Totoless in Trini ....
But .... in all de rubbish ....... two things struck and stuck me ....... de first one was ....... Pennelope Beckles really get married!!!?? ...... and de second one was ...... de story below!! ...... now ah postin de actual story off de newspaper website ..... cuz I cyah put dat story into my own words ...... I did interject tho!
All I ask of you .... is to read and empathise and spare a thought this Christmas ...... for all the less fortunate among us ..... cuz it cyah be easy tuh be STUPID ..... and a BANDIT ...... and PENISLESS ..... fuh de Christmas!
Bandit shoots off ‘private part’
By FELICIA RAMPERSAD and Stacy Moore Monday, December 22 2008
A 28-year-old bandit, who staged a robbery at a supermarket in South Trinidad shot his penis off when the gun he was carrying went off accidentally.
LMAO 
The incident occurred on December 3 but yesterday doctors failed in an attempt to stitch back the vital organ.
Lawd ..... de man walkin around wit he dick in he pocket since December 3!!!
Yesterday, police escorted him out of a medical institution and subsequently incarcerated him at the San Fernando Police Station.
Geeez ..... an' talk about ah triple whammy ..... yuh shoot off yuh own dick .... den yuh have tuh trow it whey (cuz it cyah stitch back) ..... den YOU get trow in jail!!!
Police are conducting investigations before laying charges against the man.
I guess de Police still tryin tuh decide whether tuh charge him wit stupidity or robbery!!!
According to a police report, the man and another accomplice entered R & D grocery in Eccles Village, Williamsville, where they announced a hold-up at about 6 pm. Pointing guns at customers and the cashier, the men demanded cash, the report stated.
Steups! .... why de ass dey doh go an' find ah blasted job instead!!! (CEPEP, URP anyting .... yuh know how much stone it still have all over de place tuh paint white!!)
Both men took turns in pushing the money into bags while they kept the customers at bay.
Steups! ..... people cyah even go tuh de grocery an' all now!!!
Police said that as the men ran out the grocery, they fired several shots in the air as they headed towards a waiting vehicle.
Why??? ..... cuz yuh have ah gun ..... an' yuh bad ...... an' it have bullets in it ..... an' yuh didn't get de opportunity tuh shoot any actual humans ..... Steups! ..... such foolishness!!!
However, police said as one of the bandits opened the door of the vehicle, he stuck the gun he was carrying into the waist of his pants. As he slumped into the seat, the firearm went off. Acting on a tip-off, members of the South-Western Task Force went to an abandoned house where they confronted a man lying on the floor.
..... and to any aspiring bandits out there ..... let dis be ah lesson ...... never stick ah gun in yuh pants ...... it only have room fuh one gun in ah man pants ...... two man rat cyah live in de same hole!
Police officers said that the man’s testicles and penis appeared to have been rotting.
G-R-O-S-S!!! ..... ah wonder what a rottin dick does look like bwoy??!! .... cuz ah healthy one done ahready eh all dat!
They rushed him to the San Fernando General Hospital where he underwent emergency surgery.
Why??? ..... why it have so many law abiding citizens on waiting list fuh surgery ..... an' ah bandit get he own 'rush' .... Why???
Yesterday, police said that surgery to re-attach what was remaining of the bandit’s penis proved unsuccessful.
If even de surgery was successful ...... wha he could really do wit ah half ah penis ..... is bess he ask Santa fuh ah bran new one yes!
Investigations are continuing into the robbery and the search for the other bandit.
PS: .... and the award goes to ...... Newsday ...... da'is de bess bandit story ah read fuh 2008!!!
hehehehe....luv yuh blogs
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Aye Thanks Keron ..... Welcome tuh de scene an' all de bess eh!!
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I saw this article in the Newsday this morning and immediately thought about you...I mean your blog
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Oh gosh boy ..... ah know is Christmas eh ..... but ah couldn't pass on crapin on dat article ..... de man hit we ah trini style (lorena) 'bobbitt' yes! ....... I real laugh
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LOL!! That is the jokiest story i read..and it takes newsday to find these stories.
