Crap on Cars ... Part 1
Yesterday ...... in a fit of boredom ...... and slight depression (after reading de 3 dailies) ...... I decided to do some housekeeping ...... on my computer ...... with a view tuh doin ah lil backup after ....... cuz guess what ..... I think my computer's on de way out too ..... yeah ..... de fan stop workin ...... an' yuh know me ..... is whole day I does be fingerin dat keyboard ..... so it does get real hot ..... but ..... lucky fuh me ..... is ah good ting ah jus buy meh lil breeze machine de odda day ...... cuz dat coolin her off real nice fuh de hour ..... so ..... doh be too surprised ...... if one day ah logon here tuh say ...... dat ah piratin internet ....... cuz Ms. Laptop suffered de same fate as Ms. Camera!
...... anyway ...... in de course of de cleanin up ..... ah bounce up ah whole folder wit ah setta pictures of cars ...... yes ..... I clean forget dat I was collectin pictures of cars ...... pics of cars on crap (i.e. people doin foolishness on de road) ..... and pics of crap on cars (i.e. cars wit real shit stick up dem) .....
Now I doh know about you ...... but I cyah fuh de life of me understand ...... how yuh could spend thousand of dollars on ah car ..... and den go and deface it ...... wit shit like stickers and misspelt words and nonsensical quotes ...... I remember ah time ..... I went tuh tint de windows on my car ...... and when dey done ...... de dotish people put dey blasted company sticker on my windscreen ...... WHY ..... Iz not no driving advertisement fuh you ..... I was blue! ...... another time too ...... I take my car tuh gas de AC ..... and de same shit happen ...... de company put dey company sticker on my car ...... again ..... without askin ...... WHY ...... I doh know ..... I muzbe really too anal yes ..... cuz dat is one trend dat I will never comprehend!
Now is way too many pics tuh post in ah one ..... so ah had tuh ration dem ...... half today ..... half ah nex day (starrin Maxis) ...... and trust me ...... de second half is just as bad eh ...... but you tell me ...... look at some ah dem tings ...... an' tell me what de arse it is some ah dem really mean?!

NO. 1 - Dis is ah blast from de past ....... but ah just had tuh bring it back .....
fuh obvious reasons ......

NO. 2 - Is that the famous 'this is your brain on drugs' egg ...... cuz what else
could a splattered sunny-side up egg on de back glass of yuh car symbolise?

NO. 3 - As far as I see ...... Things NOT looking up ..... wud up wit de word
'Things' ..... like it eatin away ..... and WTF dat really mean?

NO. 4 - Why in heaven's name would you want to drive around in a car
with fake bullet holes on it ...... when yuh could easily get de real ting?

NO. 5 - Okey Dokey!

NO. 6 - Why Bad Vibes ..... why not Good Vibes ..... and why on de windscreen .....
cuz every time he jump eeeeen he car ..... he go hadda drive wit ah back-tuh-front
'Bad Vibes' facin him ..... this one is just beyond analysis!

NO. 7 - Awwww ..... look at dat ...... Truly Blessed and Bless ..... drivin alongside
each other ...... too cute .... dey muzbe brothers!

NO. 8 - Yuh tink dey ran out of letters ..... cuz what does God + Faith + Courage = ???
...... Nothing? ...... Blackness? ..... what?

NO. 9 - Lawd ...... Mr. PBP ...... is GRATEFUL ...... ah eh able nah ...... dis
one took meh straight back tuh 'hooked on phonics' .....

NO. 10 - Completely unnecessary ..... and not tuh mention ..... completely
unattractive too .....

NO. 11 - LOL ..... jus plain ole Progress yes ..... dis one had tuh be ah tribute tuh
dat bad ass song by King Austin .....

NO. 12 - Ultimate??? .... (Note de ultimate in idiocy on de shoulder)

NO. 13 - Yes we know ..... and thanks for giving us a gentle reminder every time
we're stuck in traffic behind you!

NO. 14 - I not even gonna try tuh understand this one ...... I lorse!

NO. 15 - Wicked People ...... they're everywhere now ..... so why put dat shit
on yuh car too?

NO. 16 - Black ..... AND ..... Gifted ..... you go brutha!

