Crime ... Comedy ... and the thin line ...
Whhheeeeyyyy ...... you see de price ah dat cheese ...... and dat dog shampoo??!!
Now story number 1 say dat ...... ah man of no fixed address (ah vagrant?) ...... make ah jail ...... after he was charged wit attemptin tuh steal 4 blocks of cheese from his employer ..... because said employer refuse tuh pay him he pay ......
Now I doh know what tuh make of dis story .... cuz if you put down ah hard day's work ...... why it is yuh employer would jus refuse tuh pay yuh jus so (cuz yuh's ah vagrant?) ..... den ...... wuz up wit de cheese ..... why ...... outta everyting in Savers Choice Supermarket ..... he choose cheese tuh tief ...... hmmmm ..... unless ...... maybe Mr. Cheese Man is ah lil 'hip-hop'..... cuz yuh know in de hip-hop world dey does call money 'cheddar' ..... so I doh know ...... maybe Mr. Man ...... tell heself ...... dat inasmuch as dey eh want tuh give him he "cheddar" ...... he go jus improvise with some real Cheddar ..... den ..... de next jumbie in de story ..... de ANCHOR ..... de man eh look tuh tief no regular cheddar cheese yuh know ...... de man went straight tuh de top ..... Anchor Cheddar Cheese ..... ah yes ..... ah guess if yuh gonna tief ..... it make sense tuh raff de expensive stuff ..... LOL!
Den story number 2 say dat ...... ah man get fined ...... ah whole $1000 ..... fuh tiefin ah bottle of dog shampoo (Magic Coat Fresh Essence Shampoo) ..... dat cost ah whopping $58.79 ...... apparently de man went tuh de grocery ...... and upon entering ...... didn't bother tuh take no grocery cart or basket ...... so he end up holdin ah setta ting in he hand ...... and when he couldn't hold no more ..... he decide tuh put ting in he pocket ...... like de bottle of shampoo ...... den ...... in de hecticness of de grocery shoppin ...... he clean forget dat he put de shampoo in he pocket ..... and BAM ...... he geh hole ..... jus so!
Oh lawd ..... LMAO ...... de Judge slap de man wit ah 60 days hard labour ...... an' tell him that that should 'jog his memory' ......
Now my fascination wit dis story ...... is not de obvious eh ...... is de fact that that dog shampoo ...... more expensive dan de shampoo I does use ...... wuz dah scene ...... what it have in dat dog shampoo so dat could make it cost ah whole nearly $60 ...... is it dat is ah shampoo and conditioner in one ...... wha??? ...... den de nex ting ...... fuh my boy tuh try tuh tief someting in de first place ...... means he was lil low on funds right ...... so da'is what you go tief ...... dog shampoo ...... not even ah lil food ...... like ah lil block ah cheese or sumtin ....... dog shampoo??!! ...... but den again ...... ah guess wit dat wack price tag (jus like de cheese) ...... it was more feasible tuh tief that ...... than say ah bread!!!
..... so now ..... is ah whole $1000 ..... da he outta pocket ..... fuh gettin ketch ...... fuh puttin ting in he pocket ..... an' as fuh de dog ..... well ..... so much fuh he magic coat and fresh essence!!!
PS: ...... after months of searching the length and breadth of Trinidad ..... I finally found my cute little Lasko Breeze Machine ..... tank de Lord ...... no more mosquito battles fuh me ...... ah sleep like a baby! 
Sistren
De IandI is sad to report dat de shampoo "tief" is one of de ONLY fellas dat works wid de IandI. De dongturn in livelihood due to de upsurge in traffic on de overpass bring him to dis.
De man ha a bes' dog, de IandI not good wid non english non bible words so IandI in no position to say de type a dog.
Is a bes' breed an now it smelling...tank Jah de man did not have a cat...btw we vendors is de ONLY men dat does jog for a living damn babylon farse,,,
Reply to this
but yuh know ...... I jus realise dat we assumin is ah dog de man wanted de shampoo for ..... cuz de shampoo is fuh dogs ..... AND cats eh ..... so who's tuh say he wasn't tiefin it fuh he cat ..... LOL ..... ah really hope is ah dog fuh true doh ..... cuz a dutty dog is one ting ..... but ah dutty cat ..... is ah whole odda kettle ah fish!
Reply to this
ah dutty cat ..... is ah whole odda kettle ah fish!
Gasp... wheeze... cough... choke...
Ah trying tuh ketch meh breath on that one.
Reply to this
LOL
Reply to this
I don't know when Martin Joseph is going to put his foot down on cheese theft, especially cheddar cheese theft. For every block of Anchor cheese stolen the price of a block goes up a fraction . This is clearly a case where Peter is once again paying for Paul's cheese.
Anybody who steals dog shampoo is obviously going to "put dong ah wuck" somewhere. Possibly he was going to open a dog-bathing service instead of a car wash. I don't know if is safe to use dog shampoo on cats but he could offer an incentive "Dog bath - $60.00 - we bathe your cat for free." Sometimes the law gets in the way of progress.
Reply to this
LOL .... comin tuh tink of it ..... wasn't there really some other cheese tiefin story some time ago fuh tru?! ..... and I doh know if it safe either (i.e. tuh use dog shampoo on cats) ..... but according tuh de article .... is not fuh dogs alone ..... is fuh cats too ..... which ..... when yuh really tink about it ...... is ah lil confusin ..... cuz I didn't even realise cats does bathe wit shampoo an' ting ..... cuz don't they normally get clean by licking?!
Reply to this
Cuz I didn't even realise cats does bathe wit shampoo an' ting ..... cuz don't they normally get clean by licking?!
But how?!!! Since time immemorial, man cleaning cat by licking dem. (^_~)
Reply to this
De IandI would like to take dis opportunity to state CAT I gorically in a effort to stop any CAtastrophe dat IandI are neider a CATorlick nor a CATlicker
Reply to this
i find these mosquitoes rell fast and outta place these days too
but what i really want is the lasko with the remote control and a timer too
i don't want to be getting up to take it off
Reply to this
yuh know what I study de odda day ...... it have any other brand ..... other than LASKO ...... when it come tuh fan!?
Reply to this
But how! I had a Kirpalani fan!
I bet you never hear bout that... but that fan last meh over 10 years.
You ever see a Lasko laskover 6 months????
Reply to this
I know about Kirpalani de store (dat used tuh be in Barataria) ..... I never hear bout no Kirpalani fan!
Reply to this
Kirpalani had many of their own brand name products.
Reply to this
Really ...... I didn't know that ...... I used to go there as a child yes!
and actually ...... my last lasko breeze machine survived much longer than 6 months ..... it lasted years ..... de only reason it mash up is cuz I used tuh mistreat it ...... it fall down nuff time .... and it get fling nuff time ..... but now that I know dat dey so damn hard tuh find in Trini ..... I will definitely take better care of my new one
Reply to this