Meh Car Wash Man ....
Since de lil Obamamania last week ...... nuttin eh really jumpin out at meh tuh crap on nah ..... not even de story about de 3 Police tiefin exotic birds from ah fisherman (who btw was brining dem in illegally) ..... or even de one about de pitbull maulin de 3 year old chile (fuh de @#$%& umpteenth time!!!) ...... or even de resumption of murders ...... but ..... ah jus had tuh break meh silence today ...... cuz someting happen ..... dat have meh so happy eh .....
My car wash man is back!
Is donkey years I livin whey ah livin ..... and is donkey years dis man washin car whey I livin ..... and tho de man started off as ah nice little mule ..... over de years ..... he grew into a full blown jackass! ...... de man just started tuh become idiotic ..... and I suspect dat alcohol (among other things) was de catalyst ..... cuz many a time ....... he would come tuh wash de car ....... an' as ah open de door tuh pay him ...... de scent would literally cuff meh in meh face!
Now de only reason I continued tuh take orn dis man ...... is cuz ah know him fuh years ....... he washin meh car fuh years ...... and he lil dotish too ...... so ah know he cyah really do nuttin else (an' everybody hadda live) ...... so ah used tuh endure him every week (every Sunday) ...... but one day ..... ah jus get so fed up seein him an' smellin him ..... dat ah come up wit ah real bright idea ...... tuh leave he pay in meh mailbox ...... dat way ...... he could come whatever day ...... wash de car ...... an' he money go be dey ..... he eh hadda see me ...... and I eh hadda see he! ..... twas ah win-win setup ...... which was goin real nice ...... until (some day last year) ...... he come knockin on meh door ...... tuh tell meh ...... dat he tink one of he 'trainees' (yeah he started bringin ah lil boy tuh 'train') ..... figure out dat I does leave money fuh him ...... and dat said trainee tief de money ..... Grrrrrr??? ...... why he come tuh tell me dat ....... I really doh know!!! ..... cuz as far as I was concern ..... dat was he staff ..... an' he problem! ..... I was still goin' tuh leave de money in de mailbox ..... cuz dat was de solution tuh MY problem!
After dat time now ...... he would conjure up all kinds of dotish stories tuh come an' give meh ..... jus tuh come knockin on meh door ...... ting dat have no relevance tuh my life ...... ting like how he have tuh go Cuba fuh eye surgery (like if he's flickin Patrick Manning) ....... steups ...... eventually our communication/relationship ...... just got worse an' worse ...... until de fateful day ...... when he come an' tell meh ...... dat he want an 'advance' ..... an' ah tell him ...... dat he is tuh only get paid ...... when he done do de wuk ....... well ..... he get piss off ...... den I tell him piss off ...... den he storm off ...... den I signed off ...... me eh take he orn one fart ...... cuz tuh me ...... he was very replaceable ..... I say I go jus get somebody else tuh wash de car ..... one ah meh tallman fren or sumtin!
Eh heh?! ...... dey really say dat yuh doh miss de water til de well run dry ...... cuz I soon discovered ..... that there's no such creature ...... as ah 'Car Wash Man' anymore ...... not even meh so-called frens (de tallman ones dat is) ..... was willin tuh help out ah sista ...... and is not like ah lazy an' cyah wash meh own car eh ...... if I were bigger ...... and it was smaller yeah! ....... so ....... needless tuh say ...... gettin my car washed suddenly became a problem ....... an' watch meh ...... where I livin have real trees and birds ...... so yuh know what dat mean ...... miscellaneous birds does be limin an' shittin all over de car .....
So ...... ah had no choice ..... but tuh resort tuh de nex bess ting ..... Peake's Car Wash ..... well ...... I doh know if I jus paranoid or dotish ..... cuz dat Peake's scene didn't impress me at all ...... I was real on edge ..... I wasn't comfortable at all ....... drivin tru dat ting ..... wit all dem ting flyin out at yuh ...... assaultin yuh car ..... call me ole school ...... but tuh me ....... is no way dat ah automated car wash scene ..... could beat ah human wash ...... so ...... wit dat said ..... and wit no humans tuh wash meh car ...... ah still didn't dig nuttin ...... cuz if is one ting dat de supposed global economic crisis caused ....... is de emergence of real CAR WASH in Trini ......
