Is ah man ting ..... or ah Trini ting?
Men really from Mars yes! ..... had tuh be!!
.... cuz after sitting down on dis one ...... fuh ah few days well ....... contemplating whether to post or roast ....... while picturing de gross stuff that its about ...... all of which ...... interestingly ...... were perpetrated by men!!! ...... I heard something this morning ..... dat pushed me (off de edge) ..... tuh go tru hard! ...... and I wondered ..... were the gross-ities ..... typical trini male idiosyncrasies ....... or just nasty men .... being nasty?!
As y'all know ...... I live in apartments ....... and I have a neighbour ..... who HAWKS whole day ..... well not whole day really ..... but at least two sessions in de morning ..... one in de afternoon ...... and a few at night ...... hmmmmm ..... wait ah minute ...... dat IS whole day!!! ....... now I doh really know what de boy problem is .... be it ..... an eternal flu ..... sinus ...... no broughtupsy ...... or jus plain nastiness ...... an ah doh really care either ...... cuz whatever he problem is ..... I doh understand ..... why EVERY DAY ...... I should have tuh be subjected tuh hearin ...... ah nasty, little, untrained pig ...... pullin all he snat from he ...... head ..... and he nose ...... and he toes ...... into de back ah he troat ...... rounds it up .... wit ah loud ass COUGH ..... den HAWKIN it forward ....... and finally SPITTIN it out ....... right dey on de ground ...... wherever he happen tuh be standin! ...... which is always ...... right outside my window!!!! ..... CRINGE!!! ...... you know what it is tuh hear dat in mid-swallow ...... while yuh eatin breakfast, or lunch or dinner! ..... where did this boy ....... learn dat shit ..... why is he so comfortable 'Hawking' ...... all over de compound ..... fuh everybody tuh hear ...... instead of in de privacy of his bathroom?
Den last week Friday ...... some time in de mornin ..... I was parked on Ariapita Avenue ...... outside Republic Bank ...... coolly waiting on a friend who went eeen de Bank ....... so wit AC running ....... and anticipating a quick return of fren ..... I eh really bother tuh occupy mehself ..... so there I was ...... vibesin tuh some real slammin selections on de radio ..... and takin eeeeen de sights on de Avenue ...... when a man walks up tuh my car ...... steps off the pavement ..... in front of my car ....... bends over (just a tad) ..... and leggo ...... one long dribbly big ass nasty spit ........ yuh know de kind ..... dat doh know if it want tuh disconnect from yuh lips ..... and den when it decide tuh take de plunge ....... some decide tuh spring back?! ....... UGHHHHHH!!!!! ...... I jus wanted to vomit! ...... lil bit again ..... de spit woulda end up on meh bonnet! ..... now ah want tuh believe dat de man ..... didn't know somebody was in de car ...... cuz how could you just spit ...... right in front of somebody ...... I would be so shame tuh do dat ..... ah mean ..... if yuh really have tuh must ...... and it really eh have nowhere tuh 'hide' ...... den oh gorm ..... flip de scrip nah ..... try ah different style spit ..... like de clean ..... sharp ...... sprint-like one ........ woulda been gross too ..... but oh so much better!
..... then like some kinda weird coincidence ..... de very next day (Saturday 30) ...... guess what I see on de Diego Martin Highway ...... ah man pull aside on de shoulder ...... jump out he car ...... stand up right dey ...... in full view of everybody on de highway ...... whip out his penis ..... and proceeded tuh make ah 'pee fountain' ..... ah pee fountain?????? ...... Oh gosh man ....... you go be tiefin ah chance ..... and makin ah pee fountain ...... hole it down!!! ..... and yes ...... I know dat for men ...... the world is their toilet ...... but GEEEEZ ....... if yuh really have tuh pull it out ..... in public ...... as least be lil discreet nah ...... at least go behind de car or sumtin ...... nobody enjoys a pee fountain!! ....... well unless you're the 'pee-er' ..... and no ..... I DO NOT have penis envy ...... and oh ..... I saw this ...... TWICE ...... on de same highway ....... on de same night ...... what are de odds of witnessing two pee fountains in one night ...... in de same place ...... but den again ...... is Trini!
..... and as ah on de topic of penises ....... where do men learn to grab their crotch area ...... is it that they makin sure all de goods still dey ...... is it dat dey rearrangin de goods ..... is it dat it itchin and dey secretly scratchin it ....... wha? ....... wuz da scene ..... some men ...... does jus grab ...... while dey talkin tuh yuh ...... while dey walkin down de road ..... while dey just standing up chillin ....... wuz da one?
