Independence come and gorn ....... Republic Day comin ...... real rain still fallin ...... everywhere still floodin ....... world cup qualifiers ....... we drawin ..... when we should be winnin ...... de Silver boys an dem ...... finally fly in ...... fuh dey lil trini style 'paradin' ...... ah see we Prime Minister on TV last nite ..... real galleryin ...... right now he an de Silver boys muzbe somewhere ramajayin ..... on this day 2 ..... of dey 4 days of dreevayin ...... ah only hope ...... dat wit dey newfound fame ..... and bank account growin ..... dat we doh hear bout no new million dollar kidnappin ....... but wait ..... Ato Boldon still 'yappin'? ..... and ..... tho de 'shut down' ...... get shot down ...... lesson learnt ...... 'stay home' ...... like it doh always work ..... so what next ..... and more importantly ....


Wuz de real flex ...... wit sendin ah text?!

Texting drives me nuts!! ...... tuh tell yuh de honest truth ...... cell phones drive me nuts!!!

I am not a techie ...... I was never interested in things tech ...... actually ..... I am pretty tech challenged ....... but sufficiently tech savvy ...... if that makes any sense at all! ...... so its no surprise ..... that I currently own ....... and have always owned ...... a regular cell phone ...... yep ...... it eh have no TV! ...... and why do I own a cell phone ..... if ah sooo not on dem? ..... well let's face it ..... in dis crazy place we live in ...... yuh have tuh have one ...... if only fuh emergencies ...... a cell phone tuh me ...... is about making a call ...... or receiving a call ...... so who de arse invented TEXTING???? ....... and why do people try to conduct a conversation via same?! .....

...... cuz while I do appreciate the one pro tuh texting ..... which is ..... yuh doh have tuh actually 'talk' tuh de person ..... I cannot fuh de life of me ...... figure out why people ...... send text messages ...... to make elaborate arrangements ...... or tuh organise sumtin ..... or to discuss intricate details ....... or worst of all ....... tuh ole talk!!!

From de time I get one of those ...... de kind dat ...... only an essay could answer ....... is one of four tings does happen ...... depending on meh mood ..... yuh either get a full response ...... in full words ....... cuz ah cyah write lingo tuh save meh life ...... and ..... said response of course reaches you ..... maybe the next day ....... cuz that's how long it takes me to 'type' it!!! ...... or yuh get SALT ...... and I blame it on TSTT ...... or yuh might get ah smiley or ah frown ...... or yuh might get ah big watery STEUPS!!! ..... which by the way ....... requires 30 button presses ..... and a few pauses ...... while yuh patiently wait ....... fuh de cursor tuh jump tuh de next position!!!

Now I didn't just get up ...... on de wrong side of de texting bed eh ..... is a friend of mine who inspired me ..... or rather ...... irritated me ...... yuh see ..... fren had tuh be de KING of texting!! ...... de man .... like he doh know how tuh make ah call ...... brother so chronic ..... I tink his textin speed is probably about 100 w.p.m. ...... wit one finger! ...... and while that may sound pretty amazing ..... its really very nauseating ..... CUZ I CYAH DO DAT!!!

I know how tuh type ..... I dong with de home keys ....... ASDF ....... ;LKJ ........ and thumbs on de spacebar ..... so texting fuh me ...... is an exercise in frustration ...... cuz de buttons on ah cell phone ...... is really ah keypad ...... and not ah keyboard ...... so yuh cyah 'type' ..... and den ..... they're so annoyingly small ....... dat while yuh finger pressin one key ....... yuh nail activatin another ..... and tuh input one letter ...... yuh hadda press ah key 1-4 times ...... and doh even start meh on dat predictive text feature! ...... dat! ..... I never even bother ...... tuh try tuh use dat shit ..... cuz de amount ah crap my cell does 'predict' I want tuh say ....... it jus doh make sense!

But back tuh brudda man wit de speedy fingers ....... de odda day ...... when ah just couldn't take it no more ...... or text no more ..... ah call him ....... yes ...... ah call ....... ah succumb ...... cuz yuh know da'is exactly what chronic texters want ..... they want YOU ..... de textee ....... tuh get fed up ....... and make de call!!! ....... and if dey realise ...... like yuh eh ketchin orn ..... or like yuh eh takin de bait ....... yuh bound tuh get de infamous ...... 'CALL ME' text ...... somewhere in between!!! ...... so anyway ..... ah ask him ...... why it is he does text so much ...... an' he tell meh ..... is less small talk ...... yuh could get tuh de point ...... yuh doh have no dead air (like when angels passin!) ...... yuh doh have tuh indulge in unnecessary niceties and pleasantries (filler) ...... and hence ...... yuh save time and money ..... blah, blah, blah!!
 
Ah realise ...... dat ah had de answer all along ...... frugalness ..... is de hex ...... dat was causing us tuh text ...... BUT OH SHIMPS MAN! ...... scrunting or not ...... after yuh cross de 20th text ....... in de same bloody conversation ....... jus make ah damn call nah ....... and call dat George!!!