Random rambling ....
CURIOUS CAR CRASH
So 2009 start off wit ah bang ...... literally!!! ..... Richard Thompson ...... our two time Silver Medal winner at de 2008 Olympics ...... and our newest hero ..... crashed his car while goin home from an Old Year's Nite party (hmmmmm) ...... thankfully ...... he wasn't badly hurt ...... and neither was the other occupant (his girlfriend) ....... but have you noticed ...... that so far ....... we cyah get no real details about de accident ...... like who was wrong ...... and whether it was a case of 'DUI' ...... yuh know ...... de real nitty gritty ..... dat could possibly damage de lil halo he currently walkin around wit?! ....... anyway ...... I guess when he's better ...... and he has his news conference ...... we'll be enlightened ...... so in de meantime ...... I'll pray fuh them (him, his girl and de other driver) .... and continue tuh get kix off of his bodyguard ...... yep ...... yuh read rite ...... de man family hire ah bodyguard tuh keep de media away from him ..... but da'is not de real kix .... de real kix is who de bodyguard is ..... ah fella name ..... Kevin Da Costa ..... who before today ....... was known to me ..... as Shrek! ..... now Kevin had tuh be de bess bodyguard in de twin isle ..... cuz I swear ..... he is EVERYBODY bodyguard ...... de man does be in EVERYTING ..... de man worse dan salt ..... he like air ..... and why?? ...... probably not because of any real bodyguardin skills ..... but probably because of his real big body ..... de man like ah giant ..... and real intimidating looking ..... but geeez ..... is EVERYWHERE so he hadda be bracin people ...... I real laugh when I see dat HE is de so-called 'Bodyguard' .......
Bounce out: Health Minister Jerry Narace speaks to reporters who objected to being barred from ward 24 at the
Port-of-Spain General Hospital by bouncer Kevin Da Costa who was hired by the family of Richard Thompson
to prevent photographs from being taken of the injured sprinter yesterday.
Author: SUREASH CHOLAI
DE GLORIOUS GROCERY
Anyway ...... on Tuesday ...... I braved the grocery ...... and end up spendin $653!! ....... ah still didn't get everyting ah wanted ...... so ah end up going tuh another one ....... where ah spend another $200 ..... OK ...... so add dat up ....... would you believe ...... dat after dat hefty $853 ...... I end up in de grocery again today ..... but fuh only 3 items tho ...... well ah end up gettin de 3 items ..... and then some ......
Cuz while standing in the '1-10 Items Only' line (which was kinda long) ...... ah couldn't help but notice .... ah very professionally done sign ...... which was very professionally defaced ..... and then ...... ah also couldn't help but maco ah jokey conversation dat was takin place behind meh ..... dat went like this:
Full Woman: and fuh one time of pleasure .... it just not worth it
Young Gyul: ah ha .... yuh rite
Full Woman: one time could make yuh lose yuh whole life ... and dis life too sweet
Young Gyul: yeah
Full Woman: she not livin with me yuh know .... and she's only 15 years
Young Gyul: OMG ..... how yuh mean
Full Woman: well she feel she big ...... she want tuh do what she want
Young Gyul: but dat so young tuh be livin on yuh own
Full Woman: well she eh want tuh listen tuh me no more
Young Gyul: oh gosh
Full Woman: and she real pretty yuh know ...... she pretty like me
Well at dat point ...... I zone out ...... cuz I woulda buss out laughin .... if ah had continue tuh maco! ..... but allyuh see why it have over 500 people supposedly 'missin' right ..... clearly some ah dem puttin deyself dey!
That's the sign ..... in HILO Starlite ..... LOL ..... cuz what's up wit de inverted
commas inserted at ITEMS ONLY ....... and de piece ah maskin tape with
NOT 12 or 20 ..... which have nuttin tuh do wit de DOUBLE POINT (not POINTS eh)
..... dat yuh coulda get up tuh December 31, 2008 (quite last year) .... so why dat
part still up??
NEWSPAPER NONSENSE
Then day before yesterday (Old Year's Day) ...... ah bounce up some funnykurious tings in de papers ...... now ah know dat 2 days later ..... it come like ole news eh ...... but ah jus had tuh share it .....
YES!!! ...... as a matter of fact ...... I need Water right now!!! ...... cuz it eh have none fuh de past 3 hours!!! ..... but why de so-an-so .... should I have to pay fuh water (ah second time) ..... when ah done pay WASA ahready ...... and how come M&N Enterprises have water ...... where dey gettin it from????
