These days ......ah feelin real tired ...... and drained ...... so leh meh jus jump right into dis one ..... an' doh mind if it write lil chupid ...... jus read between de lines


WITCO ONE FETE (All Inclusive)
Saturday, January 16, 2010

I doh even know why I botherin tuh include dis party in dis post ...... cuz dis party happen since last month .......

Fren (aka Ticketmaster) who does get de link fuh everyting ..... text meh on Saturday morning self ...... at 8:00 am ...... tuh say dat we eeeeeen ...... how she do dat ..... I doh know ....... anyway ...... dis is ah party she woulda try extra hard wit ....... cuz she does feel ..... dat because ONE is ah party ...... dat does trow around de same time as my birthday ...... is ah party ...... dat I must go to ...... so this year was year number 2 fuh me ....... an' I eh sure if it go have ah year number 3 ..... no vibes!!!

De party was in de Oval ...... and surprisingly ..... dey organise COMPLIMENTARY parking in King George V ...... so tings start off nice ..... ah reach down about 7:30 pm ...... which in de scheme of tings ..... is kyna late fuh ah all-inclusive ....... de place was very nicely decorated in red and white ..... wit ah big-ass sign at de entrance sayin ...... DE MINISTRY OF HEALTH SAY SMOKIN IS BAD FUH YUH HEALTH BLAH, BLAH, BLAH ...... anyway ...... so as we reach inside de party now ....... phototakeouters start tuh jumbie we ..... so we pause fuh de cause ...... but den after all de flash ...... I realise like we still posin ..... only tuh find out dat we actually waiting on somebody else tuh reach ...... and mind you ...... de posse was already 6 strong!

We end up ...... standin up ...... by de entrance ...... fuh about half hour ...... jus posin ..... no drink in hand ...... no food in mout ..... no smokes in sight!!!

So de last two stragglers of de crew finally reach ...... and everybody decide dat dey want tuh eat first ...... so was off tuh de food section ...... and I must say ..... there was a very wide selection ...... doh really remember exactly what tho ...... ah jus know ...... it had real tent wit food ...... I had the chicken kebabs ..... crab and shrimp and dumpling ..... and geera pork ...... an' oh gorm ..... when ah tell yuh it was delish ...... I coulda stuff my belly whole nite ..... and I am not a person who does eat in party eh ...... is only because ah had nuttin better tuh do while everybody else was eatin ..... dat ah decide tuh try a few tings ...... which was a good decision ...... cuz it turns out ...... the free parking ....... and the scrumptious food ....... were the only two highlights of my ONE Fete 2010 experience ......

De party had real people ...... and at $750 ah ticket ..... I doh know how all dem people coulda afford dat ...... economic crisis or not ...... Beyonce or not ...... apparently Carnival will go on!! ...... and altho plenty people was there ...... yuh coulda still walk around and gape an' ting ..... it wasn't too jam session-ish ...... however ...... de bar needed help ..... I say maybe dey was tryin tuh help out people ..... wit dah whole breathalyzer scene ..... cuz drinks was takin real long tuh leave de bar ..... and reach in yuh hand!!!

Then there were the bands ...... about three ...... Dil-E-Nadan (I think) ...... who sing some real long time soca (*yawn*) ...... den ah tink Kes was next ...... wit his usual striptease act ...... which was overshadowed by performances by ..... Shal Marshall and Sidekick ...... and JW and Blaze ...... who by the way ..... seem tuh be de only artistes who actually livenin up party ..... oh .... ah tink Talparee sing wit dem too ...... or maybe he sang wit Faye-Ann and Bunji (*yawn*) ...... who were overshadowed too ....... by her dad ..... yeah ...... cuz all I remember from their session ...... is Super Blue gracing us with his presence ...... an' singin song like Ethel an' ting ....... we leave de party before dey done ........ cuz is not like we just had tuh stay til de end of their 'scintillating' performance ....... bands so doh phase me in ah party eh ......

Until ah went .......



LADIES FIRST
Friday, January 29, 2010

Ladies First is not a party dat I does run down ...... cuz it is generally ah dotish lil chirren party ..... de only reason I been goin tuh Ladies First ...... is because it FREE .......

And when ah say FREE ..... ah mean yuh have tuh be one of de 'lucky' 2,000 ladies ...... tuh actually get de FREE ticket ..... den yuh have tuh reach de party before 10:30 pm ...... tuh get eeeeeen FREE! ....... steups ..... is jus too much shit!!!

