I don't get it ... and I don't want it!
I've been meaning to write about this for some time ...... cuz I just don't get it ...... Jehovah's Witnesses that is ......
Back in de day ..... when ah used tuh work in town ..... yuh was guaranteed tuh bounce up some in Woodford Square (daily) ...... tryin tuh give yuh (or sell yuh) Watchtower or Awake ..... and as if dat wasn't enough ..... on de weekend too ..... when yuh lookin tuh relax yuhself ...... dey was bound tuh come knockin on yuh door (early in de mornin) ..... and when I say 'dey' ...... I mean ...... a posse!
But ...... whatever ..... dat was all well and good ...... cuz ah guess dey hadda do what dey hadda do ...... and tuh each his own ...... at least we knew what tuh expect ...... and de option was always there ...... tuh either ..... give dem ah bligh ..... or ..... ignore dem ......
So imagine my shock ..... when ..... on October 21, 2009 (a Wednesday) ..... at exactly 10:58 am ..... my landline rings ..... and the caller ID reveals ah '633' number ...... and when I answer ..... is not one of my neighbours like I thought ..... but a Witness!!! ..... yes ..... a Witness without warning!
Now at first I didn't know was ah Witness eh ...... cuz de woman ask tuh speak tuh my daddy ...... actually ..... de convo went like dis:
JW: Hello, may I speak with Mr. Scene
ME: He's not here
(I doh really go into de whole story about how he doh live
here no more blah, blah, blah - I does jus say he eh here)
JW: So can I speak with you then?
(which tuh me was not a strange question - cuz I say de
woman want tuh leave a message fuh daddy)
ME: Sure
JW: Do you think that a Human Government can provide adequate
housing for all its citizens?
ME: GRRRRRRRRRRRR??????? ..... EH??????? ..... what yuh say??
(while thinking 'not de PNM'!!!)
JW: Do you think that a Human Government can provide adequate
housing for all its citizens???
ME: What is a HUMAN GOVERNMENT ...... it have ah nex kind?
Well wit dah one ...... de woman let out ah big ...... AHHHHHHHH ...... like as if tuh say ...... "yuh answer exactly how ah wanted yuh answer" ......
Needless tuh say ..... the conversation continued in the vein of preaching to me ...... OVER DE PHONE!!!
Then ..... in mid-preach ...... ah ketch mehself ...... cuz I start tuh study ...... how dis woman get my number ..... so ah ask her ......
ME: Ahhhmmm ..... excuse ...... how you get dis number?
JW: From the phone book
ME: EH????? ..... what yuh mean ..... you does jus sit dong whole day
wit ah phone book lookin fuh people tuh call?
JW: Yes
It was ah lil too much ..... ah couldn't believe what ah was hearin ...... so ah wrap up de call!
A A ..... about ah two weeks later now ..... knock, knock, knock ..... ah posse reach ......
Now ah know dat everybody different ..... and everybody have dey own beliefs etc ...... an' is not dat ah doh respect dat ..... is jus dat ...... I DON'T CARE ...... so as far as I concerned ...... I is one tuh leave wit meh Roman Catholic brainwashin ....... cuz yuh know what ..... I like Christmas ...... and I like Easter ..... and tho nobody does take orn meh birthday ..... I still get a gift from my mummy and daddy ..... so I still like to celebrate it ..... and heck shit ....... if my ass was in dire need of blood on some operatin table ..... I WILL want somebody else's ...... and armageddon or no armageddon ...... I hear is only cockroach go live on ...... so yuh see ...... it really eh have no convertin me ...... cuz other than the fact that I just don't care ...... I'm also one of those crabby types ..... who doh like people bodderin dem ..... and ..... I'm totally not a talker ...... so anyway ..... de point ah was kyna tryin tuh make is ....... until dat day ..... dem Jehovah's Witnesses probably tort my apartment was vacant ..... cuz I never opened the door fuh dem ......
But ...... on dat fateful day ..... ah had leave meh door open ...... cuz ah figure ah woulda get more breeze comin in de house ..... little did I know ..... dat it woulda encourage Witnesses instead!
