Ah win de LOTTERY!!!
So de Bank put back meh money ...... but hear nah ...... tuh hell wit dem and dah small money yuh know ...... cuz I'M A WINNER!!! ..... look!! ...... look what was in my mail box this morning ....
As it turns out ...... I didn't even have tuh PLAY ...... an' ah still win 778,000 Pounds!!! ..... WOW .... I have tuh be the luckiest person ever ...... cuz hear nah ...... they just had my name ...... and my name just happen tuh be attached to a winning ticket ....... dat de computer system jus happen tuh randomly pick ...... from over 3,000,000 people ..... worldwide ...... WHA DE JAIL???!!!
....... but watch meh ..... dis is between me and you eh ...... cuz in de letter ...... dey ask dat ah keep it .... a secret ...... yuh know ..... like doh tell nobody ...... cuz it sound like dey real strict wit dey security ..... and dey would really prefer to avoid any unwarranted abuse of the program ..... or fraudulent acts from criminally minded and unauthorised individuals ...... so as ah say .... doh tell nobody fuh true ..... cuz yuh know we have plenty of dat kind (i.e. criminally minded) in Trini!!!
And check dis ..... odda dan de 'secret' aspect ..... de whole scene ..... real simple too ...... all I have tuh do ..... tuh claim my phenomenal winnings ...... is call an overseas number in de UK ..... complete a very detailed form (see below) ...... providing ALL possible information about me (da'is so de money cyah get lorse!!) ....... and pay ah lil 'processin' fee ..... tuh have de money 'transferred' ...... an' ah doh even have tuh leave meh house .... tuh go TTPost ..... tuh mail de Form ..... or even be bothered ...... about said envelope not reachin in time ..... fuh de Nov 30 deadline ...... cuz I could easily fax it ..... altho da'is really 2 overseas calls ah go be makin eh ..... but hey ...... da'is no scene either ....... cuz ah win .... 778,000 Pounds!!!
WOW ..... what it is I do ...... tuh deserve dis bwoy!? ....... I am so ecstatic right now ...... cuz you know what I could do wit 778,000 Pounds ....... I could share it wit all ah allyuh ...... LAWD ...... ah set fuh life!!!
PS: .... if yuh want some .... jus complete de same form .... and return it tuh de scene
As it turns out ...... I didn't even have tuh PLAY ...... an' ah still win 778,000 Pounds!!! ..... WOW .... I have tuh be the luckiest person ever ...... cuz hear nah ...... they just had my name ...... and my name just happen tuh be attached to a winning ticket ....... dat de computer system jus happen tuh randomly pick ...... from over 3,000,000 people ..... worldwide ...... WHA DE JAIL???!!!
....... but watch meh ..... dis is between me and you eh ...... cuz in de letter ...... dey ask dat ah keep it .... a secret ...... yuh know ..... like doh tell nobody ...... cuz it sound like dey real strict wit dey security ..... and dey would really prefer to avoid any unwarranted abuse of the program ..... or fraudulent acts from criminally minded and unauthorised individuals ...... so as ah say .... doh tell nobody fuh true ..... cuz yuh know we have plenty of dat kind (i.e. criminally minded) in Trini!!!
And check dis ..... odda dan de 'secret' aspect ..... de whole scene ..... real simple too ...... all I have tuh do ..... tuh claim my phenomenal winnings ...... is call an overseas number in de UK ..... complete a very detailed form (see below) ...... providing ALL possible information about me (da'is so de money cyah get lorse!!) ....... and pay ah lil 'processin' fee ..... tuh have de money 'transferred' ...... an' ah doh even have tuh leave meh house .... tuh go TTPost ..... tuh mail de Form ..... or even be bothered ...... about said envelope not reachin in time ..... fuh de Nov 30 deadline ...... cuz I could easily fax it ..... altho da'is really 2 overseas calls ah go be makin eh ..... but hey ...... da'is no scene either ....... cuz ah win .... 778,000 Pounds!!!
WOW ..... what it is I do ...... tuh deserve dis bwoy!? ....... I am so ecstatic right now ...... cuz you know what I could do wit 778,000 Pounds ....... I could share it wit all ah allyuh ...... LAWD ...... ah set fuh life!!!
PS: .... if yuh want some .... jus complete de same form .... and return it tuh de scene
LMAO!
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Lulu .... dis is not ah laughin matter gyul ..... dis is serious biz ..... how much tuh put aside fuh yuh ..... Christmas comin yuh know!
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Thank you so much for the generous offer. But I cant accept. Really, I jus cant!
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u cud link up with that guy that has the full page ads in the papers that claim he is the beneficiary to the Beauford's millions. money in d bank...lol.
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WHAT? ....... link up wit Man!?
....... honey ........ like yuh eh read meh good ....... is 778,000 POUNDS I just win yuh know ..... at exchange rate $9 or $10 ....... da'is MILLIONS in TT dollars ......
...... IS NOW ME EH HAVE TUH LINK UP WIT NO MAN!!!
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Ay I outside... open up (didn't bother to read the post, just saw de headline and figure u could tell me in person) OPEN DE DAMN DOOR!!!!
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oh shit ..... dat was you knocking ..... sorry ..... but until I get a butler or sumtin ..... I won't be opening my own door ..... that's beneath me now!!!
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Tell dem yuh go take CASH, and yuh want de butler Jeeves tuh bring it in a steel suitcase handcuff tuh he wrist. Why take chances that it go go astray rong the Beetham side?
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LOL ...... boy ... if only dis crap was really REAL!
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The main reason for lottos is to hopefully help the deprived get rich and the runners of this scheme are obviously deprived
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deprived? ....... more like demented!!!
Yuh know what still bafflin me bout this whole 'scheme' as you so rightly put it ...... the fact that ...... SOMEBODY is funding this shit ...... I mean think about the wastage of time ...... and money ...... and paper ...... and stamp ...... and envelope ..... and colour ink ...... cuz de ting print in colour ..... colour printin eh cheap!!
Then the part about payin dem 10% of the total winnings ...... WHAT ...... why dey doh just take dey 10% ...... and send me de rest ...... why yuh have tuh pay anyting ..... and 10% ..... if I could afford tuh pay dem 10% of 778,000 ..... in POUNDS ...... den I doh need de dam jackpot .....
and dem 3 pictures .... of dem 3 senior citizens ...... at de bottom of de letter ...... oh gorm ..... dem eh have nuttin better tuh do wit dey retirement .......
ahhhhhh ...... the sad part is ...... I sure real people (worldwide) get ketch wit dis ....... but ...... lucky fuh us Trinis ...... we know ...... dat if yuh doh have no ticket ....... yuh doh have no chance!!!!
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Dey does send out millions ah dem emails oui and all dey need is ah few dotish people tuh tink dey win someting fuh nuttin. If yuh eh have nuttin tuh do like me ah does play wid dey head and send back part ah de information (my bank account number and routing number? Yeah dey could wait fuh dat) and watch dem get all excited like dey reelig in ah fish or someting. De only dong side is den mih email address does go on de 'Supreme Suckers of Suckers' list and is den de schemes does start coming. I real popular wid all dem African bankers who have rich clients dropping dead all over de place.
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Aye Welcome tuh de scene Fensic ..... LOL .... I contemplated replying (with fake info of course
PS: .... never got the email version ..... but I've seen them ..... and they'e just as dotish!
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