Anyway ...... so wit free tickets sourced (by Ticketmaster) ...... we plan dat we leavin home about 9:00 pm ...... in order tuh reach down in good time ..... tuh avail of de 'before 10:30 pm' freeness ...... so at 8:43 pm ...... I call fren jus tuh firm up arrangements ..... only tuh find out dat she done leave home ahready tuh go meet de ress ah dem ...... yikes!!!! ...... wit dah one now ....... I fly eeeen de shower and start tuh get ready like ah mad woman ...... cuz was done minutes tuh 9 ...... and de plan was fuh everybody tuh leave dey house by 9:00 pm .....

One hour and 25 minutes later ...... I was now leaving my house ..... yes ...... apparently at 9:00 pm ...... some of de posse was now startin dey makeup ..... so I had tuh wait ...... in my hot house ..... dat eh have no AC ...... fuh ah whole blasted hour and 25 minutes ..... wit MY makeup now sweatin ...... while dem own now goin orn fresh ...... den on top ah dat ...... fren would call me tuh tell me ...... dat dey leavin Cascade jus now ...... so drive out de road in about 5 minutes ........ and wait out de road fuh dem ...... Grrrrrrrr???? ...... needless tuh say ...... ah had was tuh buss two cuss ...... cuz was she out of her mind ...... why would I ..... a female ..... jump in my car ...... drive out tuh de Western Main Road (by Westmoorings) ...... and just sit there ...... in my car ..... by myself ....... in de nite ...... in de dark ...... IN TRINIDAD!!!????

Anyway ...... long story short ...... we reach down Pier 1 late ...... and again had tuh wait ...... cuz of course ..... at dat time ..... we figure ..... is no way we was gettin eeeeeen (FREE) ..... so we end up waitin and walkin eeeeeen wit ah VVVIP (as backup) ..... but turns out ...... dey were still accepting de tickets at minutes tuh 11 ..... but de lil VIP pips was still cool tho ...... cuz da'is exactly where we end up ...... in VIP ..... everybody get ah band slap on de hand!

Now last year ...... fuh me ..... Ladies First was de biggest setta crap ..... but fuh some unknown reason ...... I actually enjoyed it this year ..... maybe it was the VIP pips ..... maybe it was my hottttt little red dress ...... maybe it was de CRAZY ASS BREEZE blowin whole nite ...... dat was assaulting my big hair ..... and my lady-in-red dress ..... remember dat scene from dat movie or whatever ..... where the lady in red was standin over a manhole or sumtin ..... and her dress blow up ..... well HELLO ..... dat was me in Ladies First ..... I never experience wind like dat before in Pier 1 ...... dat was de most windy party I've ever been to in dat venue ..... and altho it kept de place nice an' cool (not hot like it normally is) ...... I was goin real crazy tryin tuh keep dat dress down wit one hand ...... while tryin tuh keep my hair outta my face with my other hand!!!

Anyway .... so as ah say ..... we was in de VIP ..... which was upstairs ..... so yuh coulda see everyting real good ..... from up there .... de party look real ram ..... so I was kinda glad dat I was where de air was rare ..... cuz other than being away from all de tizzickness ..... it was also a good vantage point ..... tuh take eeeeen ..... KARMA ..... the first band fuh de nite ....... and WOW ...... dey coulda easily been de only band ...... cuz they were da bomb ...... after dem ...... I didn't really bound tuh see nobody else ..... Karma real mash up de dance ...... which surprised me ..... cuz I never knew a chutney band could be pleasing to the ears ...... tho a few times we kinda forgot dat we was in ah carnival fete eh ..... cuz dey was singin all kyna odda songs like Black Eye Peas an' ting ...... but lawdy ...... de band was real good ....... as a matter of fact ...... it was my first time seeing them perform ...... and they were actually the first band this year ..... to hold my attention ...... da'is tuh tell yuh how good they were ...... about half hour after dey done perform ...... ah see Ravi B in de VIP ...... and in true groupie style ...... ah tackle him ...... ah tell him "RAVI BOY - ALLYUH IS MY BAND OF DE YEAR BORSE" ...... to which he gave me his signature grin ...... little did I know dat one week later ..... he would be crowned the Chutney Soca Monarch 2010 (Congrats Ravi B!) .......