Same day ..... also seen TWICE ..... bareback men (not vagrants) ..... calmly walkin down de road ...... where do men learn dat is OK tuh leave de house ...... half naked ...... tuh walk down de road ....... especially when de 'clothed' half ...... sportsin dem dotish 3/4 pants ...... dat always fallin off ..... exposing dey drawers ...... supposin I was was tuh walk down de road wit no top on ...... OK no ... doh suppose dat (bad example)
Then about two weeks ago ....... in traffic ..... on de CR highway ...... I was waitin fuh de TCM traffic light tuh turn green ..... while chatting wit cous ..... who was in de front passenger seat ..... when .... to my horror ...... meh eye ketch de driver ...... in de car next tuh meh ....... lustily diggin he nose ..... or let me say 'picking' ..... that sounds better ..... yes Mr. Man was having a party ...... and all and sundry were invited ..... now I eh sayin .... yuh mus drive wit ah dirty nose eh ...... but Jah ..... yuh go clean it out in traffic ....... wha bout yuh house ..... or yuh bathroom ..... or de shower?! ....... where did men learn to pick their nose at will ...... anywhere ....... any time ..... in public ...... cuz dis is something yuh bound tuh see any day ...... anytime ....... and .... my boy wasn't jus pickin eh! ....... was pick ...... inspec ........ roll ...... and flick!! ...... tank gawd he didn't hit we de ...... 'pick, inspec and lick'! ...... GROSS! ...... pickin yuh nose is such a private party ....... only yuh nose .... and dat special finger .... need attend!!
An hear nah ...... I only scratch de surface here eh ..... it still have more ting like ...... sootin ...... and belchin ....... and fartin ...... yet another batch of uncouthness ..... dat men doh seem tuh have no qualms bout doin!
So what is it really?
Is it a 'Trini' male thing ....... or is it a general male thing ....... cuz females doh indulge in dem kinda nastiness ....... is it that females are born with a 'shame' gene ...... is it that females are groomed to be prudes ...... is it that males are brought up tuh have no shame? ...... and why are males and females ...... socialised so differently anyway ....... is it because girls are made of ..... sugar and spice and everything nice ....... and boys are made of snips and snails and puppy dogs' tails ....... did Mother Goose doom da species ..... or are men really from Mars!!!
.... cuz after sitting down on dis one ...... fuh ah few days well ....... contemplating whether to post or roast ....... while picturing de gross stuff that its about ...... all of which ...... interestingly ...... were perpetrated by men!!! ...... I heard something this morning ..... dat pushed me (off de edge) ..... tuh go tru hard! ...... and I wondered ..... were the gross-ities ..... typical trini male idiosyncrasies ....... or just nasty men .... being nasty?!
As y'all know ...... I live in apartments ....... and I have a neighbour ..... who HAWKS whole day ..... well not whole day really ..... but at least two sessions in de morning ..... one in de afternoon ...... and a few at night ...... hmmmmm ..... wait ah minute ...... dat IS whole day!!! ....... now I doh really know what de boy problem is .... be it ..... an eternal flu ..... sinus ...... no broughtupsy ...... or jus plain nastiness ...... an ah doh really care either ...... cuz whatever he problem is ..... I doh understand ..... why EVERY DAY ...... I should have tuh be subjected tuh hearin ...... ah nasty, little, untrained pig ...... pullin all he snat from he ...... head ..... and he nose ...... and he toes ...... into de back ah he troat ...... rounds it up .... wit ah loud ass COUGH ..... den HAWKIN it forward ....... and finally SPITTIN it out ....... right dey on de ground ...... wherever he happen tuh be standin! ...... which is always ...... right outside my window!!!! ..... CRINGE!!! ...... you know what it is tuh hear dat in mid-swallow ...... while yuh eatin breakfast, or lunch or dinner! ..... where did this boy ....... learn dat shit ..... why is he so comfortable 'Hawking' ...... all over de compound ..... fuh everybody tuh hear ...... instead of in de privacy of his bathroom?
Den last week Friday ...... some time in de mornin ..... I was parked on Ariapita Avenue ...... outside Republic Bank ...... coolly waiting on a friend who went eeen de Bank ....... so wit AC running ....... and anticipating a quick return of fren ..... I eh really bother tuh occupy mehself ..... so there I was ...... vibesin tuh some real slammin selections on de radio ..... and takin eeeeen de sights on de Avenue ...... when a man walks up tuh my car ...... steps off the pavement ..... in front of my car ....... bends over (just a tad) ..... and leggo ...... one long dribbly big ass nasty spit ........ yuh know de kind ..... dat doh know if it want tuh disconnect from yuh lips ..... and den when it decide tuh take de plunge ....... some decide tuh spring back?! ....... UGHHHHHH!!!!! ...... I jus wanted to vomit! ...... lil bit again ..... de spit woulda end up on meh bonnet! ..... now ah want tuh believe dat de man ..... didn't know somebody was in de car ...... cuz how could you just spit ...... right in front of somebody ...... I would be so shame tuh do dat ..... ah mean ..... if yuh really have tuh must ...... and it really eh have nowhere tuh 'hide' ...... den oh gorm ..... flip de scrip nah ..... try ah different style spit ..... like de clean ..... sharp ...... sprint-like one ........ woulda been gross too ..... but oh so much better!
