Is OK tuh Stick .... B4 yuh Click!
Some time in October ..... I get one long-ass email ..... about some man who dead and leave real money somewhere?! ..... and de sender of de email (who I doh know) ...... write ME (of all people) tuh seek my assistance wit gettin de money from wherever it is ..... some amount like 200 million pounds or sumtin!
STEUPS ..... if I have email ..... it means I wasn't born yesterday!!!!!!!
Den ..... about two weeks ago ..... I call a fren tuh verify someting ..... an' he was too glad dat ah call ..... cuz my boy had just been clued-in tuh some serious shit dat was suppose tuh go down in TnT dat same nite ..... yep ..... apparently his fren had get some email warning of some gang initiation shit ..... where said gang members woulda be driving around in cars wit dey headlights off ..... and if yuh was tuh flash dem ..... dey woulda kill yuh .....
STEUPS ..... you know how long dat story on de internet!!!!!!!
Den yesterday ..... ah get ah email about some lil 3 year old Tini girl dat missin .....
STEUPS .... de chile is not no Trini!!!!!!!
And I started to think about EMAIL ..... cuz what an invention ..... what an ingenious improvement to snail mail (and sometimes a pain in de arse!) ..... how did we ever survive without it ..... and do people even write letters anymore ...... actually ...... do we even remember how to write a letter ..... is good penmanship of any value today ..... how cool is an emoticon ..... and how many of us are now suffering from carpal tunnel syndrome ..... or some kind of social phobia ..... where interaction with each other consists of virtual reality in cyberspace ..... wit IM and My Space and Facebook and Twitter and de same Email?!
Back in de day ..... when I had an 8-4 ..... email was DA BOMB ..... I welcomed each and every single one .... I read ALL ..... the work related ones ..... the personal ones ..... spam ..... ALL ..... as a matter of fact ...... there was really no distinction ..... email was email!!! ...... it was a good escape ...... and a good way tuh break de monotony and drudgery of office life ...... it was also a good way tuh not have tuh actually 'talk' to someone too ..... it was a good way to receive info ..... and disseminate info to one and all ..... it was just DA BOMB!
And at the time ..... because I felt a certain way about email ..... and because to a certain extent we (me and technology) were still in the honeymoon phase of our relationship ..... I used tuh treat my (In)box with great care ..... I checked up on it frequently ..... I organised it ..... I cleaned it ..... I showed it love ...... and it flourished!
But then ..... soon after I got out of jail ..... oooops .... ah mean soon after ah fire de wuk ..... email started to become less important to me ..... cuz no longer did I need dat sanity break ..... so no longer did I need to use it as an escape ..... it started to resemble a nag ..... a nuisance even ..... and I guess I started to take it for granted ..... so ..... naturally ..... my (In)box deteriorated ..... and started tuh get real congested (daily) ..... and not only with the regular welcome emails ..... but with loads of crap too!!!
Then one day ..... it struck me ..... my (In)box had contracted B.I.M.I. .... Bullshit In My Inbox!!!
At the time ..... I tried every possible 'cure' ..... Delete ..... Junk ..... Vitamin C(ussin) even ..... but nothing worked!!
So ..... in sheer desperation .... ah hit de internet ..... in de hopes of solving my problem once an' fuh all ..... and there it was ..... just a few hundred keystrokes and clicks away ..... a website called ....... URBAN LEGENDS!
Right away I applied it ..... administering at least one dose per day ..... and the results were amazing ..... cuz within days ..... de quantity and quality of emails dat was appearin in meh (In)box ..... had improved considerably!
And when ah say ..... I applied it ..... and I administered at least one dose ..... what I mean is ..... every time somebody sent me shit ..... I would reply TO ALL ..... saying ...... IS SHIT ..... so I kinda became a lil email bitch ..... but was no scene ..... at least I saved a few people ..... and ME from gettin de shit!
