So I readin papers dis morning ..... when ah bounce up dat nice colourful picture .....

It ketch meh eye fuh two reasons ...... one ..... I LOVE ZABOCA ..... and I'm happy dat dey in season ..... and two ..... why was dat little boy out on de road sellin zaboca ..... where his parents?!

Then ...... I read the caption ..... and the accompanying article  ...... and .....

WHAT??? ...... is $50 fuh ah Zaboca??!!  ...... fuh real?!

I still tryin tuh pick up meh jaw from de ground!!

PS:  ..... anybody have ah zaboca tree?? ..... holla at ah sista

Every now and then ..... I am pleasantly surprised ...... by new and improved looking blogs .....

So last nite ..... I ketch ah vaps ..... and decide tuh revamp mine ...... not no big ting eh ..... ah just re-arrange de sidebar ...... cuz that's all I really know how tuh do!

So I moved the CALENDAR to the top ...... cuz the date is always important ..... especially if is ah public holiday!

Then I re-worded the SUBSCRIBE section ...... and placed it right below the Calendar ...... cuz subscribing is the second most important thing on this blog ..... de more subscribers ...... de hotter I go look!

Then right below the subscribe ...... I finally included my EMAIL ADDRESS ..... which doh necessarily mean dat yuh have tuh email meh eh (BIG UP tuh Keston who done email meh ahready) ..... cuz I eh really ah email person ..... ah really include meh email ..... so peeps would have de correck address ..... when dey want tuh invite meh tuh dey band launch ..... or fuh if peeps want tuh tell meh dat dey have a gift fuh meh ..... or a prize ...... or money!!!

I edited the BLOGROLL ..... removing some blogs dat was comin up bogus ..... and reinstatin one ...... altho ..... it have some dat eh sayin nuttin fuh de longest while ..... dat shoulda get leave out too ..... and might very well get leave out on de next rounds ..... you know who you are!

In de near future ..... when ah replenish meh patience ..... I will arrange the blog names in alphabetical order ..... and maybe add a few more that I maco .....

I re-worded de MACO DIS BLOG scene ...... oh ..... and just a little tip here ..... if yuh ever doin ah search ..... do de Advanced search one time ..... cuz de basic search is real BOOO!

And last but certainly not least ..... I moved the MACO TnT ..... nearer tuh de RADIO ..... and we NEWSPAPERS ..... jus tuh keep all de TnT tings together!

Fuh now ..... I eh tink ah puttin anyting else ..... cuz I doh really like tuh see too much ting all over de place ..... oh ...... an' ah stayin ORANGE too .....

Right ..... so da'is dat .......

De next ting ah want tuh discuss ..... is errors .....

Now it eh no secret dat I does thrive on crappin on errors ...... errors in de papers ...... on de TV ...... on de Radio ...... on de road ....... everywhere ....... heck shit ..... if wuzen fuh errors ...... dis blog wouldn't exist ..... so ...... what I doh understand ....... is why it is ..... when I make ah mistake ...... like ah typo or sumtin ...... nobody doh point it out!! ..... you know how much times I readin back ting ..... and see errors!!! ...... oooooops ..... wait ..... dat didn't sound too good ..... OK what I really mean is ..... on the very rare occasion ...... I does type chupidness too ..... like de odda day when ah had post de fireworks pics ...... an' ah type ...... looks some virtual fireworks ..... looks???? ...... clearly dat was ah typo and not dialect ...... an' nobody eh say nuttin ..... and OK ..... ah know yuh muzbe tinkin ..... dat yuh eh go say nuttin ...... cuz next ting yuh know ..... do so doh like so ...... well ..... HELLO ...... de next time yuh spot ah blatant error ...... I want tuh know! ..... tank you!  (yuh could use meh email fuh dat too!)

OK ..... I think I covered everything ..... so ..... tuh end off dis long-ass post ...... look ah lil classifieds lagniappe ...... tings ah had see in de papers de day after de first dose!




Lawd ...... dis reekin of jailbait!




First tuh begin ...... how dem could make your chile an A+ student ..... when dey doh even know dat AN does go before ah vowel ......




Eh?? ...... back in my day ..... if yuh was havin academic problems ..... yuh used tuh either get licks ..... or go fuh extra lessons after school ...... what is ah academic counselor?




What??? ...... best learning programme ..... IN WHAT?




Good lord ...... NO! ...... a new chutney soca band?! ...... say it isn't so!!!




Hmmmm ..... a hotel fuh crooks ..... LOL ..... probably wasn't de best name tuh choose!




I doh even know what tuh say about dis one ..... DO NOT SHACK-UP is hilarious!




LOL ...... big up yuhself Mr. Tutor!




Unless dey massagin yuh into ah delish dessert ..... and den eatin yuh ..... dis sticky shit doh make no sense!!!




Japan staff????




DUH ..... is it that I'm reading this ad dotish ..... cuz I just don't get it!




Book now??!! ..... I do this every day in my shower!




Really ...... secondary education needed ....... tuh do dat?!



PS:  ..... in case ah doh logon again before Monday ...... Happy Labour Day tuh all my US Trini peeps!

So here I was ...... on this here blog ..... chainin-up peeps tuh go tuh de Digicel Outta Control concert ...... when I mehself eh reach yet! ..... an' is not like ah didn't want tuh go yuh know ...... is jus dat yesterday was so bloody hottttt and sweaty ...... that when fren call tuh tell meh ...... dat de concert goin orn on TV ...... dat was it fuh me ...... it was music tuh my ears ..... and I immediately set up shop on de couch ..... 

Until about 7:00 pm ...... when de TV coverage had done ...... and fren call back tuh suggest someting tuh eat .....

I end up by KFC in St. James (took 30 minutes tuh get ah box ah dead!!!) ...... and then in King George V park ...... yep ...... cuz apparently yuh coulda chill in de park tuh watch de Independence fireworks ...... which is someting I was not intending tuh go to at all ..... cuz first tuh begin ...... I had no desire tuh try tuh brave de tizzickness by de Savannah ..... and den ...... I find if yuh see one fireworks display ...... yuh seen dem all!

But ..... at 9:00 pm ...... after waiting like 45 minutes fuh de ting tuh start ...... it turned out tuh be so worth it ...... cuz I was totally able tuh use my FIREWORKS setting on my camera ..... which I'd never used before .....

I was like ah real lil chile ..... only ooooohin and ahhhhhhin at every explosion ..... cuz WOW ...... dat camera was takin out some pics ...... of tings dat I didn't even see wit meh naked eyes ......

Anyway ..... fuh those who didn't make it ..... look some virtual fireworks ..... yuh miss out!

LOL ...... I could relate!

These days ...... it jus have too much ting tuh talk about .....

• Is de $4000 HP laptops fuh dem 20,000+ chirren
• Is de $3000 pension dat de Government eh payin
• Is Jack sayin who vex lorse ..... hang every man jack
• Is de million dollar salaries dat dem Canadians callin (while de murder toll rapidly growin - 344) 
• Is de Acting CoP gettin sen home early
• Is people on de road still crashin and dyin
• Is rain still fallin ..... and everywhere floodin
• Is de newly appointed Mayor of POS keepin heself in de news ...... by now suing a former manager of de late Michael Jackson!?
• Is Trinis claimin dat dey eh have no money ..... but buyin out dem 2011 carnival costumes in minutes ..... and talkin about no money ..... one DIEGO man win de $13,000,000.00 Lotto last week .... an' he say he plannin tuh give away plenty tuh Charity (ah wonder who he be .... and if he know dat my middle name is Charity)

Anyway ...... right now ...... I eh feelin tuh tink about none ah dem ting ..... cuz tomorrow is ah holiday ...... an' ah tryin tuh keep it light ..... so look some classifieds!




No wonder he had tuh put eeeen "No male callers" ...... cuz ATTRACTIVE??? ..... since when are men 'attractive'? ..... or is it dat de newspaper put de word in de wrong place ..... cuz I feel it was supposed tuh say ...... Indian male seeks ATTRACTIVE Indian female!




