I am ah Roman Catholic ..... so I grow up on ah steady diet of Hot Cross Buns every Good Friday ...... as ah matter of fact ..... Good Friday tuh me was always about de food ..... cuz odda dan de standard Hot Cross Buns fuh breakfast ..... de lunch menu never changed either ..... Good Friday food in my house ..... always consisted of some seriously wonderful blue food ...... ting like dasheen ...... sweet potato ..... yam ....... cassava ...... dumpling ..... salt fish ...... red beans ...... etc. etc ...... but anyway ....... today ah want tuh tackle de ever popular HOT CROSS BUN!

Now as ah say ...... I grow up on buns ...... but it was never ah ting .... dat ah had tuh source mehself ...... mummy would always ensure dat we were well stocked ...... so yesterday (wit mummy now living far far away) ..... when fren dropped by wit ah 6-bun box ...... an' offer meh 2 ..... wit de intention of keepin dem fuh today (tuh keep wit tradition nah) ...... ah just couldn't resist ...... ah lick dem up one time ...... an' when ah tell yuh de ting taste good ...... it was so soft (not like dem hard dry-up ones ah buy ah time) ...... so yuh know ah jus had tuh get more right ...... so ah ask fren whey she get dem ...... and ...... lo and behold ..... she tell meh HILO ..... I didn't even know HILO does sell Hot Cross Buns ..... cuz last year ..... when I was lookin fuh some ...... ah next fren chain meh up tuh buy from Adams Bagels ...... and Jah ...... I swear is about $50 I had pay fuh dat shit .....

So really an' truly ...... wit dat memory ...... and not knowin where else ah could get (fuh cheap) ...... Hot Cross Buns wasn't even included on my Good Friday menu dis year ......

But ah kinda strayin ...... so back tuh HILO ....... which is exactly where ah end up after fren had leave ...... cuz at $2.00 ah moutful of yummylicious ...... ah couldn't go wrong ..... 

Well ..... HELLO ..... I DID go wrong ..... wrong place ...... wrong day ...... wrong time ...... cuz who sen me ..... especially at 5:45 pm ...... on de day before ah long long weekend ...... when everywhere jus busy fuh no reason ..... and mankind in bitch/hustle mode after ah long day at de office and tryin tuh avoid dry runs and tryin tuh stock up fuh de weekend!! ...... cuz when I reach eeeen de grocery so ...... an' ah turn left tuh head tuh de Bakery ....... if you see people ....... you woulda swear is money dey givin away ..... was real tantana ..... people all over de place ....... crowdin up one little fragile lookin plastic counter ...... an' on top ah dat ..... de HILO staff was real buffin people too .... leff, rite an' centre ...... after about 15 minutes of standing in de mob dodgin buffs ...... I finally made my way tuh de front ...... only tuh be ignored by all the staff behind the counter ...... I so short ...... dat I coulda hard reach de top of de counter ...... I doh tink dem was seein me at all ...... but eventually one spot meh ...... and instruct ah next one ..... tuh handle de lady in de pink (me) ...... so ah get exited now ...... cuz my ration of 12 Hot Cross Buns ..... was on its way ...... yeah da'is de most each customer coulda get ..... and I needed about 24 ...... anyway ...... so boxes start tuh flow from de back now ...... makin dey way out tuh de counter ..... when some woman put out she hand and take MINE ...... de boldfacity!! ...... well de HILO staff start tuh cuss (not literally) and get orn (on my behalf) ...... she pelt off de apron ...... and some clort she had in her hand ..... and storm out de Bakery yes ...... all because her 'instruction' (tuh handle de lady in de pink next) wasn't followed ...... well yuh gyul was likin sheself ...... cuz nobody doh stand up fuh me so ...... anyway ...... wit dah one ...... de very next box was mine ...... and I was out ..... out tuh aisle one ..... tuh start tuh full up meh cart fuh de long weekend.



look meh buns dat get attack since yesterday ......


Now what struck me ...... is de tizzickness dat dem lil hot buns wit crosses was causin ...... hot being de operative word here ..... cuz watch meh ...... I realise yesterday ...... dat 'hot' is no idle boast ...... dem lil tings ...... real hotttt fuh tru ..... but wha de hell ...... why tho ...... cuz why some ah dem same people couldn't just buy sandwich loaf ..... an' leh me get my 24 buns in peace ...... wuz de real scene wit Hot Cross Buns?!

Next year I know what I goin' an' do yuh know ...... next year ...... I goin' an' SCALP Hot Cross Buns ...... yeah ...... cuz de scene I witness yesterday ...... I realise I could make ah cool bread off ah sellin hot cross buns ...... yeah ...... ah will go in HILO early in de mornin ....... buy meh stock fuh de $2.00 ..... an sell dem fuh ah lil $4.00 (a la Linda's) ...... yeah ..... an' I eh only sellin packs yuh know ....... ah sellin dem 'loose' too .....

Anyway ...... ah gorn ...... cuz meh uncle offer meh food today ...... an' ah goin fuh it jus now ...... altho he living real far eh ...... but oh gorm ..... ah cyah stomach another one ah dem buns!!

PS:  I hope Neyo doh try tuh come Trinidad again eh ..... cuz he might get pelt ...... I cyah believe we get stood up fuh de second time ...... from de same artiste ..... an' talkin bout gettin stood up ...... ah hear like Richie Spice lookin tuh duck we too!