NO. 17 - These ones does get meh ..... cuz I feel ....... dat people does feel .....
dat if dey put God ting on dey car ..... dat God go like dem ..... an' he go protect
dem from harm on de road ..... yes ..... dese does be tryin tuh tief God head!

NO. 18 - After God? ...... too bad de car wasn't 'After God' too ......

NO. 19 - This is precisely the point I've been trying to make throughout this
entire post ..... WHAT?

NO. 20 - An' oh gorm ...... last and best ...... look at patriotism nah ..... dis is my
favourite 'crap on cars' pic ...... cuz dis ah could understand ...... it like ah driving
flag ...... an' yuh know ah like meh red, black and white ..... but dat said ...... I still
wasn't doin DAT shit tuh MY car tho!
PS: ..... ah cyah wait fuh de Eminem backlash ..... from last night's MTV Movie Awards ..... I real laugh ..... oh ..... and checkout Afro Chic fuh yuh 'I am Legend II' review .... ah so mad ah didn't go eh!
...... anyway ...... in de course of de cleanin up ..... ah bounce up ah whole folder wit ah setta pictures of cars ...... yes ..... I clean forget dat I was collectin pictures of cars ...... pics of cars on crap (i.e. people doin foolishness on de road) ..... and pics of crap on cars (i.e. cars wit real shit stick up dem) .....
Now I doh know about you ...... but I cyah fuh de life of me understand ...... how yuh could spend thousand of dollars on ah car ..... and den go and deface it ...... wit shit like stickers and misspelt words and nonsensical quotes ...... I remember ah time ..... I went tuh tint de windows on my car ...... and when dey done ...... de dotish people put dey blasted company sticker on my windscreen ...... WHY ..... Iz not no driving advertisement fuh you ..... I was blue! ...... another time too ...... I take my car tuh gas de AC ..... and de same shit happen ...... de company put dey company sticker on my car ...... again ..... without askin ...... WHY ...... I doh know ..... I muzbe really too anal yes ..... cuz dat is one trend dat I will never comprehend!
Now is way too many pics tuh post in ah one ..... so ah had tuh ration dem ...... half today ..... half ah nex day (starrin Maxis) ...... and trust me ...... de second half is just as bad eh ...... but you tell me ...... look at some ah dem tings ...... an' tell me what de arse it is some ah dem really mean?!
NO. 1 - Dis is ah blast from de past ....... but ah just had tuh bring it back .....
fuh obvious reasons ......
NO. 2 - Is that the famous 'this is your brain on drugs' egg ...... cuz what else
could a splattered sunny-side up egg on de back glass of yuh car symbolise?
NO. 3 - As far as I see ...... Things NOT looking up ..... wud up wit de word
'Things' ..... like it eatin away ..... and WTF dat really mean?
NO. 4 - Why in heaven's name would you want to drive around in a car
with fake bullet holes on it ...... when yuh could easily get de real ting?
NO. 5 - Okey Dokey!
NO. 6 - Why Bad Vibes ..... why not Good Vibes ..... and why on de windscreen .....
cuz every time he jump eeeeen he car ..... he go hadda drive wit ah back-tuh-front
'Bad Vibes' facin him ..... this one is just beyond analysis!
NO. 7 - Awwww ..... look at dat ...... Truly Blessed and Bless ..... drivin alongside
each other ...... too cute .... dey muzbe brothers!
NO. 8 - Yuh tink dey ran out of letters ..... cuz what does God + Faith + Courage = ???
...... Nothing? ...... Blackness? ..... what?
NO. 9 - Lawd ...... Mr. PBP ...... is GRATEFUL ...... ah eh able nah ...... dis
one took meh straight back tuh 'hooked on phonics' .....
NO. 10 - Completely unnecessary ..... and not tuh mention ..... completely
unattractive too .....
NO. 11 - LOL ..... jus plain ole Progress yes ..... dis one had tuh be ah tribute tuh
dat bad ass song by King Austin .....
NO. 12 - Ultimate??? .... (Note de ultimate in idiocy on de shoulder)
NO. 13 - Yes we know ..... and thanks for giving us a gentle reminder every time
we're stuck in traffic behind you!
NO. 14 - I not even gonna try tuh understand this one ...... I lorse!
NO. 15 - Wicked People ...... they're everywhere now ..... so why put dat shit
on yuh car too?
NO. 16 - Black ..... AND ..... Gifted ..... you go brutha!
NO. 17 - These ones does get meh ..... cuz I feel ....... dat people does feel .....