..... then like some kinda weird coincidence ..... de very next day (Saturday 30) ...... guess what I see on de Diego Martin Highway ...... ah man pull aside on de shoulder ...... jump out he car ...... stand up right dey ...... in full view of everybody on de highway ...... whip out his penis ..... and proceeded tuh make ah 'pee fountain' ..... ah pee fountain?????? ...... Oh gosh man ....... you go be tiefin ah chance ..... and makin ah pee fountain ...... hole it down!!! ..... and yes ...... I know dat for men ...... the world is their toilet ...... but GEEEEZ ....... if yuh really have tuh pull it out ..... in public ...... as least be lil discreet nah ...... at least go behind de car or sumtin ...... nobody enjoys a pee fountain!! ....... well unless you're the 'pee-er' ..... and no ..... I DO NOT have penis envy ...... and oh ..... I saw this ...... TWICE ...... on de same highway ....... on de same night ...... what are de odds of witnessing two pee fountains in one night ...... in de same place ...... but den again ...... is Trini!
..... and as ah on de topic of penises ....... where do men learn to grab their crotch area ...... is it that they makin sure all de goods still dey ...... is it dat dey rearrangin de goods ..... is it dat it itchin and dey secretly scratchin it ....... wha? ....... wuz da scene ..... some men ...... does jus grab ...... while dey talkin tuh yuh ...... while dey walkin down de road ..... while dey just standing up chillin ....... wuz da one?
Same day ..... also seen TWICE ..... bareback men (not vagrants) ..... calmly walkin down de road ...... where do men learn dat is OK tuh leave de house ...... half naked ...... tuh walk down de road ....... especially when de 'clothed' half ...... sportsin dem dotish 3/4 pants ...... dat always fallin off ..... exposing dey drawers ...... supposin I was was tuh walk down de road wit no top on ...... OK no ... doh suppose dat (bad example)
Then about two weeks ago ....... in traffic ..... on de CR highway ...... I was waitin fuh de TCM traffic light tuh turn green ..... while chatting wit cous ..... who was in de front passenger seat ..... when .... to my horror ...... meh eye ketch de driver ...... in de car next tuh meh ....... lustily diggin he nose ..... or let me say 'picking' ..... that sounds better ..... yes Mr. Man was having a party ...... and all and sundry were invited ..... now I eh sayin .... yuh mus drive wit ah dirty nose eh ...... but Jah ..... yuh go clean it out in traffic ....... wha bout yuh house ..... or yuh bathroom ..... or de shower?! ....... where did men learn to pick their nose at will ...... anywhere ....... any time ..... in public ...... cuz dis is something yuh bound tuh see any day ...... anytime ....... and .... my boy wasn't jus pickin eh! ....... was pick ...... inspec ........ roll ...... and flick!! ...... tank gawd he didn't hit we de ...... 'pick, inspec and lick'! ...... GROSS! ...... pickin yuh nose is such a private party ....... only yuh nose .... and dat special finger .... need attend!!
An hear nah ...... I only scratch de surface here eh ..... it still have more ting like ...... sootin ...... and belchin ....... and fartin ...... yet another batch of uncouthness ..... dat men doh seem tuh have no qualms bout doin!
So what is it really?
Is it a 'Trini' male thing ....... or is it a general male thing ....... cuz females doh indulge in dem kinda nastiness ....... is it that females are born with a 'shame' gene ...... is it that females are groomed to be prudes ...... is it that males are brought up tuh have no shame? ...... and why are males and females ...... socialised so differently anyway ....... is it because girls are made of ..... sugar and spice and everything nice ....... and boys are made of snips and snails and puppy dogs' tails ....... did Mother Goose doom da species ..... or are men really from Mars!!!
Well......huh.......ah jus have to put in meh 2 cents worth....ah hope it ain turn a dollar.........because ah have to agree with you on so many counts that I doh know where to start....Men had to be from some odder planet, an ah ain sure is even Mars......de hawkin I cyar stand.....I experienced that in the Ladies room in a square place
Reply to this
aye Samba ...... thanks fuh de $2.00 ....... nuff said ...... we on de same page
Reply to this
LOL........ i tink is ah man ting....& it varies with economic, social & cultural background.......yes we are dogs.....just some of us are disciplined in ah variety of ways & some are not at all.......