..... and why would an ATTRACTIVE YOUNG lady ..... want tuh hook-up wit ah middle-aged man who eh want tuh play no games ...... duh ...... that's what attractive young women like ..... they like tuh play games!




LOL ...... 'bess' girls only .....




LOL ..... what a cute way tuh describe telemarketing!




Really ...... was it necessary tuh say ..... females only???




What is a CHRISTINA Institution?




Hmmmm ...... herbs fuh Fryball and Prostate Cancer ..... but what exactly is FRYBALL tho ...... is it like a FIBROID ..... or is it literally ah ...... FRY BALL???






I'm noticing that word INTUITIVE a lot ..... is that like the new EXPERIENCED?!




What??? ...... what is the inception experience????




Or hor ...... that is what THE INCEPTION EXPERIENCE is!!!!!




Free Parking?! ...... is that really a plus?? ...... do people pay tuh park dey car whey dey livin?




I saw this in yesterday's papers ....... and immediately thought ..... KIDNAP ...... cuz what else could GUARANTEE ..... dat you go get back yuh man ..... or yuh woman??!




Then I saw this in today's papers ..... and it was confirmed ...... it IS kidnap ..... cuz if you notice ..... de phone number changin by de day!!!!




What is it ...... dat hands could do ..... dat so special ...... dat will cost yuh ah whole $350!??




Whoever wrote this ad ..... need tuh go tuh MOM'S FOR LITERACY below ......




Oh ..... and by de way MOM ...... if de name of yuh company isn't MOM ...... den you may need tuh register fuh some literacy classes too!!!




There's that LOOSE word again ...... and that IDEAL word misspelt ...... an' wait ..... what's up wit all de "D" names ..... like yuh hadda have ah "D" name an' ah Digicel number tuh wuk dey!!!




Dis wasn't in de classifieds ...... but again ..... LOOSE ..... there it is!!!




Ah doh understand dat first ad ..... is it dat ..... besides being female ..... and strong ..... she must also own ah house ...... and den wuz de scene wit grandpa in de next ad ...... is it that he is of African DESCENT ....... or is it that he is AFRICAN and DECENT?? ....... and why he female ...... hadda be employed ...... I doh know ..... I jus gettin ah vibes like dem lookin fuh woman tuh mine dem!!!




Ah wonder how yuh does UNWINE!?




Swingers??? ...... no comment!




Gotcha ...... but seriously tho ..... how do ads end up as wingdings?




Hmmmm ..... I'm thinking that the person who input all dem classifieds ...... may be FRASTRATED ..... and should probably apply!




Ah wonder if tuh forward this tuh de Minister of Education ...... could save him alotta money!



PS:  Happy Independence Day peeps! ...... look ah bess show tuh check out tomorrow!

So fuh de past few days ...... everywhere yuh turn ..... yuh was bound tuh bounce up ...... somebody spewin spew ...... about Miss Trinidad and Tobago 2010 (La Toya Woods) ...... posin nekked ..... wit only two pasties on she bresss ...... and body paint coverin little else ......

Me now ...... not being one tuh judge nobody ...... I didn't have nuttin tuh say ..... cuz if was me ...... and I had ah body like she ..... and Donald Trump was payin fuh me tuh get professional pictures fuh free ...... heck shit ...... I woulda pose naked too! ..... but den again ...... da'is jus me!

Anyway ..... so she do she ting ..... an' she get some attention ..... even goin' on Access Hollywood and sayin dat is she body ..... and how now she feelin 'liberated'!! ..... yeah ..... jus so ..... overnight ...... my gyul went from hott Trini ...... tuh hott Universe celebrity ...... tings was so nice wit she ...... dat some website dat does track and follow dem Miss Universe contestants ...... had she down as No. 1 at one point ..... an' yuh know us Trinis ...... from de time we see dat ..... we start tuh speculate one time ...... dat fuh sure we gyul woulda come eeeeen de top 15!!

Well ....... guess what ...... is ah good ting my gyul ramajay sheself wit she 15 minutes of fame ..... cuz tonight ..... dem Miss Universe judges didn't fart on Miss Trinidad and Tobago 2010 ...... and why ...... I guess we'll never know ..... cuz I find de gyul look real HOTTT!!!

Anyway ..... look we gyul in all she Miss Universe glory ..... fuh all of 2 seconds ..... paradin in she hottt costume ......





Right ..... so moving right along ..... did y'all see OUR last Miss Universe ..... Miss Universe 1998 ...... Wendy Fitzwilliam ....... on MINUTE TO WIN IT?? ...... she was part of ah past beauty queens crew (USA queens and Miss Universe queens) ...... competing tuh win $100,000 fuh dey chosen charity ...... and we gyul end up being one of de final three!!!

Now ah had really read about it in de papers eh ..... that is ..... dat she was gonna be on de show ..... but of course yuh know me ..... I clean forget bout dat ..... is only because ah was gapin ..... lookin tru de channels ...... tuh see which channel Miss Universe was showin on ...... dat ah end up bouncin up Minute to Win It ...... which is a show dat does have my stomach gripin ...... altho dis beauty queens one wasn't so intense ..... but ..... it was still real cool ...... especially cuz Miss Trinidad and Tobago was really standin out ..... and I mean ...... standing out ...... as in ...... she was lookin real tall ..... and she was de only darkie addin ah lil colour tuh de scene ...... an' yuh know we gyul had tuh hit dem some tru trini Wendy charm ..... ahhhhh ...... I was watchin de show like ah real imps ...... tryin tuh keep meh hand steady tuh record it ...... and at de same time ..... beaming wit patriotic pride ....

Fuh Trinidad and Tobago ..... tonight was kinda bittersweet ..... cuz one Miss Trini definitely bombed ...... but the other was surprisingly ...... da bomb!!!

Check out Wendy gettin orn on MINUTE TO WIN IT .....




De show started off wit ten ...... but I only started recording when was seven left ...... cuz by dat time ah had realise dat we gyul was serious!!




...... den it went down tuh six .....




...... dis video is just de continuation of de one above ...... is still six ah dem ......




...... den it went down tuh five ah dem .....




..... now it down tuh 4 of dem ...... check out Wendy social HARTS jump an' wine at de end when she get tru!




..... dis is when de ting start tuh get hott ..... cuz was jus three of dem left .....




...... and den ..... we gyul get lick-up ...... but was no scene ...... cuz we gyul real represent!



PS:  ..... tuh de local Miss Universe franchise holders ..... yuh ever hear de sayin ..... dat ah good workin ole ting ..... better dan ah new ting any day?! ..... well ..... next time ..... doh bother tuh waste no money lookin fuh ah new Miss TnT ...... jus RECYCLE like Jamaica ..... yeah ..... cuz look how good Miss Jamaica do last nite ...... she come 2nd ...... and she is ah 'recycle' ...... who been representin Jamaica in all kyna ting ...... fuh years now!!!

So today ..... I home ..... minding my own business as usual ..... when knock knock ...... ah Zodeak Calendar come walkin tru my door!

Now since de odda day ..... I had done tell myself ..... dat me eh callin YUMA name in my mout again ..... but ..... yuh know me ..... two three days later ..... I boil down like bahji ..... cuz at de end of de day ...... Iz ah lover ..... not a fighter ..... I cyah stay vex fuh long ..... and tuh besides ..... a girl could always use ah extra calendar in de third quarter of de year!!!

So ..... I gracioulsy accepted my calendar ..... and placed it as a centrepiece on my dining room table!

A  A ...... 9:30 tonight now ..... my cell phone start tuh chime ..... wit a text message sayin ..... de website up  ..... go check it out!

Now allyuh see how ting does happen eh ...... I does be home ..... and ting does jus come tuh me!

Anyway ...... at de time when ah get de text ...... ah was otherwise occupied ....... but macociousness was so jumbie-in meh ...... dat ah overs what ah was doin ..... an' ah jump on meh computer!

So ah on de website now ...... and de first ting ah jump to ..... is de costumes (of course) ..... and WHOA ..... what ah tief-head ..... yuh could zoom in on de costume ..... yuh could jus watch it like ah picture ...... or yuh could watch it spinnin ..... yes ..... dey set up de ting so yuh could see all around ..... in ah 360 degree video ....... from de top of each feather ...... right down tuh de tip of dey shin!!!!

