Fake, unsafe SAFETY MATCHES!?
So TSTT advised dat it would take 3 - 4 days fuh ah Tech tuh come check meh ..... and you know is really de 4 days dey take (i.e. 4 working days and 7 days altogether) ..... but ah must say ..... Mr. Man was very efficient ..... and very knowledgeable ..... and very Trini ...... he come an' fix de ting in two-twos ..... so why ..... oh why ..... it is TSTT have odda people doin dey help desk wuk ..... Why? ...... put ah hand on TSTT Lord!!!
Anyway ..... wit no internet fuh ah whole 7 days ..... ah was able tuh indulge in other forms of nothingness ..... like readin papers ..... and of course ..... as usual ..... it had nuff ting dat ah wanted tuh jump orn here and crap on ...... like COUNTERFEIT MATCHES!!!
Now I know ..... dat somebody muzbe done deal wit dis issue ahready eh ..... but is since Saturday I waiting tuh spew ..... cuz there I was readin papers ...... when ah bounce up ah picture of two box ah 3 plumes matches ..... right next tuh ah whole article ..... about how it have fake matches in circulation ..... dat come out just over 3 months ago! ..... now meh first reaction ..... was a hearty laugh ..... cuz first tuh begin ..... witout even gettin up tuh go eeeen de kitchen ..... tuh check mine ...... I had done smell ah rat ..... cuz from jus lookin at de picture (below) ...... de counterfeit one is de one I recognised ..... it was very familiar ..... it was as tho I had seen it in my cupboard before ..... den de next ting I just couldn't understand ...... is why anybody would chose MATCHES of all things .... tuh COUNTERFEIT!!! ...... how much profit it really have in dat ...... why dey didn't jus counterfeit some money instead ...... if is fake ting dey into ...... cuz dey coulda easily use de red ink (dat dey use fuh de 3 plumes) ..... tuh make $1 bills .... and den who exactly discovered this travesty!!??
Dis pic is from de Guardian ..... de one wit de tick is de real shit ...... and
de one wit de X is de fake shit ..... altho I find dat de fake shit better
lookin dan de real shit ..... look how ugly de legit box is!
Anyway ..... so dat was Saturday ..... A A ...... de next day now (i.e. Sunday) ....... I gorn tuh make some scramble egg ...... and when ah turn de knob ..... tuh light de burner ...... SALT ....... no fire ..... but I eh dig nuttin ...... ah say muzbe de pilot light thingy gorn tru ...... so ah pull out meh matches ...... 3 plumes of course (cuz like it eh have no odda brand of matches in Trini) ..... and the horror ...... you know I was right ..... I was in fact in possession of said counterfeit matches ...... but how could that be I thought ...... cuz dem matches dey about 2 years now ...... and de newspaper report say dat dey jus come out only bout 3 months ago!
Suddenly I began to see the light ...... cuz over the years ..... I just knew that something was different with those boxes of matches ...... the box was just too yellow ...... the 3 plumes was just too red ...... even de sulphur head on de matches was also a lil too red (and not the dark brown I'd grown accustomed to) ...... then there was the scratchpad ...... which would never seem tuh wear down ..... and would often cause the match to ignite whenever I scratched it ..... and that pungent sulphur smell whenever I struck ah match ...... ewwwww ...... and the afterglow ..... ah yes ..... the afterglow of successfully lighting a match ..... ooops ..... ah mean de hazardous kinda afterglow ..... oh ..... and that menacing single border ...... and the address ...... I shoulda known that that 69 Independence Square was bogus ..... and that the real address is really 11 Maraval Road ...... cuz I do read the addresses on all the products I buy ...... so I'm supposed tuh know where shit is made in TnT! ..... and ..... in case yuh didn't pick up on my idiocy ...... what ah tryin tuh say is ...... who de arse woulda really know dat de matches fake ..... cuz dey workin jus like de real ting ...... I never had ah problem wit dem ......
Now ah know allyuh muzbe doh believe dat ah really have de fake ones eh ..... especially since de Express say dat dey went lookin fuh dem ..... and dey cyah find none! ...... so jus tuh prove dat dem ting around long time ...... ah pull out meh 4 remainin boxes (cuz yuh know dey does come in ah 10 pack - ah tink) ...... ah trow dem in meh handbag ..... an' ah jump in meh car ...... tuh head tuh meh fren house ...... tuh use her camera ..... tuh take pics ..... as evidence (fuh both you and de Express) ...... only tuh discover a bigger horror when ah reach her house ...... she had dem too ..... but de big-ass box ...... yes ..... and if I feel I have mine about 2 years ..... den she say she have hers about 4 years ...... yuh see ..... is years dem counterfeit matches lightin up people life in Trini ...... not no 3 months!!! ..... tuh tell yuh de trute ..... I doh tink I ever see de real ting!
