Trini Christmas is de bess!
Christmas is just 4 days away people ...... well ...... according to Page 21 of de MIX ...... in today's Express ...... yeah ..... dem done reach 21st December 2008 ahready??!! ..... so ...... ah figure now's as good ah time as any ...... tuh buss ah lil Christmas post!! 
Now yuh know it have certain tings ...... dat jus synonymous wit ah Trini Christmas ..... ham, pastelle, sorrel, parang ...... and BARREL!! ..... last week Thursday ...... I end up behind dat truck ...... with at setta barrel in de tray ..... yep ..... barrel fuh Christmas ..... yuh know how long I eh see ah barrel ...... but I guess ..... tis de season right!! ....... and all I studyin is ...... Trinis sweet yes ...... cuz recession or no recession ...... rain or snow ..... Trinis HAVE tuh get dey Christmas stocks ..... from AMERICA!!!
An' hear nah ...... all de barrels was fuh de same person eh ...... 4 ah dem ..... SOMEBODY in Diego ..... goin' an' have ah real Merry Christmas!!! 
Den as if de barrel scene wasn't sweet enuff ....... look what I see in de papers ...... COURTS open ah store in Flatbush, New York!! ...... so fuh all de people who coulda never get dey furnitures an' ting ..... tuh fit in de damn barrel ..... voila ..... problem solve ..... now .... all yuh have tuh do ...... is chain up de same famalee in NEW YORK ...... tuh take out ah lil hire purchase ..... and handle yuh ...... buh wait ...... comin tuh tink of it ...... if I livin in New York ..... and I lookin tuh bless up my Trini family with some new stash ..... I eh goin COURTS tuh buy it ....... Grrrrrr!!!!
Oh gorm ...... an' like tings jus gettin sweeter an' sweeter ...... cuz look ........ fuh de times when yuh eh have no money on yuh phone ....... like right after makin nuff overseas calls tuh organise barrel ..... and COURTS furniture an' ting ...... yuh could get de same famalee in AMERICA ..... tuh organise yuh one time ...... wit ah lil top up on yuh phone!!
.... and if yuh famalee in AMERICA find like yuh overdoin it ...... an' dey eh up tuh all dat crap ....... like sendin barrel ...... and furnitures ....... and appliances ...... and toppin up yuh phone an' ting ...... tell dem just sen de blasted money ...... Western Union!!!
I am so impressed wit all these different services eh ...... Trinis working ...... dey comin up with ideas ..... cuz yuh know Passport real scarce these days ...... is whole year an' ting people waitin fuh dey Passport ..... and den when yuh get de Passport ...... US Veezay is another story ...... cuz I hear people real gettin brace in de US Embassy ...... so ..... ah guess is only natural ...... dat we startin tuh see all these new kinds of conveniences ....... cuz HELLO ...... if Trinis cyah reach AMERICA ..... yuh know dey findin ah way fuh AMERICA tuh reach dem!
But on tuh some other jokiness ah see in de papers .....
Did they really have tuh include cockroaches ...... right next tuh de Christmas border?
.... and is something missing from that ad below ....... TO ALL PHARMACIES, HOSPITALS AND OTHER INSTITUTIONS ..... Institutions as in ...... ALL other institutions in de country?! ....... and dey visiting all premises to 'endure' that Storage conditions of drugs are as 'requires' .......
..... and I've never been pregnant ...... so I doh know what its like ...... but do pregnant women really get a BELLY CAST of their tummy?! ...... ah not really understandin de whole scene either ..... cuz is it that the cast includes your breasts too ...... is that a specimen of the cast ..... dat cartoon lady holdin in front of her?!
..... and where in Trinbago ..... do you see scenes like dat ..... granny, mammy and pickney riding bike ...... please! ...... how NOT Trini! 
.... and what 'Career' exactly do you embark on ...... when you join the NP Team as a pump attendant (to earn extra money on weekends and in yuh spare time etc.) ....... and what NP gas station have pump attendants dat does look like dem ......
Dove new ad agency lil wack yes ...... first dey come wit ...... 'It's time we girls cooled off more and freaked out less' ...... which was just dotish ..... and now dey come wit dis crap ...... so what are they saying ..... are they saying dat when yuh feelin tuh get 'tingly' ..... all yuh need tuh do is bathe with Dove (if yuh cyah find ah man) ...... uhhhh ..... come again Dove ..... and remember ..... three strikes and you're OUT!
..... and why Pennywise couldn't see ..... that this ad is just WRONG ....... de ad is fuh some pimple zappin cream ..... dat leaves NO MARKS ..... but when I look at de ad ...... all I seein is ..... NO ARM ..... de gyul lookin like she have no right arm ..... and just half of a left arm ....... this ad is not pleasing to the eye at all!!! ...... am I the only person seeing it??!!
PS: .... anyway .... BIG UP tuh Gabrielle Walcott ...... fuh placin 3rd ...... in de Miss World 2008 competition! ..... yay Trini!!!
Yuh nearly give meh a heart attack wid dat date dere. I suppose to be going Trinidad on the 1*th, (date hidden in case dem dunceys looking fuh meh and decide tuh wait fuh meh at the airport) and yuh have meh thinking ah miss meh flight.
Ah think dat health ad is just some typos as the 's' and 'd' keys are next to each other; doesn't excuse either the typist or the editors though.