Well ..... dat was it fuh me ..... FANTABULOUS I thought ..... cuz I never see dat kinda ting on ah carnival website before ..... I was sold ..... yeah ...... dat alone impress me ...... I was like ah real lil never-see come-see chile ..... jus clickin clickin ..... lookin at breast and bumsee spinnin spinnin .....

Den when ah get fed-up of doin dat ...... ah went and maco de odda tabs ..... which also impressed me ...... cuz nowhere had any kinda flowery shit ...... like what yuh does see on some of dem odda carnival websites (*cough* IP *cough*) ...... everyting was nice and clean ..... even de look of de website was nice and clean ..... no setta clutter ..... not setta extra dotishness ..... tuh make yuh go cokey-eye when yuh lookin fuh ting!

Now I find dat when ah band ..... launch ...... dey website should launch de next day eh ..... but dem videos definitely make up fuh de 10 day delay ...... anyway ..... nuff said ..... go check it out  yuhself  ..... oh ...... and you may want tuh turn down de volume on yuh compter ...... cuz oh gorm ..... dat music ..... mind numbing!

And fuh those of you who are not as fortunate as de Scene ..... look ah calendar ...... go put it on yuh desktop!

Ah have dis rastaman fren ..... who swear by washin he dreadlocks in de spring ...... and I'm thinking that that may be a rastaman ting ...... cuz he's not de only rastaman I know who does do dat ..... he say whenever he go tuh de spring ..... he does leave feelin renewed and revitalised ..... and ready fuh de day!

So dis morning now ..... when he jumbie meh ..... tuh go down in de Tucker Valley spring wit him ...... ah went ...... cuz honestly ..... after all dem yumaBADvibes yesterday ..... I mehself coulda do wit ah lil renewal too!

Now I didn't bathe in de spring eh ...... I bathed my senses ..... wit de bush ..... and oh what a bush bath it was ..... de place is just awesome ..... the sun was out ..... the air was clean ..... everything was rich green ...... and even the lil trek tuh de spring was fun!
 
However ..... de lil road tuh get tuh de spring is de worse ...... and de spring itself ..... well ..... it was kinda so-so ...... I mean ..... I just find ...... dat after hearing about dis spring fuh years ..... and den finally meeting it ...... it coulda be ah lil more dramatic ..... or if not dramatic ..... just ah lil MORE ..... and oh gorm ..... dat PVC pipe dat dey put on it tuh help de water flow .....ugh ...... de ting totally take away from de whole nature aesthetic!

Ah glad ah make de turn tho ..... cuz it really was a kinda calming experience ..... which btw didn't last too long ...... cuz the rains eventually came ..... and we had to leave .... oh .... but on the way out .... the rain was so heavy that we end up shelterin in an old bunker ..... wit ah setta lil chirren ..... yep ..... while we were running out ..... children were running in ..... and we all converged in de bunker .... looked like some kinda holiday camp or sumtin .....

Anyway ..... as I said ..... fren went tuh wet he hair ..... and I went tuh whet my senses! ..... look de scenes that did it .......


BAMBOO, BAMBOO AND MORE BAMBOO

Bear with me wit all these bamboo pics .... I just LOVE Bamboo!














A RIVER RUNS THROUGH IT









FLOWERS OF DE BUSH















SIGNS THAT ...

.... need changing




..... litterbugs were around




..... humans make ah cook





THE SPRING

.... yeah .... that's it .... the straight water line .... is what's flowing out of de PVC pipe!











THE BUNKER






INSIDE THE BUNKER

Graffiti and more graffiti .... if yuh look good .... yuh might see some naked women too ....




















ON THE WAY OUT

.... loved that spiral lookin ting ..... like a big, tick rope ..... how de heck dem vines make dat?!




..... and that is the access 'road' .....




..... so of course we had tuh take ah side fuh dat Maxi .....




..... de ole church

So last nite I went tuh bed as WUZDESCENE ...... dat lil insignificant narcissitic idiot blogger ..... who eh really have no life ...... and who does read papers whole day ..... and crap on de shit in it  ..... and who does every now an' den ..... leave de hermit world dat she livin in ..... and venture out into de real world ...... and crap on shit dey too!!!

Then .....

Dis morning now ..... strangely ...... I get up as ...... Perez Hilton! ...... a narcissistic idiot blogger too ...... who real like tuh gossip ..... and real like tuh out people (mainly celebrities) an' ting ...... and who does get real flack fuh doin it!

...... and how did this happen you ask?

Well ..... yesterday ..... I write a post about YUMA and dey band launch ...... and apparently ...... a certain X Miss TnT ..... who name get call ...... didn't like what I say bout she ..... actually ..... leh meh doh butter it up ..... in her own words ..... she is today ...... VERY VERY VERY EXTREMELY unhappy!!!!

..... and how do I know this you ask?

*Sigh* ..... because meh blasted phone only blasted vibratin whole blasted day ..... if it eh ah text ..... is ah call!!!

Now I eh goin an' add no fuel tuh de fire ....... and post de acutal text or BBM dat she been sendin out tuh de Universe ..... cuz dat eh go make no sense ..... as far as she concern ..... I was wrong ...... and as far as I concern ..... two wrongs doh make ah right!!

...... so exactly what was I wrong about you ask?

Well ..... according tuh X Miss TnT ..... I was wrong ..... because she DID email me!!! ..... and I never replied ..... I was wrong because she also tweeted ..... and I never replied (I not on twitter) ...... I was wrong ...... because clearly she did her job to the best of her ability ...... and by simply and nonchalantly stating that I never heard from her ..... she felt like I was attacking her efficiency ..... and bashing her good name and good reputation ..... which ..... apparently ..... as of yesterday ..... was a  perfectly unblemished PR reputation ...... so simply put ...... tuh her ..... is like I real @#$%-up she scene!!!

Now here's the thing about us narcissistic idiots ......

Sometimes ..... we really doh tink about other people ...... sometimes we does jus be in our own little world ...... in we own self-important bubble ..... sometimes ...... de entire country could be floodin out ..... and all we studyin still ..... is WE ..... cuz altho everything I wrote was FACT .... and not GOSSIP ..... or FICTION ...... altho I accepted the fact that clearly shit happened ..... not once did I stop tuh tink that mentioning it ....... woulda cause de complete crumble of X Miss TnT's PR career!!! ...... because again .....

IT WAS ALL ABOUT ME!!!!

...... it was about ME being silly at the prospect of somebody
       actually wanting to invite me to someting!
 
...... it was about ME feelin like a bloggin celebrity!
 
...... it was about ME getting BLANK in de end!!
 
...... it was about ME laughing at ME!!!


...... It was never about YOU ..... X Miss TnT!!!
 

But yuh know what ..... every day we learn someting new ..... and as I always say ..... feelings aren't right or wrong ..... they're just that ..... FEELINGS .....

So what exactly did we learn today you ask?

Well fuh starters ......
 
YUh cyah play MAs an' fraid powder!
(I accept that some people will get peeved at what I write)

and secondly .....
 
Shit happens
(whether an email was sent to me or not ...... I DID NOT GET IT!)

Trust me X Miss TnT ..... it ain't dat bad ..... anybody can bounce back from a supposed 'scandal' like this ..... all yuh need is some good PR!



PS:  By special request ..... I have removed the name of said PISS-EE!

..... and I say 'kinda' ..... cuz what de arse was dat CAPRICORN costume?! ...... Capricorn suppose tuh turn yuh orn ...... not make yuh scorn! ...... I was real excited tuh see what dey woulda do wit my sign ..... but ugh ..... wha de hell!? ..... I vex!

Anyway ..... ah jumpin de gun ..... leh meh start from de top .....

Now everybody know ...... dat I eh no mas critic ...... an' ah doh even play mas ..... de lass time I play mas was in 2005 ..... so ..... when I go band launch an' ting ..... is mainly fuh de lime ...... and tuh maco lil bit ...... I eh no serious mas reviewer ..... like Saucy  ..... and Afro Chic  ...... and Carnival Jumbie ..... me eh care if de costume make wit feather ..... or pleather!

