh de Gas Station!!!

In an effort tuh ease up de traffic that was buildin-up on de Main Road ..... de Pohlice was tellin everybody tuh drive eeen de lil dead-end side street ..... and go down tuh de end .... and turn around ..... and join de line .... one long-ass line ....





Took me about 20 minutes tuh finally reach de pump ..... where I discovered that I had only $60 .... which I padded with fren's $20 .... which got me very little gas! ..... so if dis gas shit is fuh real dis time ....

Gas light .... here I come again!!

Look de Pohlice .... Protecting and Serving with Pride .... while hype Trinis get dey gas .... as though it have anywhere tuh go wit de gas .... 9-5 is lock-down people!!!





Pohlice assisting motorists with identifying which side dey tank on .... so dey will know which line tuh go in .... LOL ....




.... and that's what $80 gets me .... not even ah half tank!!!

Last night .... I end up in ah small lime by ah fren in Valley ....

So we dey ..... eatin .... drinkin .... talkin shit .... when beep beep beep .... beep beep .... one ah de crew get ah text message tuh say ..... DIEGO IN AH STATE OF EMERGENCY .....

Now .... as residents of Diego (i.e. de crew dat was hangin) .... and more importantly ..... citizens of Trinidad and Tobago .... we all steupsed in unison .... and moved on ..... cuz please ..... everybody know dat Trinis always on some shit ....

A  A .... dis morning when ah get up now ..... I see ah miss call from fren who we was limin by .... so ah call him back .... only tuh find out (in my state of lethargy) .... dat de Prime Minister really declare ah STATE OF EMERGENCY in sweet TnT!!!

So ah fly outside now tuh get meh newspapers .... and lo and behold .... there it was fuh real!! ...... well I couldn't believe what I was seein .... cuz I woulda never tink dat I would live tuh see another State of Emergency in my country ....



Den ..... apparently ..... initially .... said State of Emergency was tuh be limited tuh crime hot spots only ..... and ..... guess whey was starring as ah HOT SPOT ..... yep ..... Diego!!! .... well dat was rude awakening number two ..... cuz I didn't know I was livin in ah crime hot spot ....

Den ..... dey say dat de lock-down is from 9 pm to 5 am .... fuh de next 15 days .....

LAWD!!!!

Now I eh no social butterfly eh .... I really doh be anywhere in de night so .... but oh gorm .... jus de thought of not being able tuh go nowhey fuh 15 days ..... ah jus cyah wrap meh head around dat yet .....

Den .... dah whole scene about Police and Soldiers an' ting being able tuh do what dey want .... without search warrant an' ting .... Grrrrrr??? .... dat shit scary man .... cuz who gonna guard de guards?? .....

All I know .... is dat I keepin my arse quiet fuh de next three weeks .... me eh goin nowhere .... an' I eh want tuh hear about no curfew party .... cuz we all know dat next week wit dem public holidays back-tuh-back .... some idiot goin an' trow ah curfew party ..... an' it eh rocket science .... is jus styles from 1990 goin an' come again!

Anyway .... all de vex ah vex ... dat ah get lock-down .... ah really hopin dat dis shit get positive results .... cuz dis country wackin-out fuh real .... and if dis is what it gonna take tuh straighten shit out .... den so be it .... ah wishin dem Police luck ..... an' ah also appealin tuh dem mosquitoes an' dem .... tuh PLEASE follow de curfew too .... an' keep allyuh ass lock-down too!!!

TnT .... be safe .... and be smart .... doh be tryin tuh skate eeeen yuh house at 8:59!!!


PS:  .... ah predicting ah surge in May babies next year

Yep ....

Thanks tuh YUMA ..... ah had was tuh come out of meh slumber ..... and PRESS PLAY on Wuzdescene!

Cuz after not touchin down on dis here blog fuh de past 36 days ..... and after continuously cleansin meh aura fuh de said 36 days (see my last post on July 10) ..... guess who get ah invitation tuh YUMA band launch .... and guess who sen it fuh meh!!

Well yuh know wit dah one ..... yuh gyul was likin sheself ..... cuz HELLO .... I wasn't invited as no YUMA yuh know ..... yuh gyul was invited as ah BLOGGER ..... den ..... when ah find out dat de party was ah hott $325 .... yuh gyul was liking herself even more .... cuz HELLO ..... Iz ah Trini .... we make good company ..... when shit FREE!



