Allyuh get ...... allyuh new Electricity Bill yet ...... de new meter ..... new rates one??!!

Once my Bills ..... is around de same ting every month ...... I does just pay dem ....... however ...... wit de increase ..... in de cost of EVERYTING lately ..... it suddenly became necessary ....... tuh start tuh maco ...... those deceivingly colourful (TSTT purple, WASA blue and T&TEC yellow) little money eaters ....... so is really only recently ...... dat ah start readin dem ...... and tuh my surprise ...... I discovered that ....... I DO NOT know how to read ...... Bills!!

I feel all our utility companies ...... hire de same BILL DESIGNER ..... and all ah dem ..... unwittingly chose ..... de same design template ...... 'CONFUFFLE' ....... cuz I find all our Utility Bills  ..... bloody confusin ..... and bloody difficult tuh understand ...... now it may be because I lil daft eh ...... but ah more want tuh believe ..... dat is baffle ..... dey like tuh baffle we ..... wit bullshit!!!

De day when ah wanted tuh write about TSTT ..... it was fuh ah lil Bill problem ...... cuz de bill was just wack ...... I just didn't understand it ..... ah didn't understand de number of calls made (cuz I doh call nobody!) ..... ah didn't understand de amount due ..... ah didn't understand how ah SMART CHOICE (Bronze package!) ..... coulda make meh feel so stupid ..... but as ah mentioned before ...... ah didn't bother tuh crap on it ...... cuz of de silly self-imposed ban ah put on mehself ...... tuh not crap on TSTT no more ...... but ...... T&TEC on de odda hand ..... dey ass dark ..... dey eh so lucky yet!

I get my T&TEC bill last week ....... finally ...... after not gettin one fuh about 3 months ....... an' ah know dey does run every two months ..... blah, blah, blah ..... so anyway ..... understandably ...... the amount due ...... is almost double ...... buh I eh dig nuttin ....... cuz as ah say ..... is ah long time I eh get no bill ...... and den rates gorn up an ting ..... altho ....... ironically ..... simultaneously ...... electricity went down ...... so hmmmmm ....... why DID my Bill go up???!! ......

Anyway ..... today now ..... ah pull out de new Bill ..... and de previous two ...... jus tuh compare dem ..... as de 'amount due' was so different nah ....... well all I coulda understand was ...... de customer name and de bill date ...... not even de address was familiar ...... cuz dem have me dong by some Light Pole 5 ..... it eh have no LP in my address! ..... and den what is de ....... meter multiplier ...... and units ...... and kWh consumption ...... and how yuh does know ...... if de units ...... dat de meter say yuh consume ..... was multiplied correctly ........ and what is 'Exchange Rate Adj.' ....... ah doh know!!! ..... ah doh know!!!! ...... and den ..... why on de new Bill ...... it have two meter numbers ..... and yes ..... ah know is have some new meter system now or whatever ....... but OH GORM ....... AH NOT UNDERSTANDIN NUTTIN!!!!




..... and even tho ...... all dem ting ..... dat ah say ah doh understand ..... is not really ting we go ever understand ..... what I really NOT understanding ...... is ah section we SHOULD be able tuh understand ..... and dat is de .... PREVIOUS READING ...... and de ....... PRESENT READING ...... now pay careful attention from here on ..... cuz on this bill ..... the 'Present Reading' is 30-04-2008 ...... so obviously (logically) ...... on de next bill (below) ..... it should fall under de 'Previous Reading' ..... 




...... right ...... nice ..... 30-04-2008 ...... correctly falls under 'Previous Reading' ..... and a new date of ...... 24-06-2008 appears under 'Present Reading' ...... no confusion here ......




...... however ...... dis is where DE CONFUSION begins ...... cuz how de france ...... on dis bill now ...... de 'Previous Reading' ...... gorn back tuh 30-04-2008 ..... AND 19-05-2008 ...... shouldn't it be ........ 24-06-2008????

...... and what is dat ...... 'Billing Adjustments (on vatable items)' about?? ..... not dat ah complainin bout it or anyting ...... cuz figures wit minus signs in front ah dem ..... are always welcome ..... is just dat ah want tuh know ...... how tuh get another minus figure ...... on meh nex bill?!!




.... and wha de jail ...... de boldfacity ...... of putting dat notice on de bill ..... I never knew ..... it have shit like dat on de Bill!!! ...... and how do we avoid ..... T&TEC's frequent random 'disconnections' ..... even when we have paid de 'Total Current Billing'? ...... Steups ...... Sigh ...... Roll up eye ..... I tink de next time I pay my bill ...... I will have tuh insert my own IMPORTANT NOTE on de cheque ...... 'To avoid possible non-payment of nex bill, the "Total Current Paid For" MUST be provided 24/7!!!'


JAH!!! ...... who woulda ever predick ...... dat one day ...... de dishing out shit baton ...... woulda pass on from our ....... Totally Sickening Telecommunications Torturers ...... tuh de equally incompetent ...... Trinidad & Tobago Electricity Cutters ...... cuz ah cyah see ...... ah cyah see de light!!! ....... all ah seein ..... is T&TEC, TSTT and WASA ...... successfully on dey way ...... tuh turning us ..... into alcoholics ..... and drug addicts ..... all ah seein ...... is ah setta people in de dark somewhere ...... tryin somehow ....... tuh get numb someway!!!
 
Anyway ..... meh Bill due one week from today ...... Nov 5 ..... Barack Obama's first day as President ...... so it WILL get paid ..... cuz I gotta see dat shit on TV! ..... and ..... altho dis mornin ...... meh neighbour tell meh ...... dat some announcement come across on de radio ..... sayin dat ..... T&TEC BILLS ARE CORRECT! ...... cuz apparently dey been gettin real customer complaints and queries ...... maybe ..... some day ...... if I'm already in a bad mood ...... and really seriously idle ..... I will probably still go in tuh T&TEC ..... jus tuh irritate dem ..... into explainin meh exactly how ...... meh BILL CORRECT ....... maybe I'll be enlightened ...... or ...... maybe I'll be left in the dark! ...... we'll see!


PS:  .... today's LOTTO Jackpot is $11.8 Million!