But ..... reviewer or not ..... yuh know I always have ah 'view' ..... which after gettin meh chops sweeten-up ..... turned out tuh be one from de general crowd ...... and not from front stage!

An' ah know yuh doh understand shit dat ah jus say eh ..... so leh meh explain .....

Last week Wednesday ..... at exactlcy 7:10 am ..... I get ah text sayin dat YUMA want ah contact fuh me ..... cuz like dey want tuh invite meh tuh dey band launch .....

I now ..... I get confuse ...... cuz me eh know de person who was askin ..... an' she eh know me ..... so ah call fren (who sen meh de text) tuh investiquire de scene ..... only tuh find out ..... dat it is not ME she wanted ah contact for ...... was WUZDESCENE!!!!

Well look ting ..... immediately yuh gyul start tuh like sheself ...... cuz was like SCENE REACH!!!

..... so ah promptly give fren meh email address tuh pass on  ...... cuz dat is pips I was not about tuh pass up ......

A  A  ..... so Thursday reach now ...... an' every minute ah only checkin checkin meh email .....

Friday reach ...... ah still checkin meh email .....

Saturday reach ..... ah check it again .....

Sunday reach now ...... de day of de launch ..... and finally ...... SALT!!!! ..... no email ...... well meh bubble get good buss ..... cuz yeah ..... either de email get lorse in cyberspace ...... or Ms. Thang jus overs me ..... but ...... was no scene ...... cuz lucky fuh me ...... ah have a Young Upwardly Mobile Adult fren ..... who had handle meh from before ..... an' she handle meh right up too ...... even deliverin meh 'Me and Guest' invite directly tuh meh door .....





So wit invite in hand ..... outfit organise ..... money scrape up ...... and 'Guest' chain up ...... was time tuh head out ..... tuh The Greens in de Oval ..... a place I never hear about before ...... and a place dat I woulda never tink could accommodate ah party ...... 

So we reach dong de road now ...... at about 8:45 pm ...... an' it eh have no parkin ...... yep ..... King George wasn't available fuh parkin ...... so cars was park all over de place ...... it was so ram out ..... dat we end up parkin quite by Drink Wine Bar ......

Anyway ..... after taking a cool walk (in 5" heels) ..... from Drink Wine Bar ...... tuh de western side of de Oval ....... we finally reach de entrance ..... which was real easy breezy ...... cuz I guess by that time everybody who was suppose tuh be there ...... was done already inside ..... so we walk tru de scaffoldin ting ...... de people by de door take de invite ..... den dey check someting or de odda on dey computer ..... and then they proceeded to put NO BAND on our wrists?! (hmmm ..... clearly I wasn't handled as right up as I thought!) ..... den we had tuh walk down ah tunnel ting ...... and tank de lawd dat there was light at de end (which was de actual party area) ..... as in ...... ah concrete floor ....... cuz I really tort ..... that that name ...... The Greens ...... meant we woulda be walkin on bush!!!

But back tuh de wrist band scene ..... apparently de bands was fuh a free drinks bar ..... which was ah kyna elevated tent ting as yuh enter de party ..... I guess it was a VIP section ...... fuh VIPs ...... like DE PRESIDENT who believe it or not ..... still partyin ..... and playin mas an' ting!!!





Right ...... so we on de inside now ...... and that's what we see ...... real people ....... and de stage ...... real far away!! ...... one time I start tuh study how de arse I gonna get pics from so far away!? ...... but I eh really dig nuttin ..... cuz at least de show didn't start yet ..... an' ah had time tuh scope out de scene ...... of course over a drink ...... which was another scene itself ..... cuz wow ..... de bars was real tizzick ...... by de time we get tru ...... was time fuh de show tuh start .....

So wit showtime announced over de PA ..... ah walk up de side ..... tuh see how de front was lookin ...... and lo and behold ..... it was real easy ...... no kyna hot and sweaty ramness or nuttin ...... so ah set up shop right in de front ...... well ..... actually ...... left in de front!

De show start now ...... and de first ting we go see is ah setta smoke ...... like if de place bunnin down ...... so of course when de first model come out on de stage ..... all yuh seein is smoke .... wit a hint of a human!? ...... needless tuh say ..... ah get lil peeved ...... cuz my camera eh have no SMOKE setting ...... it have a red eye setting ..... it have a behind glass setting ..... it have ah fireworks setting ..... but it don't have no SMOKE setting ...... so yuh done know how my first setta pics come out ...... jus like dat .....





Den ..... by de time de smoke had clear out ...... muzbe about 3 sections ...... had done parade ...... so I eh get none of de early costumes ...... den ..... when de air get back real clear ..... an' ah coulda finally see properly ...... de models now ..... well dem start tuh move like dey set dem on 'speedy' ....... cuz by de time I point de camera ..... and de focus ..... focus ...... an' I press tuh shoot ...... was only backside I was gettin ..... models makin dey way off de stage .....

Den ..... models modellin left, right and centre ..... and nobody eh know what on de stage ..... cuz fuh like de first 10 minutes of de show ..... nobody was announcin de section ...... and is not like yuh coulda figure out what was on de stage ..... cuz HELLO ..... wit de exception of Leo (which I love) ...... it didn't have no odda section dat was self-explanatory ..... and I doh know if dat was by design ..... I doh know if maybe de desginers didn't want tuh come across too literal ..... cuz there I was thinking dat is de Zodiac .... and dat all de signs have ah birthstone ..... so maybe de costumes woulda probably follow de birthstone colour ...... like garnet fuh CAPRICORN ..... instead of dat awful black and gold (sorry I'm more of a black and silver gal) ..... let's just say ...... nuttin had anyting tuh do wit nuttin ...... colours didn't connect wit de sign ..... designs didn't depict de sign ..... de band coulda easily be called ...... RAINBOW ..... but ..... that said ..... as far as feathers and beads and thongs go ...... most of de costumes were awesome!!!

It was also very blatant too ...... dat in de band YUMA ..... not all Zodiac signs are equal ..... some were definitely more equal than others ...... with fantastically elaborate frontline costumes ..... or individuals or whatever ...... like Scorpio ..... and Leo ...... and The Oracle ..... and den some was lookin like ah lagniappe ...... like CAPRICORN ..... cuz what was dem tings swallowin de gyul two arms? ..... and what was dem tings on de gyul legs ..... nobody cyah play mas in dat ..... not even de model coulda play she mas in it!!

Then there was de abundance of ...... ASS ...... yes ..... yuh read right ..... ASS ...... cuz watch meh ...... I doh know if was my imagination ...... but real backsides was rollin on de stage ...... I swear all de models had orn thongs ....... not that that was a problem ..... cuz the men were certainly havin ah time ..... only oooooohing ..... and ahhhhing ...... and rayin ..... and clapin!!

And as ah on de topic of models and dey bumbum ...... what was de big deal wit de foreign use MTV model?! (other than her bumbum)  ...... ah mean ..... yeah ..... she nice ...... but HELLO ...... she eh want nuttin wit our Teri-Leigh Bovell ..... I woulda put Teri over her any day ..... too bad Teri couldn't don de model hat too ..... cuz is den de show woulda mash up ..... cuz come on .... let's be honest ..... Teri is ah bess ting ..... it eh have no hotter costume model dan Teri!!!

Then there was the music ...... which was not soca *thank you* ..... which I thoroughly enjoyed ..... altho most would say ..... dat is ah band launch ...... and dey shoulda play soca *yawn - tired argument* ...... de music was real pumpin ..... and I was real groovin .... and de lil eventual soca session dat dey end off wit ...... was a good move ..... so nobody cyah say ...... dat dey didn't play no soca at all .....

But hear nah ..... yuh know me ..... I could go orn and orn and orn ..... so leh meh wrap it up ..... cuz it late ..... and I want tuh go an' sleep .....

All in all ...... de vibes was nice ...... de party wasn't too ram ..... it was jus right ....... it had real WHO'S WHO ..... among de WHO'S YOU? ...... and de DJ play real good music ...... but most of all ..... de presentation was short and sweet ..... and de costumes WOWED me again (kudos tuh de designers) ..... so now we wait ...... on de awakening of de website  ..... de opening of de mas camp ..... and de surprise of de prices!!

