Toilet Paper gorn VIP!
Ah never reach de grocery on Friday ...... ah serious rain come down ...... as ah was about tuh leave ..... an yuh know us Trinis ...... nuttin cyah do ..... if it rainin ..... especially when it rainin cats and dogs!
So ...... needless tuh say ...... today ...... ah reach de point of ...... super desperation! ...... rain was still fallin ..... but ah really had tuh go .....
Now when I go tuh de grocery ...... I doh really freak out ..... and get heart attack an ting anymore ...... since dat day ..... ah make out ...... dat meh favourite powder milk is now $46 (ah real small ass pack!) ...... and ah block of cheese is now $25 (ah real mirazmeh block!) ....... nuttin surprises me anymore ..... or so I tort!
Toilet Paper was on meh list ...... and when it comes tuh toilet paper ....... I does jus buy de cheapest 'Made in T&T' brand ...... Hi Dee ...... after all ..... is jus toilet paper ........ but lately ...... I've been noticing ..... a strange scent ..... wit Hi Dee ....... ah kinda ....... recycled toilet paper scent ...... if yuh ketch meh drift! ...... so ah decide dat on dis shoppin venture ....... ah go try sumtin new .....
So ah reach de toilet paper aisle ...... and start tuh check out de different brands ...... when charming CHARMIN charmed me ...... it so cute ...... yuh ever see de ad ..... wit da momma bear ...... and de baby bear ...... where de momma bear ....... runnin down de baby bear ..... wit her dust pan and hand broom ...... tuh dust off baby bear's big fat hairy butt ..... cuz apparently baby bear used an inferior bath tissue ..... and it left pieces behind ...... on his behind ...... then voila ..... Ultra Strong saves the day ...... anyway ....... de ad cute ..... so CHARMIN was it!
Ah reach home now ..... and start tuh pack away everything ...... when de bill fall out de bag ...... well ...... is bess ah did leave it rite dey ..... cuz you wouldn't believe what I see ....... when I pick up da bill! ..... right at de top ....... starrin ....... CHARMIN ....... $40.24 ....... WTF! ..... is cokey I was seein cokey? ...... is $40.00 fuh paper tuh wipe yuh bumsee!? ...... ah get nauseous one time ...... cuz wha de hell ....... Toilet Paper gorn VIP too?! ..... ah real wanted tuh go back tuh de grocery and return it eh ...... but shame hold meh back ....... who de arse does buy dat toilet paper ...... de President ...... who bumsee so high maintenance ...... dat it require $40.00 toilet paper?! ..... as far as I concern ...... at $40.00 ...... dat shit shouldn't be lyin around out in de open ...... fuh any and every 'clueless' body tuh pick up ....... dat shit need ah prescription ....... an ah doh even have tuh tell yuh ...... dat it only coming out on 'special' occasions ...... at $40.00 ..... use go be very sparingly ....... diarrhea an ting eh seein CHARMIN ...... as a matter of fact ..... after ah done rant here ..... ah goin an make ah lil sign tuh place above it ...... MAXIMUM 4 SHEETS PER SESSION ...... cuz 2-ply ..... by 4 sheets ...... is like 8 piece ah paper! ....... at $40.00 ..... gazette paper startin tuh look real good!!!
yuh seein it ...... look it dey ..... in black and white ....... Charmin Ultra Strong ..... $40.24 (doh study de 'bess ah didn't get no discount' discount!)
...... and here's the STAR of the day ...... CHARMIN ...... 'Diamond Weave' (who cares?!) Bathroom Tissue ..... not 'Toilet' Tissue eh ..... but de more bourgeois 'Bathroom' Tissue ..... each roll have 200 ...... 2-ply sheets ...... 10.8 cm x 10.1 cm ..... wit ah claim dat ..... their rolls are so big ..... dat their 6 'big' rolls = 12 regular rolls ..... STEUPS! ...... I measure it ..... is de same size as de Hi Dee roll (10.8 cm x 11.43 cm) ...... actually ..... de Hi Dee lil bigger ..... but watch meh ...... what exactly is ULTRA STRONG toilet paper ...... why does anybody need ULTRA STRONG toilet paper ...... unless you're the bear in the ad ...... ah mean ...... how bad could your skid marks be ...... dat you have tuh upgrade tuh ULTRA STRONG ....... huh!? ....... does it mean yuh could rinse and reuse (like BOUNTY!) ...... wha!? ...... first tuh begin ..... me eh want nuttin ULTRA STRONG rong my bumsee!!!