De big maco box dat lookin like is more like 6 years old (and not 4)
is meh fren own ...... and de 4 small ones is mine .....
But ..... now that I been clued in ..... I will proceed with caution ..... cuz I eh trowin way mine ..... cuz as far as I see ...... nuttin eh wrong with dem ....... ANSA Mc Al jus vex dat dey get punked da'is all ....... and rightly so ..... altho I think they shoulda be happy dat somebody thought their matches was worthy of piratin ..... anyway kudos tuh Ansa Mc Al's Group Corporate Communications Manager ..... Mrs. Nicole Dyer-Griffith ..... fuh shedding the light so eloquently and expeditiously .... on this very risky and potentially dangerous situation ..... twas very characteristic of a former Miss Trinidad and Tobago ...... and of the spouse of an equally eloquent human ....... Captain Gary Griffith ..... yes ...... that humble man who put out an ad in the newspaper ..... to pat himself on the back ..... fuh gettin de security contract fuh de West Indies team in de current Twenty/20 Tournament ...... STEUPS ...... anyway ...... I gorn ..... leh meh save some shit fuh another day ......
PS: ...... an' talkin bout cricket ..... what a match dat was against England ..... poor England!
Anyway ..... wit no internet fuh ah whole 7 days ..... ah was able tuh indulge in other forms of nothingness ..... like readin papers ..... and of course ..... as usual ..... it had nuff ting dat ah wanted tuh jump orn here and crap on ...... like COUNTERFEIT MATCHES!!!
Now I know ..... dat somebody muzbe done deal wit dis issue ahready eh ..... but is since Saturday I waiting tuh spew ..... cuz there I was readin papers ...... when ah bounce up ah picture of two box ah 3 plumes matches ..... right next tuh ah whole article ..... about how it have fake matches in circulation ..... dat come out just over 3 months ago! ..... now meh first reaction ..... was a hearty laugh ..... cuz first tuh begin ..... witout even gettin up tuh go eeeen de kitchen ..... tuh check mine ...... I had done smell ah rat ..... cuz from jus lookin at de picture (below) ...... de counterfeit one is de one I recognised ..... it was very familiar ..... it was as tho I had seen it in my cupboard before ..... den de next ting I just couldn't understand ...... is why anybody would chose MATCHES of all things .... tuh COUNTERFEIT!!! ...... how much profit it really have in dat ...... why dey didn't jus counterfeit some money instead ...... if is fake ting dey into ...... cuz dey coulda easily use de red ink (dat dey use fuh de 3 plumes) ..... tuh make $1 bills .... and den who exactly discovered this travesty!!??
Dis pic is from de Guardian ..... de one wit de tick is de real shit ...... and
de one wit de X is de fake shit ..... altho I find dat de fake shit better
lookin dan de real shit ..... look how ugly de legit box is!
Anyway ..... so dat was Saturday ..... A A ...... de next day now (i.e. Sunday) ....... I gorn tuh make some scramble egg ...... and when ah turn de knob ..... tuh light de burner ...... SALT ....... no fire ..... but I eh dig nuttin ...... ah say muzbe de pilot light thingy gorn tru ...... so ah pull out meh matches ...... 3 plumes of course (cuz like it eh have no odda brand of matches in Trini) ..... and the horror ...... you know I was right ..... I was in fact in possession of said counterfeit matches ...... but how could that be I thought ...... cuz dem matches dey about 2 years now ...... and de newspaper report say dat dey jus come out only bout 3 months ago!
Suddenly I began to see the light ...... cuz over the years ..... I just knew that something was different with those boxes of matches ...... the box was just too yellow ...... the 3 plumes was just too red ...... even de sulphur head on de matches was also a lil too red (and not the dark brown I'd grown accustomed to) ...... then there was the scratchpad ...... which would never seem tuh wear down ..... and would often cause the match to ignite whenever I scratched it ..... and that pungent sulphur smell whenever I struck ah match ...... ewwwww ...... and the afterglow ..... ah yes ..... the afterglow of successfully lighting a match ..... ooops ..... ah mean de hazardous kinda afterglow ..... oh ..... and that menacing single border ...... and the address ...... I shoulda known that that 69 Independence Square was bogus ..... and that the real address is really 11 Maraval Road ...... cuz I do read the addresses on all the products I buy ...... so I'm supposed tuh know where shit is made in TnT! ..... and ..... in case yuh didn't pick up on my idiocy ...... what ah tryin tuh say is ...... who de arse woulda really know dat de matches fake ..... cuz dey workin jus like de real ting ...... I never had ah problem wit dem ......