Now ah know dat ah jus PRESS PLAY eh ..... but leh we rewind ah lil bit .... like back tuh de week before de party ....

Tuesday (Aug 9) tuh be exact .....

I home .... mindin meh own business as usual ..... busyin myself wit some jewellery makin an' ting .... when meh cell phone start tuh ring .... it was Ticketmaster callin .... of course tuh say dat she organise fuh YUMA ..... and dat de party is Saturday blah, blah, blah .... so ..... yuh know me .... I say cool .... we on ..... FREE is always a no-brainer!

A  A .... about ah half hour later now ..... meh cell phone start tuh ring again .... was another peeps callin tuh say dat .... YUMA organise meh under 'Bloggers' .... and dat dey (de Bloggers) have meh ticket/invite.

So see me now ..... wit meh suddenly very important self .... ah decide right there and then .... dat I was tuh definitely go tuh dis party ..... cuz was jus too many people requestin my presence

So de day of de party reach now ..... and me an' fren say we go head down about 10:30 .... which woulda give us enough time tuh find ah park ..... and tuh find ah good spot in de party ..... and get primed etc. ..... in time fuh de show .... which was scheduled tuh start at 1:00 am???

So 11:00 reach (yeah ah whole 30 mins later dan de planned departure time!) ..... and we now leavin Diego ..... but ..... was no scene .... cuz de party was right dey in Pier 2 ..... altho de invitation was sayin THE ARCADE???

De drive was real cool ..... no setta traffic ..... no drama ..... jus cool ..... that is ..... until we pass de kayak place .... where .... around de next bend in de distance .... was only as setta red lights ..... aka TRAFFIC!!! .... which I guess was good .... cuz let's be honest .... if yuh party eh have traffic AND scalpers .... den de party is BOOO .... and .... by de looks of tings .... YUMA was off tuh ah good start .... cuz if you see scalpers .... some ah dem look like dey was even lookin tuh buy tickets .... yeah ..... I know .... cuz ah had enough time tuh observe ..... as I crawled in the traffic fuh about 20 minutes ..... while also getting all excited at de big-ass monstrosity dat was constructed in Pier 2 ..... dat yuh coulda see from de road .... yep .... was real bright lights .... and real fanciness .....

So anyway ..... finally .... at about 11:45 .... we made our way into Pier 2 ..... which was actually divided into two .... part was fuh de party ..... and part was fuh parkin .... of course we had a Parking Pass (dat Ticketmaster organise) ..... as all Very Important People would have ..... so needless tuh say ..... we get ah real cork park ..... real near de entrance .....

Again .... getting in de party was ah breeze .... no long walk tuh de entrance (in we 5" heels) .... no drama .... no long line .... no setta waitin ....

When we reach eeeeen now .... was pure never-see-come-see-ness .... cuz HELLO ..... whey dey get dat stage from .... de ting was real borse .... it was like a big circular ramp ..... with a long one down de middle of de circle ..... so basically ..... no matter what part of de party yuh was chillin .... yuh woulda be up close and personal wit de models at some point ..... yuh coulda even go in de middle of de circle .... which was just awesome ..... cuz at first I tort was some kinda VIP shit ..... cuz yuh know how de ting does go in Trini .... everybody always have some dotish pippsin VIP section in dey party ..... so I was really very pleasantly surprised .... when dey announce dat yuh coulda go inside .....

Of course ah doh have tuh tell yuh where I end up 

So right ..... as ah was sayin .... we inside de party .... layout fully maco-ed .... bars identified ..... drink in hand ..... ladies room identified .... head gettin nice ..... music pumpin ..... de party orn ..... we roamin ..... I real gapin ..... when braps ..... fren bounce up Miss Teri Leigh Bovell and stop tuh chat an' take picture an' ting ..... now it eh no secret .... dat I tink Miss Bovell is one smokin hottt chick ..... so imagine my shock (and horror) .... when fren tell meh dat she no longer wit YUMA ..... cuz Grrrrrrrr????? ..... HELLO ..... tuh me .... Teri Leigh IS YUMA!!! .... who dem go get tuh fill dat hottness void now!?