Yeah penelope beckles did get married on sat. My mom ended up going to just the ceremony and she said it was very beautiful.
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Cya Cya cyaaaaa .. well yes....
Tryin' meh best not to harp on the gross part, but iz how long after the incident that police find he in the abandoned house that the essential organs was rotting already (oh geeeeeed)? Is it that that man parts are just not as rugged as they would have us believe? And if it was a relatively long time since the incident, iz how he eh bleed out before dey find he?
Steups .... everything wrong with that bandit... i want to say "poor fellah", but frankly i feelin' more sorry for the hard-working, innocent, poor people (cause everybody poor) that he holdup.
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yes Zee ..... Newsday real orn ..... dey always have de stories FIRST .... and dey always tell it like it is .... dat muzbe why de odda day Colm Imbert had his people brace dem ..... when de water taxi was makin de lil test run!!!
and Capital S .... yuh right ..... is poor we ...... not poor he ...... I eh sorry fuh he one fart .... dick live by de gun ..... dick die by de gun!
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Don't you mean 'dickless' lived and died by the gun?
This story had me laughing so hard, I even forget the mosquitoes eating my arse raw.
Reminded me of a story last year where a dead bandit was identified by his aunt... from his penis. No lie, the link somewhere on my blog... Newsday again I think. I often wondered how come his aunt was so familiar with his penis that she could actually identify him by it...
Glad to see you still in form...
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Huh ...... how did his Aunt know his penis fuh true??? ..... and what it is about his penis dat was so identifiable??? ...... LOL ..... dat story sounds even crazier!!!
...... an' doh study de mosquitoes ...... is only 'welcome' dey welcomin yuh ..... after 4 years on de outside ...... you come like new blood yuh know! ...... dey jus happy tuh see yuh!
Hope de vacation goin good man!
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I doh know dem answers yuh asking, but here is the link to the story in the Newsday. The thing is, a dead penis is only a lil thing, no character unless it ent dead and standing. Okay, I couldn resist making that point. So how she identify a few cm of dead, wrinkled flesh and skin?
Vacation good so far... thanks. I could do without dem kinda welcome from de mosquitoes, oui.
I forget the kinda noise it have too when cock crowing 4 am, and every neighbour playing dey own chune in dey big stereo dem.
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Girl, I confess, when I saw this yesterday between the loud cackling my mind ran across you. I couldn't wait to see what you were going to do with this one. Some people just too stupid to be true!
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LOL ..... yuh done know dat certain tings doh pass me ...... and tuh tink ..... I nearly eh even read papers yesterday!
But even today ..... dat story still bafflin me ..... cuz other than de bandit bein lil dotish ...... de story have real gaps ....... like between Dec 3 and Dec 20!!! ....... cuz what was he doin all dat time ...... jus lyin down on de ground (wit he piece ah penis) in de abandoned house dat dey find him???!!!!
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I heard about this story on RED...or was it on the other station...a figet. But yeah, they had ppl calling in stating whether or not they think the man should serve time in jail.
He got what he deserved. First shooting random shots in the air (he needs to guh watch Shottas LOL) then he shot his 'manhood' off. It's not going be a nice experience for him in prison at all!
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gyul right now he's ah real laughin-stock in Trini! ..... and of course he should be in jail ...... I doh understand why dat was up fuh debate in de first place ..... cuz is not like he need his penis in jail ..... as a matter of fact ..... he might be better off 'penisless' in deyl!!!
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The thing is, what was he thinking?
Was he in shock?
Between jail for attempted robbery and a rotted gentleman's area do you really have to hesitate?
You just lie on the floor in an abandoned house and do what?
Watch it rot?
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I guess he was really between ah rock an' ah hard place ..... or make dat ah sorf place! .......
Altho ..... I could never figure out why bandits don't seek medical help when necessary ...... cuz either way ...... dey done dead ...... cuz if dey go tuh ah doctor ...... dey go get ketch ...... and if dey doh go tuh ah doctor ...... dey could still dead ......
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