Now ah know allyuh muzbe doh believe dat ah really have de fake ones eh ..... especially since de Express say dat dey went lookin fuh dem ..... and dey cyah find none! ...... so jus tuh prove dat dem ting around long time ...... ah pull out meh 4 remainin boxes (cuz yuh know dey does come in ah 10 pack - ah tink) ...... ah trow dem in meh handbag ..... an' ah jump in meh car ...... tuh head tuh meh fren house ...... tuh use her camera ..... tuh take pics ..... as evidence (fuh both you and de Express) ...... only tuh discover a bigger horror when ah reach her house ...... she had dem too ..... but de big-ass box ...... yes ..... and if I feel I have mine about 2 years ..... den she say she have hers about 4 years ...... yuh see ..... is years dem counterfeit matches lightin up people life in Trini ...... not no 3 months!!! ..... tuh tell yuh de trute ..... I doh tink I ever see de real ting!
De big maco box dat lookin like is more like 6 years old (and not 4)
is meh fren own ...... and de 4 small ones is mine .....
But ..... now that I been clued in ..... I will proceed with caution ..... cuz I eh trowin way mine ..... cuz as far as I see ...... nuttin eh wrong with dem ....... ANSA Mc Al jus vex dat dey get punked da'is all ....... and rightly so ..... altho I think they shoulda be happy dat somebody thought their matches was worthy of piratin ..... anyway kudos tuh Ansa Mc Al's Group Corporate Communications Manager ..... Mrs. Nicole Dyer-Griffith ..... fuh shedding the light so eloquently and expeditiously .... on this very risky and potentially dangerous situation ..... twas very characteristic of a former Miss Trinidad and Tobago ...... and of the spouse of an equally eloquent human ....... Captain Gary Griffith ..... yes ...... that humble man who put out an ad in the newspaper ..... to pat himself on the back ..... fuh gettin de security contract fuh de West Indies team in de current Twenty/20 Tournament ...... STEUPS ...... anyway ...... I gorn ..... leh meh save some shit fuh another day ......
PS: ...... an' talkin bout cricket ..... what a match dat was against England ..... poor England!
Oh so dat is what dat article ah didn't bodder tuh read was about.. Fake matches! Anyway tuh me if someting fake it cyar do de job of de real ting and since is by you all de supposed 'fake' matches is all dis time den de onlyest ting dat fake is de label, not so? Or maybe de 'real ones' is really de fake real ones eef dey eh know dat de fake fake ones getting sell for more dan 2 years now and probably outselling de real real ones.
IS dat de same Capt. Gary Griffith who do some shit fuh UNC in he regiment uniform when he wasn't ah soldier no more and piss orf de people running de Regiment? All I go say is some tings ah man cyar wait fuh udders tuh blow fuh him and fuh ex yes EX, ex Capt. Gary Griffith he cyar wait tuh blow he own horn.
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Ah have tuh go in de grocery today ....... so yuh know ah goin and check fuh matches ..... ah jus have tuh see if de fake ones still out on de shelves ..... and yes ..... is de same CAPTAIN Gary Griffith!
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Ah surprise dat yuh ent pick up wid de "green" verb in D Captain Gary Griffith AD. It should be "congratulate" since is a plural subject in "The Board and Staff"
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Hugh boy ..... me eh even study all dat ...... all I was seein was pomposity ......
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The fake one is the real one; because I have never seen any other kind of Three Plumes box in my life.
4 years?
How about 15 years!
It took Ansa McAl so long to realize this? I'd say that was a working counterfeit because not only does it have greater market share than the real one but nobody will even care about the real one going forward despite the expose.
How's tha for Trini boldness.
Lol at you and reading the addresses though! You have real free time to shop...