Look de pics dat ah take ..... doh mind dat dey doh have no captions eh ..... is jus dat ah doh know what is what!












































PS:  .... fuh real carnival reviews ..... check out Trinidad Carnival Diary  ..... Chronicles of Afro Chic  ..... and Carnival Jumbie  .....

I've been using a mouse for about 20 odd years ...... and I say 'odd' ...... cuz what could be odder ..... than attaching your hand to something ..... every single day ...... fuh about 20 years?!

I mean ..... when I really think about it ..... there was ..... and is ...... nothing else dat I ever embrace ...... and slide around ...... and finger ..... and poke ...... and stroke ...... every single day?!

Well ..... one of those days ...... about 4 or 5 years ago ...... I attached my hand to said mouse ...... for about 20 odd hours ...... straight!!! ...... yep ..... I was working on a project ...... and the constant, continuous, unergonomic feelin-up of dat mouse ...... totally @#$%^ up my right arm ...... and ...... ever since that time ..... whenever I'm on the computer ...... my arm would always tell me when tuh get tuh hell off ......

So when about two weeks ago ...... it (my arm) started giving me little hints ...... which then turned into a full blown cuss-out ......

I did what I was cussed ..... and I got tuh hell off!!!

But ..... dat eh mean I been takin it easy ...... I been around ...... I been out and about ...... last week ah went tuh see Gyazette in Studio ...... and den last nite ah went tuh de Carlton Savannah ...... tuh see 3 Canal ..... and Ataklan (tank de Lord FINALLY!) ..... and Kin ...... and 12 the Band ..... and ..... I been keepin up wit de news too ..... and I been snappin pics as usual .....

Basically ...... I been still doin ME .......

Is jus dat ah cyah type shit ...... cuz meh arm go start tuh zorce .....

So ...... dis is just a quickie ...... tuh say dat ah alive ....... but not kickin ...... yet!

Anyway ....... before ah go ......

Look at dem two ting dat ah see in yesterday's Guardian (Page A16) ..... what pray tell is dem Three Plumes Tip of the Week about ...... have you been seeing them? ...... what is it really ..... is it to educate us ..... is it tuh full up space in de newspapers ...... is it tuh remind us what a REAL pack of matches does look like ..... cuz I doh know if yuh remember ...... but back in 2009 de mark had buss ..... dat it have counterfeit matches circulatin ..... wha it for really?! ...... and den TSTT ..... my fave telecommunications provider ...... dem fuh real ...... dey claimin dat dey OWN THE NIGHT ..... wit FREE TALK ...... steups ...... instead of dem ..... owning de night ...... wit some FREE VIGILANCE (cuz that's what we the citizens of Trini really need at nite) ...... dem lookin tuh give we free talk ..... like if anybody does be TALKIN on dey cell phone while dey sleepin!!!!





PS:  Happy Belated Emancipation ..... doh mind dat ah late ..... all ah we still free right?

Yuh know how some people ALWAYS have dey cellphone on dem ...... textin, textin, BBMin, BBMin ...... well ...... I ALWAYS have my camera on me ...... clickin, snappin, flimin, clickin ...... an' ah know dat sometimes peeps does get lil irritated eh ..... like de time when fren 8 year old daughter ...... saw me taking a picture of a silly sign ..... and innocently (or not) exclaimed ...... "AUNTY YOU ALWAYS TAKING PICTURES OF STUPIDNESS!" ...... LOL ...... she real crack me up wit dat one ...... cuz little did she know how accurate her assessment was!!!

So ..... in keeping with my MO of takin pics of stupidness  ..... it was only natural fuh me ...... tuh snap ah KFC Crispy Strip ...... cuz HELLO ..... have you tried dat shit yet ...... DAT IS STUPIDNESS!!!





A friend of mine ..... who absolutely believes in KFC ..... decided tuh tess dem de odda day ....... and I could not believe my eyes ...... cuz not only were the strips de size of his middle finger ...... de price too was like KFC giving yuh de middle finger!!!

Cuz could you believe dat 2 of dat ...... cost him $20!?!?! ...... yep ..... was TT$20 fuh 2 piece ah cripsy batter fry chicken .... dat smaller dan de fork dat dey does give yuh tuh eat it wit!!! ...... is bess he had buy ah centre bress!!!





Anyway ..... yuh know me ..... someting always triggerin someting ..... and ting always remindin meh of ting ..... so from de time de CHICKEN talk come up ...... ah remember dat it have ah nex chicken ........ dat I been meaning tuh write about too ......

About a month ago ...... ah was driving on Morne Coco Road ...... headin tuh Valley ...... when ah bounce up ah BIRD! ...... not no ordinary bird eh ...... it was a big bird ...... with wings outstretched ...... perched on top of a food cart ...... wit a red light shinin on it ...... let's just say ...... there was no missing Mr. Bird! ...... de ting was real different ...... I'd never seen anything like it!

A  A ..... last week now ...... muzbe about 10 o'clock one nite ..... fren call tuh tell meh ..... dat he by Mr. Bird ..... and dat he now goin an' yam dong some chicken wings ..... and dat ah need tuh come tess it! ...... apparently fren is fren with de brother of de fella who own de joint ..... WING IT!

Knowing fully well dat ah couldn't eat nuttin ...... cuz ah had jus eat ..... ah still take de chain-up ..... an' ah went down de road ...... cuz honestly ..... I real wanted tuh maco dat bird up close!

So ah reach now ...... and miscellaneous peeps hangin around ...... fren now orderin he chicken ...... ah nex fren chillin ...... de owner brudda preppin chicken ...... an' de owner an' ah nex guy cookin ...... cuz yeah ...... de trays were all empty ...... an' ah doh know if dat meant that they had had a good nite ..... or if it meant dat yuh wings does cook when yuh order .....

Anyway ...... so ah strike up a convo wit de owner (Mark) and his brother (Jason) ..... and I learn that ..... the bird ..... that had been fascinating me for weeks ...... is actually supposed to be a Chicken ..... and that its actually Paper Mache ..... a water-proof paper mache bird ..... then ..... I learn that is Jason self who make it!! ...... so creative!!! ...... then I learned that they only sell fries and fried wings ...... not fried chicken eh .... just de WINGS ..... I learned that the difference with their product as opposed to other fried food joints ..... was in the sauces ..... with names like Buffalo ..... and Guava Bar-B-Que ..... and Tambran ..... and Chili ..... then I learned ...... that that IS really all they sell ..... no salad ..... no frou frou ...... nuttin else ...... jus fries ..... and wings ..... and then I realised ...... that altho ..... to most of us ..... to WING IT implies dat we eh know what we doin ....... this WING IT ....... was actually ..... nailing it!!! ...... cuz in the short time I hung out ..... quite a few peeps swung by tuh wing it!

I've been a few times since ..... tuh support dudes ..... cuz yuh know what ..... other than the fact dat ..... de location right ..... and de taste right-er ..... and de price RIGHT-EST! ...... it's just heartening tuh see young men ..... workin hard ..... doin dey do!!

So Mark and Jason ...... I know you been wondering why de arse I been takin pics of your joint ..... every time I drop by ..... well ..... this is why ..... BIG UP!!!




It's called WING IT! ..... and trust me ..... wherever de cart is ...... you WILL see it! ..... dey kyna
all over de West at nites ..... in de Valley ...... Crystal Stream ..... Bagatelle ..... an' even in lil
party an' ting!




.... and dat is de one and only Mr. Bird wit his very own spotlight ..... (dude on de right in orange .... is de owner, Mark)




Those are the unique saucy sauces ..... an' ah tink dey just added a Chilli Sauce too .....




.... the price list ..... that one's old tho ....... cuz they now have a $15 special too ......




...... and that's the chicken wings ..... wit ALL de sauces!!! ..... yeah ..... fren put ALL de sauces on his wings!




..... a couple customers winging it!

Approximately 1 year and 10 months ago ..... I wrote about a company called SCOOTERZ  .....