Anyway .... so by de time we done walk around ..... and get ah next drink etc. ..... was time fuh de show tuh start (approx. 1:06 am) ..... so I now .... ah position mehself tuh de left side of de main ramp ..... which after de stupid smoke/fog or whatever de fog it was ..... cleared ..... proved to be ah wrong move ..... cuz de models jus wuzen stoppin dey tuh pose ..... clearly I should have been tuh de front of de main ramp and not tuh de side .... but .... whatever ..... frustration led me tuh de outskirts .... and when de show was over .... I was actually able tuh get a few shots of the models as they did ah kinda lagniappe stationary chip on de circle ramp .....

But watch meh ..... leh meh talk about de costumes lil bit ....

Now bearing in mind ..... dat I eh no mas critic .... my general observations were as follows:

• Everybody bamsee was outside (well except fuh de men) .... so if yuh don't have ah good bamsee .... please refrain from the thongs and request ah boy shorts ....
• A lot of the male costumes actually looked like some time was spent .... altho I can't see men wearing headpieces with feathers (Azteca, Apache, Angry Birds, Bejeweled Blitz)
• The costumes are gorgeous .... especially the very elaborate ones ..... i.e. the frontlines or individuals or whaterver they are ....
• The use of feathers to depict video games and online games was amazing ..... cuz yeah .... de theme of de band is GAMES (and feathers?)
• And whatever yuh favourite colour is .... YUMA have ah costume in it!

Right .... so dat was dat .....

After de show now .... we drink some more ..... lime some more ..... gape some more ..... watch some people make idiots of themselves doin ah conga line on de stage ..... and by 3:20 am ..... fren was ready tuh go .... so ..... under duress .... I made my way out!

All in all .... de YUMA vibes had real vibes!

An' I doh play mas ..... so I have no idea what a YUMA mas playin experience is like .... but ah could tell one ting .... dem Young Upwardly Mobile Adults know how tuh trow ah party!!!

The pics below ..... are the only pics I managed tuh get ....

Now ah get a lil booklet when ah was leavin eh .... but meh scanner not workin ..... so is not like ah could even scan de pics and post dem ....

But wait .... talkin about dat lil booklet .....

YUMA .... wha happen tuh allyuh calendar dis year???




This is the entrance .... loved the lights .... yeah .... it takes very little tuh impress me




And that is what got yuh in de party ..... i.e. if yuh didn't have ah paper invitation (like me) ..... very cute idea I thought .... dem scalpers muzbe ketch dey ass wit dem ting!




Anybody out there could explain dis one .... what is the NO RE-ENTRY rule really about in ah party ..... like suppose I wanted tuh go tuh my car fuh sumtin .... why I cyah do dat?! ..... why once I walk eeeeeen de party .... it means I stuck dey .... til is time tuh leave?




Oh gorm .... dat is de stage ah was ravin on .... it was real bess! .... de picture eh too clear .... but if yuh look good .... yuh will see de straight part of de stage .... dat ends under some big screens .... and den piece of de circular part .....




This is inside de circle .... long before de show was ready tuh start .... hence de 'no people' ....




LAWD .... I could NEVER understand de smoke effects in ah band launch presentation.... cuz it totally  @#$%^&-up  my pictures!!!!




Gorgeous .... both the model and the costume .... I think this is Tyris ....




Ditto .... gorgeous again .... model and costume .... this is Luxor ....




This is Bejeweled Blitz .... I eh feelin dis at all!




Me eh know if dey airbrush he body .... but it orn!! .... this is God of War ....




Final Fantasy on de left ..... and Tyris on de right .....




Luxor on de left .... and Angry Birds on de right .....




This is transformers .... although ..... in de lil booklet dat ah get .... it lookin purple .... so I doh know if it is dey have it in two colours i.e. purple and royal blue .....




This is the Apache male ....




And this is the Apache Female ..... looks like a frontline or individual or sumtin .....




This looks like Heavenly Sword .... altho again .... the colour is different in the booklet .... in the booklet it looks Royal Blue ....




I have no idea what costume this is .... I eh seein it in de booklet!




Doh have ah clue what dis is either .... not seein it in de booklet .... did some sections come about as after thoughts .... like why can't I find them in the booklet?




Ah know ah done have ah pic of dis costume .... but ah couldn't resist dis bumsee shot .....




This section is called God of War .... so I'm guessing she's really a Goddess of War ....




Oooh la la! .... lovin dis .... de costume .... de colours .... de model ...... everyting .... dis is my costume .... dat ah not seein in de booklet .... so I eh know what it called .....




