People too boldfaced ...
Lawd ..... ah givin Kim Boodram (from de Express) ..... de "Article of de Week" award fuh dah one ...... cuz WOW ...... de gyul talk about EVERYTHING most of us does be feelin ...... but jus cyah say weself .....
I readin de ting Saturday ..... and tinkin ...... heck shit ...... DIS IS MY LIFE!!!!
Right now ...... I lookin tuh blindcopy dat shit tuh some peeps ...... and just head it ..... WHO DE CAP FIT!
People too boldfaced
Kim Boodram
Saturday, March 13th 2010
I’m starting to fear being nice to people.
Because in no time at all, they want your soul.
Really.
Don’t some of us ever stop to think whether we’re asking too much of the people around us?
The second you show kindness to some people, or are too laid back with them, they just come out to take advantage of you.
Makes me understand why some of us are so cagey and reserved.
Sure, we think people who keep to themselves are snobbish and rude. But maybe they are afraid, too. Afraid that as soon as they let their guard down the vampires will fall on them.
I really enjoy giving to and interacting with others but for some time now I have felt burdened by how much people want. They always want more. I can feel some of you nodding your heads.
If you’re like me you may also wonder how it is that people can be so bold-faced and so unashamedly greedy. And it happens repeatedly.
Being a little ray of sunshine, I am also generally polite.
With people I see on a regular basis, this inadvertently evolves.
Next thing you know, ’good morning’ turns into a short conversations.
One day not too long after, you make the mistake of asking how the person is doing and because they have been setting for you all this time, suddenly you get the whole story of their health, their family issues, their job issues... and you spend time listening and giving advice because, you do care.
But in no time, they’ll ask you for something.
It usually starts with little favours, then bigger favours, then money.
You start to dread having to encounter this person because every time you do, it’s as though their eyes are hungrier than before.You swear one day they’ll calmly ask, ’Umm, lemme just borrow your soul, nah.’
How is it that some people are always so needy?
And when they don’t get everything they want from you, it means you are a bad person.
I feel it may be worse for people like me, who, because of a lack of husband and children, are perceived as having nothing to do with our time, money and energy.
People have actually asked me, ’But what you have to do so? You don’t have any children,’ after I’ve declined to do some favour or another. Those of you who feel the same way I do will also agree that when you give, you don’t really want anything in return.
But you don’t want to be sucked dry either and you can’t help but notice that if the odd occasion might arise where you need something, people are never able to help. You know why?
Because you’ve been suckered.
I feel this sort of thing will always happen to me to some degree because I am a born sap.This is despite the fact that I know that most of the people who hit me up always have more money in the bank than I do.
It took me a while but I’ve finally figured out that when they say they’ve run out of money, they mean they’ve run out of the spending money they set aside from their savings.
Now they want yours, while theirs sits safely in the bank.
Ever notice how those ’scrunting’ friends always seem to have stuff you don’t?
It’s because they spend your money on food and entertainment and their money on car, cellphone, clothes, jewelry, house savings etc.
I’m certain there are people reading this and shaking their heads in understanding but are the very perpetrators of whom we speak.
If that’s you, take heed.
Stop being so bold-faced.
There are a lot of people out there who genuinely need help and you’re taking that from them by scaring good folk.
Sometimes we ask too much emotionally, as well, without realising how much we can tire others out.
Some friends always have drama and always need an ear and advice.
Exhausting! By the time you’re done dealing with everyone else’s problems, you don’t have the patience and energy to cope with your own.
Look, being nice is nice but enough is enough.
There are too many people around me who want to let the inner nice out but are afraid they’ll regret it.
The world needs more generosity and understanding, so let it out if you have it.
You’ll probably get caught a few times until you learn. Unless you are hopeless like me.
Oh, and family, unfortunately, has special licence to squeeze you more than everybody else.
If you like to take advantage of people, I feel you should take stock and admit it to yourself.
Then you’ll probably feel embarrassed and slow it down.
You’ll probably also be surprised to see that suddenly, you’re receiving much more than you used to ask for.
Love dis article.... On point.....
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Ouch! I feel this...
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"I feel it may be worse for people like me, who, because of a lack of husband and children, are perceived as having nothing to do with our time, money and energy."
LOVE IT!!! I can relate 100%...It's funny that the same people who "never have" always want to tell you what to do with yours. If they know so much, why do they need from others???
GREAT ARTICLE!!!
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I had 2 bad experiences years ago (one being my ex and his family). You live and learn tough. There is no room for boldfaced people in my life. If anybody (friends or family) would try something like that with me now, I'll cut them out of my life in a flash!
