This one's a NOVELTY!

Ah could always count on de newspapers ..... tuh get meh daily ganja fix!!!

What intrigues me most ...... about ganja ....... is de kinda foolishness it does make people think ....... and speak ...... actually ...... leh meh leave it at jus ....... speak ....... cuz if any of dem ...... ganja smokers ....... who get ketch ...... did tink ....... before dey speak ...... de crap we does read in de papers ...... woulda be non-existent ..... ah could never understand ...... why dey doh jus say ...... "ah like it"!!

Now is not every ganja story ...... does ketch meh eh ....... but ....... de one ah read today ........ make meh remember one ah read last week ........ where ah man tell de Judge ....... dat he does use ganja fuh 'piles' ........ yep 'hemorrhoids' ........ and more specifically ...... fuh de pain ...... now I never had piles ....... so I doh really know what de man was goin tru ....... but couldn't he jus scratch he bumsee or sumtin ....... or use some Preparation H ........ he doh have TV ...... he never see de ad?! ....... or even 'Senna' as de Judge questioned ...... yeah ...... de Judge ask him if he ever hear bout 'Senna' ....... why didn't he jus buy one ah dem tings ..... ah sure it woulda be cheaper ..... and legal too!!! ...... or why didn't he just say ....... "ah does smoke cuz ah like to"?!

Anyway ...... altho I found that story ridiculous ....... and quite worthy of mention ...... fuh whatever reason ...... I didn't end up writin about it ...... but today's Express ganja story ....... well ...... let's just say ....... it was a NOVELTY ....... and I just couldn't pass up the opportunity to crap on it ....... it involves a man ....... named ....... you guessed it ...... NOVELTY ....... to whom ganja was definitely ...... no 'novelty' ...... and his son Dexter ...... who claims he smoked it cuz of family problems ...... well DUH!!! ...... of course he have family problems ....... first off his father name is NOVELTY ...... Novelty is 68 years old ...... and still smokin ganja ...... and Dexter is 32 years old ..... and smokin wit his father ....... and on top ah dat ....... his name is simply Dexter ...... not 'SPECIALTY' ...... or some precious name like daddy ...... of course he would have family problems ..... but again ...... why didn't he jus say ........ 'ah does smoke cuz ah like to"?!

So let's see ....... one did it tuh ease de pain from dog bites ....... one did it cuz it in his genes (and jeans) ...... one did it fuh de 'piles' he have ...... one did it cuz at age 68 it was still a Novelty ..... one did it cuz he have family problems ...... ahhhhhh ....... SIGH ....... rest assured ...... de silliness doh end here ....... I guarantee you ...... dat by de end of de week ...... REALITY ..... will produce ...... another NOVELTY ...... when yet a dumber reason is revealed!





PS:  Detour's 'Who's yuh Daddy' sale has been held over by Popular Demand .... what???