This is Azteca .... beautiful headpiece .... but hear nah .... no man cyah roll up on dat bumper wit all dat shit on she head!!!




This is Final Fantasy ..... and just when I tort Azteca was bad wit she headpiece .... dis one whole backside (as in the back side of her body) off-limits ....




Final Fantasy too I guess ....




Oh .... and is this a third version of Final Fantasy .... like is this the FINAL fantasy ...




This is Transformers .... where de rest of dis costume .... like where de lil crotch concealers etc. ....




I doh know if da'is de front and back of de same costume ..... but de one on de right is Spawn ....




Da'is Angry Birds on de left (altho she looks like ah happy bird tuh me) .... and Luxor on de right ....



PS:  THANKS TO YUMA  .... and ..... as usual .... tuh get de real reviews and pics ..... check out Trinidad Carnival Diary .... and Afro Chic ...

Is time tuh clean yuh AURA .... da'is what time it is!!!

Did you even know .... dat yuh could cleanse yuh aura???

Well .... I discover dat in today's Woman Express .... and .... had I known before .... nuff tings dat happen in de past .... woulda never happen ..... cuz watch meh .... I woulda be cleansin, tonin AND moisturizin Ms. Aura ....

Cuz it real easy tuh do yuh know .... all yuh need is tings like ..... time .... some quiet ..... some water (from a waterfall or a shower or de rain) .... a feather .... but not from any ole yard fowl eh .... de feather need tuh be from a turkey .... or ah owl ..... den yuh need herbs dat could make smudgin smoke ..... oh and yuh might need some espsom salts too ....

So I out yuh know .... cuz right now I real need tuh take a shower .... AND ..... meh aura kyna lil @#$%-up too ..... so is two bird I goin' an' kill wit one stone ....
 
Feathers anyone?





PS:   .... could somebody please pass this article on tuh TSTT .... oh .... and take careful note of Tip No. 3 eh .... cuz DAT will  @#$%&-up  yuh aura fuh sure!!!

Things tuh say .... and nuttin tuh say it wit ....

Yep .... since Tuesday I doh have no internet .... and all TSTT could say is ....

WE WORKIN ON DE PROBLEM
WE DOH KNOW WHEN YUH GETTIN IT BACK
CALL US BACK!!!! (just keep calling us back every minute, every day like ah idiot)

JAH!!!

Say a prayer people .... say a prayer fuh de TSTT Technicians who clearly ketchin dey arse tuh fix de 'problem' .... and who probably gonna be takin de day off today (aka ah protest march tuh up dey 5%) ..... tuh set dis whole 'fixin de problem' shit back ah day!!!

Anyway ....

When yuh done ....

Go check out OUTLISH 

Cuz HELLO .... yuh gyul get big-up .... as in .... starrin at No. 1 on a list of 10 awesome Trini Bloggers .... an' ah know dat de writer say .... dat de list eh in no particular order .... but I am still totally lappin up de freudian slip of puttin wuzdescene at No. 1

Thanks Nicole Henry!

.... and Aye .... big-up tuh some of the other blogs that were mentioned .... that I totally read too ....

DE MRP

Fren come de odda day ..... an' start tuh tell meh about all kyna ting dat he have tuh get done ..... wit de main tings being ..... tuh open ah bank account (fuh he company) ..... and tuh get ah Machine Readable Passport ..... so ..... immediately .... I pull out paper .... and start tuh plot ah plan ..... wit de MRP scene starrin first ..... cuz really an' truly ..... all ah MRP really involve initially ..... is tuh make ah phone call ..... tuh get de appointment ..... which on de surface seemed pretty simple ..... but which actually started de ball of crap rollin ..... cuz me an' meh efficient self .... pull out some number dat I had from years gone by ..... and I promptly give fren tuh make he appointment call ..... only fuh he tuh end up gettin ah mehgeee ..... cuz yeah ..... apparently ..... de number I have ..... no longer valid ..... so ah tell him call directory assistance (6411) ..... and get de number fuh Immigration ..... cuz dey should have de new appointment number ..... and .... guess what ...... as soon as he say Immigration .... de Operator was like "is ah passport appointment yuh want tuh make?"

Long story short .... de new number is 627-7277 .... and appointments fuh Port of Spain reach October 2011 (and not 2 years away like how it was) .... but dat date was too far fuh fren ..... so fren .... who livin in Diego ..... take he appointment in Point Fortin instead .... fuh some time in July .... at some ungodly time .... like 7:00 .... in de mornin!



