Geeez …… like corbeaux shit on we yes!!! …… never a dull moment in sweet TnT!!!  

Now we all know …… is real crap goin orn in dis country …. but after a day like yesterday ….. only two things stood out for me ...... de TnT vs England soccer (ticket) sell out …… and de current crap …… ah didn't know which one tuh tackle tho ….. and den ah realise ..... ah doh even have tuh choose ...... cuz de two tings connected!

Have you noticed T&TEC’s new ‘Conserve Energy!’ ads (see below) …… they’ve been running for a few weeks now ……. which ironically ….. is the same period of time …… we’ve been experiencing a multitude of power outages …… an' ah cyah figure out yet ….. if de whole ‘conserve energy’ head dey pushin  …… is bout saving de earth ….. or ..... if is bout incompetence …... cuz clearly their incompetence has been 'helping' us along the way ..... i.e. to conserve energy! ....... but that aside ……. some of the suggestions are quite strange too ….. like dry clothes outdoors ….. hello, I live in an apartment …… I have no ‘outdoors’ ….. and doh keep de fridge door open too long ..... but is only when I open de fridge .... ah could figure out what ah want tuh eat .... so the door may very well be open fuh 'long' ..... and use fans instead of AC ….. Grrrrrrr?!?! ..... and doh forget tuh turn off yuh Christmas Tree lights ..... again .... Grrrrr?!?!?

I recently started keeping a log of ‘current gorn’ times aka Earth Hours …… and yes ..... it IS out of idleness ….. cuz when current goes ….. I get idle! …… look at dem stats below ….. you think dat rite? ….. dat power outages increase …… as soon as rates increase …… noooooo …….. dat very not rite!!!!! 

Friday, March 28, 2008
50 minutes

Wednesday, April 9, 2008
7:20 pm – 9:51 pm = 2 hours, 31 minutes

Saturday, April 26, 2008
2:30 pm – 2:40 pm = 10 minutes
4:25 pm – 4:30 pm = 5 minutes
5:50 pm – 6:20 pm = 30 minutes

(3 TIMES!!! – ah had tuh reset meh 3 clocks …. 3 TIMES!!! ….
yuh en see is bess ah had go Jazz …. cuz dis was Jazz Saturday!!!)

Saturday, May 3, 2008
11:38 am – 12:25 pm = 52 minutes

Tuesday, May 6, 2008
9:30 am – 3:50 pm = 6 hours, 20 minutes
4:45 pm – 5:15 pm = 30 minutes

(Nearly 7 hours without electricity!!!!!!!!!!!! …. look T&TEC at work on de Western
Main Road ….. at about 1:48 pm – da’is bout 2 hours before it come back!!!!)

 

Yesterday ...... at 9:30 am ..... when de current went ....... ah tell mehself …… ahhhhhh ….. ah have ah lil hour tuh sleep again ….. cuz de average ‘current gorn’ time is about ah hour ….. and besides ..... when current goes …… water goes too (none today either – Lord put ah hand!!!) …… a winning combination fuh sleep …… so anyway ..... ah jump back eeen de bed ….. and ah start tuh tink bout meh day ahead …… when meh phone ring …… was a friend just checkin in …… he was getting ready tuh head out tuh work …… so ah jumbie him tuh drop off ah papers fuh meh ……. cuz other than sleep …… reading papers was another good option ….. although after reading de crap I read in de papers yesterday …… turns out it wasn’t such a good option after all …… is police rapin people .... rite dey in de police station …… is ah 21 year old female rapin a 17 year old male (twice) …... hmmmm ….. lil suspect! …… he let she ….. rape he ….. TWICE!!! ….. den is ah $2M ransom dey callin fuh meh fren (dat incidentally went back tuh $3M today) …… football tickets sellin fuh hundreds of dollars …. is all kinda drama in de papers!!