So yeah ..... dat was Ladies First fuh me ..... after Karma was Kes ..... nothing memorable there ..... and den was Fay-Ann and Bunji .... who bring orn some dude called Swappi or sumtin like dat ...... ah doh really remember de name ...... but whoever he is ...... he MASH UP ...... actually he two winer gyuls mash up ...... if you see dem two gyuls palance ...... de man get about 3 encore ...... JW and Blaze didn't want nuttin wit he!

We leave de party while Faye-Ann and Bunji was on (hmmmm seems tuh be de trend) ....... there were no Police outside ....... no breathalyzer ...... no traffic ...... I was home by 3:30 am ......



PANORAMA SEMIs
Sunday, January 31, 2010

Ahhhhh ..... what can I say about Panorama Semis ....... that I have not already said  ......

This year ..... fuh me ....... Panorama was like deja vu ...... wit a touch of peek-a-boo ....... cuz it was like everybody I was suppose tuh meet up wit ...... was hidin!!!

At 2:00 pm ..... on Sunday self ...... Ticketmaster call tuh say dat she eeeeen ..... an' she handle meh ...... so come down ......

Not being no Pan lover ..... I take my cool time ..... and by 4:50 pm I was making my way into the Savannah via de eastern entrance ..... which is ah entrance I never really use before ...... and probably will not use again ..... cuz if you see big drain and canal an' ting ...... yes ...... in de middle of de blasted Savannah ..... is ah good ting ah didn't decide tuh prime up from home ..... cuz I woulda easily end up in one ah dem ting ...... anyway ...... all's well dat ends well ..... cuz after drivin around in phenomenal dust ...... I eventually got a very nice park ...... very near the entrance .....

So as you've probably figured out by now ..... ah went by mehself ...... which is someting I doh like tuh do at all ..... ah will drive by mehself ..... but ah doh like tuh walk eeeeeen ting by mehself tuh look like no poor-me-one ...... so while ah walkin towards de entrance ....... ah text fren tuh say dat ah reach ...... jus so ah wouldn't have tuh fal too long outside ..... cuz yuh know when yuh outside party an' ting ..... it does have real falcons and scalpers ...... but was ah cool scene ...... cuz she reach by de entrance real quick and give meh de ticket real easy ...... so ..... so far ...... everyting was goin smooth ...... next on de agenda ..... was tuh join de long-ass line tuh go eeeeeeen ......

Reach inside now ..... just a few minutes later ..... cuz de line wasn't stickin ..... only tuh realise dat fren is nowhere tuh be seen ....... yes ..... fren like she clean forget me and went she way ..... so ah pull out meh phone now ...... an' ah text her ...... an' ah get some dotish message like MESSAGE NOT SENT or UNABLE TO SEND ...... so den ah try tuh call her ...... an' ah get ....... CALL FAILED ...... steups ....... bmobile was again  @#$%^&-up  an otherwise good scene ...... anyway ..... so there I was ...... cyah get tru tuh nobody .... walkin around Pan ..... by myself ....... bouncin up all kyna misc people ....... and gettin drinks from said misc people ....... cuz EVERYBODY had ah bar ...... until ah eventually find de UTC tent ..... which is where she was supposed tuh be ...... and which coincidentally was very near the entrance!

Well ..... I stan up dey fuh muzbe ah hour ..... hangin wit ah next fren dat ah bounce up ...... ah was dey so long ...... dat ah even end up doin ah lil small interview wit dem Trinijunglejuice people (shame ah hopin dey delete it cuz by den I had already had two scotch!!) .......

Long and short of dis Pan story is ....... I went Pan ...... I was lost most of the time ..... my cellphone was givin real trouble ..... could not connect with anyone ....... saw people I had not seen since last year ....... never found Ticketmaster ..... spent some time outside (limin wit 5 man I don't know) while waiting on a friend tuh walk around from de Grand Stand side ...... went back inside ..... still eh find Ticketmaster ...... walk around lil bit more ....... drink lil bit more ...... gape lil bit more more ....... LEFT!

Ah get out de Savannah real easy (unlike last year) ...... and again ..... it didn't have no Police nowhere ....... no breathalyzer ....... no traffic ...... I went home ....... bathe off ...... eat ...... and cock up an' watch de Grammys .......

It was as if Michael Jackson had just died ...... ah cry ...... that tribute was just so touching!!!


PS:  ...... why de heck do people go Panorama?