DE ID

Right .... so wit de MRP appointment duly made .... de next order of business was tuh organise all relevant documents etc. fuh ah smooth MRP process .... which include havin a valid ID card ....
 
Well .... guess what again .... fren ID expire!!
 
So .... with only about a month tuh play with ..... de very next day fren went down tuh de EBC office in Diego .... and organise tuh have de ID renewed .... again .... on de surface .... everything was seemin simple .... dey take he picture etc. .... an' tell him come back in about 2-3 weeks ....

Right .... so de 3 weeks pass now .... and fren gone back tuh de same Diego office .... only tuh find out dat dem pack up shop .... yep .... apparently dey doh operate there no more ..... and dey doh know when dey openin back .... so fren was then directed to their Scott House office on Frederick Street.

Gone down tuh de Scott House office now ..... get de new card ..... and fren discovers that his names appearin wrong ..... as in ..... his middle name was first .... and his first name was in de middle .... so of course yuh know what that meant!!!

Yep .... drama!! .... my boy was then instructed to return with his Computerised Birth Certificate AND de ole hand-written one .... at which time .... proceedings would then start a fresh .... tuh have a correct ID produced.

JAH!

So de next day now .... fren returns with his Computerised Birth Certificate only .... cuz he couldn't find de ole hand-written one .... and they then tell him .... that he'd have to get ah Affidavit tuh say dat he name is so-an-so and NOT so-an-so .... and den come back tuh dem wit de Affidavit sayin so!!

Long story short ..... ah ID renewal cost $10 or $20 ..... but ah Affidavit cost $120 ..... AND ..... the new corrected ID will now take at least one month tuh get .... which is exactly the time of the MRP appointment .... which is exactly what the ID is needed for in de first place .... JAH!!! ..... hopefully he gets it in time!!!



DE LEGAL AFFAIRS MINISTRY

Right .... so wit those two items down .... was just one more tuh go .... or so I thought .... cuz lawd .... who knew dat opening a bank account fuh ah company .... woulda be so much pressure!!!

Now since I once worked in a Bank .... and still kyna know a few peeps .... ah call up one ah meh links tuh find out de procedure tuh open ah company account ....

I was told that I'd need the company registration form or whatever de crap it is dey does give yuh at Legal Affairs .... so wit dah one now .... I advised fren who was confident that he had all the necessary documents .... however .... upon presenting what he had .... tuh de Bank .... they advised that what he had ..... is in fact just a 'receipt' and that he'd need to get the actual company registration form or whatever!

JAH!!

So .... I then called the number on the Legal Affairs receipt ..... a girl answered .... I gave her the story about wanting to open de account and what de Bank say etc. .... then I gave her the information on the receipt (like several times) .... then .... I was made to HOLD ON .... while Miss Thang went looking for the Company Registration Form ....

Then .... about an hour later (LOL that's how long it seemed) .... Miss Thang comes back to the phone and announces that she cyah find de Form .... and dat maybe is because de registration was done so long ago (2008) .... and dat I take too long tuh come back fuh it .... and dat maybe it archive somewhere or de odda .... and that I'd have to come in to them with the receipt ....

So yuh know me .... meh monkey glands start tuh raise .... an' I start tuh act dotish ....

Cuz here's what I wanted tuh know ..... which I DID ask!!! .... I wanted know if she coulda guarantee dat she woulda find de Form .... if I was there in person as opposed tuh being on de phone .... cuz Grrrrrrrrrrr??!!! .... in my dotish opinion .... dat requirement of me going in tuh them .... tuh waste time .... tuh watch dem look fuh de ting .... JUST MADE NO SENSE! ..... then ..... ah ask her if she cyah jus do ah copy .... to which she replied that I'd have to pay $20 .... AND .... they would still need to find the original!!!

Anyway .... long story short .... she insisted that she could do nothing more for me over the phone .... and that I would need to visit their office ..... with the receipt!!

So de next day now .... fren gorn down Legal Affairs (as instructed) .... only tuh be told .... PASS BACK LATER - WE STILL CYAH FIND IT!!! 

Well wit dah one .... it was a wrap! .... frustration kicked in .... and fren decided that he would prefer tuh waste time .... and gas .... and money .... yet another day .... instead of 'later' .... 