So anyway ..... dis time ..... ah couldn't hide and ignore ...... de door was done open ...... so ah acknowledge dem ...... and ..... as usual ..... dey wanted tuh talk ..... dey ask meh if ah does read de bible ..... an' ah say NO (unlike de many liars in de Woman Express 20 Questions who does say is de bess book dey ever read!!) ..... ah tell dem dat de bible too hard tuh read ...... den dey give meh ah lil book and ask meh tuh read someting from it ...... den when ah read it ...... dey ask meh if ah understand what ah read ....... which I did ...... so den dey give meh de book tuh keep ..... and dey ask meh if ah want dem tuh come back and explain de book ..... den dey ask meh WHEN dey could come back ...... den dey ask meh meh name ...... an' ah gave it tuh dem ....... BIG MISTAKE ..... cuz from dat day on ..... dey kept coming back ..... and instead of knocking on de door ...... they would call out my name ...... ketchin meh over and over again!!!
February 24, 2010 now ...... I get ah envelope in my mailbox ..... you know when I open it ...... is ah nex book (so now I have 2) ..... wit ah handwritten letter from de same woman who had call de time ....... so not only did she note my phone number ..... she also noted my address!!
Den ...... yesterday ...... SUNDAY ...... at about 9:30 am ...... knocking on my door again ...... which I completely ignored ...... cuz I doh talk tuh nobody on ah SUNDAY! ..... it was dem ...... dey leave ah invitation fuh meh ..... fuh someting tomorrow ..... which I thought I'd share ..... altho ah feel yuh muzbe get your copy in your mail ahready .....
What I want tuh know is dis ...... why do Jehovah's Witnesses make me feel like I'm being stalked ...... who funds Jehovah's Witnesses ...... like how can dey afford tuh be distributing all dat reading material fuh free ...... and what's in it fuh all dem Witnesses who does be traipse-in all over de place tryin tuh convert people ...... is it dat dey have a quota tuh convert ...... is it dat dey really really care about you and me ....... I JUST DON'T GET IT!
PS: .... Happy Shouter Baptist Day!
Back in de day ..... when ah used tuh work in town ..... yuh was guaranteed tuh bounce up some in Woodford Square (daily) ...... tryin tuh give yuh (or sell yuh) Watchtower or Awake ..... and as if dat wasn't enough ..... on de weekend too ..... when yuh lookin tuh relax yuhself ...... dey was bound tuh come knockin on yuh door (early in de mornin) ..... and when I say 'dey' ...... I mean ...... a posse!
But ...... whatever ..... dat was all well and good ...... cuz ah guess dey hadda do what dey hadda do ...... and tuh each his own ...... at least we knew what tuh expect ...... and de option was always there ...... tuh either ..... give dem ah bligh ..... or ..... ignore dem ......
So imagine my shock ..... when ..... on October 21, 2009 (a Wednesday) ..... at exactly 10:58 am ..... my landline rings ..... and the caller ID reveals ah '633' number ...... and when I answer ..... is not one of my neighbours like I thought ..... but a Witness!!! ..... yes ..... a Witness without warning!
Now at first I didn't know was ah Witness eh ...... cuz de woman ask tuh speak tuh my daddy ...... actually ..... de convo went like dis:
JW: Hello, may I speak with Mr. Scene
ME: He's not here
(I doh really go into de whole story about how he doh live
here no more blah, blah, blah - I does jus say he eh here)
JW: So can I speak with you then?
(which tuh me was not a strange question - cuz I say de
woman want tuh leave a message fuh daddy)
ME: Sure
JW: Do you think that a Human Government can provide adequate
housing for all its citizens?
ME: GRRRRRRRRRRRR??????? ..... EH??????? ..... what yuh say??
(while thinking 'not de PNM'!!!)
JW: Do you think that a Human Government can provide adequate
housing for all its citizens???
ME: What is a HUMAN GOVERNMENT ...... it have ah nex kind?
Well wit dah one ...... de woman let out ah big ...... AHHHHHHHH ...... like as if tuh say ...... "yuh answer exactly how ah wanted yuh answer" ......
Needless tuh say ..... the conversation continued in the vein of preaching to me ...... OVER DE PHONE!!!
Then ..... in mid-preach ...... ah ketch mehself ...... cuz I start tuh study ...... how dis woman get my number ..... so ah ask her ......
ME: Ahhhmmm ..... excuse ...... how you get dis number?
JW: From the phone book
ME: EH????? ..... what yuh mean ..... you does jus sit dong whole day
wit ah phone book lookin fuh people tuh call?