At de time ...... dey was runnin ah setta dotish ads ...... tryin tuh bamboozle Trinis tuh buy SCOOTERS!

Well ..... 1 year and 10 months later ...... the post has peeved Mr. x ...... who clearly hadda be de man sellin de Scooters!!!

Now .... thing is .... tho I don't normally entertain idiots (a.k.a. people who feel dey could come on MY  @#$%&  blog tuh try an @#$%& me up!!!) ..... fuh some strange reason ..... I feel compelled tuh entertain Mr. x ..... by sharing all the valuable information he has provided ..... in his extremely long-ass comment dat he submitted at precisely 12:42 pm .... TODAY!

Cuz honestly ..... I didn't know all dat shit ...... and is not like I care ..... cuz I don't ..... then too ..... I was really impressed ..... and felt really special ..... tuh know dat Mr. x took time out his life ...... tuh drop by ..... and type all dat shit!! ...... cuz if was me ..... I wuzen wastin my time (a steups woulda suffice!!) ...... then ...... I didn't even realise dat my comments box could hold so much shit ..... so thanks fuh cluein me in on dat too ...... cuz de comment was so long ..... dat de ting start tuh look like ah guest post!!!

So Mr. x ..... here's tuh you babe ...... your very own Guest Post on Wuzdescene!

From this UNEDICATED blog writer ...... to you ..... a seemingly UNEDICATED motorcycle rider!

And dread .... Thanks fuh droppin by de scene fuh real! ...... cuz I really didn't have nuttin tuh write about today!
 
*DRUMROLL*

I now present ...... thoughts by Mr. x!!! ...... read ..... absorb ...... process ..... learn ..... make an informed decision!


Hello folks. I am a seasoned motorcycle rider with lots of experience on the roads of T&T and i just want to clear up some of the misconceptions of the ppl who have written a lot of nonesense regarding scooters.
Firstly id like to say that the person who created this blog seems to be very unedicated about scooters and about motorcycles on the whole and therefore gives a very biased and uninformed viewpoint about them.
A scooter obviously cant go thru a flood because its not a boat, its a scooter and it was meant to be ridden on the road just as a car. Yes it can go thru potholes just fine.
if u want something to go thru rain and floods, buy a 4X4 or buy a boat!!!
obviously a scooter was not meant to be ridden in the rain so you can either buy a rain coat, riding jacket or park up whenever its raining.
other than that its an amazing vehicle to use to get around anywhere that you need to go in trinidad and tobago, and yes that includes maracas. it will go to maracas with great ease and will go just about anywhere a car will go and more. it is perfect for getting thru the traffic. i live in the west and when i ride it takes me about 10-15mins to get to POS on days with heavy traffic. While driving those times would be about 30-45mins. you do the math! the only downfalls that i see with a scooter is that on the highway its abit slow and by that i mean it will only go about 120kmh which is still yet pretty fast. but i am accustomed to speed with other motorcycles that i ride.
I am about to buy a scooter because of the ease of transport. they are very easy and fun to ride. they are also extremely economical on parts and maintenance. and by this i mean, change tires once every 2 years depending on the amount of riding you do. the gas mileage is appx 60mgp. let me break this down in actual terms. if u r riding to work, home, lime, etc. within the east west corridor you'd probably end up spending about $50 permonth on gas. now that beats any vehicle on the road!!!
so folks, if ur considering to buy a scooter i say go for it, you wont regret it. and if you dont like it, you can always sell it. i will definintely be buying mines.



PS:  ...... Psssst ..... Mr. x ..... is MINE .... not MINES ..... and is NONSENSE ..... not NONESENSE ...... and is UNEDUCATED ...... not UNEDICATED ...... actually ..... yuh know what ..... when yuh done maco de scene ..... try an' pick up ah book!!!

Last nite ah went tuh ah buss dance in Ibiza ..... ah Ozy Majiq back in times production ...... and it was DA BOMB!! ..... de man play real ting I eh hear in ages ...... down tuh King Austin an' all get ah sweat ...... I had a ball!! ....... apparently he gonna be havin it every third Saturday of the month .....

Anyway da'is not why ah logon tonight ...... ah logon tuh talk about Carnival ......

Cuz could you believe dat is band launch season ahready ..... wasn't Carnival jus de odda day???!!!

An' doh get tie-up eh ..... is not like I excited ...... cuz I am so not a Carnival person ...... but ...... that said ...... I still LOVE tuh maco all de bachannal!   ..... cuz carnival person or not ..... Iz ah TRINI!

So when fren text meh on July 6 ..... tuh find out if ah want tuh go tuh YUMA 'soft launch' on July 15 ..... I immediately replied ...... PENCIL ME IN!!! ..... cuz ah wuzen sure what condition ah woulda be in after meh lil 'procedure' on July 8!!

Turns out ..... July 15 ..... I was A-OK ..... and on my way!

The function was held at a CRIB (remember those Cribs parties?!) in Maraval .... or Moka ..... or some boogewattie area dong dat side ...... de invitation said Maraval ...... but fren had tell me is Moka we goin ..... and by de looks of de big-ass maco houses ...... I would say it was Moka! ..... anyway ..... it was supposed to start at 6:00 pm ...... and finish at 9:00 pm ..... so me an' fren organise tuh go fuh about 6:30 ...... so we wouldn't look too frontish nah (like if we openin de ting) ..... especially since it was a MEDIA launch ..... and we weren't exactly media!

An' is ah good ting we reach dat time ..... cuz even at 6:30 pm ..... parkin was already ah jumbie ...... and so were some of the residents ..... who wuzen puttin no water in dey mout tuh express their disgust ..... we encountered about three such peeved residents while walkin tuh de venue!



Upon entering ..... we were greeted by the 'dressed in black' YUMA reps ..... after which we promptly ordered drinks from one of the 'roaming' waitresses ..... cuz yeah ..... what else do you do at a media launch but drink and eat (if you're not Media!!!) ..... the venue was lovely ...... full of ambience ...... and embellished wit ah setta beautiful people and celebrities! ..... yeah ..... like Lara ..... and Latapy ..... and Shurwayne ...... and Anya ...... and Danielle (Jones) ..... and Kees ...... and Saucy Diva!

Anyway after about an hour (or more) of mingle, mingle, mingle ..... it was finally time for the presentation tuh start ..... and we were all ushered to the poolside ...... which ...... just like de parking ...... was ah kyna jumbie too ..... cuz de stage was at one end of de pool ..... and gapers like me .... end up on de next end of de pool ..... so pics wit ah point and shoot ...... was real horrors!!

Now just like most carnival bands ...... YUMA is ah breakaway ...... and as far as I understand ..... what happened is dis ...... one day ..... 4 Young-ish Upwardly Mobile Adults (4 man!) ...... no longer feelin de feelin as just plain ole Island People ..... among ah setta other plain ole island people ...... ketch ah vaps ..... and decide tuh come out wit dey own band ..... ah 'exclusive' all-inclusive band ..... a band fuh dem ..... and fuh other YUMAs ...... and ...... knowing fully well dat is really WOMAN does run tings when it comes tuh Carnival ...... dey cleverly put Miss Teri-Leigh Bovell tuh front de band ...... and whoa what ah front (and back) she have!!! ...... good decision No. 1!!!

Then ...... apparently  ......dey get dem two boys tuh design fuh dem too ..... de two wonder boys of carnival costume design ..... Richard and Anthony (I think - cyah remember dey names) ...... hmmmm ...... good decision No. 2!!! ..... cuz I an' all ...... was WOWED by dem costumes!!!

De lil speech (by Miss Bovell) ..... and de presentation of de costumes ..... finish in two-twos ..... literally ..... cuz was only two versions ...... of two costumes dat we see ..... a blue one called Aquarius ...... and a purple one called The Oracle ..... an' doh ask meh how de Oracle come eeeeeen ..... I doh know!

All I know ..... is dat ah likin what ah see so far ...... so come August 8 (at de band launch) ..... wit de purple section and de blue section done reveal ..... is only de red section ..... and de yellow section ...... and de silver section ..... and de green section ..... and de orange section ...... and de black section ..... and de magenta section ..... and de gold section ..... and de teal section ...... and de white section tuh go!