Well .... said day .... was yesteday ....

.... and check what dey tell him yesterday ....

PASS BACK TUESDAY (as in June 28) WE STILL CYAH FIND IT!!!

Yep .... no joke .... da'is what dey tell him ....

Now fren is ah real mellow soul eh .... so he jus calmly say he go pass back Tuesday .... while me now .... I start tuh ketch ah fit and almost buss ah blood vessel!!!!

Cuz what if dey never @#$%&* find de Form .... what de @#$%&* next????!!!!!!

And if there IS in fact some next step that can be taken .... then what de @#$%&* are they waiting on .... is it that they have a mandatory time period tuh look fuh shit before moving on and moving forward????

WTH?????

I can't wait fuh Tuesday!!! .... really .... I can't wait tuh hear what they come with next!!!

Anyway .... in keepin wit de Corpus Christi tradition of plantin ting .... look ting (that I found in ah friend's yard)







This is called African Voilet ... advised by Wizzy




This is Giant Star Potato Tree (Solanum Macranthum) ... advised by Danna




And this is Coral Vine ... advised by Wizzy

So de next different scene I end up on .... in de month of May ..... was Red Earth .....

Now fuh those of you who eh know ..... Red Earth is an annual Eco Arts Festival .... which is held at different bush venues around de country .... and when I say 'bush venues' .... I mean BUSH .... cuz is really an' truly ah kinda nature vibes scene ....

This year .... de Marianne Beach and River in Blanchisseuse was de spot .... with the theme Running Water .... dat ran from May 20 - 22 ..... and the programme of events included things like .... ah river clean-up .... and ah beach clean-up .... and nature walks/hikes .... and lil village arts and crafts .... wit ah clay workshop ..... and live unplugged music .... as in musicians/artistes performin in de bush wit few plugs ..... oh .... and yuh coulda star gaze too .... and moon gaze?? .... and camp ..... and watch turtles do their thing ..... den on de Sunday .... dey had ah big seafood festival (on de beach) ..... yep ..... is all ah dem tings was goin' orn dat weekend in Blanchisseuse!

Now .... not being an outdoorsy kinda gal .... I really wasn't too interested in makin de turn eh .... but .... by de time Friday (May 20) had roll around .... de maco in meh start tuh come out ..... an' ah decide right there and then .... dat ah was goin .... if only tuh take eeeeen de unplugged show .... and den go back home ....

So Saturday morning now .... at about 11:00 am .... after packin up de car wit ah small cooler .... some snacks .... a pillow .... a bathing suit and change of clothes .... some other basic necessities (in case ah get stranded) .... and crew ..... we headed out tuh Blanchisseuse ....

De drive was long and winding and sometimes bumpy .... but oh so gorgeous! .... and .... by the time we got to Spring Bridge in Blanchisseuse .... the sun was already blazing .... and peeps was already gathering ..... it was then that reality hit .... that we really fuh real had tuh HIKE tuh de performance space .....

Now fuh me .... de hike was cool .... but other peeps had tuh walk tru de bush totin instruments an' ting .... and altho it was a short hike .... there were parts dat was lil testy ..... but again .... oh so gorgeous!! .... the performance space was right next to the river ..... which was ah real jumbie ...... cuz oh gorm .... 'de space' was hottttt .... anyway .... the show kicked off maybe about 3:00 .... with a ritual blessing of 'de space' .... which was then followed by performances by many .... so many .... dat some had tuh cut dey set short .... so dat de show finish in de light .... I wuzen business tho .... after takin eeen a few of the acts .... I was in de water .... an' watch meh .... I eh tink it have anyting as refreshin as cold-ass river water .... it was da bomb!!!

After de show done now ...... everybody start tuh make dey way outta de bush .... tuh head tuh de beach ..... by which time .... it was done dark .... so I eh have tuh tell yuh .... dat when we reach de beach .... de place pitch black ..... not ah light in sight!! ..... actually ..... was more like ..... not ah shit in sight ..... so see us now .... walkin tru de dark shoutin out peeps names tuh try an' link up .....

Eventually .... we end up finidin fren who had done secure a cool spot near de shore ..... wit he hammock tie-up on two coconut tree ..... so ..... wit dah one .... we set up shop right dey too ..... and then headed straight fuh de nearby shop fuh food ....