JW: Yes
It was ah lil too much ..... ah couldn't believe what ah was hearin ...... so ah wrap up de call!
A A ..... about ah two weeks later now ..... knock, knock, knock ..... ah posse reach ......
Now ah know dat everybody different ..... and everybody have dey own beliefs etc ...... an' is not dat ah doh respect dat ..... is jus dat ...... I DON'T CARE ...... so as far as I concerned ...... I is one tuh leave wit meh Roman Catholic brainwashin ....... cuz yuh know what ..... I like Christmas ...... and I like Easter ..... and tho nobody does take orn meh birthday ..... I still get a gift from my mummy and daddy ..... so I still like to celebrate it ..... and heck shit ....... if my ass was in dire need of blood on some operatin table ..... I WILL want somebody else's ...... and armageddon or no armageddon ...... I hear is only cockroach go live on ...... so yuh see ...... it really eh have no convertin me ...... cuz other than the fact that I just don't care ...... I'm also one of those crabby types ..... who doh like people bodderin dem ..... and ..... I'm totally not a talker ...... so anyway ..... de point ah was kyna tryin tuh make is ....... until dat day ..... dem Jehovah's Witnesses probably tort my apartment was vacant ..... cuz I never opened the door fuh dem ......
But ...... on dat fateful day ..... ah had leave meh door open ...... cuz ah figure ah woulda get more breeze comin in de house ..... little did I know ..... dat it woulda encourage Witnesses instead!
So anyway ..... dis time ..... ah couldn't hide and ignore ...... de door was done open ...... so ah acknowledge dem ...... and ..... as usual ..... dey wanted tuh talk ..... dey ask meh if ah does read de bible ..... an' ah say NO (unlike de many liars in de Woman Express 20 Questions who does say is de bess book dey ever read!!) ..... ah tell dem dat de bible too hard tuh read ...... den dey give meh ah lil book and ask meh tuh read someting from it ...... den when ah read it ...... dey ask meh if ah understand what ah read ....... which I did ...... so den dey give meh de book tuh keep ..... and dey ask meh if ah want dem tuh come back and explain de book ..... den dey ask meh WHEN dey could come back ...... den dey ask meh meh name ...... an' ah gave it tuh dem ....... BIG MISTAKE ..... cuz from dat day on ..... dey kept coming back ..... and instead of knocking on de door ...... they would call out my name ...... ketchin meh over and over again!!!
February 24, 2010 now ...... I get ah envelope in my mailbox ..... you know when I open it ...... is ah nex book (so now I have 2) ..... wit ah handwritten letter from de same woman who had call de time ....... so not only did she note my phone number ..... she also noted my address!!
Den ...... yesterday ...... SUNDAY ...... at about 9:30 am ...... knocking on my door again ...... which I completely ignored ...... cuz I doh talk tuh nobody on ah SUNDAY! ..... it was dem ...... dey leave ah invitation fuh meh ..... fuh someting tomorrow ..... which I thought I'd share ..... altho ah feel yuh muzbe get your copy in your mail ahready .....
What I want tuh know is dis ...... why do Jehovah's Witnesses make me feel like I'm being stalked ...... who funds Jehovah's Witnesses ...... like how can dey afford tuh be distributing all dat reading material fuh free ...... and what's in it fuh all dem Witnesses who does be traipse-in all over de place tryin tuh convert people ...... is it dat dey have a quota tuh convert ...... is it dat dey really really care about you and me ....... I JUST DON'T GET IT!
PS: .... Happy Shouter Baptist Day!
ah had leave meh door open ...... cuz ah figure ah woulda get more breeze comin in de house ..... little did I know ..... dat it woulda encourage Witnesses instead!
Dat almost sound like yuh likening dem to unwanted cockroaches...
I remember once when I was wukking Social Welfare, I had to stop a JW money... de 'oman staying home to go 'witnessing' instead ah wukking to provide fuh she 2 lil chirren (both under 10 yrs eh) ...
All I could think was dis 'oman prefer leh she chirren suffer on Public Assistance for $131 a month while she 'witness' when she coul haul arse and find a wuk to take care ah dem in more comfort.
An' yuh know, no matter how much I point out she suffering de chirren, she NEVER get it?
