Ahhhhh ...... that is a title I used ....... since 2000 ..... on a letter to the editor ..... about TSTT and the Licensing Authority ....... and ....... surprisingly (or NOT) ..... 8 years later ..... dat same title ..... still apt!! ...... it still relevant ...... and very versatile too ..... cuz yuh could attach it tuh anyting ...... so after a very annoying phone call I had this morning ...... I figured I'd use it again ...... this time ..... to write about TOYOTA!!!

Now I doh know what it is ..... maybe is me ...... maybe I need to change my karma or sumtin ....... or maybe I need tuh go look fuh ah new aura ...... cuz crap just seems to linger in my air ....... it in meh country ..... it in meh life ..... and now it in meh car ....... and I have really been trying ...... hard ..... to find something positive to write about ....... but so far ....... SALT!

Four years ago ...... I purchased a vehicle from TOYOTA ...... and from de get go ...... tings start off on de wrong foot!!!

After a very encouraging first encounter with the sales team (aka chain-up artists!) ...... I agreed to 'purchase' ...... however ..... following said agreement ...... a string of errors began tuh occur ....... climaxing with the delivery of de wrong car ....... which was only discovered ...... when I excitedly made my way to TOYOTA (in traffic!) ...... jumped out of my old car ..... practically ran in to see my new car ...... and realised that that was not the car I ordered ...... could you believe ...... TOYOTA went and register de wrong car fuh me ...... LAWD!!! ....... ah shoulda see dat ...... as ah sign of things tuh come!!!

So anyway ..... dey park up de 'wrong car' ...... and then had tuh go order de rite car ..... and I too ..... then had tuh go get a new mortgage bill of sale (at another $531) ..... take more time off from work ...... more inconvenience ..... etc. etc. etc. ..... while TOYOTA was still holding on very tight ...... tuh all my money ...... while I still had no car ...... so yuh know at dis point ..... I had was tuh make de whole of TOYOTA know ...... dat some imps ...... do shit ...... especially after de Managing Director had de AUDACITY tuh tell me ..... dat even if my money was still in my account ..... it would not have been earning any big setta interest ...... Grrrrrrrr???? ...... well yuh know I very nicely told him ....... wit his 'Managing Director' aloof attitude ...... dat he @#$%^& farse and outta place ..... and whether is 1% interest ah woulda get ..... AH STILL EH GETTING IT!!! ...... cuz he have meh money (an' ah still doh have meh new car!) ..... so yes ...... the Managing Director ...... right down tuh de imps who do de crap ..... end up in de mix ...... anyway ...... ting ting ting ...... bout ah week (or two) later ah get meh new car ...... and for my pain and suffering ..... dey cut off ah lil 5 grand from de price ..... so tings was nice again ..... that is ..... until time came for the 'service'!!!

People ...... ah love meh car eh ...... but de after service at TOYOTA ........ STINKS!!! ...... da'is de nicest, blog friendly way ah could say it ....... service like theirs ...... does make yuh feel tuh run ah mock!!!

TOYOTA have so much ah damn car on de road ...... dat it takes nearly two months to get an appointment ....... den when yuh appointment reach ...... de two months later ...... dey want tuh tell me dis morning ...... dat dey eh seein it on de system ...... well yuh know ...... I start tuh get orn STINK now!!!! ..... cuz is fight STINK wit STINK!!!!!

Now anybody who know me ...... know dat ah anal ...... yes ...... apparently .... I'm ah little 'uptight' ...... according to my friends (so ah could just imagine what meh enemies does say!) ....... I am also an extremely meticulous person ...... so if I call your company on X day ..... tuh make an appointment ...... and you give me July 9th as de day ...... ah whole two flickin months later ...... I WILL make a note of it ...... cuz I eh go remember dat!!!

