Dis week …… ah finally see ah copy ..... of de hott, new, local magazine called “Scorch” …… is ah lil baby magazine (in size) ….. wit big laughs …… ah kinda kix magazine …… so I wasn’t too taken aback …… when I read an interview in it ….. with a Kesha Quash …… who gave her ‘Occupation’ as ....... “Student/head bitch at VIP entrance to Zen” ….. I was very amused actually ……cuz I was thinking ….. Ms. Head Bitch cyah be more dan 25 …… and as a veteran bitch myself …. I know …… that there’s no way ..... one can be a “head bitch” ..... at such a tender age …… an aspiring one maybe …… but not ah ‘head’!!! ...... anyway ….. after processing that thought for all of 2 seconds ….. I moved on to the next page ….. and forgot about Ms. Head Bitch ……

Today now ….. while reading the dailies ….. I came across an article in the Newsday ….. where the writer made mention of Kesha and her 'Head Bitch' occupation ….. yep …… dis ting reach de Sunday papers!!! 

Is only den I realise ..... dat maybe I prematurely dismissed Ms. Head Bitch’s claim …... cuz here it was ….. dat other people was talkin about it ….. so …… outta pure idleness as usual …… ah say leh meh check out her (extremely brief) interview again ……. tuh see if Ms. Quash revealed her age ….. well ….. no such luck ..... she did not ….. she didn’t think it was important ….. imagine dat ..... ah lil gyul like her ..... being coy about age!!

Now as I said before …… when claiming tuh be a head bitch …… age IS very important ….. dem lil chirren ...... dat paradin as adults dese days ...... too fresh wit deyself …… cuz how could such a young girl …… think it appropriate ….. to refer to herself as a “Head Bitch” ….. especially since I know it took me years to acquire said title ….. I mean ….. I was always one …… but I honed my craft ….. and only become a “Head” after much experience ....... BITCHDOM comes with wisdom ….. and wisdom comes with age and living life …… you cyah jus call yuhself a bitch …... that honour has to be bestowed on you …..... you can’t demand it …… you have to earn it  ….. there's way more to it ..... than just bracin people at the VIP podium in Zen!! 

Fake bitches bandying around the 'bitch' title …... always peeve me …… cuz the real ones ..... work damn hard fuh dey ‘BITCHDOM’ …… and how we got it you ask ….. well someone sent me this very apt piece ...... a long time ago ...... and I think it explains very nicely ..... what being a bitch really is ...... so read ..... learn .... and doh mess ...... or tess .....

..... and to wannabe bitches ….. the following are the 3 levels you can aspire to ……. 

Beautiful           Babe            Beautiful                   
Individual          In              Intelligent                     
That                Total           Talented                      
Can                 Control of      Charming                     
Handle anything     Herself         Hell of a Woman         

...... and Ms. Quash ...... since you clearly have aspirations of emulating your boss ..... ooooops what ah sayin ..... ah mean ...... aspirations of being a 'head bitch' ....... I now award you the 'trainee bitch' title ......

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PS:  .... and on a totally unrelated topic .... but one dat could nevertheless make yuh get orn like ah bitch ..... current went 3 times yesterday (during de day) .... then at about 10:30 pm .... ah went St. James fuh ah Kanhai roti ..... and St. James had no current either ..... oh gawd T&TEC ...... flick de switch nah ...... stop de load sheddin ..... instead ...... shed some light!!!!