Now ah know dat dis post real longwinded eh ..... so in a nutshell ..... what ah really tryin tuh say ..... is ..... fuh all meh people like me ..... who still kinda livin in de dark ages ..... and who still usin email ..... try yuh bess nah ..... try yuh bess tuh ..... Stick before yuh Click ...... yeah ..... try tuh check shit before yuh forward it ..... cuz oh gorm ..... trust me ..... if de email soundin SERIOUSLY UNBELIEVABLE AND DOTISH ..... den chances are .... it IS seriously unbelievable dotish shit!!!
Phew ..... good .... now that that's outta my system ..... who de cap fit ..... wear it!
..... an 'ah hopin fuh de bess!
Scene is out!
STEUPS ..... if I have email ..... it means I wasn't born yesterday!!!!!!!
Den ..... about two weeks ago ..... I call a fren tuh verify someting ..... an' he was too glad dat ah call ..... cuz my boy had just been clued-in tuh some serious shit dat was suppose tuh go down in TnT dat same nite ..... yep ..... apparently his fren had get some email warning of some gang initiation shit ..... where said gang members woulda be driving around in cars wit dey headlights off ..... and if yuh was tuh flash dem ..... dey woulda kill yuh .....
STEUPS ..... you know how long dat story on de internet!!!!!!!
Den yesterday ..... ah get ah email about some lil 3 year old Tini girl dat missin .....
STEUPS .... de chile is not no Trini!!!!!!!
And I started to think about EMAIL ..... cuz what an invention ..... what an ingenious improvement to snail mail (and sometimes a pain in de arse!) ..... how did we ever survive without it ..... and do people even write letters anymore ...... actually ...... do we even remember how to write a letter ..... is good penmanship of any value today ..... how cool is an emoticon ..... and how many of us are now suffering from carpal tunnel syndrome ..... or some kind of social phobia ..... where interaction with each other consists of virtual reality in cyberspace ..... wit IM and My Space and Facebook and Twitter and de same Email?!
Back in de day ..... when I had an 8-4 ..... email was DA BOMB ..... I welcomed each and every single one .... I read ALL ..... the work related ones ..... the personal ones ..... spam ..... ALL ..... as a matter of fact ...... there was really no distinction ..... email was email!!! ...... it was a good escape ...... and a good way tuh break de monotony and drudgery of office life ...... it was also a good way tuh not have tuh actually 'talk' to someone too ..... it was a good way to receive info ..... and disseminate info to one and all ..... it was just DA BOMB!
And at the time ..... because I felt a certain way about email ..... and because to a certain extent we (me and technology) were still in the honeymoon phase of our relationship ..... I used tuh treat my (In)box with great care ..... I checked up on it frequently ..... I organised it ..... I cleaned it ..... I showed it love ...... and it flourished!
But then ..... soon after I got out of jail ..... oooops .... ah mean soon after ah fire de wuk ..... email started to become less important to me ..... cuz no longer did I need dat sanity break ..... so no longer did I need to use it as an escape ..... it started to resemble a nag ..... a nuisance even ..... and I guess I started to take it for granted ..... so ..... naturally ..... my (In)box deteriorated ..... and started tuh get real congested (daily) ..... and not only with the regular welcome emails ..... but with loads of crap too!!!
Then one day ..... it struck me ..... my (In)box had contracted B.I.M.I. .... Bullshit In My Inbox!!!
At the time ..... I tried every possible 'cure' ..... Delete ..... Junk ..... Vitamin C(ussin) even ..... but nothing worked!!
So ..... in sheer desperation .... ah hit de internet ..... in de hopes of solving my problem once an' fuh all ..... and there it was ..... just a few hundred keystrokes and clicks away ..... a website called ....... URBAN LEGENDS!
Right away I applied it ..... administering at least one dose per day ..... and the results were amazing ..... cuz within days ..... de quantity and quality of emails dat was appearin in meh (In)box ..... had improved considerably!