dat if dey put God ting on dey car ..... dat God go like dem ..... an' he go protect
dem from harm on de road ..... yes ..... dese does be tryin tuh tief God head!
NO. 18 - After God? ...... too bad de car wasn't 'After God' too ......
NO. 19 - This is precisely the point I've been trying to make throughout this
entire post ..... WHAT?
NO. 20 - An' oh gorm ...... last and best ...... look at patriotism nah ..... dis is my
favourite 'crap on cars' pic ...... cuz dis ah could understand ...... it like ah driving
flag ...... an' yuh know ah like meh red, black and white ..... but dat said ...... I still
wasn't doin DAT shit tuh MY car tho!
PS: ..... ah cyah wait fuh de Eminem backlash ..... from last night's MTV Movie Awards ..... I real laugh ..... oh ..... and checkout Afro Chic fuh yuh 'I am Legend II' review .... ah so mad ah didn't go eh!
in my years on the road is dem people who have god on dey car i does fear d most... dem does usually be the worst offenders...
Reply to this
LoL at these cars! Especially Ms./Mr. "greatful" and "Injection #2". I used to see cars similar to these when I was back home. I don't see many like them here in nyc. I kinna miss seeing them...comic relief indeed!!
Re: Eminem...I missed it, but I saw the video clip. I heard that it was all staged for the camera. But why though? His album isn't getting too many good reviews. I guess he had to get some publicity going...and he got it!
Reply to this
Ohhh, I was hoping you went to I am Legend II yuh nuh! I was looking forward to review from you LoL!
Reply to this
I have been noticing those bullet hole stickers and I am sure none of these drivers ever had their car shot at. However, it makes a statement which says, "I have the mentality of a 9-year old."
The praying hand sticker on a car is no guarantee the driver won't tailgate. Maybe tailgaters need to pray more.
Licensing Officers have been making people scrape off these car-statement stickers on windscreens and It doesn't matter what if the sticker says God or the Prime Minister
Reply to this
What gets me is when I see a woman, supposedly the girlfriend, riding in the passenger seat of a car with a big picture of Calvin pissing, or Calvin with a gun and smoking a joint or scantily clad woman on her all-fours and worse. I mean, if he could put a nasty piece of crap like that on the old car, imagine what he want to 'put on you'. How they's get women to even come close to their car?
If I had daughters, no man coming to take her anywhere with that kinda stupiness on his car. Come to think of it, he better pull up his pants and bathe too. Thank god I have boys only.
coffeedude
Reply to this
Crap on cars, so unnecessary. Yuh should come down south; is ah different breed down there...starting with ..."Drive it like yuh thief it".
Reply to this
I saw pic# 2 up close once and it actually is a golf ball that's supposedly left the course and crashed into the whoever it may be's vehicle! I too really do not see the point of deliberately putting that crap on your vehicle, but to each his own. I hope that your part 2 includes Maxi Taxi's and all the ridiculous crap being spewed at the public on their back glasses.Don't get me wrong, some have positive messages but the majority of these perps should be made to scrape that crap off by the Licensing Officers!
Anyhow,keep up the good work!
Reply to this
Aye wendymediumxl ..... Welcome tuh de scene
...... I'm gonna go look at dat pic right now ...... cuz I swear dat ting is ah egg!!!
Reply to this
Ah. I see I have to sen' yuh some pictures from Grenada! Is not jus' stupid windscreen messages - is de whole ride pimpin' dat outta control!
Reply to this
Aye YingYang ..... Welcome tuh de scene
Reply to this
buh wait ...... I jus realise dat you been on da scene before ...... clearly I'm still hungover from last nite!
Reply to this
Lol @ what people do put on their cars. over here you see a lot of "Baby on Board", like anybody is going to be extra cautious because of that.
The bulletholes are a mess, I would gess it's some wanna be gangster driving a car like that..
Like Bandi, I am not to trusting in those "blessed" drivers.BTW, I have nothing on my car but dirt.
Reply to this