So two months now ...... knowing dat my car have tuh go in to TOYOTA tomorrow ...... I make arrangements wit a friend tuh go wit meh ..... tuh drop de car ...... and tuh go with meh de next day ..... tuh pick up de car ...... so anyway ..... said friend ..... was confirmin arrangements with meh this morning ...... when he recommended dat I call TOYOTA ...... jus tuh confirm everything ..... now I doh normally call dem eh ..... I does jus turn up with meh car ...... well maybe he had a sixth sense ...... cuz when I call ....... to which I got "HELLO" ...... no Good Morning ...... no Jane speaking ....... no Good Morning Toyota Service Department ....... jus HELLO ...... de "HELLO gyul" go tell me ...... dat I probably make a mistake ...... HELLO?????!!!!!!!!!! ....... I doh make dem kinda mistake! ....... she mad?! ....... ah tell her dat SHE is de one who do shit (well in ah nutshell - cuz ah tell her plenty more dan dat ) ...... and dat SHE need tuh find my appointment ...... anyway ...... extremely long story .... short ....... de gyul boil meh down like bhagi ...... kiss meh ass lil bit ..... and tell meh tuh bring de car dis afternoon ...... mind you .... ah eh gettin it back til Thursday eh!!

These companies really don't realise ....... how they inconvenience people ....... dropping off my car to service ..... is not as simple as driving to the Service Centre ....... jumping out of the car ...... and disappearing into thin air ...... I had pick-ups and drop offs tuh organise ..... which means other people had tuh make their arrangements too ..... such as takin time off from their work too etc. ...... is ah whole bloody chain reaction ..... when you simply tell me ..... dat you EH SEEIN MY APPOINTMENT ON DE SYSTEM!!! ...... den REBOOT de damn system ...... when I used tuh work in de Bank ..... we used tuh master use dat standard excuse ...... it tired now ...... get ah new one!!!

After de whole drama ...... it dawned on me ...... dat is only because ah get orn STINK ....... and didn't take 'NO' ...... dat ah end up gettin meh pre-set appointment ...... and it made me wonder ....... why it is ....... dat yuh does get what is rightfully yours ...... only when yuh get orn? ....... why can't something as simple as entering an appointment on a system ...... go right ....... why dey does tell yuh bring yuh car 7:30 am ...... and yuh cyah get it back til 5:30 pm when de place close ...... why it is ...... when yuh drop off de car ..... dey does promise tuh call yuh when it ready ..... and dey doh call ....... why it is ....... on de one time ..... out of ah 100 times ..... dat dey DO call ...... it does be at 5:00 pm  ...... and de place closing 5:30 pm ..... and I livin Diego ...... and have tuh be stressing out in traffic tuh Barataria ...... tuh try an reach by 5:30 pm ......... why it is ...... EVERY SINGLE TIME ..... I have ever taken my car (and my parents car) ..... to TOYOTA ..... to service ...... dey doh wash de damn car when dey done ..... dey supposed tuh give yuh ah lil courtesy wash ....... but somehow ....... dey always lackin courtesy ..... cuz de car does always be delivered dirty ....... EVERY SINGLE TIME ..... and is not dat I lookin fuh ah free wash ...... but doh print on my Invoice dat I get ah courtesy wash ...... when ah didn't get none! ....... and den give meh some cock-and-bull story ..... bout de wash boy eh come out today ...... or de wash bay eh ready yet ...... or dey run outta time ....... GEEEEEEZ ..... any idiot know dat dat is BS!!!!

Oh ....... and doh talk bout service costs ...... da'is ah whole odda post ....... imagine de odda day ..... my AC wasn't workin ...... so I call TOYOTA ...... cuz again ..... ah anal like dat ...... anyting wrong ....... I does go back tuh TOYOTA ..... anyway ...... I call dem tuh organise fuh de AC tuh service or whatever dey does do ...... so I ask de gyul de estimated cost ...... she go tell me $5000 ...... so ah tell her ...... NO ...... is not ah new AC ah buyin ...... ah jus need the existing one 'serviced' ...... she say HOLD ON ...... you know when de gyul come back on de phone ...... she say 'yes Miss its $5000' ....... so I hang up and take meh car tuh dat AC place on Wrightson Road ..... the cost was $1200 ....... it jus needed gasin ..... you eh see TOYOTA mad in dey rukukutungkung!!!!!!!!

TOYOTA just recently got a brand new Service Centre ...... a couple streets away from de old one ....... so it still in Barataria ....... and WOW ...... very impressive ....... beautiful structure ...... but JAH!!! ...... is only de structure new ..... cuz is de same old shit service!!!

Ah love meh car ..... it does work real good ....... but ah doh know if ah go ever buy ah TOYOTA again!!!!