....... and dis is de good ole faithful 'not too pleasant smelling' Hi Dee ......
At $13.99 ...... compared tuh $40.24 ........ ah go hadda jus spray dat shit wit perfume yes! ..... cuz HELLO ..... at 1/3 de cost ....... it have de same specs ...... and it doin de same dirty job!!!
So DEE gyul ...... HI ........ I'm back!
So ...... needless tuh say ...... today ...... ah reach de point of ...... super desperation! ...... rain was still fallin ..... but ah really had tuh go .....
Now when I go tuh de grocery ...... I doh really freak out ..... and get heart attack an ting anymore ...... since dat day ..... ah make out ...... dat meh favourite powder milk is now $46 (ah real small ass pack!) ...... and ah block of cheese is now $25 (ah real mirazmeh block!) ....... nuttin surprises me anymore ..... or so I tort!
Toilet Paper was on meh list ...... and when it comes tuh toilet paper ....... I does jus buy de cheapest 'Made in T&T' brand ...... Hi Dee ...... after all ..... is jus toilet paper ........ but lately ...... I've been noticing ..... a strange scent ..... wit Hi Dee ....... ah kinda ....... recycled toilet paper scent ...... if yuh ketch meh drift! ...... so ah decide dat on dis shoppin venture ....... ah go try sumtin new .....
So ah reach de toilet paper aisle ...... and start tuh check out de different brands ...... when charming CHARMIN charmed me ...... it so cute ...... yuh ever see de ad ..... wit da momma bear ...... and de baby bear ...... where de momma bear ....... runnin down de baby bear ..... wit her dust pan and hand broom ...... tuh dust off baby bear's big fat hairy butt ..... cuz apparently baby bear used an inferior bath tissue ..... and it left pieces behind ...... on his behind ...... then voila ..... Ultra Strong saves the day ...... anyway ....... de ad cute ..... so CHARMIN was it!
Ah reach home now ..... and start tuh pack away everything ...... when de bill fall out de bag ...... well ...... is bess ah did leave it rite dey ..... cuz you wouldn't believe what I see ....... when I pick up da bill! ..... right at de top ....... starrin ....... CHARMIN ....... $40.24 ....... WTF! ..... is cokey I was seein cokey? ...... is $40.00 fuh paper tuh wipe yuh bumsee!? ...... ah get nauseous one time ...... cuz wha de hell ....... Toilet Paper gorn VIP too?! ..... ah real wanted tuh go back tuh de grocery and return it eh ...... but shame hold meh back ....... who de arse does buy dat toilet paper ...... de President ...... who bumsee so high maintenance ...... dat it require $40.00 toilet paper?! ..... as far as I concern ...... at $40.00 ...... dat shit shouldn't be lyin around out in de open ...... fuh any and every 'clueless' body tuh pick up ....... dat shit need ah prescription ....... an ah doh even have tuh tell yuh ...... dat it only coming out on 'special' occasions ...... at $40.00 ..... use go be very sparingly ....... diarrhea an ting eh seein CHARMIN ...... as a matter of fact ..... after ah done rant here ..... ah goin an make ah lil sign tuh place above it ...... MAXIMUM 4 SHEETS PER SESSION ...... cuz 2-ply ..... by 4 sheets ...... is like 8 piece ah paper! ....... at $40.00 ..... gazette paper startin tuh look real good!!!
yuh seein it ...... look it dey ..... in black and white ....... Charmin Ultra Strong ..... $40.24 (doh study de 'bess ah didn't get no discount' discount!)
