Crap dat eh pass meh ....

And just when I thought ...... I had interesting news ..... wit meh horse story ....... dis weekend ah bounce up these in de papers ...... hmmmmm: 


No. 1

A house dat was gettin electricity ...... from an extended electricity cord connected tuh de house in front ...... mysteriously went up in flames ...... and a 21 month old baby boy perished ...... Firemen suspect it was an electrical fire ...... de baby boy ...... was left in the care of his 11 year old sister ...... and two other siblings ...... 8 and 7 ...... while de mother went tuh de shop ...... and de father was at work ...... de 11 old year old ...... who sustained burns too ..... while trying to save her baby brother ...... is now overcome with grief and stricken with guilt ....... WHA??? ..... why was this kind of responsibility placed on an 11 year old child???


No. 2

A man get ah 'bad drive' ...... and he run off de road ...... onto de pavement ..... nearly lickin down two men ...... well de two men get vex ...... and ah argument start up among de three of dem ...... while quarrel goin orn ..... one of de men run off ..... and come back wit ah "chinese chopper" ...... chop up de man (who nearly knock dong he an he padna) ...... and calmly leave de scene ..... wit de man bleedin tuh death on de pavement ...... de man still in hospital ...... in serious condition ....... WHA???


No. 3

A Diego man was chatting with another man ....... on de pavement ..... on Independence Square ...... when ah nex man ...... appear outta nowhere ...... and open fire on de Diego man ..... jus so ..... in broad daylight ...... 1:00 pm ..... hot sun ..... de man get shoot up several times ...... Police ..... who happen tuh be patrollin at de time ...... pick up de man off de pavement ...... trow him in de back of dey patrol pickup ...... and whisked him off tuh de hospital ...... he later died ...... WHA???


No. 4

A Diego man ...... went tuh check he gyul ....... in Toco ....... WHA??? (dat IS love!!!) ....... and he car get tief outside de gyul house ..... on discovering dat he car gorn ..... Mr. Man report de theft tuh de Matura Police ...... later on ..... Police in San Juan find de car ....... and de tief ..... you know de man was pullin bull ...... de man was runnin PH taxi wit de tief car!! ....... WHA??? ...... de boldfaceness!!!


No. 5

Dwight Yorke ...... like he get a bout of 'pity' fuh de national team ..... so he decide tuh try and help dem out ...... in dey bid tuh go World Cup 2010 ...... well HELLO ....... like he eh clear it wit he current Manager ....... Keane ...... Keane say ..... he eh know nuttin bout Yorke comin outta international retirement ....... tuh play no football ...... fuh no Soca Warriors ...... as far as Keane concern ..... he done ahready doh have de services of Kenwyne Jones (another T&T player) ...... fuh de same shit ...... so he eh releasin Dwight Yorke too ..... de man say ....... Yorke will not be playing ..... he also say ..... dat he know dat Yorke "bloody play a few weeks ago"! ..... de man just peeved ..... dat Yorke keeps making guest appearances fuh T&T ...... LOL!!!


No. 6

A leading psychiatrist (ah tink he wuz de Head of de Mad House) ..... who recently delivered a lecture ..... at a mental health seminar ...... called on religious leaders ...... tuh stop bamboozlin their followers ....... into tinkin dat dey possessed by demons and other supernatural entities ..... when is mad dey mad!!! ....... according to Mr. Psychiatrist ...... de only difference between ah priest ...... and ah obeah man ..... is dat one does practice white magic ...... and de odda does deal up in black magic ...... he also advised dat ...... Indian people are more prone to depression ..... African people are more prone tuh psychosis ...... psychiatry is for mad people ..... and religion is for normal people ...... WHA??? ...... I'm so glad he cleared up all those gray areas ...... LOL!!!