A  A  ..... so after eatin we belly full now .... we gone back by we make-shift camp ..... only tuh be greeted by flyin SAND .... yep .... one big-ass turtle decide dat right under fren hammock .... was de bess place tuh lay eggs ..... so see us now .... like bloody imps .... tryin tuh see de turtle do her thing .... in the dimmest of light .... cuz yuh know yuh not suppose tuh shine no light on dem ..... I was in awe ..... an' is not like I never saw dat before eh ..... cuz I have (at Grande Riviere) .... but like it was more awesome the second time around ...... an' I doh know if it was because the turtle was right next to me .... or if it was its size (MASSIVE!) .... cuz seeing and feeling it (i.e. sand pelting at us) was just indescribable .... actually .... there were many other turtles along the beach .... looking like big, black, monsters! ..... our turtle chilled fuh a while .... and then made her way back to the water .... I doh even know if she end up layin any egg!

It was after the turtle scene ..... that I reaslied that I would not be heading back to Diego .... and that I would in fact end up ..... SLEEPING ON THE BEACH .... yes .... yuh read right .... I slept on the beach .... and when I say say SLEPT .... ah doh mean dat ah CAMP eh ..... I mean ..... I slept on ah sheet ..... covered by another sheet (and insect repellant) .... on de hard ground ..... in de open ..... in de cold ..... surrounded by nuff insects ..... a few stray dogs .... and yeah .... random turtles!!

JAH!!!!

The next morning .... I awakened to some shit drippin on me .... from de coconut trees we were sleeping under ..... and of course de shit had tuh drip at no other time .... dan like flickin 6:00 in de mornin .... so yeah .... I was up .... and in pain from sleepin on de hard ground .... and cold ..... and itchin all over from bug bites ..... and hungry ...... and dyin tuh pee ..... wit nowhere tuh brush my teeth .... and in the midst of a huge turtle egg massacre .... yeah .... apparently during the night .... creatures or whatever .... dug-up and destroyed some of the eggs .... it was gross!!!

Needless tuh say ...... ah was lil disoriented ..... and by de time ah actually ketch mehself ..... peeps was done havin breakfast by some guys dey had meet on de beach de night before .... yeah ..... ah Chef (Raymond Lowe) an' he padnas ..... so .... I eh have tuh tell yuh how breakfast was .... de man make some kinda fish and chicken ting tuh eat wit bread .... and den after dat he cook fish wit pineapple in foil on a grill .... lawd .... when ah tell yuh dat ting taste sweet .... we end up limin with de man whole mornin .... listenin tuh his life stories .... eatin he food .... and just vibesin ....

After de food .... we went back tuh 'de space' .... fuh ah lagniappe dip in de river .... and by 12:00 noon we were on our way back tuh Diego .... so unfortunately .... we didn't actually make it tuh de Seafood Festival .... but .... there's always next year .... cuz after dis year ..... ah feel ah goin' back!  

Anyway ..... ah tired typin ..... so look some pics ....


ON DE WAY TUH DE SHOW



A Church in Blanchisseuse .... saw this on the way to Spring Bridge ....




This is just before Spring Bridge ....




.... and this is Spring Bridge (our very own Golden Gate ) ..... this is where we parked .... tuh head tuh 'de space' .... tuh take eeeeen de show .....




Hikin tuh 'de space' .... and no .... that's not me in the pic




Ritual blessing of the performance space by dude in the blue .... I can't remember his name ....



SOME OF THE PERFORMERS



Tambu Bamb??? .... I think that's what they're called ....








From the talented Blackman family




Gyazette




Buzz Rock











Collis Duranty




Shakila




Mr. Shak




Ataklan




Maximus Dan



AFTER DE SHOW 



A bamboo bench ...




This panside greeted us when we came out of de bush tuh head tuh de beach ....




The hammock ..... Sunday morning .... kinda looks like a smiley doesn't it?




De two coconut trees dat de hammock was tie-up on ...




De coconut tree dat was drippin ..... yes ..... de one dat wake meh up ....




Some people slept in those .... I wasn't so lucky .....




De insect repellant dat was my best friend fuh de nite ....




A beautiful flower in de Marianne River .....




De Marianne River ....




De Marianne Beach ....




De Marianne Beach again .... I love this shot .... it's so postcard-ish ....




This is in de bush ..... like if yuh headin tuh 3 Pools .....




Bamboo .... glorious Bamboo! .... another shot I love ....




A red flower ....