Now I remember long time ...... it didn't have no such ting as ah car wash in Trini ...... man used tuh wash dey own car ...... den came Peake's ...... and dat was dat ...... but over de past few months ...... is real car wash jus popin up ....... every hole in de wall ..... is ah car wash now ...... and I been meanin tuh take pics eh ...... but most ah dem in some real holes fuh true ...... so pics was provin tuh be lil tricky ..... but ..... even tho ah would always be in ah real desperate state ...... you know I never check out none ah dem! ...... an' yuh know my car like meh chile ..... so ah know dat sayin ...... dat ah would drive it wit bird shit on it .... and den sayin ..... dat ah refuse tuh go get it washed ...... sounding lil contradictory and not like a good mummy ...... but I just never felt comfortable trustin any of those places ...... den de next issue was cost ...... cuz I also discovered ..... dat my car wash man was charging de 'piper' rate ...... cuz fuh years ...... my boy used tuh wash my car fuh $10 ....... and den ...... about two years ago ...... he raise it tuh $15 ...... yeah ..... an' dis discovery came ..... when some weeks ago ...... ah went tuh pay meh Plumber bill ...... and apparently he family does do Car Wash too (again - who isn't nowadays) ...... so ah ask him de cost tuh wash de car ...... well ah nearly dead when de man answer meh ...... de man tell meh $55 ....... ah say EH??? ...... so he say da'is tuh wash and clean de inside ...... so again ah say EH??? (cuz me eh ask him nuttin bout cleanin de inside) ...... den he tell meh tuh jus wash is $40 ....... so ah say EH HEH - AH GO CHECK YUH BACK! ...... well you know I never went back right ..... so wit de help of God ..... my car was only gettin wash ...... when it rained!
Fast forward tuh today now ...... when somebody come knocking on meh door ...... and it turn out tuh be brudda-man ....... well I was in my glee ..... fuh de first time ah was actually happy dat he was knockin on meh door ..... ah say 'Tank You Jah' ...... so ah open de door ..... of course wit ah lil attitude .... jus tuh remind him dat I'm still a bitch so doh mess ...... and he tell meh he back ...... blah, blah, blah ...... he even slip eeeen ah lil apology fuh gettin orn like ah idiot de las time we spoke ...... after which I commented on his new aura (very improved) ...... which he attributed tuh being away from here (or me) fuh 9 months ...... which made me gasp ...... cuz I couldn't believe is 9 months my car eh get wash (actually ah lie, it get wash once in dat time) ...... anyway ..... I welcomed him back ...... ah ask him if he does still charge $15 ..... he replied ...... YES ..... FUH YOU! ..... so ah put him back tuh work immediately!
And the moral of this story is ...... doh pay no $40 fuh what yuh could get fuh $15 ...... even if it mean drivin around in ah stink car (while yuh lookin fuh de $15 deal) ..... cuz it gonna rain anyway!
PS: ..... Look out fuh dat SWINE flu eh people ..... cuz yuh know dat ANYTING dat happenin around de world ..... ah Trini does be dey ...... so beware of all pigs (human ones and animal ones)!
My car wash man is back!
Is donkey years I livin whey ah livin ..... and is donkey years dis man washin car whey I livin ..... and tho de man started off as ah nice little mule ..... over de years ..... he grew into a full blown jackass! ...... de man just started tuh become idiotic ..... and I suspect dat alcohol (among other things) was de catalyst ..... cuz many a time ....... he would come tuh wash de car ....... an' as ah open de door tuh pay him ...... de scent would literally cuff meh in meh face!
Now de only reason I continued tuh take orn dis man ...... is cuz ah know him fuh years ....... he washin meh car fuh years ...... and he lil dotish too ...... so ah know he cyah really do nuttin else (an' everybody hadda live) ...... so ah used tuh endure him every week (every Sunday) ...... but one day ..... ah jus get so fed up seein him an' smellin him ..... dat ah come up wit ah real bright idea ...... tuh leave he pay in meh mailbox ...... dat way ...... he could come whatever day ...... wash de car ...... an' he money go be dey ..... he eh hadda see me ...... and I eh hadda see he! ..... twas ah win-win setup ...... which was goin real nice ...... until (some day last year) ...... he come knockin on meh door ...... tuh tell meh ...... dat he tink one of he 'trainees' (yeah he started bringin ah lil boy tuh 'train') ..... figure out dat I does leave money fuh him ...... and dat said trainee tief de money ..... Grrrrrr??? ...... why he come tuh tell me dat ....... I really doh know!!! ..... cuz as far as I was concern ..... dat was he staff ..... an' he problem! ..... I was still goin' tuh leave de money in de mailbox ..... cuz dat was de solution tuh MY problem!
After dat time now ...... he would conjure up all kinds of dotish stories tuh come an' give meh ..... jus tuh come knockin on meh door ...... ting dat have no relevance tuh my life ...... ting like how he have tuh go Cuba fuh eye surgery (like if he's flickin Patrick Manning) ....... steups ...... eventually our communication/relationship ...... just got worse an' worse ...... until de fateful day ...... when he come an' tell meh ...... dat he want an 'advance' ..... an' ah tell him ...... dat he is tuh only get paid ...... when he done do de wuk ....... well ..... he get piss off ...... den I tell him piss off ...... den he storm off ...... den I signed off ...... me eh take he orn one fart ...... cuz tuh me ...... he was very replaceable ..... I say I go jus get somebody else tuh wash de car ..... one ah meh tallman fren or sumtin!