...... and here's the STAR of the day ...... CHARMIN ...... 'Diamond Weave' (who cares?!) Bathroom Tissue ..... not 'Toilet' Tissue eh ..... but de more bourgeois 'Bathroom' Tissue ..... each roll have 200 ...... 2-ply sheets ...... 10.8 cm x 10.1 cm ..... wit ah claim dat ..... their rolls are so big ..... dat their 6 'big' rolls = 12 regular rolls ..... STEUPS! ...... I measure it ..... is de same size as de Hi Dee roll (10.8 cm x 11.43 cm) ...... actually ..... de Hi Dee lil bigger ..... but watch meh ...... what exactly is ULTRA STRONG toilet paper ...... why does anybody need ULTRA STRONG toilet paper ...... unless you're the bear in the ad ...... ah mean ...... how bad could your skid marks be ...... dat you have tuh upgrade tuh ULTRA STRONG ....... huh!? ....... does it mean yuh could rinse and reuse (like BOUNTY!) ...... wha!? ...... first tuh begin ..... me eh want nuttin ULTRA STRONG rong my bumsee!!!
....... and dis is de good ole faithful 'not too pleasant smelling' Hi Dee ......
At $13.99 ...... compared tuh $40.24 ........ ah go hadda jus spray dat shit wit perfume yes! ..... cuz HELLO ..... at 1/3 de cost ....... it have de same specs ...... and it doin de same dirty job!!!
So DEE gyul ...... HI ........ I'm back!
we may soon return to the old days of using Gazette (news) paper...
and u right about d cheese any decent size block is $25
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Well at least you got a discount of $1.25.
Now if you look at the Charmin label you will see that 6 of their Big Rolls equals 12 Regular Rolls of the "unknown brand." In other words, 6 of one equals a dozen of the other. This doesn't even take into account the comfort or softness factor which can be considered priceless to the sensitive among us. Also, you can impress friends who stop over with the Charmin 6-pack "carelessly" left on the kitchen table to impress. I know Charmin is strong but is it really less abrasive than HiDee? Maybe an independent random blind test is what is required to inform customers. Maybe the Ministry of Consumer Affairs can put out a statement saying Charmin can really save someone's ass
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I came upon your site a month ago and it has been my daily read as you give an interesting perspective on life in good old trini for this trini living abroad. But this one had me cracking up soooooooo hard it was not funny. In the past the grocery has been visited infrequently because if you think Charmain bad what will you say about detergent for clothes...or as my mother said "she going to start ah lil garden behind de house". My question is when will it get better....I really don't know how people really surviving.
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LOL....... noting but charmin fuh my bumcee.........
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Whoa ..... ah still in recovery
Wagonist ..... wha yuh mean 'soon' ....... 'soon' reach brudda ..... I done rounds up some gazette ahready .....
Paul honey ..... if I was livin in america like you ..... hell yeah ...... me an' Charmin woulda be fren fuh sure!
aka ... ah tell yuh doh study de discount bwoy ..... dat discount ...... is like yuh eh even get none ..... but I guess I SHOULD be thankful ......
and aye .... wuz de scene DETRINI .... welcome tuh de scene! ..... your question .... is de burning question on many minds ..... when will it get better ...... cuz as you so rightly put it ..... all yuh could afford tuh do in Trini now ..... is really 'survive' ....... yuh cyah 'live' ...... and talkin bout laundry detergent ...... yuh have meh tinkin now ..... cuz I never price dat ...... I once had a similar run in wit Febreeze tho ...... yet another 'see de ad on TV' chain up session ....... $50 wasted ...... yep dat crap was $50 ...... so now ..... my house smells like 'air' (which is free!) ...... anyway ..... before ah turn dis comment into ah whole post ...... let me wrap up by saying ..... stay whey yuh is eh .... cuz is not only de grocery killin we here!
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wuzdescene....waz yur scene?....like yuh fuhget de lil suggeshun to get forty (40) $1 bills....the fabric can wash, dry an re-use and yuh will actually get more out ah yuh $$$$$$$$$......LMAO......literally!!
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GET (40) $1 bills?! .... from where gyul ..... ah done give dem tuh HILO!
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That's great, I never thought about Toilet Paper gorn VIP like that before.
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Hey Bathroom Accessories ...... Welcome tuh de scene
..... and ..... not only toilet paper went VIP eh ...... toilets themselves went VIP too ..... did you see Andy Loos?
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That's great, I never thought about Toilet Paper gorn VIP like that before.
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