Reply to this
(I am being very proper here)So Paul....what are you saying? If one has money and culture, one does not hold on to ones penis, does not urinate and does not "hawk"in public. (NIggardly)Oh please...I see dem bigsawatee men doing all ah dat in de road for ca'nival...so explain dat!!!!!
Reply to this
Paul darling ..... ah didn't want tuh go de 'men are dogs' route ..... but I so glad you say it ...... as man ...... cuz yuh rite ..... and some ah dem ...... are just downright ..... pothounds!
Reply to this
..ahem ... i had a very pretty very dignified girlfriend and her older sister and mother used to real HAWK in de bathroom in de morning.. so it eh just MEN ..
Reply to this
LOL Hayden
Reply to this
I admit male humans are less discrete than their female counterparts and would be the first to admit so but being less discrete is one of the things that distinguish men from women. I agree with Paul in that it is more common with some than others and you don't see Patos hawking and spitting in public. trinisamba identified men peeing anywhere and at anytime. I think not being able to hold one's beer and rum is now a national male epidemic. Like the "Too Nice Not To Be Nice" ad campaign one should be launched targeting males and saying something like "Don't Pick Yuh Nose If Yuh Exposed" or "We Don't Want To See When Yuh Wee Wee" or even "If Yuh Want To Grab Yuh Thing Do It When Yuh Hiding"
Reply to this
but aka ...... females does have tuh hold in dey pee many times too ...... so wha ..... yuh tink we doh drink beer too ...... as a matter of fact ...... THAT is what I drink ...... STAG ....... and believe you me ...... I know what a beer pee is like ...... but I doh go squattin all over de place tuh relieve mehself .....
anyway ...... moving right along ....... doh even start meh on dat silly "TOO NICE NOT TO BE NICE" campaign ...... ah was seriously considering writing about it ..... those ads are de most false setta crap I ever see ..... who de hell in Trinidad (or Tobago) does give service like in dem ads ...... and what tourist go really call she mother ...... as she reach she hotel ..... tuh advise "aye mum, Trinidad has really good service" ....... STEUPS!!!! ...... HOGWASH!!! ..... I quite like your suggestions tho ...... very apt ....... very witty ...... I think you should really propose some new ads
Reply to this
I just thought of this - there are some people, many people, who are too nice to be nice. That might be the root of the problem
Reply to this
Scene girl I can't tell you how many gold diggers I seeing recently, I'm thinking its all that dust in the air from construction that have de people sinus acting up.
As for the spitting in the road, that crawling my blood since I was small and still can't but cringe anytime I see it. I actually swerve my car to get away from it when the driver in front decide to lob a nice juicy one out of his window whilst driving.
As for the hawking business, woe be to me as almost everytime my female spawn comes back from her grandparents house I hear this noise coming out of the bathroom o_0
De crotch grabbing I could deal with ironically, I call it my crab indicator. You know once he grabbing that you not grabbing him...or shaking his hand for that matter. Pressah.
Oh and as a side note, any man under the age of 12 found wearing 3/4 pants should be shot on sight no exceptions.
Reply to this
Ah wonder how China ...... got rid of their public spitting woes ..... in time fuh de Olympics?! ...... cuz yeah .... we need tuh implement same ...... and I'm realising dat dat hawkin ting ...... happenin everywhere ...... just when I tort was my neighbour alone ...... but really and truly ...... ah good hawk ..... does really feel good fuh tru eh
LOL @ gold diggers
Reply to this
I suppose as long as she not holding one nostril and expelling de errrr stuff from her other nostril we good.
I do a post just for you, inspired by an incident that just happened in work today. Women not easy yes
Reply to this
uhm..ok..its a man thing..you made me get a flash back to just WATCHING my dad brush his teeth... i would go running from the room...cause the visual with the foam and the noise to clear the ....*fadda*. yeah i cant go there...
All I'm saying is im yet to hear a woman make those noises in this life..
Reply to this
oh gosh Cliv .... LOL
Reply to this
girl is a man ting to hawk n spit! remember titanic!!!! but yuh see trini man!! they are the worst!!!!! I walkin in arima heading west around the veladrome and a man is to stick his head out the car while he in traffic n hawk and spit on the pavement before me like he gracin the ground for my presence...like if it have disinfectant in he spit! steupssss
Reply to this
Mimi girl ..... the vote seems split ....... some say is ah man ting ...... some say is ah trini ting ...... and some say women too .... does be in de ting ...... so I guess its just a gross human ting
Reply to this