Ah jus study ...... dat is bout 4 days now ...... dat I eh sign orn here ...... and is not dat ..... ah eh have nuttin tuh say ..... is jus dat ..... is de same shit ...... different day ...... ah mean ..... jus check out de papers ...... and look at de news on de TV ..... is de same foolishness!!! ...... de Prime Minister still goin strong ...... wit various new shenanigans ...... den is ah nex 'address tuh de nation' in we tail ..... on Sunday (is Sunday right?) ....... and den wha bout dat drama in Mumbai ...... and de Trini who was dey!! ...... Trinis really like salt bwoy ...... cuz yuh guaranteed tuh pluck ah Trini .... out of any catastrophe in de world ..... I still cyah believe ...... dat ah Trini was in de Taj Mahal Palace Hotel ...... hiding from de terrorists ...... and at de same time ..... takin full advantage of technology ...... and relayin de whole scene tuh he family ...... via Blackberry!!

Anyway ...... is de weekend ....... is time tuh relax and take it easy ...... so no seriousness from me today ..... today I on ads!
 
Initially ...... ah started taking notice of all the Christmas ads dat out now ..... some ah dem real dotish ....... some ah dem kinda a'ight ..... and some ah dem very Trini ..... with dey pastelle .... and dey sorrel ..... and dey parang ...... and dey ham ..... and dey fruit cake an ting ...... and then there were the ads with local sayings/terms ..... and then ...... in between ..... there were de off key ads too ...... so brace yuhself ..... cuz is real ads I pull out here!




Cock??? ...... and ..... Teet??? ....... who come up wit dat sayin bwoy ...... cuz da'is two ting dat will really never go together ..... but ..... more importantly ...... what Cock came up with dat ad? ..... and why fuh ah company like TTMF?! ...... I find that dat cock so outta timin eh ..... and ugly (not that I've ever seen a good-looking cock!) ...... and the 'creativity' of Photoshoping teeth onto de cock beak ....... and what does TTMF really mean by ...... "yuh doh have tuh wait til cock grow teet tuh own a home?" ...... steups ....... what cock-and-bull ...... cuz whether cock could grow teet or not ...... real people still hadda wait til PIGS FLY ..... tuh own ah home in Trini!!!





..... and talkin bout Cocks ....... it had tuh be ah Penis who penned this ad ....... cuz no woman eh goin an write dat level of shit ...... DOVE ...... like dey losin it ...... cuz after gettin real pips ..... fuh dey recent ads ..... using real women (and not no pencil models) ..... I cyah believe ..... dat dis is de rubbish dey go come wit!!!





.... and as we on de topic of PENISES ...... dat 'WRAP IT UP' ...... isn't that like an established condom slogan? ...... tuh me ..... when I look at dat ad ..... all I seein is ...... a happy Man ...... and a happy Woman ...... who look like they just finish ..... wrappin it up ...... after wrappin IT up!





When I read this ad ...... all I saw was ....... '3 out of 4 people BRUSH too hard' ..... LOL ..... I think I know the 3 ..... but hear what ...... the ad is really fuh ah fancy toothbrush ..... that have some pressure control system in de handle ..... so if yuh brushin too hard ..... de handle does 'click' back ..... tuh warn yuh ..... tuh reduce yuh brushing pressure ...... WOW!? ...... I'll definitely be passing on this vital info ..... tuh de 3 people!





Good things DO come in 2s ...... like a pair diamond earrings ...... not Aveos ..... anyway ..... ah feel ah goin an buy ah lil cheap top or sumting in Detour yes ...... so ah could enter dis competition ...... and hopefully win one ...... cuz altho I eh really know de car ..... if ah win it ..... ah could always sell it ..... and use de money tuh buy groceries!





Fuh real ..... an' ah could see mehself being his Queen!





You go boy ....... Bus dat Pot ..... and tote it all de way back home tuh me (tuh 'cook')





Ah like de name of this product ...... BOP ....... it's so dumb ..... that it's actually kinda cute! ...... also ...... anyting dat could get rid ..... of blasted mosquitoes ...... I LIKE ...... so dengue or no dengue ...... I lookin tuh get real serious wit dem mosquitoes fuh true ....... and really BOP dey buzzin lil asses tuh DET (oh wait da'is another fly spray!) 





This ad explains so much ....... if only it had Alacta Plus back in de day!!





I'm running down to buy an Express ....... is something missing there ...... running down where? ...... and why does the Express advertise ..... in de Express ...... why does the Express advertise at all ..... cuz the only way you'll see that ad ...... is if you're already reading an Express ..... so what's the sense of the ad ...... is only 3 dailies it have tuh buy anyway!!