Eh heh?! ...... dey really say dat yuh doh miss de water til de well run dry ...... cuz I soon discovered ..... that there's no such creature ...... as ah 'Car Wash Man' anymore ...... not even meh so-called frens (de tallman ones dat is) ..... was willin tuh help out ah sista ...... and is not like ah lazy an' cyah wash meh own car eh ...... if I were bigger ...... and it was smaller yeah! ....... so ....... needless tuh say ...... gettin my car washed suddenly became a problem ....... an' watch meh ...... where I livin have real trees and birds ...... so yuh know what dat mean ...... miscellaneous birds does be limin an' shittin all over de car .....
So ...... ah had no choice ..... but tuh resort tuh de nex bess ting ..... Peake's Car Wash ..... well ...... I doh know if I jus paranoid or dotish ..... cuz dat Peake's scene didn't impress me at all ...... I was real on edge ..... I wasn't comfortable at all ....... drivin tru dat ting ..... wit all dem ting flyin out at yuh ...... assaultin yuh car ..... call me ole school ...... but tuh me ....... is no way dat ah automated car wash scene ..... could beat ah human wash ...... so ...... wit dat said ..... and wit no humans tuh wash meh car ...... ah still didn't dig nuttin ...... cuz if is one ting dat de supposed global economic crisis caused ....... is de emergence of real CAR WASH in Trini ......
Now I remember long time ...... it didn't have no such ting as ah car wash in Trini ...... man used tuh wash dey own car ...... den came Peake's ...... and dat was dat ...... but over de past few months ...... is real car wash jus popin up ....... every hole in de wall ..... is ah car wash now ...... and I been meanin tuh take pics eh ...... but most ah dem in some real holes fuh true ...... so pics was provin tuh be lil tricky ..... but ..... even tho ah would always be in ah real desperate state ...... you know I never check out none ah dem! ...... an' yuh know my car like meh chile ..... so ah know dat sayin ...... dat ah would drive it wit bird shit on it .... and den sayin ..... dat ah refuse tuh go get it washed ...... sounding lil contradictory and not like a good mummy ...... but I just never felt comfortable trustin any of those places ...... den de next issue was cost ...... cuz I also discovered ..... dat my car wash man was charging de 'piper' rate ...... cuz fuh years ...... my boy used tuh wash my car fuh $10 ....... and den ...... about two years ago ...... he raise it tuh $15 ...... yeah ..... an' dis discovery came ..... when some weeks ago ...... ah went tuh pay meh Plumber bill ...... and apparently he family does do Car Wash too (again - who isn't nowadays) ...... so ah ask him de cost tuh wash de car ...... well ah nearly dead when de man answer meh ...... de man tell meh $55 ....... ah say EH??? ...... so he say da'is tuh wash and clean de inside ...... so again ah say EH??? (cuz me eh ask him nuttin bout cleanin de inside) ...... den he tell meh tuh jus wash is $40 ....... so ah say EH HEH - AH GO CHECK YUH BACK! ...... well you know I never went back right ..... so wit de help of God ..... my car was only gettin wash ...... when it rained!
Fast forward tuh today now ...... when somebody come knocking on meh door ...... and it turn out tuh be brudda-man ....... well I was in my glee ..... fuh de first time ah was actually happy dat he was knockin on meh door ..... ah say 'Tank You Jah' ...... so ah open de door ..... of course wit ah lil attitude .... jus tuh remind him dat I'm still a bitch so doh mess ...... and he tell meh he back ...... blah, blah, blah ...... he even slip eeeen ah lil apology fuh gettin orn like ah idiot de las time we spoke ...... after which I commented on his new aura (very improved) ...... which he attributed tuh being away from here (or me) fuh 9 months ...... which made me gasp ...... cuz I couldn't believe is 9 months my car eh get wash (actually ah lie, it get wash once in dat time) ...... anyway ..... I welcomed him back ...... ah ask him if he does still charge $15 ..... he replied ...... YES ..... FUH YOU! ..... so ah put him back tuh work immediately!
And the moral of this story is ...... doh pay no $40 fuh what yuh could get fuh $15 ...... even if it mean drivin around in ah stink car (while yuh lookin fuh de $15 deal) ..... cuz it gonna rain anyway!
PS: ..... Look out fuh dat SWINE flu eh people ..... cuz yuh know dat ANYTING dat happenin around de world ..... ah Trini does be dey ...... so beware of all pigs (human ones and animal ones)!