Reply to this
oh gorm Jumbie ...... yuh bad eh ..... ah cockaroach?! ...... and btw ..... what is ah 'unwanted' cockaroach ...... .... it have wanted ones?!
.... and that story just compounds my confusion ...... cuz again ..... I wonder ...... what it is so does make dem go 'witnessing' ..... cuz how could she go witnessing instead of working tuh support her children .....
Reply to this
it have wanted ones?!
I used tuh mine fowl... 'nuff said.
Reply to this
Scene! you give me a good ab workout with this one! I laugh till I cry. Why dem people so miserable???...steups! If they gonna be in heaven I jus doh wanna go!
Reply to this
..... da'is you ..... I want tuh go tuh Heaven ......
Reply to this
Yup 'Scene... easy to go to heaven. Ah JW might be that hidden Christian male you just blogged about that could take you tuh heaven... several times. (^_~)
Reply to this
lol! well is best yuh make friends from now!
Reply to this
OMG, this is so funny.
Those friendly folks used to ring my doorbell as well,until I found a poster on the inet that reads:
'Over here we: don't buy anything at the door, don't donate, don't change our religion, we are insured and our bills are paid.
Thus: Bye!'
Needless to say it works!
Reply to this
oh gosh Chica ..... love dat poster ..... yuh puttin ideas in meh head!!!
Reply to this
once again yuh almost get meh fired wid this post...ima give it tuh yuh...your posts are worth de wait coz this one is pure gold!! And i agree wid chica im soo happy that they cant do that in the states...Dem pple too boldface tuh call pple at their house. Im surprised yuh didnt hang up.
Reply to this
nah .... it not in me tuh hang-up on people ..... but I do a really mean IGNORE!
Reply to this
HAHAHAHHAHAH....I eh laugh so hard in a while..they stalking yuh yes..I had a telemarketing Stalking me this week self...The man call my hubby and discuss something I doh know what..but he call back when hubby not here and asking me for hubby cell # I say what..who are you...he say hubby know him and give him the #...well I had to tell him off one time...and from there he start calling my house and not answering or putting down the phone...well I cah believe this madness is time to go crazy on his ass...I call back the # they calling from and start to go off on there ass..I eh get anymore calls in 2 days..I tell yuh these people is be crazy and mad ... yes
Reply to this
..... OK .... now dat is what I call boldface ......
..... but we have dem here too yuh know ...... yep ...... Trini have Telemarketers now ...... and dat is one of de reasons I doh answer my phone(s) ......
Reply to this
Those JW's. I am surrounded by them where I live (opposite and next too) so whenever they come calling, I does feel shame to hide... (well, ah does hide sometimes). Huzzy does take shame out he eye and go out. Bet yuh last dollar he coming back with some literature and looking tuh take my last dollar to give as a contribution.
However, yuh see that phone call thing, I ent playing dat nah. They will speak with my good friend "Tone". First name Dial.
Reply to this
Do you know ..... up tuh yesterday self ...... dey was here reminding my neighbour bout de ting last nite!!! .... luckily dey didn't comin knockin on my door ....
But not all ah dem annoyin yuh know ..... cuz my housekeeper is one ...... and she been working here fuh years ...... and not once has she ever tried tuh preach tuh me ..... she does accept lil gift an' ting ...... but she doh preach ...... so it look like it have different breeds!
Reply to this
OMG Scene, I got one of those in my mail box! like they have ppl working TTPOST.
Reply to this
TTPOST?? ...... it had ah stamp on it??? ....... dem doh mail ting ..... dem does deliver ting personally!!
Reply to this
I real bawl with this post Scene. When I was a teenager I usually "took the hit" and went out to talk to them when my family refused to go outside. I thought it was rude to ignore people. I endured even though I struggled trying to define what I believed at the time (you know, teenage crisis thing).
Well lo and behold, I did away with it altogether and the last JW that came to my door (that I remember, which was years ago) asked if I believed in God, I told them I'm an atheist and the lady didn't even bat an eyelash (she was a mature lady around my mother's age who would have had a heart attack). We actually had a great conversation about spirituality.
Then one of meh good friend is a JW so she does give me all the stories about how people react when she use to do she walking about. It's great to get it from a different perspective.
As for the JW telemarketer, ahm...I wonder if she handwrote letters to everyone she called. The thought makes my wrist hurt.