No. 7

Well yes ..... T&TEC havin ah ....... CUSTOMER APPRECIATION DAY ...... fuh what???? ....... is not like we could go anywhere else fuh electricity ...... anyway ...... they say ...... its in an effort to bond with their valued customers ...... all you have to do ..... is pay yuh bill in full ...... on July 25 ..... at any of T&TEC's 14 Service Centres ...... fill out an entry form by de Cashier (and make sure dey stamp it) ...... and drop it off in de Customer Appreciation Day Box ..... and you could win ......... OK DRUMROLL PLEASE ..... you could win ..... a DELIGHTFUL HAMPER ...... and get this ..... you'll also enjoy refreshments, novelty giveaways (like current maybe!!!) ...... and T&TEC's warm hospitality ..... WTF??? ....... why de ass dey doh give away 'UNINTERRUPTED ELECTRICITY' instead ...... STEUPS!!!


No. 8

De Trinidad and Tobago Under-17 women footballers ....... draw wit Costa Rica ...... 0-0 ....... they must now salvage a draw tomorrow ....... in their final game ...... with the United States ..... in order to ensure a place in the semi-final ....... WHA??? ....... T&T have ah Under-17 'women' football team????!!


No. 9

While walking along High Street, Sando ..... a 28 year old Granville boy ...... was beaten and robbed at knife-point ...... by three men ...... at 2:00 o'clock in de mornin ...... dey tief de boy pants ........ his hat ....... and some grocery items ...... including a $25 block of cheese ..... and a jar of peanut butter ..... WHA??? ....... de reporter actually 'reported' de price of de cheese ..... and who de ass does be walkin down de road ...... dat hour of de mornin ..... wit groceries???


No. 10

Remember de man .... who went and complain ....... bout pipers and drug addicts ...... using de cemetery as a sex den ..... yeah ...... de one who living in a tree house ..... in ah sapodilla tree in de cemetery ...... well ...... there was a follow up story in de Guardian dis weekend ...... where it was reported dat de man have tuh move out ..... and not cuz ...... he squattin eh ...... but cuz he runnin a biz ...... yep ...... apparently de man does sell lil refreshments and ting ...... tuh people attendin funerals ..... and while de Regional Corporation doh a have problem wit mobile vendors ...... da'is de ones who does sell dey ting (tuh mourners) ..... and ride out as soon as dey put de dead into de ground (this is exactly how dey put it in de papers!) ....... dey have ah problem wit Mr. Man ...... cuz in their view ..... because he livin dey ..... dat falls under de heading of "operatin ah small business" ...... which is definitely not acceptable ..... livin in de tree house ..... no probs ..... hidin out tuh have sex and take drugs an ting ...... no probs ....... but there is to be absolutely no selling of refreshments to mourners ...... WHA??? ..... LOL!!!


No. 11

So people are hurt ..... people are angry ....... two very young lives were lost ...... during a hiking expedition ....... OK ...... understandable ....... but wud up wit de Pastor ...... who officiated at one of the funerals ...... getting involved in de whole ...... "who tuh blame fuh de deaths" scene ...... WHA??? ...... as far as I know ..... da'is not a Pastor's function ...... tuh indulge in pointing fingers ...... and condemin people ...... and being judge and jury!


No. 12

Online Passport applications soon ...... so says ...... Kennedy Swaratsingh ...... Public Administration Minister ..... WHA??? ....... what exactly does this mean ...... cuz the way it was reported ...... sounds like its just an alternative ....... tuh dialing ah number ..... tuh make de appointment ..... it doh sound like they'll have de actual Application Form online fuh yuh tuh complete ..... so wuz de sense?!


No. 13

CAUTION was in Anchorage dis weekend ...... WHA??? ....... Anchorage still around???!!


No. 14

Indian Expos ..... in Tunapuna ...... and Centre of Excellence ...... WHA??? ...... dey come back ahready ....... dem Indians doh make joke bwoy!!!


