My carnival cavorting was minimal this year ……. but the few places I went (Soka in Moka, Machel in Zen, Ladies First, Army, AC3+3, Eyes Wide Shut, Beach House, Lara) ...... I enjoyed! ..... although in eyes wide shut ..... ah get soak dong in de rain ...... and partyin 'wet' eh my scene ...... buh like dat party have some kinda jumbie though ..... cuz ah tink every year it does rain ..... maybe it should be renamed "heavens - please stay shut!" 
  
.... anyway on tuh de meat of this write ...... the last of my carnival outings ....... Brian Lara's all-inclusive party (Carnival Sunday) ...... was by far ....... my most memorable one ..... cuz other than the extensive partying area ...... with the nicely built up carpeted decks ...... port-a-floor covered areas ....... and even a tiny replica of Satchmo's Jazz Lounge ...... together with ........ all the 'beautiful people' ..... and the abundance of beverages ....... wine, scotch, vodka, beer, rum, baileys, juices, water, cocktails ...... anyting ..... even champagne (which somehow eluded me, ah only hear bout it!) ..... and the wide range of food (which was still available when I went for seconds at 9:30 pm!) ...... from creole ..... tuh chinese ..... tuh indian ..... tuh wild meat ..... tuh wontons ..... shark and bake ..... and dim sum ..... then the bands ....... Atlantik ..... Machel and HD ..... de music on de whole ..... and I could go on and on ....... I'd have to say that the most impressive feature of the party ...... for me (well other than Machel) ..... was Andy Loos .....
 
....... for those of you who haven't heard or experienced it yourself ...... Andy Loos is ah luxury mobile toilet! (see below) ...... in Trini ….. it’s da hot new shit! ...... actually ...... it’s the hot new way ..... tuh take ah shit! ..... sorry tuh be so crass ..... but de toilet nice ...... yuh actually want tuh go een ..... talk bout booooge! ...... it looks nice …… it smells nice ..... de toilet paper eh no cheap HIDEE toilet paper ..... is nice sorf toilet paper ..... it have real toilets ...... dat could flush ...... it have real sinks ..... wit real taps …… yuh eh have tuh press no pedal ...... warm clean water ....... it have sorf paper towels ...... an ah big bin tuh put all of dem in when yuh done …… nuff mirrors ...... a gal’s best friend (and tuh a few, clearly dey enemy!) ...... privacy tuh check yuhself in de mirrors (at all angles) ...... sweet smelling hand soap …… Aveeno hand lotion ..... lights everywhere ....... yuh seein clear as day … tuh do yuh lil touchups …… and ah tink ah even see some flowers or some decorative shit ……. and tea lights …… or they may have been scented candles ...... clean, dry floors ….. and Attendants keeping ah clean scene right tru  ……. it even have ah DVD player in it ..... I was very impressed ..... alas ....... a toilet worthy of my ass!!! .......
 
....... now I know you're probably wondering why I'm making such a big deal off of a toilet ...... well fuh people like me ...... who does drink de ultimate wee-wee maker (beer) ….. and who super scornful ........ using a public, mobile toilet …… as in PARC disposals ……is always a bone of contention ....... should I ...... should I not ...... it clean ....... it stink ........ it dark …… it have ah light …… it have toilet paper ….. de floor dry …….. or worse again …… de toilet paper dry …….. what’s in the abyss I’m about to squat over ……. will something jump out at me ….. from de blue-black murky water …… all these issues would always gross me out …….. but now ….. in these times of everything going "VIP" …… even wee-weein gorn VIP …… cuz HELLO ........ after peein in Andy  Loos …… I really tink is time tuh 'park up' PARC! ...... cuz as we all know ……. 'PARC' is really "CRAP" spelt backwards ...... and now…… more than ever ..... not only does 'crap' stand for what they often contain ...... but …… it also stands for its new status next tuh Andy .....
 
I understand that Mr. Loos made his grand entrance at Brian Lara's Old Year's Night party ....... and from what I heard …… although the event was for the most part memorable too ...... Andy Loos again stole the show …… from there I believe he made an appearance at Temperature and  also at Bacchanal Wednesday ......  hopefully ….. Andy will continue to get a VIP pass to most (if not all) upcoming events …… cuz definitely …… he’s the new VIP pips ……. right up dey wit de parkin ….. and de stress free entry …… take away de "free" (already paid for) drinks and food if yuh want (which seems tuh be de new ting!) ……. but please ……. leh we big up Andy!

To pee or not to pee ….. no longer a dilemma with Andy …… talk about peein in luxury!!!