And when ah say ..... I applied it ..... and I administered at least one dose ..... what I mean is ..... every time somebody sent me shit ..... I would reply TO ALL ..... saying ...... IS SHIT ..... so I kinda became a lil email bitch ..... but was no scene ..... at least I saved a few people ..... and ME from gettin de shit!
Now ah know dat dis post real longwinded eh ..... so in a nutshell ..... what ah really tryin tuh say ..... is ..... fuh all meh people like me ..... who still kinda livin in de dark ages ..... and who still usin email ..... try yuh bess nah ..... try yuh bess tuh ..... Stick before yuh Click ...... yeah ..... try tuh check shit before yuh forward it ..... cuz oh gorm ..... trust me ..... if de email soundin SERIOUSLY UNBELIEVABLE AND DOTISH ..... den chances are .... it IS seriously unbelievable dotish shit!!!
Phew ..... good .... now that that's outta my system ..... who de cap fit ..... wear it!
..... an 'ah hopin fuh de bess!
Scene is out!
omg..dat sooo tru it has become such a bother dat i no longer even go tru my email anymore!! d hard part is that its directly linked to my berry so everytime something enters my inbox im alerted with a shrill "ping" !!!!smh... damn u technology
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Aye jenny .... Welcome tuh de scene
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Hey, doh be dissin' my cyberspace reality - ent we meet in real life because of it?
LOL friends and family know better than to send me this crap due to the friendly response they got in return. i.e people check yuh sources before you waste mih time and clutter mih inbox with this shite, followed by a link to Snopes.com repository of every urban email known to man. The exploding cell phone, cancer causing deodorant, de rat poo on the top of soda cans, yeah even dat slut of an African prince looking to claim his inheritance dere too.
I have to say ah real disappointed in him. Yuh mean he contact you too Scene what a hoe! Steups and there I thought I was the only one. Hmm I wonder what is 200million dollars shared amongst the 200 million people that done get this spam.....
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.... fuh true .... we probably would not have met ..... if wuzen fuh cyberspace .....
.... an' oh gorm ..... ah forget tuh mention Snopes too .....
When I started using those websites to verify emails ..... it was so shocking to find out that 99.9% of the emails we get .... IS PURE CRAP!!!!
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Ah really have to tell you how to set up yuh own filters... I hardly get shite like that any more. Well, between the filters and some well chosen words to the miscreants who sent um... (^_^)
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..... and that's exactly what my filter is ..... well chosen words
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wizzythestick yuh beat meh to it...if it wuzzen fuh cyberspace, I woulda never meet Scene too
As fuh dem a$$hole emails...thank goodness for the delete button.
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KC ..... doh even start meh on dat BBM scene ..... I doh know how allyuh berry peeps does take dat noise in allyuh head whole day .....
De odda day I was hangin wit ah fren ..... and every two seconds he phone makin noise ..... if you know how I wanted tuh fling it!!!!.
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I hear yuh eh but that is the owner's choice. You can mute all dat crap. That is one of my pet peeves...and I have many. I know that it is a personal choice eh but I feel when yuh in the company of others, yuh need to mute it man.
Like this man who I work with...his ring tone is ah chutney..."Caroni close dong we cyar go fuh-cane (pronounce dat how yuh want)"....daiz ah line in de song. Sometimes he will leave the phone in his office and that will be ringing out loud, loud. Ah doh have tuh tell how that does sound.
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lawd ..... doh start meh on Chutney!!!
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I gave my friends a stern warning...send me spam and yuh will get block. After that email, I've been spam-friend free for years and my gmail blocks most spam...and i unsubscribe to any cluttering kinda email....so most of the time when I look in the inbox is things that I need and want to be informed of.
A strong email and a good spam control could get most of them things handle scene.
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I have about 5 email addresses .... but I use only one .... so the others are set up to forward to that ONE ..... and I'm realising that that is the problem .....
I need to go to those others and check out the filters .....cuz I have no problems with the one email address that I actually use .....
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