..... again ..... is something missing here too ...... like lil yo-yo man shoes ...... where de Express does get these ads ...... you know how long I eh see ah yo-yo ..... lil boys does still play wit dat ..... and he could read ..... he lookin like he's about 3 years old .......





Ah love it ..... ah love Pastelles ..... and ah like how dey Flavour D'Pot on it ..... a so much more interesting idea ....... than putting TEETH on a COCK!





I doh even know what dis ad is about ..... ah didn't read it ..... ah get stumped at ..... Before your dream of a Home fades away ...... cuz HELLO ...... Trinbagonians does still dream dat dream??!! ..... and how could such dreams not fade away ...... when HDC does take about 10 years ........ tuh give yuh de damn Home!





..... actually ...... this may be the only way ..... tuh own a home in TnT ....... if yuh really bring back some US Dollars ...... fold 4 ah dem in half ..... and construct as above ...... or failing dat ..... convert 6 to 1 and go readymade!





Oh gorm .... NO ..... dat cyah be Shahrukh Khan ..... I eh look fuh he dey at all ..... Fair and Handsome? ...... World's No. 1 fairness Cream for men? ....... WTF????





Is ANY weekend ..... ever THE WEEKEND .... tuh buy a Land Rover ...... ah Land Rover is not de same price ..... as ah house??? .... I doh know who coulda afford ..... tuh take dat chain up ...... but in my world ...... it eh have NO weekend dat I could buy a Land Rover ...... some groceries maybe ...... not a Land Rover!!!!





I didn't even know ...... dat if LUXURY in de picture ..... dat AFFORDABLE could be dey too ...... but .... so says Mitsubishi ...... who married de two ..... and came up with SYLPHY ..... looks good ..... I wonder what dey callin 'affordable' tho!





.... and keepin wit de car theme ..... a Great Wall Wingle? ...... is that like saying ...... Mitsubishi Lancer ...... or Nissan Almera ...... what is Great Wall? ..... de brand ...... and Wingle? ...... yuh mean tuh say ..... dat is de bess name dem Chinee coulda come up wit ..... now de pick up eh bad lookin eh ..... but sheeesh ..... how yuh does really say ...... yuh driving ah Wingle! ..... dat name just as jokey ...... as de Indian TATA Nano!!!





I couldn't have said it better myself ...... cuz that is the ONLY way I'll be able tuh give this Christmas .... by MAGIC!





LOL .... check out de baffled bird at de top .... just as baffled as I am maybe ..... cuz I never hear bout dis soap ..... and dis is de NO. 1 SOAP eh!! ..... is ah good ting I does read papers yes ..... now ah have tuh go an' change all meh soap ..... cuz is only No. 1 tings I does deal up wit!





Ahhh ..... de good ole Suckeye Loan ...... as tho there's any such creature ...... yuh would swear ...... dat all yuh have tuh do ..... is really suck somebody 'eye' ...... and Voila ..... look $60,000!





I jus like dis ad ..... cuz ah like sorrel .....  an' ah like fruit cake ...... an' ah like tuh indulge in de two ah dem ...... at Christmas time ....... an' ah cyah make none ..... so dat Kiss Trini Fruit Cake ..... is great news ...... kisses tuh Kiss!





Oh gosh ...... ah doh even know what tuh say about these TSTT ads ....... DOTISH immediately comes tuh mind!!! ...... and Quantum of Silliness too! ..... but together with the unique print ads ..... and the equally stupid TV ads ...... was a real life setta jokeyness (in TSTT Westmall) de week the actual movie was supposed to premiere! ..... apparently ..... TSTT staffers were allowed or encouraged ..... tuh dress like 007 himself ..... but most of them end up lookin more like ...... 10.99 instead! ...... if you see de jokey suits and shoes and ting dem lil boys was deck off in ..... I real laugh when I finally reach up tuh de Cashier ..... and he buss dah mark ..... and den ah laugh ah lil more .... when he tell meh tuh hang around ...... cuz dey givin away give-aways every hour on de hour .... like as tho ...... TSTT is somewhere tuh hang around!!! ..... de only give-away I woulda been interested in at dat point ..... is de return of de same money ...... dat ah had jus give him tuh pay meh bill!!!





And last ...... but certainly not least ..... multi-tasking never looked better ...... if da'is what drinkin Ultra Malt could make me do ....... I out ..... I need tuh get some of dat shit!



PS:  ..... ah went Corner Bar Wednesday nite ...... tuh see a band called Gazette ..... and I also got a taste of Cabezon at de sound check ..... they were both pretty good ..... then Sunday comin ..... is 51 degrees ..... fuh ah show wit Ricardo Mendoza, H20 Phlo, Nadia Batson, Ziggy Rankin and more ..... yeah .... ah kinda vibesin some localness these days!