De Human Splif!
Yesterday ...... ah actually pick up ah papers (de Guardian) ...... and as usual ...... it was more of the same ...... another murder ..... other crime ...... some Government/Politics crap ...... the miscellaneous WTF stories like ...... de Sports Minister tryin tuh jumbie de once-in-ah-lifetime England vs TnT football match ...... and de suspension of ah 8 year old girl ...... fuh beating up ah 6 year old classmate ....... (8 and 6?????) ...... and de 'alleged' CXC exam leak (rite on de heels of de CAPE exam leak) ...... and ...... of course ...... creating a nice balance ...... was the mandatory GANJA story ..... providing some much needed comic relief!
Ah have tuh say it again ..... Ganja is ah real amazing little herb yes! ...... not only does it ...... take you to a higher consciousness ..... where your thoughts become much clearer (so ah hear!) ...... it also helps to bring out some people's latent talent ...... in de art of BS ...... cuz de kinda shit stories people does come up wit ...... fuh why dey does pull!!! ....... remember de guy who used it tuh ease de pain from dog bites??!!
Well hear dis new one ...... ah lil boy ...... 26 years old ..... geh ketch wit 19 grammes of ganja in he JEANS ...... de boy tell de Magistrate ..... dat de reason he cyah stop smoking de herb ....... is because it in his GENES ...... so together with being in his JEANS .... it is also in his GENES ..... he say ganja in his family fuh generations ..... well I nearly dead wit laugh .......
De Magistrate now ...... well she eh too backward either ...... she make meh laugh too ...... cuz she tell de boy ...... dat if it in his genes ..... den is up tuh him to change dat ...... huh?! ...... wha da mean?? ...... ah know yuh could change yuh JEANS ...... but yuh could change yuh GENES?? ...... anyway ..... she was really tryin tuh show de boy ah form ..... tuh leh him know dat ....... if he continued along his path of addiction ..... that maybe it would be best if he didn't have children ...... cuz den wha go happen ..... it go be he, grandpa, grandma, he chile mudda and he chile ....... jus smokin weed ...... since weed in dey GENES!!
De Magistrate ..... who clearly had ah lil compassion ...... in her genes ...... end up givin de boy ah bligh ...... cuz wha yuh go really do with a boy ....... who geh ketch wit ganja in he jeans ..... when it done ahready all up in he genes?! ..... wha I doh understand tho ....... is if it in he genes ........ den why de need tuh smoke ....... cuz dat sound tuh me ...... like yuh done ahready like ah walkin splif!?
Well yes ....... weed in yuh jeans ....... because weed in yuh genes!

PS: ah lil tidbit ..... from de same papers ...... UWI offerin ah M.Sc. in Cricket Studies ..... Grrrrrrr??????? ..... like dem pullin too!!!!
Ah have tuh say it again ..... Ganja is ah real amazing little herb yes! ...... not only does it ...... take you to a higher consciousness ..... where your thoughts become much clearer (so ah hear!) ...... it also helps to bring out some people's latent talent ...... in de art of BS ...... cuz de kinda shit stories people does come up wit ...... fuh why dey does pull!!! ....... remember de guy who used it tuh ease de pain from dog bites??!!
Well hear dis new one ...... ah lil boy ...... 26 years old ..... geh ketch wit 19 grammes of ganja in he JEANS ...... de boy tell de Magistrate ..... dat de reason he cyah stop smoking de herb ....... is because it in his GENES ...... so together with being in his JEANS .... it is also in his GENES ..... he say ganja in his family fuh generations ..... well I nearly dead wit laugh .......
De Magistrate now ...... well she eh too backward either ...... she make meh laugh too ...... cuz she tell de boy ...... dat if it in his genes ..... den is up tuh him to change dat ...... huh?! ...... wha da mean?? ...... ah know yuh could change yuh JEANS ...... but yuh could change yuh GENES?? ...... anyway ..... she was really tryin tuh show de boy ah form ..... tuh leh him know dat ....... if he continued along his path of addiction ..... that maybe it would be best if he didn't have children ...... cuz den wha go happen ..... it go be he, grandpa, grandma, he chile mudda and he chile ....... jus smokin weed ...... since weed in dey GENES!!
De Magistrate ..... who clearly had ah lil compassion ...... in her genes ...... end up givin de boy ah bligh ...... cuz wha yuh go really do with a boy ....... who geh ketch wit ganja in he jeans ..... when it done ahready all up in he genes?! ..... wha I doh understand tho ....... is if it in he genes ........ den why de need tuh smoke ....... cuz dat sound tuh me ...... like yuh done ahready like ah walkin splif!?
Well yes ....... weed in yuh jeans ....... because weed in yuh genes!
PS: ah lil tidbit ..... from de same papers ...... UWI offerin ah M.Sc. in Cricket Studies ..... Grrrrrrr??????? ..... like dem pullin too!!!!
Wait..really? At least the child creative.
And a Masters in Cricket Studies? What the hell you going to do with that?
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I think I need to introduce you to my neighbours, they have that ganja thing going on for sure. They generous too, they share with everybody, well, at least the smell! When they finish you don't need to get your own!
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Dee, da'is wha ah sayin .... de chile eh really creative yuh know .... is de ganja facilitate dat .... and da cricket scene ...... hmmmm .... ah watchin it rite now ... WI vs Australia .... it goin good!
Coffeewallah gyul ........ I DO have neighbours like dat .... da'is how ah know bout de 'effects'
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Indeed.
The time to press for legalisation is near...
The judges themselves are obviously getting good grade and becoming sympathetic to smokers who have been arrested and charged for this thoroughly harmless "offense"...
We need to organise a big smokers meeting and make our stand.
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