So why yuh didn't wash d car yuhself ?
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Aye Hugh boy ..... long time no see ...... ah woulda wash de car mehself ...... if ah coulda reach de top ....... but ah can't ..... is ah Beast I does drive yuh know!
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Yeah gyirl,ah still around. So is dat dey use when Barack was here? Yuh coulda tell mih yuh was big in de dance. Den yuh really cyar wash dat yuhself. Vehicle like dat mus have a washer.
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it seems that I eh miss out on nuttin much last week... and I see you like me with car care... I does hope to meet the piper too ... the cheapest I ever got a car wash was TT$7 from the piper...
oh and I do believe that there were Car Washes before Peakes... POS had and I've seen remnants of others in T&T...
and I feel is d US spreadin da SWINE FLU.... yuh eh realize it spring up in places that BO visited recently... we may not notice it cause we accustomed to HOGGISH people...
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Nah bandi ...... yuh win wit dat one ....... $7!!!
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Your car wash man is something else. I can't belive he had the nerve to ask for an advance.lol
Good for you that he is back coz nothing beats a hand wash and 15 bucks compared to 40 is a very good deal.
As for the swine flu, the question that we need to ask ourselves are, when is it going to hit and how hard? Just prepare yourself for it. I stocked up on pain/fever reducing meds, water, salt, sugar,saltine crackers, instant chicken broth and some herbal meds such as echinacea and elderberry. Luckily I do not have to use public transportation, so I do not need anything to cover my mouth. I can only advise you all to do the same, especially if you have children or old folks in your family.
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$15 is GREAT!!! ..... da'is why ah swallow meh pride ..... an' ah welcome him back wit open arms!
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Since moving to the UK, I have realised that drivers here in Birmingham prefer handwashing. You can obtain a handwash for your vehicle for as little as £3.50.
The argument is that grit and particles stick to the scrubbers in the mechanised car wash and scratch the paint on the next car following.
Dat poor car wash man come too late! All the Christmas goodies and de hot cross buns etc done.... he cyah even get a lagniappe.
Oh well, maybe you could let him have the 'guana. (^_^)
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LOL ..... he could definitely have de 'guana ..... and yeah ...... that's exactly why I not on dem car wash ...... cuz I swear dat ting scratch-up my sunroof ...... cuz how else could up dere get scratch-up ....... except ...... wait ah minute ...... it muzbe get scratch-up from one ah de many bird limes!
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Ah feel ah have tuh come up north tuh wash meh car. I never come across ah $15 wash in south.
Buh wait nah, how yuh chirren going? Leh we see some pics nah, if dey ent fly off already?
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Trust me ..... he is probably de only man washin car fuh $15 in de whole of Trinidad .....
...... an' I doh know where de chirren gorn nah ...... ah tink dey fly away ...... I never got a chance tuh take pics of them (cuz of de dotish close up nest) ...... the mummy still sleeps in the nest tho .....
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When I was in Trini for Christmas, de fella who used to wash meh car, vacuum and amorall it and charge me $10 tell me no change in price for me... but that must be because I use to tip him a fiver off the books for himself... not to be handed to the employers...
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Whoa .... and I tort bandi win wit he $7 .......
....... $10 ...... fuh ah wash .... ah vacuum ...... AND Amoral!!!! ......
PS: you know de man eh come yesterday ..... after he tell meh is only Sundays and Mondays he could come ...... I so mad eh ..... cuz dat means I have tuh wait ah whole week again tuh get de car wash!!!
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For years I never paid less than $40 for a car wash in St. Augustine or Pt. Lisas. Anyway, most times I do it myself since I am trying to develop those muscles associated with scrubbing and chupesing. I am thinking about washing cars on weekends to make some extra cash to pay for newspapers.
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LOL aka ..... I might have tuh come an' help yuh wash car yes ..... cuz when my subscriptions expire (which is jus now) ..... I cyah afford tuh renew all ah dem ..... cuz dat go be ah whole $2 ...... by 3 papers ..... by 12 months ..... lawd!!!
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Read online...
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Jumbie .... it eh de same ..... online doh have all dem wack pics and ads an' ting!
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I know, dat is why I does suffer... but it still cheaper than buying de printed version.
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i had to revisit this post as i hit the Falls today...
why yuh juss doh let dem 6 or 7 boys who does be washing ppl window by the light exiting the Mall wipe the body of the car as well... is only a dollar each so yuh could get the wash real cheap
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boy ..... I does be real dodgin dem lil boys ...... dey kyna scary ......
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kinda?... i stopped about 4 car lengths from d lights... and gave them the look... "if yuh touch meh car..."
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