What pray tell ...... is ah ......... SEMI-ALL-INCLUSIVE??!! ...... people ..... doh get tie-up dis Carnival eh ..... cuz enterprising Trinis (like we padnas above wit de water scene) ..... just out tuh bamboozle people ..... there is no such creature ..... as ah ...... SEMI-ALL-INCLUSIVE ...... is either yuh is ah ALL-INCLUSIVE ..... or ah plain ole carnival fete ...... full stop!!!
Wha ...... Shakuntala Singh and Kiran Singh ..... own de piece ah pavement at 51-53 High Street ...... yuh could buy pavement in Trini??? 
Therefore ..... there are now 16 bandits out there somewhere ...... dressed tuh impressed ...... in dey bogus security getup .... topped off wit ah real Security hat! ...... but wait ...... allyuh check out where de hats was last seen ........ and Grrrrrrrrr ....... IF 'KNOWN' OF WHEREABOUTS???
Dey now seekin info ...... on an accident dat took place since May 23, 2008 ...... and look at de location ..... nobody does really be down dey .... tuh be able tuh see any accident!!
What a breakthrough ...... yuh could now learn tuh speak Dog in just 2 hours ....... WOW ..... I wonder if that covers speakin bitch too?! 
PS: ..... allyuh remember last month ..... 30 pension cheques was stolen from ah Postman ..... and de Ministry say is ah hard luck .... pensioners go jus hadda wait fuh dey Jan 09 cheque ..... well I couldn't believe my ears .... when on de news tonight ...... it was reported ..... dat pensioners Jan 09 cheques come cut in half (de amount dat is)..... and all de Ministry had tuh say ...... is 'computer glitch' and 'hard luck' ...... yuh hadda wait til Feb fuh de next half ...... WHA?!
on the TORPEDO front i too was waiting to hear who bounce who cause from the damage on the passenger side of TORDEPO car...
yeah da BODYGAURD eh wah nuttin wit Kevin Costner... and Machel have Kernel and Zan...
d peeps doh have to own the pavement they prob had a container offloadin... is only an hour they requested... it better that they notify than juss be BOLDFACE...
SEMI-ALL-INCLUSIVE... you only experience half of what you were expecting...
I wanna be a PRO DOG...
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Dat is a real funnykurious word yuh come up wid dis time.
Since ah cyah afford to buy land, ah hoping tuh buy a piece a pavement before ah leave. Meh lil legacy to Punks nah, she will have a lil piece ah Planet earth.
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That is what this blog is a classic - I would miss all these entertaining ads
I think all bouncers are called Shreck. I know another bouncer called Shrek and he sometimes doubles as a bodyguard in South I believe. The way that Primera was damaged I would say speed was a factor. Lucky it was a car like the Primera though. Who was wrong? Have no fear, the police looking into it. Hey, I have Torpedo's autograph from just after he came back to Trinidad after the Olympics. It was a chance meeting in a hotel lobby. Reputable hotel lobby
I take it that Full Woman wasn't exactly a beauty queen. Full Woman's daughter is probably like mother in more ways than pretty.
I have a friend who took two six-packs of beer to the St Aug Hi-Lo express lane on ole years day and nearly get put out the line because the cashier say is 12 beers he have. True story.
If you dig deeper than a WASA leak by N&M you may find a WASA connection.
A semi-all-inclusive is defined as a fete where you would get this (doubles) for free but you would have to pay for that (pelau with chicken wing left overs). You would get coke (the fizzy one) for free but you would have to pay for the cups, ice and rum.
Yes, people do own their spot of pavement and can even rent it out to vagrants, vendors and the city.
16 security hats? They don't mean condoms I hope. Anyway, these hats were last seen on the Southbound lane of the Solomon Hochoy Highway sipping Pepsi and eating doubles. They are now among the "missing" in Trinidad.
Is now they looking for witnesses to Rodney Salter's May 23rd accident? Maybe the initial witnesses gone missing.
I thought that the ad read How to Speak Like a Dog and it was being given by the public service. But it may also come in useful if you want to understand the barks that come out of some Public Servants,especially those Licensing Officers who hide their ignorance in their woof.