Anyway ..... minutes later ..... my phone rings again …… this time …..  is a friend who is at work …… in a nice air-conditioned office …… oblivious to the fact dat I sweatin home with no current …… my gyul call tuh find out if ah goin Lionel Richie and Football …… so we start tuh discuss options …… when ah realise dat Lionel eh lookin too possible ….. cuz is de "Platinum" section I belong …. but ah lose meh $1000 …… in de damn grocery and TSTT!! …… so Lionel boy if yuh could hear meh ....... ah "Still" want tuh pass tru ….. to say "HELLO" ….. so "Say You, Say Me" …... cuz I’m "Three times a Lady" ……. and I "Truly" want to be there ……. to prove my "Endless Love" to you ...... "All Night Long" ….. a’ight a’ight ….. ah geh lil carried away there …. buh yuh see why I HAVE tuh go Lionel ….. I know all his songs and all de lyrics ….. anyway ….. so we establish that Lionel tentative …… and dat Football ah lil more promising (and affordable) ….. now as you would have heard by now …… the prices kinda ‘different’ ……. and I chose that word very carefully ..... dey eh high ...... dey just different ….. $300 fuh hot sun uncovered ……. $600 fuh humid covered ……. and $1200 fuh all-inclusive …… ‘all-inclusive’??? ……. WTF! …… allyuh could tell meh what de ass it have tuh ‘all-inclusive’ in ah football match ….. is it dat yuh gettin ..... food and drinks and Haagen Dazs ice-cream and Machel Montano HD!!!???

Anyway ...... bearing in mind ….. dat ah jus lorse meh $1000 fuh Lionel ….. ah had tuh proceed cautiously fuh de football ….. so ah tell meh fren …. if ah goin ….. ah goin under ah grassroots vibes ….. in de $300 section …… although I eh know which “grassroots” could really afford $300!! ….. so dat wuz dat ….. we talk some odda crap ..... cuz yuh know when yuh at work ...... talkin tuh friends on de phone ...... on company time ...... is one of the fun-er ways tuh pass de time ...... and I certainly didn't have anyting better tuh do!

The day continued on the same awful path it had begun ...... 3 hours later ...... I hadn't moved a muscle ........ ah was hot and sweaty and hungry! …… and all ah had was meh newspapers ..... and meh dyin cell phone ….. and ah coulda jump in meh car ...... and ride out ...... but tuh go where ...... cuz checks revealed dat is everywhere current went yesterday ..... well ..... in the west .... then about an hour later ..... my friend’s car whacked out …… and I had to take her to the mechanic ….. then to pick up little sweetie (her daughter) from school …… then to find food …… cuz mankind didn't eat nuttin fuh de day …… so we head straight fuh de mall ...... well West Mall had no current either …… real stores was close up ….. the entire food court was closed ….. so den we say leh we go Joe’s …… SALT again ….. everywhere was closed ...... we end up buyin some creole chinese food on de Main Road …… by which time ….. electricity (and water) had returned ...... so wit ah full belly ..... and a much needed shower ….. under meh belt ..... I then settled down tuh watch de news ....... tuh find out what de france really happened wit de current!

So de news start …… and up pops Joel Villafana ….. all loud, and smiley and cherry as usual …… with the most shocking announcement ……. ALL FOOTBALL TICKETS SOLD OUT!!!! ……. ah say WHA???!!!! …… wha de jail!!! ….. NAH!!! ..... someting FOUL!! ….. how 20,000 tickets ……. sell out ..... ONLINE ….. wit no current ....... cuz is whole day we eh have no current eh!! …… den when ah really start tuh study meh head …… ah realise is de East, South and Central dat buy out de 20,000 tickets ..... ONLINE …… cuz is de West dat didn't have current ..... but dat so eh fair eh!…… Westerners didn’t have ah chance ..... wit nearly 7 hours of no internet access ….. nearly 7 hours of no cell phone either ....... cuz it die out from talkin ah setta crap on it ..... nearly 7 hours of de 'lit' parts of de country jus lickin up de tickets .... nearly 7 hours of scalpers buyin what shoulda been mine …... I believe the tickets sold out even before current was restored ....... T&TEC ...... FIRE BUN!!!!  

Whey de so-an-so I supposed tuh get my football ticket from now ……. ah scalper …..  and how much would I have to pay ….. it not rite …… but yuh know us trinis resourceful ….... and forgetful ...... cuz I done forget dat current went fuh nearly 7 hours yuh know ....... I now on tuh findin ah football ticket ..... anyway ...... ah still have ah lil time …… tuh see how ah could bend dis one like Beckham ….. cuz girlfren need tuh see dat specimen in real!!!