Reply to this
I realise ..... sometimes ..... yuh have tuh be rude ...... or else people just won't get de message ......
..... and den sometimes ...... is because yuh jus fed-up .....
Is like last nite ...... 7:31 pm ..... ah Out of Area number callin my landline ..... but ..... nevertheless ah still answer it ..... when ah answer now ..... is some female robot from TSTT ..... askin fuh my father ...... so ah say he not here ..... then she ask if is Scene speakin ...... so I say yes ..... den she go ask me if anybody ever contact me about TSTT new Entertainment nonsense ...... so ah say ...... No ...... but I already heard about it ...... ah not interested ...... ah don't want nuttin else from TSTT ....... I have FLOW ..... and she was like ...... OK well you have a good evening ......
I hope dat dey jus cross my number off dey list or whatever ..... and dat dey don't ever call again! ....... cuz why is TSTT calling my house at 7:31 in de nite .... tuh ask me stupidness!!!!
..... and yeah ..... I thought the same thing when I got that handwritten letter ...... cuz it was a half-page letter ..... da'is plenty writing ...... I just couldn't imagine this woman writing letters tuh everybody ..... but ..... 10 points fuh de personal touch tho ..... cuz she coulda easily do ah template in Word and mail-merge it!
Reply to this
Scene, I forget to give you the best story...
My neighbour (now deceased, in Trinidad, some years ago) used to plant rice. He was 'beating rice' (threshing it by beating the grains off the stalk with a lathi- long stick, slightly curved) when some JW turned up.
As was their wont, they asked him if he had some time.
neighbour turned to them, and said, "I is ah busy man, if yuh want to talk to me, pick up de lathi and start beating... we go talk then."
Needless to say, they did not help, not stop. And they never bothered him after... in fact, come to think of it, is 15 yrs now since de man pass away, and I think they still don't visit his house.
Reply to this
..... and this story reminds me of a time when they came ..... and I went out tuh dem ..... in one lil piece ah clothes .....
..... of course ah get some cokey-eye looks ...... but dat didn't stop dem from comin back ...... I guess they saw that they had their work cut out fuh dem .....
Reply to this
Yuh switch the internet over to flow?
Reply to this
..... you know if I had switch tuh FLOW ..... yuh woulda hear bout dat!
Nah ..... is de new cable TV ting dat dey (TSTT) have ..... dat she was tryin tuh chain meh up tuh take ......
Reply to this
I really liked your blog until I saw the post on Jehovah's Witnesses...and I am one, (you:GRRRRRRRRRR...) I will answer your question (Q1) Do we have a quota? (A1) Yes, our quota is the whole world because we are offering people life, not in heaven, but on earth. God's Kingdom is what we preach about. Living in a world under Jehovah God. (Q2) Do we want to convert you? (A2) No. Rather we do care about you. Today a person may be too busy to listen, another time he may gladly make the time. People change; serious problems in life may stimulate an awareness of spiritual need. That is all i wanted to say. Funny blog, though, I got good laughs tonight.
Reply to this
Hey Bluecat ..... Welcome tuh de scene
..... an' I eh gettin into no 'religion' discussion here eh ...... but I just can't relate tuh people trying tuh force feed me their beliefs ..... I am a Roman Catholic ...... and I don't go around talking to people about Heaven and Hell and God and Jesus ...... I guess what I'm trying to say is ...... what makes your beliefs more valid than mine?
Reply to this
I kept looking for an email reply, sorry for the long wait.
In answer to your question,
1. God's name. Psalms 83:18, "That people may know that you whose name is Jehovah, You alone is the most high over all the earth." This the name of the real god whom we worship.
2. We are his witnesses, in the sense that on earth we are teaching you about him. Isiah 43:10 says, "You are my witnesses," is the utterance of Jehovah, "even my servant whom I have chosen, in order that you may know and have faith in me...Before me there was no god formed and after me there continued to be none." If you are a representative of a company, you are aware of its mission statement, and its policies, likewise, you can see that Jehovah's Witness is not a made-up name, but it comes straight from the bible, if you want you can read it in your bible. And the last scripture, I will not tell you what it says but I encourage you to read it: 1 Corinthians 8:5,6. I could expand more but I don't want you to tire of me...
Reply to this