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So tuh clarify tings lil bit ... I just read in today's Express .... dat Richard Thompson doh even drink Shandy .... so I guess that means he doh drink alcohol .... which would rule out the 'probably tipsy' theory .... so maybe it really WAS speed (as you suggested aka_lol) or tiredness ... altho I cyah really see how yuh could speed on dat road!
Good observation Bandi ..... de man really like our very own Kevin Costner ..... and look at the similarity in name ..... Kevin Costner .... Kevin Da Costa ..... dey nearly de same!
and aka_lol .... yuh orn .... cuz yeah ... Full Woman ... was no beauty queen ... and OMG .... that is where dey get de 12 from .... cuz I was kinda baffled at de two figures eh .... 12 and 20 ... that is hilarious
Jumbie you still in Trini bwoy ..... like yuh eh want tuh leave
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The body guard don't look like Shreck at all, I'd let him guard my body.
Now those ads are hilarious."Dog speak" would sure come in handy for me. My dunce neighbor just let's his dog take a dump right in front of the house. With dog speak I think I might get at least through to the dog.
The supermarket sign is kind of messed up, lol. But I do like the "Not 12-20" on there. Seems like every time I'm in the express line there is somebody in front of me with 20 items.
I do feel for the full womans daughter, sounds like she is doing what mama taught her.
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Nah gyul .... yuh eh want nuttin wit dat bodyguard ..... he go damage yuh .... de man eh joke big yuh know!
.... and ewwwww ..... dat dog scene is gross!! ...... yuh realise that that is one ting ...... that Trinis doh follow from America ..... cuz yuh know in America ...... you cyah jus leave yuh dog poop all over de place ...... yuh hadda be dey personal toilet and collect dat shit wherever dey drop it!!!
an' whey you see 12-20 gyul ....... is ....... 12 or 20 ...... which is even funnier than really just sayin 12-20
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I'll have to agree with the express...i see richard in almost every party for the christmas...and not once did i see him drink neither his girlfriend, and they are both nice by the way
I sit down next to Shrek in a maxi going up to school sometime last year! I felt very protected lol. But yeah you sure to see him with any of our local celebrities.
Scene I think you should call for the water and see what it really about. It sounding enterprising. But where they getting the water though?? they just going to fill a tank from their house and bring it?? hmmmmmm.....
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.... as well as speed and/or tiredness ...... it coulda been a case of not knowin ..... who really have de right of way ..... at dat intersection ...... so like nobody stopped .....
Gyul dis water ting is de worse ...... since I get up dis morning ...... NO WATER ...... what is de time now? ....... 2:34 pm ....... and still NO WATER ....... so I doh know if it is ..... dat it just never came back from since last nite!! ...... ah really doh know what tuh do again!!!!!!! ..... and dat ad ...... it just pissin me off ...... cuz rather than creating a supposed 'solution' ..... it only rubbin salt in de wound ..... cuz clearly dem have an abundance of water from wherever .... dat dey could just advertise fuh sale or whatever ..... steups!
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accordin to d 'papers' he was on the minor road... goin up Picton... and if u eh know who right it betta to stop... i do it even when i rite cause i looking out fuh myself...
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yeah ..... I try to do the same thing too ..... i.e. look out for myself (like at dat Majuba Cross Road intersection)...... but yuh know what ....... shit just happens sometimes ..... like when I too inexplicably crashed my car in November!
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well like 2009 startin off wit car accidents. First Richard now Giselle. Happy dat he ok buh, RIP Giselle. so sad.
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I know .... I was now contemplating posting something about it ...... I think I'm still in shock .......
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This is simply the most brilliant Trini blog out there.
I am proud.
Wish there were more like this.
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Well Thank You Trinidad. Adventist. Gay?! ....... yours is pretty interesting too
PS: da blog doesn't save names with characters like full stops and question marks and exclamation marks ..... sorry!
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Oh gorm man is everyting Trini's copying, both stuff dat is good and stuff dats bad? Dey eh know de utterly and completely dotish use's of appostrophe's i's one ah mih pet peeve's? S'teup's'.
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Nah I did say I let him guard my body not play with it. He looks like he could do the job.
Yuh right about the 12 or 20 , I missed that and agree its funnier.
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Oh gorm... yuh kill meh with the bodyguard piece because just like you I see him everywhere, I was pointing him out to someone just last week and saying the same thing!!! He is really like air... dat is really funny!! LOL
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