(those ARE the standard carnival costume colours right?)

CAPRICORN better be hottt!

Look de pics ah take (which I just saw starring on YUMA's bran new page on Facebook ) ....




The lovely Teri-Leigh Bovell ...... giving her lil speech ...... about the band ..... and the band's debut presentation fuh 2011 ...... which by now you would have guessed ..... is called Zodeak ..... well ...... actually ...... No ....... you would not have guessed that jokey spelling!




This is how far away I was from de stage ..... chups ..... dat damn pool!




..... and that's what my 'point and shoot' pics looked like (from dat distance) ...... clearly I need a real camera .....




De purple one is The Oracle ...... and de blue one is Aquarius .....




Gorgeous .....




Double Gorgeous .....




..... jus so yuh know what de purple bumsee will look like .....




.... and da'is how de blue bumsees will look ....... note carefully ...... one is a thong ..... and one is a regular ...... oh and dat ting wit all de peacock feathers ...... is actually the back of one of the purple costumes ..... can't remember if it falls from the headpiece ..... or the shoulders ..... in any event .... da'is too much clort fuh me! ..... when I used tuh play mas ...... de naked-er de better ..... less was definitely more!




Gorgeous ...... LOVE that silver fishnet, meshy, vest thingy ....




Double gorgeous .......




Hmmmmm ...... why is she holding the headpiece ...... ah hope da'is not how yuh go have tuh play yuh mas wit dat headpiece!




Purple beauty ..... frontline?




Purple beauty ..... backline?



PS:  ..... I met the famous Saucy Diva of  TRINIDAD CARNIVAL DIARY ..... yeah!! ..... well ..... actually ..... truth is ..... I stalked her ...... and pounced on her ...... LOL ..... was great to finally meet you Saucy!!

I have come tuh de realisation ...... dat I am ah real tourist (in my own country) ......

This morning I ventured out fuh de first time since de surgery ...... yeah ...... ah went Macqueripe ...... of all places ...... and I say 'of all places' ...... cuz ...... thing is ...... altho I live in the West ...... I doh really reach anywhere past HILO Glencoe (well unless ah goin party or sumtin) ...... so fuh me tuh leave my house ...... at 9:00 dis morning ...... in de most iffy weather ...... tuh head down tuh somewhere I hadn't been since I was a child ...... was simply weird!

Of course yuh know dat de only reason ah end up ...... is because ah get chain up!

And boy was I glad ..... cuz watch nah ..... dis country sweet too bad ...... dat drive tru Tucker Valley couldn't be more awesome ..... those trees ..... de bamboo ...... de bush ..... de ole church ...... de agri-farm ...... de abundance of fresh air ..... when ah tell yuh beautiful ..... wuz some real picture worthy scenery ..... but ...... unfortunately ...... ah didn't get any ..... cuz instead of just stoppin and lappin it up (wit meh camera) ..... ah decide tuh do it on de way out ...... by which time ..... it was raining cats and dogs!

But ..... I did manage tuh get a few shots at Macqueripe Bay itself ...... and yes I know ..... I know dat other peeps like Afro Chic and Ennekaycee already been there ..... and already done this (i.e. talk about Macqueripe and post pics) ...... but dat eh nuttin ...... now yuh will jus have Scene Macqueripe view too!




So that's the entrance ..... with a big sign sayin WELCOME - MACQUERIPE BAY FACILITY ..... and as you can see .... the little Guard Booth to the left was closed up ..... so we didn't have tuh pay de $10 tuh park ...... yeah ..... there's another sign which says $10 per day tuh park!




As yuh drive eeeen ...... there are three of those little huts on the left ..... jus before yuh reach de car park ..... which is not too far off ...... see the blue bus? ...... that's BIG STUFF!




Spotted that as I was about tuh make my way down the many steps ...... it was kinda standin out ..... in de middle of some kinda track ..... looks like a dinge Bar-B-Que pit ..... which could definitely come in handy ...... cuz I eh see no food stalls or vendors or nuttin in de line of eats!




Flowers, flowers, flowers ..... there are beautiful flowers and plants everywhere!




This is de treacherous steps ....... lawd dem steps is de worse!




And at last ..... WATER ..... wit ah setta big rock in it!




That looks like a Life Guard lookout ..... but it also had the effect of a cute, little tree-house .....




Then before yuh actually reach de beach ..... dey have lil bench and tables an' ting scatter all over de place fuh yuh tuh chill ......




Cute bridge leading tuh some of the tables ...... everyting cute!!




Lovely, calm water ......




More lovely, calm water .....




Don't ask! ..... I just loved this bunch of stones ......




Another view of the stones .......




The view going back up the steps ..... LAWD dem steps is ah real workout!




And look at this ..... I was trying tuh get a pic of the flower ...... but look what's hanging on to it ..... ah whole spider web ..... and a spider ..... and some white zig-zaggy thingy!

Look some crap while yuh waitin fuh de match tuh start .....




Now forget about de STOLEN REWARD dat dey offerin?! ..... people does actually take pictures of dey bike? ..... ah mean is not like is ah pet .... or a family member!!!




Ah Extra Heavy-T what ..... DRIVER ..... BUMPER ...... Wha????




This ad has been running forever .... wit dat glarin typo! ...... it in today's Newsday on Page 30 ......




...... and then it appears again (in today's Newsday) ...... on Page 32 ...... wit a different picture ..... and different fonts ..... and de same wrong spellin ...... hmmmm!




LAWD ..... dis whole ad is ah mess ..... from de use of 'SPARE TYRES' ..... tuh de comma after POSE ...... tuh de capital S in de word Serious ..... tuh de revelation dat most weight is ..... ABOVE DE WAIST ..... and ..... BELOW DE WAIST ...... tuh de thought bubble sayin "Ask your doctor to use Sibuslim-15 like me" (or is that a voice bubble?) ...... tuh de 'risky' waist measurements fuh men and women!!!

OK ...... is this a real ad????????





An' ah save de bess fuh lass ...... dis have tuh be de Article of de Weekend .....

Yeah ..... apparently ...... my boy stop along de roadside ...... tuh relieve himself via his wood ..... and while he was doin so (quite criminally) ..... two robbers pull up and start tuh relieve him of his valuables ..... via some real pieces of wood!!!

LOL ...... you could imagine somebody tellin yuh tuh ..... STOP ...... while yuh peein??? ..... da'is like torture!

An' I eh condonin crime eh ...... but de robbers shoulda clout him in he TWO HEAD ...... de non-thinkin one ...... AND de peein one!!!



PS:  Thanks fuh all de 'speedy recovery' wishes!

..... but sometimes ...... knowledge could be real pressure!!! ..... cuz right now ..... I real 'knowledgeable' ..... and it scaring de shit outta me!!

About 6 months ago ..... I had minor surgery ..... and tho some may say ...... that there is no such thing as minor surgery (once dey puttin yuh tuh sleep) ..... my experience was pretty much minor ..... and that was solely because I was CLUELESS ..... and I mean really clueless ...... cuz at the time ..... I had no idea what I was in for ..... cuz first tuh begin ...... I had never had surgery before ..... all I knew ...... was what I had seen on TV! ...... den second ..... I didn't have time tuh even think about it either ..... it was a straight case of shit happen one day ..... and de surgery was de next day .....

Six months later now ...... it's back to the drawing board ...... or operating table or whatever ...... and I AM PARANOID like ass!!! ..... yeah ..... cuz unlike de last time dat was kinda today fuh tomorrow ...... this time I had tuh wait 3 weeks fuh Doc tuh return tuh Trini ..... and you do know what that meant right ...... yep ...... that meant I had 3 weeks tuh ponder ..... and remember dat ah wanted tuh scream like 20 tarzan when meh eyes had open!!!

Anyway .....

Its on .....

Today ....

Peace out!


PS:  Knowledge is Power my arse ..... Ignorance is Bliss oui!!!

His name is Jason Martin ....

He is a multiple rape convict ....

He is 34 (but looks like 20) ....

He is currently serving a 15 year jail sentence (for rape) ....