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This is sore point for me so forgive me if I rant. I certainly agree about the part about not having children and a husband. Co-workers have said to me “you could work late, what you have to go home and do?” Friends think that I can drive them around because I don’t have any children which equates to having nothing to do. Imagine when I tell people that one day of the week I don’t answer the phone or go anywhere because I want to watch TV in peace they get vex. Then when you spend time running behind these people who want to monopolize your time they then have the nerve to ask “why you don’t have a man?” Perhaps because I am always running behind you and your disorganized life should be the response.
Lord father then there are the craziest of them all. The ones who think you have nothing to do with your money because you are single. Woo Saa!!! I not able yes. I do not ever remember telling anybody to have sex, nor do I remember ever telling anybody to make a child for me. People go about doing their do and getting involved and almost want to punish single childless women for our life. Just like people with children I do things that could afford me the opportunity to have children, however there is something called birth control and for about seventy TT per month you could opt not to have any children. But no you don’t want to spend the seventy dollars and then want me to give you money. Forget it. I have to save my money for the old age home that I will have to pay for while your children would be taking care of you in your old age hopefully.
Sorry for ranting but this type of nonsense pisses me off.
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Oh gorm Trinidad Lover ..... dat article real touch yuh gyul ..... yuh real make meh laugh .....
If I only tell you about some of my experiences .....
.... not enough time
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Dis one easy enough since i is a natural born hater. Say after me people N.O. Now I understand for the softies out there this is a big step so let me initiate you in your newfound freedom from FALCONs (okay so ah show mih age wit daT
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I feel bad saying NO ..... but I do it ..... and yuh know what ..... tuh tell yuh de boldfacity I does deal wit ...... said recipients of the NOs does still come back again mere days later ..... tuh get ah next NO ......
..... and LOL on de FALCONs ...... took me back to ONE fete .....
My friend had tuh go (tuh de ladies) ..... and I didn't ...... so I tell her I go lime outside (de ladies area) and wait fuh her ...... so there was this huge fan in de area where a few people were gathered ..... and I went and stan up in front of it too ..... and before anybody could brace meh fuh takin up space in front de fan ..... and turn an' ah tell dudes dat I eh FAL-in ...... is jus breeze ah want .......
Well gyul ..... one dude buss out laughin ...... he say is real years he eh hear dat term .....
I guess I showed my age too
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Somehow it seems that I should know and I'm sure I'll get real fire for this question but....What is FALCONS?? I'm sure it's not d bird we talking bout here.
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DamnGenius .... you eh serious?!
You suppose tuh know dat ......
in slang ...... FALCON is actually an acronym for ..... Fighting Ah Lime CONstantly ..... so it eh someting nice tuh be called .....
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LMAO. I never hear dat before.
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Hi peeps, oh gosh, yuh know how long ah wanted to comment...work in meh backside
That article is on point. Thanks Scene. I can so relate to it. Sometimes a simple good morning does lead to drama or, an act of kindness and people want tuh dig out yuh eye (remembering my experiences). I does have ah natural beast face so only de brave ones does venture. I doh smile and I doh make small talk. That is how I does operate. Been burnt too many times. At age 40... (clearing throat), I ent trying tuh go down that road at all.
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"I does have ah natural beast face so only de brave ones does venture. I doh smile and I doh make small talk."
OMG ...... that sounds just like me!
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What is ah beast face? (^_^)
And if you have one, ent dat kinda unnatural?
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Jumbie you never hear bout beast face ...... it means ....... ah sour face ...... ah serious face ....... ah don't come near me face ...... ah stay whey yuh is face ..... ah I doh make joke face ...... ah leave me alone face ......
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Scene oy, I just now reading this post. That article is on point. I can totally relate to being single and child-free and being crucified for it. The bolefaced folks think single people exist for free. Like that money (that I worked real HARD for) is just there waiting for wutless people to take. Hunny I have to eat, be sheltered and be clothed too. We's people too yuh know!
Hell, even to breathe costs 'cause if God forbid my lung collapse now it takes money to fix it and if it cyah fix and I die it takes money to bury my ass. So yes single people have things to do with their money.
Big damn steups!
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Boy .. ah read this and I had to cross post the thing on my travelogue.
I feel the same way ... too much people up in your business just to ask for a favour or something.
I have no problem with networking and what not, but doh ask meh for money unless you and I sharing blood - and even then that is questionable. lol
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If Kim only know how many people she touch wit dis article!
I even emailed it tuh peeps .... under ah kyna "WHO DE CAP FITS - WEAR IT" vibes
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