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boy you mad or what ..... I doh read no addresses ...... I was bein stupid
but seriously tho ...... there's more to this story ...... and I think they should launch a full investigation ..... cuz two and two jus not makin four ....... cuz you cyah tell me dat Ansa Mcal now find out bout dem supposed bogus matches ...... and doh tell meh too ...... dat dey find out ..... cuz citizens was callin dem and complainin bout de inferior quality ..... cuz what did said citizens use as dey benchmark ..... and who de arse really pickin up ah phone tuh call tuh complain about matches?! ..... and den de next ting ...... you want tuh tell me ..... dat dey didn't realise dat dey sales was droppin ...... now if dey had say that that is how dey bounce up de bogusness ....... ah woulda more believe dem ..... but doh tell meh people was callin yuh and complainin ...... cuz altho Trinis love tuh complain ..... it eh go be about no matches .... de govt yes ..... de crime yes ..... de Soca Warriors yes .... but not no bloody matches!
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I do not think that these are fake matches, they appear to be older boxes with a different type of branding, pre-current boxes.
In fact, those boxes, "the fake ones" look like the boxes I remember when I left trinidad 7 yrs ago.
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I really doh know what is what ...... all I know ..... is dat my 4 box ah matches ..... dat I've had for a very long time ..... all have the telltale marks (and no watermarks) of the so-called bogus matches ..... and bogus or not ...... dey workin real good ...... as ah say ..... I doh tink I ever see de odda box in real ...... cuz tuh me ..... I always remember 3 plumes matches havin dat border on de box ...... which is something that's not on the supposed genuine box ......
whatever ...... do people really buy matches anyway ...... I sure de boxes yuh left 7 years ago ...... still in de cupboard!
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I have the REAL matches in my cupboard.
They newish I would say...I bought them about a year ago.
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good fuh you Afro ..... I'll be right dey wit yuh ...... in about 3 years time ...... when meh 4 remainin boxes finally finish ......
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I was jus bout to say I never seen them so called "real matches" all my life is the fake one I accustom to.
But hear nah I hear from good sources Ansa playin up years now wit d Swinger matches and three plumes, they are both the same jus in diff boxes n ppl swear one is better than the other, sources say is d same damn matches Ansa packagin in diff boxes. lol
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Jan ..... I so doh doubt dat ...... is like ah time ..... I put WASA tap water in ah 'bottled water' water bottle ..... and de idiot who ah give to tuh drink ..... was none de wiser ..... bamboozling is ah Trini's forte ......
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Yuh internet fix! Yay! I was here checking yuh blog everyday for updates eh!
This post made me laugh...lawks who came up with the idea to counterfeit matches. Looks like they're making more profit than the real business owners, as everyone seems to have the fakey one in their possession!
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gyul ...... dis story so ridiculous ..... dat right now ..... all I studyin is ...... suppose my TSTT BLINK high speed internet access box COUNTERFEIT too ..... cuz de amount ah time dat shit wack out!
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Dump them for FLOW gyul! I hear even Green Dot is better.
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Ah realise dat gyirl. But when yuh want to be pompous, yuh must have all yuh ducks in a row.
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as i come in late all i go do is sa PHI-UHR...
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boy ..... you know how long it take me ...... tuh figure out dat ....... PHI-UHR ..... is fire!
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This is funny, amazing what people think of. Makes you wonder what else is counterfit, might be our toiletpaper. God I have not seen or used matches in about 20 years.
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Well gyul ...... jus dis morning ah was readin ah report in de Newsday ..... on counterfeit shit ....... and Christmas tree lights was one ..... hmmmm ..... really makes you wonder what else fuh tru .....
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Wait...how much is a box of matches again? Not something like 75 cents? It have profit in counterfeiting that? Christmas lights I could understand, but really, matches?
And I had to check my matches too - it's the legitimate ones
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I have no idea how much fuh ah box ah match ...... and yeah ..... I cyah see how yuh could make money off of dat at all ...... what a waste of counterfeitin skills and knowledge
.....
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It was bad enough that the price of oil and gas headed for the floor but the counterfeit matches thing was the straw which broke the citizens' back. How much more we goe take!
check out http://akalol.wordpress.com/2009/06/13/three-plumes-matches-falls-for-flattery/
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LOL ..... ah now tryin tuh ketch up on what ah miss out on ..... off tuh this beach called life ......
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Before I forget, The Captain Gary Griffith thing looked like a joke couldn't stop laughing. This man serious?
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I know .... I real laugh too ...... what a narcissist!
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I can't believe that this is still in de papers ..... yep ..... today's Express ...... June 29 .....
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