Yesterday ..... he get 3 more years add orn tuh dat ..... fuh trowin his shoe at his lawyer ..... and cursing him ..... and threatening him?! ..... it was the right side of his brown pair of shoes ...... and de lawyer get hit on de right side of his (brown) face .....

Mr. Man was goin so crazy in de court ..... dat he had tuh be subdued by 4 Police Officers!

De Judge get pissed ..... cuz he tort de whole scene was "reprehensible" and "one of the greatest manifestations of misconduct of its kind" ....

SO BRAPS!!!!

He give Mr. Man de 3 more years jail ..... an' he give de 4 Pohlice $500 each (as ah REWARD)!

But ..... even after all ah dat tantana ..... yuh know what was the most amazing part of this story fuh me ...... was de COCONUT TREE on Mr. Man head .... cuz Grrrrrr? ...... seriously? ..... WTH? ...... what it is coulda possess he tuh do dat tuh he head ..... why he tort it woulda be cool tuh walk around wit ah FOWL on he head??!!

But den again ..... who knows how the mind of a convicted rapist works!

If I were de Judge ..... ah woulda slap him wit ah nex 3 years ...... fuh contempt of fashion!!





PS:  ..... No wonder it took 4 Pohlice tuh hole him dong ..... dat hair alone woulda need about 2!!

Cuz I doh want tuh believe that THAT is de foolishness ...... dat our Police does be workin on .....

An' ah doh want tuh believe either that THAT is de foolishness ..... dat people does be callin de Newsday Hotline for .....

What it is dem pictures could have so ..... dat Miss Lady had tuh involve de Police!? ...... cuz oh gorm ..... come nah man ..... she in she late FIFTIES ...... so it definitely cyah be no naked photos or nuttin like dat?!

Steups ..... what a waste of Hotline space ..... and Police time ...... and de 3 minutes of my life dat I will never get back cuz of reading that stupid article!!!

Leh meh tell yuh how I does read papers ......

Most times ...... ah does zoom in ...... on pictures ..... dotish headlines ...... and dotish ads!

Then sometimes ..... ting does jus jump eeeen de corner of meh eye like yampee!

Rarely is there any real readin goin orn .....

So ..... with that said ...... I'm 'reading' papers this morning ...... Newsday ...... and I reach Page 4 ...... and up pops an article ...... wit de word 'guns' in de headline ..... so of course I immediately zoom eeeeen on it ..... cuz what de heck ..... according tuh de headline ..... ah couple find a box of guns!! ..... not ONE gun eh ..... ah WHOLE BOX ah dem!!!

So I start to really read the article now ...... and from paragraph one ..... was pure bewilderment fuh me ..... then ..... just when I thought it couldn't get any weirder ...... paragraph two put dat tuh rest one time ...... cuz Grrrrrrrrrr ....... first tuh begin ...... who de arse does stop on ah highway (in Trinidad) ...... and second tuh continue ..... who de arse does stop on a highway tuh retrieve ah box dat is not yours ...... and ..... third tuh conclude ...... who de arse does stop on a highway tuh retrieve ah box dat doh concern you dat yuh TINKIN HAVE GARBAGE IN IT????!!!!!! ..... oh ..... and fourth tuh reopen ...... who de arse does stop on a highway tuh retrieve ah box dat doh concern you dat yuh TINKIN HAVE GARBAGE IN IT and den open de box????!!!!!

I doh know .....





Now yuh know me ..... I always readin ting chupidee ..... so is it dat I missin someting here ...... or is it that de story missin another paragraph ...... and den too ..... who it is bringin in GLOCKs legitimately ...... what company ...... cuz who was 'guardin' de guns ..... while in transit ...... cuz how it is a whole box of guns could end up on de road jus so .....

Suppose dem guns AND ammunition had end up in some young thug's hands ...... instead of de honest, law-abiding, in de right place at de right time, environmentally conscious, caring elderly couple's hands??

Den wuz de scene wit de last sentence of de article ...... is it that the company knew that the 'found box' was missing ...... or is it that when they got the 'found box' ..... they then discovered dat ah nex box was missing???

I tell yuh ...... readin papers does real confuse me yes!!

Anyway ..... look some pics (ps: some ah dem lil confusin too eh) ......




..... is it that they have .... one customer only?




...... imagine my confusion ..... exiting HILO (Cascade) yesterday ...... and seeing that ..... cuz of course yuh know me ..... I read it as "NO ICE ABSOLUTELY" .... and ...... "NO TROLLEYS BEYOND THIS POINT"!! ...... is only afterwards ..... while trying tuh figure out why dey would put a sign tuh say "NO ICE ABSOLUTELY" ..... dat I realise ..... dat it shoulda really read "NOTICE" ..... and not "NO ICE" ...... hmmmm ..... what a difference a letter makes!




Check out de name of dat water ..... cute!




Now dat is what yuh call 'fallin eeeen ah drain' ...... not what happen tuh me de odda day ...... but seriously tho ...... how did dat Maxi end up in dat drain like dat!!??




Look ..... it's a PLASTIKEEP bin ..... located in dat Diamond Vale Plaza or whatever its called ...... I first read about the Plastikeep project on Now is Wow Too  ...... check it out here!




Oh ..... and on the same compound ...... there's a bin for GLASS too ..... good tuh see Trini tryin tuh go green!




I just liked this patch of bush ..... and the flower's quite pretty too .....




Yum, Yum, Yum ..... Mango season's here!




..... and Plum season too ......

I've been out of it lately ....... cuz I recently found out that I have tuh go under da knife ..... AGAIN ..... so ...... naturally ...... some mopin and feelin sorry fuh mehself came into play ...... cuz I really doh have dat kinda money!!! ..... an' ah jus not in de mood tuh go tru dat shit again ..... but ...... whatever!!

Last nite ah went tuh ah lil birthday lime in Studio (Ariapita Avenue) ..... and after de jam session ..... everybody kinda end up on de pavement ..... and while hanging out on de pavement ...... two strange things happened ......

A little boy ......

..... and another little boy .......

The first little boy appeared out of nowhere ...... armed with a bag ..... and a big box of empty bottles ...... he positioned himself in front of us ..... and started stacking the bottles in ah kinda bottle balancing act ..... well ..... I was blown away ..... and not because of the obvious ...... but because he is a little boy!! ..... cuz why was he out late at nite ..... on ah pavement ..... balancing bottles fuh money?! ...... now mind you ..... de actual act was real cool eh ..... I had seen it for the first time about two weeks ago outside Smokey and Bunty ..... and WHOA dat Smokey and Bunty man was real dread ...... de man balance big-ass scotch bottle an' ting ...... on top of ah baby Coke bottle ..... and that was like 4 or 5 bottles up ..... A-MAY-ZING is what it was ...... I real wanted tuh record de man ..... but fren who was wit meh ..... buff meh an' tell meh tuh put dong meh camera ..... and leave de man alone ...... so ....... imagine my shock last nite ..... when I see de little boy doing de same ting .... cuz I tort de Smokey and Bunty vagrant was a novelty ..... I didn't realise dat balancin bottle was de new hustler scene tuh make money .....

But seriously tho ...... how de heck do they do dat shit???




His name is Ryan (I think) ...... he is 15 years old ...... his brother taught him how to balance bottles (but who taught his brother?!) .....




What was freakin me out ..... was de tilted bottles ......




That's the money box ...... that he walked around with ..... after his 'act' ..... 


Right .....

The second little boy now ..... well ..... I kinda end up sittin next tuh him on de bench outside Studio ..... and we got tuh talking ...... and oh what a convo it was ..... 

By the end of our short chit chat ..... I found out that he was born with a heart condition ..... he was not supposed to live ..... he is now 21 ...... he is pursuing a degree ..... he has his own business ..... and he does not sleep much ...... cuz his new life expectancy is tuh about age 35 ..... so it doh make no sense sleepin! ...... he drinks and he smokes too ...... cuz again ..... he say it doh make sense not doing de tings he like tuh do!

And I studyin my minor surgery!!!

Those two little boys made me realise dat ....... tings ain't dat bad!


Happy Father's Day to all my daddy peeps!