A white flower ....




Yeah .... da'is de session we didn't have time tuh tess ....


PS:  Happy Father's Day tuh all my daddy peeps!

I been sufferin from ah severe case of ..... blogger's block ..... and I don't know why really ..... cuz is real scenes I does be on! .... an' is real ting I could easily write about ..... but den again ..... maybe dat IS why ah not writin ..... maybe is because ah does be on too much ah damn scenes!!! 

Now ah know dat we done in de middle of June eh .... but ah feel ah want talk lil bit about May ..... cuz May was a month of firsts fuh me ....

Yeah .... cuz right after returning from Tobago .... I had tuh go back again ..... fuh ah wedding .... and it wasn't just a wedding eh .... it was the joining together of a Trini (Redman Rasta) and a Pakistani-American (Muslim) ..... which happened over two days .... with the first day being the don yuh indian garb and behave yuhself day .... and the second day being the free-up yuhself on de beach day ..... yep ..... it was my first beach wedding ..... and it was simply awesome .... cuz whoa .... the weather .... and the ambience ..... and the beach ..... Pigeon Point ..... was real on point .... and de dress-down wit footwear fuh de sand scene was just GREAT ..... and then there was the whole Tobago factor .... which really an' truly .... woulda make anyting GREAT ..... cuz hear nah ..... Tobago eh playin it sweet nah .... it sweet too bad!!! .... an' lawd .... doh talk fuh de house we stay in ..... Tobago Plantations yuh win!


TOBAGO PLANTATIONS














PIGEON POINT BEACH










CAFE MELANGE RESTAURANT




Right .... so dat was Tobago ....

Some days after dat now .... I experienced yet another first ..... when ah end up on Tyrico Beach .... at 12:30 in de AM .... yes ..... 12:30 in de mornin ..... which is also 12:30 in de nite!!  ..... and de joke is ..... up tuh now .... I still doh know how dat happen ..... cuz there I was .... couch potato-in it watchin TV .... when fren call tuh say dat crew an' crew headin tuh de beach .... I was like Grrrrrrrrr .... WTA allyuh goin' an' do on de beach dis hour of de nite .... anyway .... long story short ..... ah reach .... we lime .... it was real cool .... an den we end up in El Socorro .... by some Doubles Factory .... which was another first ..... cuz before dat nite .... I never knew that Doubles Factories exist .... and when ah say factory .... is really ah annex behind ah house eh .... but operatin jus like ah factory fuh real ...... wit crew cookin in some big-ass pots dat I an' all coulda fit in!!! ..... ah reach home muzbe bout 5:00 dat mornin .... but it was all good .... cuz yuh really cyah go wrong wit late nite sand, sea, Stag and doubles!





Right .... so dat was dat .....

Ah tired writin .... so ah gorn ....

But ... stay tuned fuh Part 2 of dis long-ass post

I doh know what it is goin orn wit me lately .... cuz I jus not findin de time tuh do nuttin!! .... it so bad .... dat I eh read ah newspaper in weeks .... yeah .... if you see newspapers was pilin up in my house .... an' when ah tell yuh .... it hurt meh .... yeah .... jus seein dat pile of newspapers bein' topped-up every day .... by two!! .... and none ah dem not even makin it outta de plastic bag ... or de rubber band ..... was painful ..... cuz about 3 days ago .... I had was tuh dump about $100 worth in unread newspapers ....

.... ah whole hundred dollars!!! ....jess so ..... trow way!!!!



So right now .... me eh know shit goin' orn in de country ....

But watch meh .... even tho I eh indulgin in de dotishness (aka readin papers) .... de dotishness still findin its way tuh meh .... cuz look what I get in my email today .....



Now ..... my understanding is ..... if you is ah CHOW GURU .... it means dat you is ah borse at making chow .....

What I don't understand ..... is de Corn Soup (Chow??) ..... an' de Boiled Corn on Cub (Chow??) ..... cuz Grrrrrr ...... what de arse is BOILED CORN ON CUB??? ..... what kinda Cub yuh gettin de corn on??!!

An' ah know ..... dat a CHOW GURU .... doh necessarily have tuh be ah SPELLING GURU .... but oh gorm .... why go de professionalism route .... of having a professionally printed sign done ..... and not employ de services of ah professional SIGN GURU?!
 
CHOW GURU .... take ah red marker and close-up de U nah!!