No. 15

So Soca 4 Summer ....... come, gorn and buss ....... and up next is ....... Summer Fest 2008 (ah hope it doh rain!) ....... wit Keyshia Cole ...... T-Pain ...... and Bunji and Fay-Ann ....... WHA??? ...... looks like another buss concert ...... oooooops ....... ah mean 'bess' concert!

 
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Comments

  • July 22, 2008 7:13 AM Hugh Anthony wrote:
    Ms. Wuzdescene, please note that T&T Passport Application Forms have been available on line for quite some time now. Go to >www.immigration.gov.tt< You will be enlightened.
    Reply to this
    1. July 22, 2008 10:16 AM wuzdescene wrote:
      Aye THANKS Hugh ...... since meh passport post de odda day ..... that was another question ah had ..... that is ...... whether yuh could access and complete de Application Form online etc. (like how it is fuh US Visa) ....... so Great ....... good tuh know .... and with this revelation ...... you've also answered my other question ...... so I guess the online crap our Minister speaks of ..... IS really tuh jus get de appointment .......
      Reply to this
  • July 22, 2008 10:35 AM Hugh Anthony wrote:
    I should clarify that, at present, the on-line Form needs to be printed for completion and submission to the Immigration Dept. In this respect the Minister's revelation might be referring to actually completing the Form on line and submitting it on line????? Who knows????? If that is the case then we finally catching up!
    Reply to this
  • July 22, 2008 12:26 PM ban-d-wagonist wrote:
    I not sure if Bunji still in dat DIGICEL SummerFest... ent he is BMOBILE? I not seeing him in d ads anymore!
    Reply to this
    1. July 22, 2008 12:51 PM wuzdescene wrote:
      boy I doh know who is Digicel or Bmobile nah ...... actually ...... ah shouldn't say ah doh know ...... is more like ah doh care ..... but ah see wha yuh sayin ...... and yes .... I do remember him being 'GREEN' ..... along wit Lara and Machel and Shurwayne and de Chutney guy ...... so who knows ..... maybe there's ah kinda subtle 'scene' brewin dey ...... dat de public eh know bout yet ...... cuz yuh know everyting in T&T is ah drama ...... and dey very much in de ads still ....... check out today's Express ...... Page 71 .....

      .... but back tuh what ah wuz tryin tuh imply ...... which is ...... dat de concert seems very weak ...... when de original cast was Keyshia Cole and Lil Wayne ...... ah coulda understand dat ...... dat sounded like ah OK concert ....... but yuh go replace Lil Wayne ..... wit T-Pain ...... dat I cyah understand at all!!! ...... cuz what T-Pain does sing ....... he does sing anyting by heself??? ...... aren't all his songs collaborations?? ....... anyway ..... maybe it'll still be a great concert ...... we'll see.
      Reply to this
  • July 22, 2008 2:52 PM aka_lol wrote:
    People go mad in different ways and it was nice of the good doctor to point this out. I wonder what Douglas, Chinese and Whites are more prone to.

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    A true on-line passport application system will involve no attending an office but a webcam interview...like the way the porn people do it.

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    T&TEC customer appreciation day?? How I miss that ad? It go be current roll fuh so.

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    Why is it called Under-17? So a 12-year-old and a 5-year-old could be in that team.

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    The problem with the vendor running a small business from the cemetery is a big one. All these vendors start off with some little refreshments then end up selling appliances on HP. I say nip it in de bud.

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    Reply to this
    1. July 22, 2008 3:02 PM wuzdescene wrote:
      you really have de rite name yes ....... look de &TEC ad in today's Express ...... Page 17 ....... "sellin appliances on HP" ..... LMAO!!!
      Reply to this
  • July 22, 2008 9:14 PM Zee wrote:
    so wait people not going keyshia cole?? i thought that would sell...i hear rell people going tribe though maybe including me
    Reply to this
  • July 23, 2008 11:32 PM Penze wrote:
    No 4 & 6 well crackin me.
    Reply to this
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