Ah notice when I wake up and check yuh blog, it have nothing new posted (every morning, eh) and then, Vaps! A post will appear saying it posted 9 hours before. What gives?
Anyway, I looking forward to seeing dem papers mehself when I come oui... I cyah believe how things deteriorate since I left. I feel my blog might take the form of an online diary, to explain away my experiences in de mudderland.
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LOL Jumbie .... the time difference occurs ..... whenever I start a post ...... and den stop tuh watch TV or sumtin ..... and den continue it .... and den post it ......
...... so like yesterday's post ...... I started it at 11 sumtin pm (nearly 12 midnight) ....... so that is the time that would register on the actual post/blog ..... but I didn't actually 'post/publish' it til about 2:00 am or sumtin ....... so that is the time that registers on the email you get if you're a subscriber ...... and den you in England ...... so da'is a whole odda setta 'time' difference stories .......
9 out of 10 times ...... I write and post immediately ...... but there's the odd time ..... I write ...... leave tuh sit a while ..... and then post ......
Lawd ..... ah hope ah didn't confuse yuh more
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Guyl yuh have me bawling.Looks like the Express cyaa get their dates and words right. I wonder why they always have to use people in those ads that look all happy and druged? Why not once use regular crappy people?
I wonder what the "belly cast" is for? Yuh supposed to frame it,hang it over your bed to remind your man what could happen if he humps yuh??
What can I say, no decent men around here so I better run of to the store and get me some of that Dove.
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I hope somebody really enlightens us about dat belly cast ting ...... I am very intrigued!
.... an' da'is you wit dat Dove scene ...... if you know how I doh like Dove soap ...... de ting does have yuh feelin greasy greasy after yuh done bathe wit it!! ...... if I had tuh choose between dat an' ah man ...... I'd much rather feel greasy off of rubbin up ah man on meh instead ......
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Ey, Dove recommended for when you do like me and bun yuh backside in de beach. Believe it or not, last time I was in Trinidad I was in Maracas for about 3 hours, de day before I come back. When I get to England, meh skin start to fall out in clumps. No lie!
The doctor tell me not to use soap, use Dove because Dove is a cream bar... whatever de hell he meant... maybe it replaces de man humping yuh as Chica says?
But I like Chica's description of us regular 'crappy' people.
'Scene, try Windows Live Writer to do your blog (offline), edit to your heart's content, and then connect just to publish.
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well yuh know you lorse me ..... Windows Live Writer?! ...... boy ..... I is one ole dog .... dat yuh cyah teach new tricks!!!
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GOOOGLEEEEEEE!
Trust me on this one... Punks is 10 and she could use it.
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Yeah, I truly wonder about that dotish belly cast???
As for the dove, I was only kidding. The one time I tried that crap I broke out in an itchy rash. That reminds me, I think Avon had some bath stuff many years ago, that turned out to work well as a flea repellent. lol
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Do you realize that the people at the Sunday Express will be celebrating Christmas Eve tomorrow?
The problem I have with transporting barrels is that the names and addresses of the people the barrels are being sent to are easy to see in traffic. Where is the privacy and security? "Aye boss, ah see yuh geh two barrels las week." "Whey you hear dat, who tell yuh?" "Nobody tell mih man. Ah see it on the highway."
Courts should have an ad which says "Don't send your parents money, they would only blow it on grog. Send them a termite-resistant dressing table."
Bmobile should have this ad "Look, the reason the people in Trini not calling you in the US is because they don't want to talk to you. Yuh boring and chupid plus yuh have a jokey accent. It have nothing to do with no money on dey phone. But just in case it not so..."
People from Trinidad probably sending more money to their newly laid off relatives in the US than the other way around. But Western Union was always a two way street.
Yes, cockroaches normally hide more in those foreign looking Christmas decorations than anywhere else. Imagine how embarrassing it would be to have friends over and at the same time Mr. and Mrs Cockroach decide to take their children out for dinner - your dinner.
The standards at the health services are deteriorating faster than before. Not only are patients losing their patience and pulling cutlasses to help manage their stress but also the PR people don't even have a grammar checker that comes to work.
The career path at NP gas stations is that a person can move from trainee pump attendant to junior pump attendant to regular pump attendant to premium pump attendant. The person can even branch out into diesel and CNG. It is not a dead end job as most would think.
There are some men who need this belly cast thing. Those memories would be hugely priceless.
The bike pic was snapped only seconds before the bandits snapped up the bikes.
As a man, I feel threatened by soap and in particular, Dove soap. At the pharmacy women would now be buying one six-pack of Trojans and a bar of Dove just in case. Or the other way around.
Look, Pennywise got what they paid for. Besides, one-arm models are not getting too much work these days so we should not be too harsh on the photo. I am beginning to wonder if ugly people will go to the Equal Opportunity Commission to demand equal time in the Miss Trinidad and Tobago competitions.
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Oh gorm aka_lol ...... YUH WIN ...... yuh win wit dis one!!!
and yeah .... about dat barrel ting ..... I thought the same thing ..... cuz any bandit travelin next tuh dat truck ...... woulda know excatly where tuh go ..... tuh get some free Christmas stock ......
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Gosh no, it wasn't a competition. Ah jus trying to think like scene
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