I only just figure out .... what it is happen ...... de time when ah had tuh take meh car tuh service ..... an' ah call Toyota tuh confirm ...... and dey tell meh ...... ah doh have no appointment ...... even tho ..... I had made said appointment ...... about 3 months earlier!!!

Some time ago .... Toyota started ...... what I will call 'automatic appointments' ...... which is ...... they automatically book you for say 3-4 months ..... after the current appointment ......

Now I know tuh some ..... this may sound like a wonderful service ...... but it is NOT for me ...... because I service my car by the mileage ...... not by time ...... so even tho the last service ...... was since July ...... the mileage has not reached the next 5000 Kms yet ...... and it not even close!!! ....... I have explained this to Toyota on umpteen occasions ..... and when I say umpteen ...... I mean umpteen ..... cuz is two Toyota cars I does have tuh service!! ..... ah even hit dem de ...... 'doh call me, I'll call you' bit ...... cuz how dey could make appointments fuh my car ..... jus so ....... they doh know when it need servicin ...... I does drive it ...... I alone know dat ...... and I doh need dem scheduling when next ...... they get thousands of my dollars ...... I schedule dat ..... I do dat budget!!! ....... ahhhhh ...... ah doh know how tuh say it again ....... perhaps the umpteen and oneth time ...... I'll have tuh say it in Japanese!!!

On Friday (Nov 7) ...... I got a call ...... on my cell ...... which I didn't answer ...... cuz I doh really answer my cell ...... worse again if is 'Private' callin ...... anyway ...... it was Toyota ..... wit some long ass message ...... reminding me about my appointment TODAY ..... again ..... one of their 'automatic ghost appointments' ....... NOT one I made ......

So anyway ..... since I know ..... I doh need no service ..... and since I never even made dat appointment ..... I promptly called them back ....... tuh advise them ..... tuh cancel said appointment ...... the Operator answered in ah one ...... however ..... when she transferred me to the Service Department ...... SALT ...... de phone ring about 20 times ..... and den cut off ...... what great Service!!!!! ....... this same scenario played out ...... for the next 3 calls I made ..... i.e. Operator answers super efficiently ...... and then no SERVICE from de SERVICE Department!!!

On the fifth call ...... yes ..... I called a fifth time ...... cuz remember ..... along with being ..... a sucker for punishment ..... I am also extremely idle ..... I have nothing better to do ..... than tuh gather fodder for my blog ..... anyway ..... as ah was sayin ...... is five times I call dis place ..... tuh do de right ting ..... and cancel de appointment ..... so allyuh done know ...... dat by den ..... de blood had done fly up tuh meh head ....... poor Ms. Operator ..... she get it!! ....... ah say hear what sistren ...... "nobody answering de SERVICE phone ...... and right now ...... I doh have de time ....... or the inclination ....... or de much required patience ....... or de 25 cents per minute ...... tuh dial Toyota number whole firetruckin day ..... tuh get you ..... fuh you tuh transfer me ...... tuh den get NOBODY ...... so you need tuh take dis message ...... and pass it on for me" ...... and the message was ...... I DOH HAVE NO BLASTED APPOINTMENT ON MONDAY!!! ...... AND STOP MAKING BLASTED APPOINTMENTS FOR ME!!!!

You know ..... lo and behold ...... after I tort ..... I made myself crystal clear ...... somebody from Toyota just call me tuh RE-SCHEDULE my appointment ....... since I MISSED my 8:30 one this morning!!! ...... Grrrrrrrrrrrrr???? ...... am I in the twilight zone?! ....... well ....... I eh have tuh tell allyuh ....... she get it good too ...... cuz de audacity of Toyota ..... tellin me I MISS my appointment ...... HELLO ...... I am de most anal, particular, meticulous, organised person ever ...... I doh make appointments and just MISS dem!!!!! *SIGH*

No wonder ...... whenever I call for an appointment ...... ah could only get ah date ...... ah whole blasted 3 months later ...... cuz Toyota only making ah setta stupid ghost appointments fuh people ....... who probably MISSIN dem too (like me) ...... when dey could easily be givin more timely appointments ...... if only valid ones were being booked!!!!!

I swear ...... if I'm ever able to afford ...... to buy a new car ....... ever .... in this life again ....... fire bun Toyota!!! ...... is ah Black Man Wheels fuh me ....... at least if ah have tuh take shit ..... it'll be in luxury!!!!


PS:  Remember tuh check out Part II of the Ganja Series in today's Express ..... (Part I in yesterday's paper was VERY interesting)